I didn't care much about my feelings at the time, I thought that people would die when they died, what was the big deal, but then I actually knew that I was very sad, a person didn't even have the desire to care about his inner feelings, and living was actually no different from the walking dead, and I was probably like that at that time.

But now it's different, I read and write, memorized the Analects, the Book of Songs, and learned the Book of Rites, all of which Mr. Fang taught me, but he now says that he can't teach me.

My mind was a little confused, and I didn't know what to do, so I looked at Mr. Fang, who had the book in his hand aside, but his eyes were already closed. Is it because I'm too sleepy to fall asleep? Seeing that he hadn't even covered the quilt, I stepped forward and tore the mattress that had slipped down, re-covered him, and walked out of the house in silence.

The next afternoon, I was called to the study by my father, and for the first time, he asked me with a straight face, "How did you offend Mr. Fang?" ”

Of course I was confused when I heard it, how dare I offend Mr. Fang? It's just that I discussed the issue of loyalty, filial piety, benevolence and righteousness with him yesterday, how do I know where I offended him? Wait a minute......

Mr. Fang said that I had disappointed him too much...... This is not offended, but it does not meet Mr. Fang's expectations, and I also know that I am upsetting Mr. Fang, isn't this a fun way to study hard?

I had no choice but to reply, "I don't know." ”

My father came over and touched my head, and said, "Mr. said that he has limited learning and is not worthy of being a teacher, so he came to me early this morning to ask for my resignation despite his illness, and asked for the reason but refused to tell me the truth." Because the Father thinks you know, he comes to you and asks you, but you don't know, so he just asks. ”

I only listened to half a sentence, and my head was like being hit by thunder, and then I was in no mood to listen to what my father said, so I couldn't wait to run to Mr. Fang to ask clearly. As soon as Daddy's words fell, I signaled to leave, and he probably guessed what I was going to do, and waved my hand to let me out.

I rushed to Mr. Fang's house almost without a run, and when I saw that he had already packed up his things, I said in a casual way, "Mr. doesn't care about me?" ”

Mr. Fang was wearing a very simple cotton coat and was packing the bookcase, and when he heard me coming, he didn't even look back, but said a little coldly: "The friendship between Fang and Gongzi is over today and yesterday. ”

I almost cried when I heard this, and said, "Sir, don't go, I know it's wrong." "It's like going back to a year ago, didn't he stay a year ago? This time it will be.

Mr. Fang finally turned around, still said coldly: "Childe knows what is wrong, can you know where the mistake is?" ”

I was stunned by his question, where did all the usual nonsense skills go? At the critical moment, he couldn't answer a word.

Mr. Fang waited for a while, nodded and said, "Very good, what Fang can teach, Childe already knows, Childe will, but not all of them are taught by Fang." From now on, Childe doesn't have to remember Mr. Fang, and Fang has never had a student like Childe. That's all it takes, the son is self-respecting. Then he went to pack up his books.

I stood behind him in a daze, so ashamed that I didn't even have the courage to speak. I admit that I disagreed with him yesterday and had an argument with him, but wasn't that a matter of discussion? I didn't deliberately raise the bar, why can't he accept it?

"Sir......" Before I could say anything, I cried, as the saying goes, "a good man bleeds without tears", Lao Tzu is a gangster, he actually cried because of this kind of thing, it seems that he is not good enough for the grade of a hero.

Mr. Fang had his back to me, and I stood behind him until he had packed all the books, and he didn't say a word to me again.

Of course I hope that Mr. Fang will stay, but I have never liked the difficulty of strong people, the words have already been said, he is leaving, I can only watch.

Mr. Fang seemed to be a little uncomfortable, and he rested after working for a while, I remembered that he was still sick, and said busily: "Mr. The cold has not healed, it is better to wait for the illness to be cured......"

Mr. Fang shook his head and said, "Fang's illness has been cured for the most part, so there is no need for the son to worry about it." This unfamiliar tone is similar to that of Mr. Fang before.

I was really scared, I can't find the words to describe this feeling of being abandoned, I just felt very uncomfortable. In the past, Master also treated me like this, at that time, I had no heart and lungs, how to live my life, and even deceived myself into thinking that it would be cooler to be abandoned, and I didn't know how to write the word cherish. Now that you know, what can you do? Mr. Fang still wants to go, but I have tried to cherish it as much as possible!

I was drunk and made mistakes, I didn't say a word when he beat and scolded, I didn't say a word, I did whatever he told me to do, he beat me, I couldn't get out of bed for a month, and I didn't even complain about him in my heart. Now just because I refuted him a few words, said to leave, and didn't even give an explanation, what am I?

I knelt on the ground and didn't get up until Mr. Fang had been gone for a long time. In fact, I don't know what I am hoping for, do I hope he can come back and see my sincerity in keeping him? Probably, but he didn't come back.

