In the spring of 1983, I received another call from my mother in Huisa, who said, "Hurry up and go back to Beijing." After saying that, he hung up the phone.

In the hospital, Ah Yue said to Ah Suo, Zijin can stay for me. ”

Ah Suo said to Ah Yue: "Sister, what is he doing here?" To be honest, I like him too. But we all have to face reality. What can he do in Desa if he stays? He's about to graduate, and you told me that Yehena talked to you about his family, and as far as I know, several of them have not simple family backgrounds, and since your accident, there has been a hard notice that if they go to the countryside, they must send people from the public security to follow, doesn't that explain the problem? What my brother can tell you is, let's not talk about the fact that there is a classmate Yehena who is chasing after him for the time being, and not saying whether his family can accept you, if he gives up his studies on a whim now for your so-called love, does my sister think it is appropriate to do this? Brother understands you, originally for us Yiche people, as long as love is enough, there is no need to think too much, but if you really like him, are you willing to do it yourself? Among their classmates who came this time, he was the most low-key and the most understanding, and with his brother's understanding of the Beijingers he received, the more low-key they were, the more reluctant they were to let people know their background. We don't have to guess these, and we don't have to guess, our family doesn't want to climb a wealthy family, our family still understands some political things, didn't the old man of Du Runjian's family say that something happened? Today is a wealthy family, but tomorrow? We don't have to think about it. What my brother wants to say is, if he is a member of that family, do you think he can come if he wants to? Even if he doesn't care about it, what can you do after you talk about love? Do you do business with our family? Is he a man who can do business? What do you do without doing business? What can he do in Zosa? What can you do in Zosa? What do you feed your love with?

Ah Yue said to Ah Suo: "Brother, don't say so much why, is it okay?" I want you to tell me what to do? If Ah Yue doesn't understand the difficulty of all this, I ask my brother what are you doing? ”

Ah Suo said to Ah Yue: "My brother doesn't know either."

Ah Yue said to Ah Suo: "Can you help me think of a solution?" One will do. ”

Ah Suo said to Ah Yue, "Do you want to hear the truth?"

Ah Yue said to Ah Suo, "Hurry up."

"There is no way," said Aso. If there is, there is only one, let him go, as if nothing had happened between you. ”

Ah Yue said to Ah Suo: "No, I can't do it." ”

Ah Suo said to Ah Yue: "Sister, can't you see that he is a person with a great future? He came to Desa for you, don't you think you ruined him? At that point, it's too late for you to regret it. My brother doesn't want to stop you from liking him, it's because you like him that you have to think about him. ”

Ah Yue said to Ah Suo: "Actually, my brother understands all this, but it really hurts without him." I don't even feel real myself. For a person who has only known each other for ten days and a half months, there will be such reluctance. He and that Yehena have been for many years, and nothing has come of it, what will be the result of our acquaintance of ten days and a half months? I couldn't believe it myself. That's why I talked to my brother. I thought to myself, he liked me because I was instinctively grateful for his protection that night? Or do you really like me for no reason? I can't even say it myself. But from the day we met on the street, I felt that we were so familiar, and that night in his arms was so warm. Is it all an illusion or an illusion? Is there really a past life? Or that we are already familiar with it in our previous lives, but we have agreed to meet in this life in Huisa, and only in legends can there be such an incredible story. So, so I don't want to let go. Therefore, my sister just wants to take one step at a time, and if one day I really can't go on, then I will accept my fate, otherwise I am really unwilling. ”

Ah Suo said to Ah Yue: "My brother understands that it is indeed not easy to meet someone. Brother wants you to find a real life, not cloud-like unknowable love and endless waiting. ”

Ah Yue said to Ah Suo: "Brother, Ah Yue still wants to gamble, if you don't bet, you won't know what the hole cards are."

Ah Suo said to Ah Yue: "No matter what my sister does, my brother is supportive, you are my sister."

Ah Yue said coquettishly to Ah Suo: "It's better to be a brother."

Ah Suo said to Ah Yue: "What is good, the most is to listen to you cry when you lose the bet." ”

In the spring of 1983, my classmates all left one after another, and during the time I stayed, I spent almost all of my time in the hospital with Ah Yue. Ah Yue always asked me to hold her and hug me like a child.

Ah Yue said to me, "I don't want you to leave me."

I said to Ah Yue, "Didn't I tell you how many times? I'm not leaving, I'm with you.

Ah Yue said to me, "But I think I'm too selfish."

