In the spring of 1983, in the Zero Military Region Hospital, my father Huang Weiguo always muttered a sentence, "I want to go to the Red River, I want to go to the Red River." My mother said, "Do you want Zijin to come back right away?" Then I'll tell him to come back right away. My father, Huang Weiguo, shook his head in denial. Tang Weidong speculated that the reason why my father Huang Weiguo wanted Honghe was because Honghe hid the secret he was looking for, and second, he knew that his fate was not long and wanted to see his son. But Tang Weidong didn't know that speculation was what my father thought. But in this spring, it happened that my father's infusion bottle was dropped and replaced with a toxic potion, and if it hadn't been for the doctor's rounds, my father would definitely not have been able to escape this murder. Tang Weidong immediately understood that my father Huang Weiguo was not thinking about his son, he must have discovered something, and the appearance of the murderer also confirmed Tang Weidong's speculation about the conspiracy. My father survived the rescue, but his already weak body could not withstand the poison, and his health became worse. Tang Weidong ordered Zhao Hanbing to readjust the security measures against my father, Huang Weiguo, and said something very ugly to the doctor, "If this patient dies, you will end more than just a doctor's career. ”

This spring, in the caravan inn in Honghe County, I was facing Yehena, who had lost her mind. I didn't know what to tell her.

Yehena came to the ward of the hospital and pointed at me and said to Ah Yue, "I'm going to borrow him." ”

Ah Yue said, "Yes, but don't do any damage." ”

I looked at Ah Yue: "Ah Yue said, go?" ”

Yehena and I walked out of the room. In the hallway, Yehena floated up, and it seemed that she had just pretended to be calm, and when she came out, she floated. How much alcohol was drunk? I had no choice but to help Yehena to the caravan inn at the entrance of the hospital.

"I'm not drunk at all," Yehena said.

I said to Yehena, "Forget it, Miss, do you want another bottle?"

"Of course," said Yehena. Du Runjian left first, I know you guys are incredible to me and Du Runjian to break up. You all think I'm the kind of scheming woman who can only calculate. Yes, I admit that I calculated, I'm going to the United States. The old man of the fat family can help me get it, he wants my body and promises to help me go to the United States, this is a deal. Now, something happened to the Du family, as soon as the fat old man had an accident, the Du family was finished, and the gentleman did not stand under the dangerous wall, from ancient times to the present, what was wrong with me. But you all think I'm shameless, and you all think I'm ruthless like a bitch. But I was just a deal with him, a deal for each to take what he needed, a deal that had nothing to do with love. Am I doing something wrong? ”

I can't find the words to answer Yehna.

Yehena was alone and babbling like a river underwater. The innkeeper is an old woman who stands next to her and doesn't know why. I said to the old grandmother, "I'm sorry, I'm drunk, have a cup of coffee and a glass of lemonade." She'll be fine with a little venting. It doesn't affect your business. ”

The old grandmother smiled and said: "It's okay, most of the people who come in are drunkards, there are drunkards all over the world who have sat here, and life is to be drunk in the world, and it is not interesting not to be drunk." Like she is now, it is clear that there is not enough wine. Another bottle of vodka mixed with some ice, cool, directly dizzy, tomorrow morning up, nothing happened. ”

I said, "Let's have a bottle of vodka."

The old grandmother said: "This wine is not enough, there are a lot of words, like rivers and rivers, and when you are drunk, you are speechless."

The old grandmother said, "Do you still need coffee and lemon?" ”

I said to the old woman, "Of course. You've been in this shop for a while. ”

The old grandmother said to me, "It's not long, two or three hundred years, it's been in my hands for many years." ”

I said to the old grandmother, "You don't ask for a helper, old man, I think you are alone." ”

The old grandmother said, "I'm not busy. The man went to Myanmar when he was young, and the only thing left for me was this caravan inn, so I could only wait for him here, and I was worried that he would not be able to find me when he came back. ”

I said to the old woman, "What if he doesn't come back?" ”

The old grandmother said calmly: "Then you have to wait." looked at Yehena and said, it is normal for girls to make a child, and men just want to coax it. ”

In the spring of 1982, coffee, vodka, Coca-Cola, lemon drinks, these things were rare in Kunming, the provincial capital of Yunnan, but they were nothing in this place, these things came from Myitkyina, Bangkok and other places in Myanmar, and they could read the direction pointed by the caravan map on the wall, and these items were nothing new in this place, and the fruits alone came from more than ten countries. This caravan inn is a renovated former mansion and is a Chinese-style courtyard. It's like a small bar, and it's like a little teahouse. The small wooden table was covered with a printed tablecloth, and on the table there were small vases with fresh roses, an ashtray, and a match. The couch under the ass was soft as mud. There are calligraphy and paintings hanging on the wall, old advertisements for beautiful women, maps of horse gangs, and black records running out of Teresa Teng's "He Rijun Again" in the dilapidated gramophone of the ancient era, which is a song that is not trendy a hundred years ago and not outdated a hundred years later. I looked at the porcelain, horse lanterns, and incense candlesticks on the Bogu shelf, all of which were very old things, and there were still these things, and I asked the old woman, "Really?"