The room was deserted and only half of the candle was burning, the fire in the charcoal basin had long been extinguished, I knelt on the ground and only felt a burst of cold air into my body, but I refused to get up, and then Rong'er ran over and helped me back to the room.

Less than a month after my tenth birthday, I caught a cold, fell seriously ill, and lay in bed for another half a month, and when I was completely cured, the snow began to fall in Qizhou City.

Because of Mr. Fang's departure, everyone in the house knows that I am in a bad mood and doesn't bother me too much, even Sanniang, who has always been unruly with me, rarely runs into my house now, I am lonely and uncomfortable alone, so I have to look at the snowflakes outside in a daze - I don't know where Mr. Fang has gone? Did you get to Koto? Are you settled?

Hey, what does it matter to me whether he's settled down or not? He doesn't care about me, why should I care about him? But...... Mr. Fang hadn't fully recovered when he left, the weather was cold, and he didn't know how to take care of himself, what if he caught a cold again?

And that question, Mr. Fang didn't answer me at all, so I had to ask my father.

I was thinking nonsense in front of the door, and my father came to me in the snow, and I didn't hear the sound of the snow until he started talking to me, and of course I didn't hear what he was saying.

Dad was still understanding, he asked, "Built, are you still thinking about Mr. Fang?" ”

In fact, I didn't want to admit it at all, but I felt that I couldn't fool him in front of my father, so I replied: "Father, Mr. has left for ten months, has he arrived in Jiangdong?" ”

Dad shook his head, "If it arrives, there will be a letter, don't worry." ”

I think the ancient postal system was so bad that I didn't know when Mr. Fang's letter arrived, and there was no way to comfort me. Remembering that Mr. Fang didn't answer my question, he asked, "Father, the child wants to ask his father something." ”

Daddy touched my little head again and asked, "What's the matter?" ”

I said: "I read a book a few days ago, and I saw that Song Xianggong and Chu fought in Hong, and they did not attack while they were halfway crossed, and they must wait for the Chu division to cross the river and beat drums before attacking, so this behavior can be called benevolence and righteousness." However, this act of benevolence and righteousness led to the defeat of the Song division and the disaster of the subjects of the Song State, what is the use of such benevolence and righteousness? ”

I saw that my father's eyes lit up and said with a smile: "You and Mr. Fang have had this discussion?" ”

I nodded and told the truth: "The reason why Mr. Fang resigned is because of this. Father, I don't understand, sir...... said that I wanted to make a contribution because my heart was not right, and I also said...... He also said...... "When I think of Mr. Fang, my throat doesn't know if it's blocked by something, and I can't even say a complete sentence."

Seeing that my expression was different, my father pulled me to his side and said, "What else do you say?" ”

I fixed my mind and responded: "I also said that the king of Jin is unkind, unrighteous, disloyal and unfilial, if he really gains power, he will be a faint king, and talented people in the world are not willing to assist him, and my father is like this." I retorted that loyalty, filial piety, benevolence and righteousness should have nothing to do with whether or not Mingjun should be a gentleman, and Mr. Fang became angry. "After saying that, I couldn't help but want to cry, damn it, what's wrong with me?

My father smiled and pinched my face, and said, "The emperor's family is different from ordinary people's homes, ordinary people keep to themselves, and fathers, sons, and brothers are respectful and friendly, which is very good; The emperor's family can not be an ordinary theory, they are not only father and son brothers, but also monarchs and ministers, no matter how intimate the family relationship in the world, once it involves the struggle for power, it is no longer simple. Your opinion is not necessarily wrong. It's just that everyone has their own insistence, Mr. Fang has his insistence, you have your opinions, it doesn't matter whether it's right or wrong, everyone has their own aspirations. ”

Dad's words are completely different from what Mr. Fang said, although I don't know who was right between the two of them, but my dad and I have the same opinion, it is really my dad, but my dad and I don't think exactly the same, and Mr. Fang's insistence must be wrong? If according to my father's meaning, I don't have to think too much about it, my father will be the emperor in the future, then our family will be the emperor's family in the future, in this case, if I have to kill my younger brother, then I can't be judged as an ordinary brother.

But whether it is a monarch or a father and son, King Jin is indeed doing something wrong, why doesn't Dad say it?

I now know that although this father is full of benevolence and righteousness on weekdays, he actually has a lot of thoughts, no wonder he can be the emperor in the future, and so is the king of Jin, if he is not right-hearted, he can't be the emperor, so it can be seen that people who can be emperors are probably a little cruel. But cruelty doesn't come from learning just by thinking about it.

If I really become like this, then Mr. Fang is probably not just disappointed, right? I also want to prove it to him one day - although I, Li Jiancheng, want to establish a meritorious reputation, I definitely take it as my responsibility to help the world, and I definitely don't mean anything wrong.

I suddenly realized that what Mr. Fang and my father said were all true, but they were not all right, and I should take the correct views for my own use, and ignore those wrong views.