I said to Ah Yue, "It's a little selfish, but I like this kind of selfishness, and God forgives this kind of selfishness."

Ah Yue said to me, "But I thought about it, what can you do in Huisa? What you like is music, you still have your career, you belong to Beijing, what can you do when you come to Zosa? You're not a businessman, you can't do anything but music, and even if no one can stop you from coming to the city, you're not a part of the city. We fell in love, we got married, and then we had children, and then you became a Zosa, and if you could really do that, wouldn't that ruin you? ”

I said to Ah Yue, "Why is it ruined? In this world, whether it is money or power, including any music, these things can be obtained through hard work, but there is only one thing that cannot be obtained through hard work, and that is love. Who knows that love is there, and then tells yourself, sets a goal for yourself, and then says that by working hard I want to get it. Why is it that the world can give a precise definition of money, power, music, and all sorts of things, but no one has made love clear? Because it's not clear. It's like the mountains standing there, you can explain clearly, but can you explain the clouds on the mountains that seem to exist but can never be touched? Love is the clouds on those mountains, which cannot be defined. I have encountered my good fortune, what does it have to do with what to destroy or not? ”

Ah Yue said to me: "I am indeed a layman, and I have learned to calculate and bargain with my father, and when faced with a matter, I will always judge whether it is worth it or not by the price. In our current situation, you may win love but lose your life, in other words, you may lose everything if you marry me. You won't win this deal with me. ”

I said to Ah Yue: "All people will calculate like this, so they can't meet love, and when they do, they are also scared away by calculations, because love is not in calculations."

Ah Yue said to me: "What you say is naturally true, I will tell you to let you have a psychological preparation."

I said to Ah Yue: "If I meet you, it will be a loss, I will admit it as a loss."

Ah Yue said to me: "If I can really marry you, it will be the greatest blessing I have received in this world."

I said to Ah Yue, "I think so too. Falling in love is the effort of two people, so it is called love. Just one person does not exist in love. So my classmate Yehena and I are not only classmates but also at the same table, so close that we can feel each other's breath, but our efforts are so far away. So she's just a dream, and you're the reality in front of my eyes. ”

Ah Yue said to me, "If only you were destined and had to be given to me by God."

I said to Ah Yue: "Nothing in the world is destined and necessary. God gave it to you, did you reach out and take it? I started sending Yehena home in the first grade of primary school, and I persevered for more than ten years, starting from my teenage years, I have worked hard. It is one thing for God to give or not to give, and if you work hard, you will not regret it. ”

Ah Yue said to me, "You want me to work hard with you?"

I said to Ah Yue: "Of course, I have never heard of that person giving birth to a child on his own."

Ah Yue pinched my right hand with her left hand and said to me, "You are laughing again." smiled sweetly and said, if one day I really become your woman, then I will definitely have a bunch of children with you. ”

I said to Ah Yue, "You treat me like a breeding dog, you want to be tired to death." ”

Ah Yue hugged my neck in my arms, kissed my face and said, "I just want to treat you as my breeding dog, I don't know if there is this opportunity." You like me, I can go with you. We Yiche women can die for love. But I still want you to go back to study hard, finish your studies, and do your career. I can wait for you. Waiting for you. I like you, even if I don't get married, I think of you as my man. I'm ready, I'll open an inn called 'Waiting for You' in Huisa, and when you are my blessing, I can't wait for you, and I don't blame you, which means that we have no fate. Wait until the heart dies. But I don't want you to come to Zosa now, I will work with you, as long as I am with you, whether it is Beijing or Quesa, anywhere in the world. If you want my heart or me, I can give it to you now, and I don't want you to make any promises, because I just love you, in fact, promises are some kind of exchange conditions that need to be reciprocated, I don't need to, I just said, just love you, life can be promised, what else can not be given? ”

I hugged Ah Yue tightly.

Ah Yue said, "You make it impossible for me to breathe."

I don't know what else I can say.

Ah Yue said to me: "It's just that tomorrow when you leave Huisa, my brother will send you, I can't send you." I can't, look at you, and leave in front of me. ”

I said to Ah Yue, "I don't want you to send me either." If you were in front of me when I left, I wouldn't be able to get out of the city. ”

In the spring of 1983, Aso sent me out of Essa

I felt like I had left heaven. It was as if the sun was shining behind me, but the road ahead of me was dark. I can't tell why I feel the way I feel. The jeep left the Desa Mansion, and I saw Ah Yue hiding behind the big banyan tree in the Resa Mansion, and I pretended not to see anything, and tears drifted into the wind at this time. I heard Ah Yue's cry. I asked Ah Su and them to stop the car, ran to the big banyan tree, and hugged the crying Ah Yue. I said to Ah Yue, "If you miss me, you can take a bite on my shoulder." ”

I know that every separation in life does not necessarily come together.