The old grandmother said: "Of course it is true, in the past, when the years were bad, I hid them abroad, and there are relatives in Vietnam and Myanmar, which are old things in our family, and now I have brought them back." Don't sell for money, keep it for fun, a thought. It's all left by my man. ”

The eaves of the house are five-story wood carvings carved with hollow carvings. In the past, people also burned money, spending so much effort and I don't know how much money to make an eaves, this Chinese craftsman's wood carving, the degree of fineness and the fine craftsmanship of Swiss watches is no different. This house should also be a cultural relic. Sitting in such a house, time is staggered, and I don't know what year I am sitting in. If it weren't for the high heels on Yehna's feet and the French fashion on her body, then you would have thought that the sound of a caravan passing by came from the door.

Yehena poured herself a glass of vodka and said to me, "It seems that we have reached a point where we have nothing to say."

I don't really know what to say to Yehena.

Yehena said to me, "Okay, if you don't say it, I say, didn't the Yiche girl die for you once?" Tonight, I, I, Ihna, can die for you once. ”

I said to Yehena, "It's drinking again, what's the joke?"

Yehena said to me, "I am grateful for everything you have done to me, including almost dying. I can pay you back. ”

I said to Yehna: "There is no one between us who owes anyone."

Ye Hena said: "Originally, I came to this place this time, I came to break up with Du Runjian, but I also came to such a remote place for you. But when I walked into the ward and saw you with the girl in the car, I knew it was too late. ”

Yehena drank another glass of vodka. He said to me, "From tonight onwards, it's a complete end between us."

I said to Yehna, "We never had a beginning, and there was an end."

"Maybe that's how you see it." Yehena said: "But for me, it has started since the first time you handed me the umbrella, since the first time you sent me back to the door of the mound, since you were almost killed by the fat man and a few of them, I have always had a heart in my heart that you love me, you don't know how many times I have cried for you over the years, I have been waiting for you, even if you have an active confession, I will not be with the fat man." I'm with the fat man, you're gone by my side, and you feel like I don't need your protection anymore. You don't have the jealousy that a man should have. You don't want to take me out of his hands and back into yours. You're gone. I don't mean anything to your stimulation. If I were just a person you could entrust to your brother and friend, how would you say you loved me? So I've always wanted to prove if you really love me and really care about me. If you don't love, why do you want to die to protect me? If you talk about love, why don't you dare to be brave enough to have me? Tonight, I want to show you this because I still have a little illusion about you. But not at this point. Tonight, I want you to know that what I have done to you is not unaware, but that my heart has been broken by you again and again. Yes, I took advantage of the fat man, why didn't I take advantage of him, he took possession of me, I have to get back a little bit of the subsidy. Otherwise, how can I comfort my hurt? Speaking of which, you are worse than the fat man, and the fat man will do anything to get me. But you just watched from afar as I was snatched away. So, in the end, there is only one reason, in fact, you don't love me, and you haven't loved me. But I still have to thank you for the protection you have done for me. ”

Yehena was about to drink again, and I pressed the glass in front of her.

"Death of drunkenness is the best outcome of the night," Yehena said.

I was drunk on my back and Yehena couldn't get to the Wasa Mansion, and Yehena said, "It's good that you can carry me for the rest of your life."

I carried Yehena back to the Mansion.

At the gate of the Resa Mansion, Yehena said to me, "Originally, I wanted to kiss you, but it was not my first kiss, so I didn't kiss you."

I was a little confused, as if I had done something wrong. The fat man also did something wrong. On the contrary, Yehena is the right person, the one who has been wronged. is worthy of being the daughter of a diplomat, not to mention convincing a man, it is no problem to convince a country. Although it is difficult to say the merits of many things in the world, such as love, it does not mean that there is no right and wrong. If everything is ambiguous, it is in the spring asking why the flowers do not bloom, in the winter asking why the sky does not snow, and in the river why the water does not flow backwards. It would have been absurd for a person to put all the blame on someone else without asking.

When Yehena needs to take advantage of the fat man, you use the so-called in the name of love. This time something happened to the Du family, and you said that the gentleman did not stand under the dangerous wall, and said that he would break up. You always have cards in your hand, and others have no cards to play. Then you said, "I didn't have the courage to love you." All of a sudden, I don't even feel like I'm a man. The reality is that you're toying with other people. If love is really a game of this kind of play, then what's the difference with trading? Maybe in Yehna's world, love is originally a transaction, so is the love that can be traded love? If this is the case, Ah Yue should have asked me first when he helped me stop the mudslide coming down from the landslide, if you love me, I will help you stop death, if you don't love me, I will let you die.

