In this section, I would like to pay tribute to Mr. N. Kazantzakis, and if I can't copy it, I must copy it at least once...... Today, I have finally fulfilled some of the dreams of my youth

---------------------------------------------------

Because of happiness and amazement, Yun Chongbo's eyelids jumped endlessly. This is not the place of humiliation and sorrow, this is a great tree that leads from the earth to the sky. Spring has come, the whole tree is full of flowers, and at the tip of each branch, a small bird is singing...... And he himself - standing upright, leaning against the flowering tree, he raised his head and counted, one, two, three......

His eyes opened wide and burst through the circles, taking over the entire face. He didn't have to turn his head to see the whole world blooming with flowers. There was no wind, but the great tree of compassion sprinkled its flowers one by one on him, and he wondered desperately who and where he was in the midst of the chirping of birds. The sky suddenly spun and then condensed...... At this time, the sky broke dawn.

"Yun Gongzi, I'm home."

When the respectful Confucian bowed his waist and signaled, Yun Chongbo finally recognized that in front of him was Danshan, the place where he left more than two years ago.

…… He finally remembered how he had returned home.

In the sandwich between dreams and reality, between the hopes and disappointments that had accumulated for thousands of years, the clouds rushed to the waves, and he finally couldn't support it anymore, and he finally collapsed.

It seems that he just wants to destroy his belief in Taiping Dao, and when he said that he is "not an immortal", Zigong is not too much, and stops his attack, and even Xiao Wenshuang and He Lingbing are let go.

Of course, it was just "heard" news, and Yun Chongbo didn't have the courage to meet them, and he didn't know what he should say or what he could say after seeing them.

…… It's all gone, forever.

Under Zigong's arrangement, Yun Chongbo was sent back to Danshan according to his own requirements, and returned to the place where he was born and grew up, and with a little surprise, he found that his house was well maintained, and although the spring farming time had passed, the land had been carefully cultivated and was in an excellent state.

Even Yun Dongxian's bones have been transported back and buried in his own land, and every day, Yun Chongbo will pass by the grave when he carries farm tools on his shoulders and leads his cattle to the field.

After the splendor, it finally returned to the plain, with borrowed clothes, sang someone else's big play, although he was intoxicated, but after all, there was a day to wash his face and unload. Now Yun Chongbo, finally found peace and calm, every day, he wakes up at a fixed time, quietly goes to the field, busy, at dusk, and other farmers return, although there is no other person in the family, but has always had a good popularity, there will always be enthusiastic neighbors, help him sew clothes, and help him cook the food, of course, every time, Yun Chongbo will also use a bundle of firewood or a few game to express gratitude.

But this kind of life can not last long after all, the second year after returning to Danshan, under the agreement of the old people in the village, Yun Chongbo married, is a woman from the neighboring village, hard-working and capable, kind and obedient, get up early every day, fast hands and feet, clean up the house, and feed the chickens, raise pigs, which also further improves the life of the family.

In the third year, Yun Chongbo had his first child, and for this reason, he led the cattle farther away and opened up a lot of wasteland, although it was very hard, but it could not tire him.

…… Sometimes, he would stand on the ground with a hoe, give birth to some inexplicable melancholy, and see some trance pictures, there, there are wind and clouds, frost and snow falling, drizzle and light rainbows, flashing electric light, and roaring thunder.

But after that, he would always shake his head, spit in the palm of his hand, raise his hoe high, and continue to focus on the ground beneath his feet. Or, it is to whip the old cow a few times to remind it not to slack off like its owner.

…… It's all gone, forever.

He never left the village again, and although he knew that the skins, teeth, and bones he had caught would fetch a better price in the town, Yun Chongbo always preferred to wait, waiting for the merchants who would sometimes come, but the price would be very low.