Ah Yue hugged me and said, "Ah Yue can't speak."

I said to Ah Yue, "Then lend me your shoulder." I stabbed my teeth into Yue's shoulder. Ah Yue hugged me tightly in the scream. I said to Ah Yue, 'Wait for me. Then, push Ah Yue away and run towards the jeep.

Sitting on the train from Kunming to Beijing, looking at the novel "Rose Dream" in his hand, I didn't see anything in my eyes except that they were Chinese characters. It was as if it was only my body sitting on the train, and my heart stayed in Huisa, by my Ah Yue's side.

Life is this running train, all the scenery is clearly in front of you, but in a blink of an eye, you are behind you, as if everything is in front of you, but in a blink of an eye, it seems that it has never happened. The sun and the moonlight of the Sa, the mountains and the sea of clouds, the terraces on the clouds and the multi-voice chanting of the Sasa people, the caravan on the post road, the caravan woman waiting for the man to come back, the girl Ah Yue, the mysterious Nima, the fried dragonfly, the complex ingredients and condiments of a bowl of rice noodles, the strange architectural style of the Sa, all of them, seems to be an absurd existence, if it does not exist, it seems to exist in the meantime, but in the blink of an eye, it becomes the scenery behind the train, It became a landscape behind me. Everything seems to be virtual, but at this moment it is only a few words and symbols. I think that dreams are a kind of reality, and reality is a kind of existence of dreams. In fact, in many cases, it is impossible to distinguish which part is a dream and which part is reality, maybe reality is a dream, and a dream is reality. The train is running non-stop, and reality is becoming a dreamscape, like a cloud that exists and does not exist on the mountains of Eusa. I'm scared, I'm scared that Zosa is there at all, I'm scared, Ah Yue becomes a real dreamscape. It's like the snow drifting in winter and the leaves fluttering in autumn, every year of the year, so much so that it feels like it has never happened. From Zosa to Beijing, Beijing becomes real. But from Beijing to Zosa, Beijing becomes virtual behind it, and Resa becomes real. So, what part of life is real? Isn't it true that a person's life on earth is like this? It's a running train, it's a running passerby. It becomes a dream scene step by step. Although life is a passerby, life is full of expectations because of concern, Wasa has become a part of my life because of Ah Yue's waiting, and Beijing has become a part of my life because of my concern for my father and mother. If there is no concern and expectation in life, how can spring flowers bloom or not? What about the leaves in autumn and not? I took the red rope that Ah Yue held me, as if there was still the temperature of Ah Yue's hand on the red rope, and the radio on the train rang out, "Passengers, Beijing West Railway Station has arrived, welcome everyone to Beijing." Beijing is the capital of the great motherland, the political and cultural center of our country, the oldest ancient capital in the world, with the world-famous Forbidden City and the Great Wall......"

No matter where you are in the world, if you don't have a home in this place, then you will always be just a passerby. In the same way, no matter where in the world, there is no woman waiting for you, then, for this place, you will always be just a passerby.

In 1983, there was a popular song in Beijing bars called "My Beijing Lover", the lyrics of which were available in different languages, English, French, Italian, and even Ukrainian, Japanese, Vietnamese, Burmese, etc., and it was written like this:

tonight

If you don't come

More people will come knocking on my window

When hugging each other

Who cares about saying goodbye?

When you hold it in the palm of your hand

Who cares about losing?

You don't appreciate me

Some people even appreciate my charm

You don't understand me

There are more people who please my heart

If it is not a seal of love

I just want to meet and not know each other

The hand of the world

Count you gentle

If you're just on my right

Don't come back when you go out tonight

Don't want you

I don't want you to be just my lover

Just want you to stop on my left

The right is just a one-night encounter

On the left, however, is the companion of a lifetime

tonight

You have to make the final decision

I didn't know it was written by Ah Yue.

As I was leaving Eusa, I received another call from my mother, who said, "Hurry up and go home, and maybe see your father again." "I was still immersed in the joy of getting along with Ah Yue, and my mother's words threw me into the darkness.