If a person hurts someone else and still has such a heartfelt word, feels that it should be, and is justified in hurting, then I will grieve for this person. If a person has enough reasons to hurt a person, if a person has enough reasons to deceive a person, if a person has a sufficient premise of justice but uses enough evil means to kill a person, then this person is already evil. Yehena still felt that she was the one who was hurt. If all the women in the world are like Yehena, then there should be no more love in the world. If all the women in the world are like Yehna, then there should be a final funeral for love.

When Ye Hena was handed over to Song Zhiqiu and Xia Tingquan, Song Zhiqiu said to me: "We will leave with Ye Hena tomorrow, and we will have a good care on the way, look at you, Xia Tingquan and I feel that it is not appropriate for us to break up and make a relationship now, I want to see it." What love? It's a terrible thing. ”

I said to Song Zhiqiu and Xia Tingquan, "It's okay." I'll wait for Ah Yue's illness to get better, and I'll go back to Beijing soon. ”

Song Zhiqiu said to me with concern: "Are you suitable for this Ah Yue?" I don't think it's reliable no matter how you look at it. ”

Xia Tingquan said, "I think so too."

I said to them, "I have no score in my heart." But someone saved my life, and I patted my ass and left? I know you care about me. This kind of thing can only be watched while walking. Take care of Yehena, and I'll see you off tomorrow morning. ”

At the door of the Resa Mansion, Yehena rushed out and grabbed me with a drunken body, and Yehena said to me, "No matter how much I show my heart, you won't believe it?" When I came out this time, I decided before that I must break up with Du Runjian. But you all treat me like an enemy. ”

I said to Yehna, "I don't."

Yehena said to me: "So many people in the world can break up, why can't I break up Yehena?" It's as if I became a rotten person and became Pan Jinlian when I broke up. Everyone has the right to love, why can't I, Yehena? ”

I said to Yehna, "Actually, it doesn't make sense to say that anymore. I don't think you need to care what other people think of it. What others think it works? I'm also sure you don't care what other people think. ”

Yehena said to me: "I don't care what other people think, if I care about me, I won't break up, but I care what you think." I'm doing it for you. ”

I said to Yehna, "Does it still make sense to say this now?"

Yehena said to me, "I think it makes sense. You can also not care. But I have to. I would like to respond to your efforts over the years. I must show my heart that I love you, and as for whether you care or not, it's your business. I don't care about other people's accusations, but if I don't make it clear to you, I will feel like I owe you for the rest of my life. ”

I said to Yehna, "You don't owe me, it's you who think so." You really don't owe me anything, a person to do what he wants to do and is willing to do, it has nothing to do with owing. If you want to say that you owe in life, then you owe too much, and the sunshine gives us so much warmth, don't we owe the sunshine? The earth has given us so much fruit, and we don't owe it to it? ”

Yehena said to me, "Don't you understand my heart? The reason why I am so ruthless to Du Runjian is because I don't want to drag it out any longer, and I have to show you that I love you. I don't want to drag it out for a second. If you can understand my heart, then I don't care if others say I'm ruthless, or how much infamy I bear. Just wanted to tell you what I've wanted to say to you over the years. ”

I looked at Yehena and couldn't find words.

Yehena said to me: "I still want to say to you, is it possible for you and Ah Yue?" Is it realistic? ”

I said to Yehna, "How many possibilities are possible in the world?" How much reality is reality? Do you think it's better to know that you can love without trying? Or do you know that you can't love and work hard? ”

Yehena said, "You're blaming me."

I said to Yehna: "I don't blame. I didn't stop my efforts from elementary school to high school until you threw yourself into the arms of fat people, and I knew it was impossible between us because it was just my wishful thinking. I was with Ah Yue, and I knew that it might be impossible, but I still didn't stop my efforts. That's how I'm different from you. I never thought about or weighed the question of getting or not getting, it was just out of my own heart that I was willing to do. Dreams are dreams because they are dreams. If you work hard, you can get it, then what is the disappointment in this world? ”

Yehena said to me, "You're still blaming me."

I said to Yehna: "I really don't blame you. What reason do I have to blame you? ”

Yehena said to me: "Okay, then I haven't stopped my efforts, it's your business to accept or not, I have to get you, you are mentally prepared, I will do whatever it takes."

I said to Yehena, "You're making fun of me again, am I worth your effort?"

Ye Hena said to me: "If it is impossible for you and I to be together, then it is even more impossible for you and that Ah Yue to be together."