Sometimes, there would be news coming in from outside, about the war that was sweeping through the states, about revolt and repression, about blood, a lot of blood...... These news often become the talk of the villagers, but Yun Chongbo never participates in these discussions, he always sits quietly and listens, and if someone asks him for his opinion, he just smiles.

Sometimes, we speak of the brave warriors and generals, of their glorious falls, of their deaths, and of their eternal life. But at the same time, there will also be people who laugh and say that they don't want to die, they don't want to live forever.

"Let me continue to live in the world, and when I have lived enough, I will be reduced to ashes."

At this time, Yun Chongbo still won't express his opinion, even if he is asked by others, he will only smile and move himself to the periphery.

…… Time flies, and many years have passed in a blink of an eye. In Yun Chongbo's home, children are multiplying, and his wife seems to be competing with her neighbors to see who has the most dolls. The head of the family spends his days in the fields fighting against strong winds, gophers, etc., turning water and light into all kinds of food. When he came home in the evening, exhausted, his wife came to wash his feet, wash his legs, make a fire, set the table, and welcome him with open arms.

One night, his wife had a nightmare. She got up, walked to the yard and saw the washed Yun Chongbo, her palm pressed on the ground, and she sat there quietly. She sat down beside him and began to cry.

"The moonlight was so bright all night that I couldn't sleep, but when it was dawn I finally fell asleep because I saw a bird...... No, not a bird, it has eleven wings, only the first one on the left is missing, it flies over, flutters quietly around me, it pecks the bird into my ear and says...... No, I can't go on! ”

Holding his wife tightly and holding her in his arms, Yun Chongbo suddenly found that his voice was trembling.

"Take courage, what did it say?"

"A dream." She burst into tears.

Yun Chongbo shuddered, "A dream? ”

"Yes, it's all a dream."

"What do you mean by 'all this'?"

"You, I, children...... All of this is a lie...... Help me! ”

She rolled to the ground and twitched for a while, her body suddenly stiffening. After a while, he woke up and saw Yun Chongbo, and grabbed his feet tightly.

Yun Chongbo bent down and lifted her head, her lips twitching.

"What are you going to say, I can't hear clearly?"

His wife, with all her strength, muttered, "And you ......"

"What's wrong with me, say?"

“…… You're already dead! With that, she fell to the ground again and fainted.

Carrying his wife back to bed and watching her fall asleep again, Yun Chongbo opened the door and went to the field, feeling breathless.

（…… Why, why can't you let me go! ）

Of course I knew what it meant for a bird that was missing a wing, and of course I understood that it was supposed to be a dream projected onto me. Yun Chongbo felt depressed and confused, he strode and climbed a mountain quickly.

The grass was strewn with wildflowers, and the scent of grass emanated from the ground, and Yun Chongbo could see his house. The sky slowly brightened, and the usual smoke rose from the roof, and Yun Chongbo's heart felt relieved again, and he thought to himself, she was now squatting in front of the stove, caged by fire......

(The undead are dead...... That's none of my business, I, I'm Yun Chongbo. ）

The days passed, and one night, a strange, half-drunk traveler came. It was raining that day, and Yun Chongbo did not go down to work in the field, but he sat on the threshold, holding his two youngest children, and was playing with them.

The traveler stopped, glanced at Yun Chongbo with bad intentions, and laughed. "Hey," he stammered, "you're in luck!" There is a wife and a group of children, and the wife is the steward and also in charge of you, and you are in charge of everything, wood, oxen, and fields. But you should show your head, stick your nose out of your door, put your hands on your eyes to cover the sun, and see what is happening in the world...... Have you ever heard of Zigong, have you ever heard of the one called Zigong? Hopefully he won't come back! ”

Yun Chongbo recognized the half-drunk traveler, and he smiled, "Uncle, welcome!" Move a stool and sit down, don't go today! ”

Hua Shengrong sat down on the stool, holding the big bowl that had just been poured full of wine in both hands, "No one doesn't know me," with a cheeky smile, he said proudly, "Everyone has to deal with Qianmen - but don't get into other topics, I just asked you, have you heard the news of Zigong?" ”

"I can't remember." Yun Chongbo said, struggling to recall something vague. The two cold eyes, as dead as those of a vulture, laughed with a wicked ...... I can't think of anything else. It must have been a dream, the hoarfrost that appeared in my head, and as soon as the sun came out, it disappeared. …… But now you reminded me, uncle, and I remember, he tortured me enough. ”

"Well, he's crazy! Driven crazy by the living! ”

Yun Chongbo exclaimed: "Crazy?!" ”

"What's all the fuss about? He deserves it! It is said that he could not sleep, and often got up in the middle of the night, wandered around, could not rest, and his scalp was broken and bleeding. ”

"I remember...... Remember......" Yun Chongbo muttered, glancing at his children from time to time, who were sitting on his lap, listening intently.

Later, he drank and went to various hotels to buy drunken ...... Are you listening? ”

Yun Chongbo stared blankly at the ground and didn't answer, his wife looked at him worriedly, filled Hua Shengrong with wine, "Don't say it" she whispered, "Let's go!" ”

But Hua Shengrong got angry, "Why don't you let me say it?" Okay, I'll cut it short, by now, he's completely insane, so crazy that no one recognizes him. ”

Yun Chongbo suddenly felt a tingling pain in his temple, as if he had been pricked hard.

His wife, seeing that he was pale, hurried over and helped him into the house. He hurried out again, and after a while, came in with a warm soup.

"He's gone." "He was completely drunk and didn't know what he was talking about," she said. ”

"Sleep." She said, "Sleep." ”

Yun Chongbo closed his eyes, his lips relaxed, the wrinkles on his forehead disappeared, he fell asleep, and when he woke up the next day, he felt happy and relieved again, as if he had escaped from danger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another long time has passed.

One afternoon, Yun Chongbo came back early, because he wanted to rebuild the chicken coop at home, and just as he was busy, his wife rushed in. "Somebody is looking for our home, and his leg is about to break. But I don't like the way this man looks, and I'm going to close the door and not let him in. ”

Yun Chongbo looked at her angrily. "What's there to be afraid of?" He asked. "Open the door!"

By this time, footsteps could be heard on the road outside, and the footsteps stopped, and someone knocked on the door.

"Who?" Yun Chongbo ran to the courtyard and asked.

A dumb voice replied loudly: "For the peace!" Open the door! ”

The door opened, and a stocky hunchback stood at the door, his hair had fallen out, his eyes were spewing flames, and the woman who had come to see him was so frightened that she retreated.

"Stand up!" He opened his arms and said, "I have brought you the truth!" ”

Yun Chongbo looked at him, intending to remember that he had seen this person there, and his spine shuddered for a while. "Who are you, and where do I seem to have seen you? When it's time to sell something? Have you ever passed by this village? ”

"I am a sinner! But now, it's no more! ”

“…… You are a member of Confucianism, you are a grandson?! Finally recognized the person, and Yun Chongbo was also frightened.

"I used to be, but now I am no more, I have seen the truth, I understand, peace is the only truth, and the dogma of Confucianism cannot save the world...... I've been saved, and now, I'm going to save more people, yes, I'm going to save the world! ”

"Young man," said Yun Chongbo, I have returned from where you are going. I remember, when I was as young as you, I also went out, and I also want to save the world, who didn't dream of saving the world when they were young? I walked everywhere, shouting 'Taiping' all the way, and so many others, and I don't think about them anymore now. They didn't need me, they cursed me, they hated me, I almost died. Young people, you will meet the same result! ”

The more he spoke, the more agitated he became, and his wife looked at him uneasily. "Don't say it, let him go."

But Gongsun was unmoved and sighed deeply.

"That's because you didn't really see the greatness of Taiping, you didn't feel the great light of the immortals!"