I said to Yehena: "There seem to be infinite possibilities in our lives, but in reality, there is no possibility at all, just as we like comedy, but in fact there are too many tragedies that need comedy to dilute, not that we like to laugh, but too much crying that needs to be diluted by laughter."

Yehena said to me, "You are a musician, not a philosopher."

I said to Yehna, "I don't belong to any family, so I want to be an ordinary person, marry a daughter-in-law, and have children."

Yehena said to me, "Don't think about it, you won't be able to go to Wasa anyway, you can't come if you want to come."

I said to Yehena: "These days I wonder why the multi-part singing of the Hani people in the land of Wasa can penetrate the soul, but in fact they are not singing, but a kind of outpouring and expression, a kind of understanding of life, or a breath of life, so no performance can reach this ultimate state."

Yehena said to me, "Why can't you see my sorrow? Do you have to die for you to see my true heart? ”

I said to Yehna: "Let's go to your America quickly, time can heal all wounds." ”

After sending Yehena back to the Resa Mansion again, I turned around and went to the hospital.

At the door of the caravan inn, I stopped again.

Walking into the Mabang Inn, I saw the old grandmother sitting in the patio, I think this old grandmother has a very familiar feeling, but we have never seen it, the old grandmother has a snow-white puppy next to her, the old grandmother called it Xiao Fei, Xiao Fei saw me, ran to my feet and licked me with his tongue. The old woman looked at me and said, "Young man, has your little lover been coaxed?" ”

I said to the old woman, "We are not lovers. Grandma, I'm a little confused and want to ask you. ”

The old grandmother said, "What do you ask, look at your appearance as a scholar." This inn, one of the advantages is that there are all kinds of passers-by, after a long time, I can guess what they do by looking at their appearance. When I was young, I went to Myitkyina, Myanmar, and Bangkok, and did business, and then I guarded this house, and I haven't seen much of the world, so you probably want to ask a question about loving someone. To be honest, I really can't answer you, because, I haven't found the answer yet, love someone, perhaps, there is no answer in the first place. ”

I said to the old woman, "I mean, I came to Wasa and knew that there were many old people like you, who knew that the person who was waiting for him would not come back at all, or would not come back at all, but why should I wait?" ”

The old woman asked me in turn, "Young man, then can you tell me, why don't you wait?" ”

I said to the old grandmother, "A fruitless wait will not lead to anything." ”

The old grandmother said, "Young man, wait, isn't that the result?" Time can answer all our questions. ”

I still don't understand that the old grandmother's love is so simple, but our so-called love is extremely complicated. Does love become complicated by the years?

The old grandmother said, "Do you want to drink some Pu'er tea?" ”

I said, "If I don't drink it, I still have to go to the hospital." Grandma, do you remember the name and appearance of the person you were waiting for? ”

The old grandmother said, "How can you not remember? To live is to remember his name and appearance, and there is only this little thought left. He is the most handsome man in the world, tall and tall, with a red mole in his dark eyebrows, he can make two guns, and his business has been done in more than ten countries next to him, his company Yunyun Tin Industry Co., Ltd. is in an old place, he is the boss, I have forgotten everything, and I will not forget his name, his name is Zhang Mingyuan. ”

Zhang Mingyuan? How does the name feel so familiar.

I've seen the life of my grandfather Huang Kexing, he had a name of Zhang Mingyuan when he was working underground, he did be the chairman of the Dian Yun Tin Company, his face has no obvious features, but the red mole in his dark eyebrows is his only mark. If this Zhang Mingyuan is my grandfather Huang Buxing, how did he become this old grandmother's man? Time became mysterious in an instant. I said to the old grandmother: Is there any other name for the person who loves you? ”

The old woman said, "How can there be any other name?" Zhang Mingyuan, he can only be called by this name, there can only be one Zhang Mingyuan in this world. ”

I said to my grandmother, "Do you have any children?" ”

The old grandmother said, "How could it not be? Of course. A son and a daughter were taken away by him, and what I hate most about him is that if he doesn't come back, forget it, he should always leave the child to me. ”

I said to the old grandmother, "Do you still hate it now?" ”

The old grandmother said: "I don't hate it for a long time, I can't even think about it." ”

I said, "Grandma, can you tell me your name?" ”

The old grandmother said, "The people of Tsusa call me Ami. Alas, if I had grandchildren, I would be as old as you. Wrong. ”

If Zhang Mingyuan is Huang Buxing, then this old grandmother is the red face of my grandfather Huang Buxing, then where did my father Huang Weiguo come from? Who is my father Huang Weiguo's mother? Is it C or is it the grandma in front of you? Who is my father's real mother? Who is my real grandmother? Who should I be?