"I used to be a loyal believer in Confucianism, following my master, looking for and eliminating one Taiping follower after another, we got rid of everyone we could, but one day, a lightning bolt knocked me to the ground! I heard a reproach from the bottom of my head: 'Gongsun, Gongsun, why are you chasing me, what am I sorry for you?' ’”

"'Who are you?' I shouted. ”

"'I am the one you want to chase and destroy, I am the immortal!' He awakened me, and I became his follower ever since, spreading his ...... Why are you looking at me like that? Your eyes bulge out, why are you so upset? ”

Yun Chongbo clenched his fists, foaming at the corners of his mouth, and walked around the yard. He saw the pale-faced woman standing in the corner, and he saw the children screaming and pulling their mother. "Go inside," he commanded them, "don't come and disturb us! The anxious wife came up to talk to him, but he angrily pushed him away. I've had enough, I'm going to talk! ”

He turned to face Gongsun. "What immortal?" He asked aloud with a trembling voice.

"You must have heard of this man, he is immortal, he is the son of God, he came down to earth, in order to lead us to Taiping, my teacher once seized him and destroyed him, but he died and rose again on the third day, and continued to lead the cause of Taiping, yes, death was conquered!"

"You saw this immortal, this resurrected one?" Yun Chongbo asked loudly, "You saw him with your own eyes?" What does he look like! ”

"A lightning bolt - a talking lightning."

"You're lying!"

"The Taiping Daoists saw him, and on the third day after his death, they were on their way back to the south, when suddenly he came and stood in the midst of them."

"You're lying!"

But Gongsun puffed up. His eyes sparkled, and his hunched back straightened. "He was resurrected twice, first at the hands of traitors and the second at the hands of enemies. He is not a man, he is the Son of God! ”

"You're lying! You're lying! ”

Gongsun was surprised, but still did not waver, Yun Chongbo's wife walked by, bolted the door, and the neighbors heard the shouting, opened half the door, and pricked up their ears outside. Yun Chongbo was full of anger, and he couldn't calm down anymore, he approached Gongsun, grabbed his shoulder, and shook him vigorously.

"You're lying! You're lying! He exclaimed, "I am just walking in the sea!" I have never died, nor have I ever been resurrected! I'm not God, I'm human - just like everyone else! Are you going to use this kind of lie to save the world? ”

"You, you?" Gongsun was confused, he muttered.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Yun Chongbo shouted, "I am the immortal, I am the sea, I am a human being, I am a human being!" It was your master who knocked me down, it was your master who sent me back here! You don't know anything, you're a liar who has been deceived! ”

"Please don't say it! Please don't say it! Gongsun shouted, pressing his temples with both hands, as if he was afraid that it would burst.

But how could Yun Chongbo not say the words that were held in his heart? He felt as if these words had been in his chest for years. Now that his heart had been opened, the words poured out and could no longer be contained, and his wife grabbed him by the arm, "Say no more! Stop it! But Yun Chongbo pushed her aside and turned to face Gongsun.

"Yes! Yes! I'm going to tell everything. That's how I'm better! I should have suffered in my waking hours, in my dreams! I escaped, I came here, I lived an ordinary life, I ate, I drank, I worked, I had children, the fire was extinguished, there were only quiet ashes, I lay by the fire, my wife cooked for our children, I thought I was going to save the world, but in the end I broke down here. That's it - I have nothing to complain about, I'm human, I tell you, not God...... Stop promoting your lies, I'll stand up and declare the truth! ”

Now it's Gongsun's turn to explode. "Shut your shameless mouth!" He shouted and rushed towards the clouds. "Don't say it, or everyone will be scared to death when they hear you. In this rotten, unjust, impoverished world, the undead who come back from the dead are a real person, the only consolation for people, true or false...... I don't care, it's enough to bring 'peace'! ”

"Is it peace brought about by false words?"

"What is the 'truth'? What is a 'lie'? I don't care about it! I don't care if you're immortal or not, I don't care if you come back from the dead, I don't care if you're sitting in your poor little village, if everyone needs you to die, I'll kill you with my own hands, whether you want to or not. If necessary, you will also be resurrected, and I will bear witness to you...... All of this is a part of peace and is indispensable. Countless eyes will look at you from afar, sacrifice you, miss you, and then, the resurrected you, will give them motivation and bring peace to the world! ”

"It's not true, I'm going to stand up and shout, I'm not dead, I'm not resurrected...... What are you laughing at? ”

"Shout it, I'm not afraid of you. I don't even need you anymore. The great river you dug has flowed, and who can control it? Let me tell you, just now, I had a flash of thought, I want to kill you, I feel that you have revealed your identity, and I feel that you have deceived countless Taoists. But calm down right away? Why are you shouting? I asked myself. The first group of Taiping Taoists you meet will catch you, beat you like a liar, or even kill you! ”

"You're laughing like a liar!"

"No, like a loyal disciple. Whether you like it or not, I want to be your disciple, to propagate you according to my ideas, to shape you, your life, your teachings, your sacrifice and your resurrection, you are indeed not the son of God, but you are not the son of man, we are the loyal beings of the Taiping Dao. ”

"No, no!"

"Who asked you? I don't need your permission. Why are you interfering in my business? ”

Yun Chongbo sat in the courtyard exhausted, his head buried in his knees, he felt that he had no choice at all, how could he fight this person?

Gongsun stood in front of the defeated Yun Chongbo and said sarcastically: "How can the world rely on you to save you, the immortal?" What noble example do you have for the world to follow, and to save the world, it is up to us! ”

He looked around, and there was no one left. But...... In his eyes, the courtyard seemed to be a large square full of people, boundless, and he opened his arms as if he were preaching to the invisible people.

"Look! On one side is the kind and harmless farmer, Yun Chongbo, and on the other side is the disciple of the immortal, Gongsun. Choose, if you go with him, you will live a life of poverty, a lifetime of toil, live like dogs and chickens and die - leaving nothing behind. If you come with me, there will be peace, great peace! Choose, let's go on the road, on one side is the road of clouds and waves, and on the other side is the road of the undead! ”

He was enchanted, his eagle-like eyes swept over the invisible masses, his blood boiling. He turned to see Yun Chongbo, who was standing against the wall, his mouth stammering in fright.

"For the undead...... It's not you, Yun Chongbo, it's the real undead, our undead! ”

Yun Chongbo couldn't control himself anymore, he curled up, unable to face this person.

Gongsun stopped preaching at this point, and the few sparse hairs on his bald top were still steaming, and he patted off the dust and turned to walk out of the courtyard.

"I've dusted you off." He said to Yun Chongbo, who was standing in the middle of the courtyard in shame, "Farewell, I wish you good food and a peaceful old age...... If it has not been plundered and oppressed by the government or landlords. ”

"Don't interfere with my work, if you come, you're done! Do you hear that? You're done! But make no mistake, I'm glad to see you, I've liberated myself, that's exactly what I want, get rid of you, yes, we've got rid of you, and now, we can finally serve wholeheartedly and work for peace! Don't! ”

With that, he pulled the latch and stepped onto the road.

"The immortal is for the peace of everyone, you can die, but the immortal will not die, as long as there is still a person who longs for peace, the immortal will not die!"

"He's in such a hurry!" Yun Chongbo's wife said, looking at his back with angry eyes. At this time, Yun Chongbo had crossed the threshold, full of longing and hope as he watched the wild Daoist rush into the distance, and the terrible memories and longings that he had completely forgotten now flooded back in his heart.

The wife was terrified and grabbed him by the arm. "What are you looking at, come in."

But Yun Chongbo was silent, his face was pale, and he twisted his arm and broke free from his wife's hand.

"Leave me alone!" Yun Chongbo roared, his eyes still staring at Gongsun's gradually distant figure, and at this time, it was about to disappear.

"Are you going with him?"

"Leave me alone!" Yun Chongbo roared again, his teeth chattering, and he suddenly felt a chill. He stood in the middle of the road, his face pale as paper, and suddenly his eyelids drooped, and he quietly and gently fell down the road.

He felt himself lifted up and placed on the bed, felt cold water sprinkled on his head, and he opened his eyes to see his wife and children, and a smile appeared on his face.

"Take good care of me," he said, "don't let me go, I'm doing well here." ”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yun Chongbo sat in the courtyard, his white beard fluttering on his bare chest. It was a holiday, and he took a shower and changed into clean clothes. The door was closed, and there was no one else around him, his wife, children, and grandchildren were all laughing and laughing behind the house.

Yun Chongbo glanced at his hands, they were already chubby, full of calluses, and their muscles were exposed. He shook his gray-haired, rough face and sighed.

"Time flies so fast, I can't believe I'm so old! And the trees in the yard, and the stone steps I stepped on, were so old. ”

He closed his eyes in fear, feeling like water flowing down from the source of the heights—his mind—to his neck, chest, stomach, and thighs. It finally flowed through the soles of his feet.

Since Gongsun left, Yun Chongbo has never had insomnia or nightmares again. He never left the village again, lived quietly, farming, repairing or expanding his house, and having children.

Sometimes, news comes in from outside, famine, plague, war, and there is always some bad news, some say that the whole city has been washed in the blood of the Taiping bandits, some say that the official army has broken the bandits and are appeasing the place, and some say that some families have taken advantage of the time to rise up and start a series of bloody battles...... In the end, it is often added with the sigh of "It's all a demon made of evil ......".

But there are also some other news, the same bad news, saying that the people in a certain place could not bear it anymore, and they raised the pole and voted for the Taiping Road, saying that "the officials are like combing", regardless of whether they are soldiers or people, and they are all washed away, and after the place where the army is broken, "the stones are over the knife and the thatch is too hot...... In the end, there are often "all such corrupt officials!" The swearing, more extreme, and even the "Dog Emperor!" But it's a lot less, and it generally doesn't resonate.

Sometimes, there will be people who have fled passing by, and sometimes, there will be followers of the Taiping Dao, some who have fled, and some who have launched the preaching, but usually, the government will soon chase them and catch them, or kill them.

At this time, Yun Chongbo always walked away quickly, or watched quietly for a while, he didn't speak or move, he didn't help the people of Taiping Dao, and he didn't help the government.

…… It's all gone, forever.

Screaming, crying, lamenting...... The horses neighed, the road was full of people running in groups, the clouds and waves with your eyes closed, you could clearly feel all this, the quiet family was just an illusion, and there were endless whirlpools and turbulences around it.

"The end is near."

In the haze, Yun Chongbo seemed to hear someone say this, and he suddenly felt happy and relieved, which was very strange.

Heavy footsteps came from the street, and the sound of panting, the sound of thick sticks knocking on the door. Yun Chongbo's wife ran out, grabbed the latch, and looked at him, "Should I open the door?" She was confused and afraid, "A voice told me, it's some old friends of yours. ”

"Old friends?"

"You'll see them!" There was a sudden terrible twitch on his face, and Yun Chongbo's wife let out a screaming sound and opened the door wide.

A group of people appeared at the door, their faces haggard, and they were completely unrecognizable. One by one, they fell into the courtyard, as if glued together, and they could not be separated.

Yun Chongbo took a step forward and stopped, he wanted to reach out to greet them, but he suddenly felt himself crushed by an unbearable resentment - resentment, anger and pity. He clenched his grip and waited. There was a stench of burnt wood, burnt hair, cracked wounds in the air. It's a foul smell.

Yun Chongbo took another step forward, "Who are you!?" ”

No one answered, it was just a piece of time that had been harvested