My spring of 1983 was the darkest spring, and at the same time the most brilliant one. To say that darkness is that I have met death, and to say that splendor is that I have met love. If Ah Yue doesn't wake up again, then I will always live in the dark. I said to Ah Yue: Ah Yue, I have said all the words of love for you, is it that the fate of meeting us is over, so why should I meet? Are we destined to have only one side? In that case, what is the point of our encounter? You can't bear to let me see you silent for the rest of your life? In these days, every day I called Ah Yue's name, repeating it over and over again, and I hoped she would hear her. This night is the same, I called to Ah Yue on the hospital bed over and over again, suddenly I heard a voice, a voice that seemed to come from heaven, said: "Don't shout, I heard it", I thought I was crazy about love, maybe I was already suffering from paranoia, because I was facing away from Ah Yue, and I heard a voice say: "Don't shout, I really heard", I felt Ah Yue's hand pulling the corner of my clothes, I grabbed Ah Yue's hand and suddenly turned around to see Ah Yue's eyes staring at me like starlight, I said to Ah Yue: Are you really awake? Ah Yue said: You keep arguing with me, can I not wake up? I picked up Ah Yue, came to the corridor of the ward, and shouted wildly: Doctor, doctor, come soon, come soon, my Ah Yue is awake, my Ah Yue is awake, you come quickly.

A couple of doctors came running over and said, "Are you crazy?" Such shouting and screaming affected the order of the hospital.

I said to the doctor who came: I'm not crazy, I'm really not crazy, my Ah Yue is really awake.

The doctor looked at Ah Yue, who I was holding, and said in surprise: I'm really awake, hurry up and put it on the hospital bed, we have to check it immediately.

After Ah Yue woke up, the doctor secretly said to me: "This can't but be said to be a miracle." But you're also rejoicing too soon. Patients may have results that you don't expect due to deep brain damage. How can I tell you? Well, it's that you have to be mentally prepared. The patient will slowly forget about you, in other words: he will slowly stop knowing you, and you will slowly become a stranger in her eyes. ”

I said to the doctor: How is that possible? Doesn't it look good?

The doctor said: Now it seems like this, I am just a doctor to advise you, so that in the future, when the problem comes, you will become at a loss.

I said to the doctor: Thank you, Ah Yue can wake up, I am already very satisfied. Even if this happens, I can accept it.

After the doctor left, I went back to the ward.

Ah Yue said to me: Do you know how many times you have called me yourself?

I said, "I don't know."

Ah Yue said to me: I counted it over and over again.

I said to Ah Yue: Can you hear every word I say?

Ah Yue said: Otherwise? I'm not dead, didn't the doctor say it? It's just a coma. Did you say too much to regret confessing?

I said to Ah Yue: I really have to find some new words in the future, and I almost finished what I wanted to say.

Ah Yue said: It doesn't matter, I don't mind, as long as you repeat what you said, I will already be very content.

I actually cried and said, "Oh, oh, oh, I'm really scared you won't wake up."

Ah Yue also cried, took my hand and said: Thank you, without your call, maybe I really wouldn't wake up, I was stopped by your call every step I took towards the darkness, so, so, I came back.

Aso ran in crying and said, "Sister, are you awake?" Sister, are you awake?

Ah Yue shouted and said, "Brother."

Asso hugged me and said, "Thank you, thank you." Then he said, "I'm going to prepare, and we're going to celebrate." Ah Yue will hand it over to you, my brother can rest assured. I went. Aso came in a hurry, and ran away in a hurry.

Ah Yue shouted at me and said, "Hey, hey, what are you thinking?"

I said to Ah Yue, "I'm thinking about you."

Ah Yue said to me, "You can't lie. One look at your face is thinking about your past girlfriend."

I said to Ah Yue, "Do you know how to read minds?"

Ah Yue said: "What kind of mind reading skills I know there is just a feeling." How can you really say that you really miss your past girlfriend? ”

I said to Ah Yue: "I have liked others, but I don't have a girlfriend."

Ah Yue said in disbelief: "How is it possible?"

I said to Ah Yue, "Why is it impossible? Do you think I'm a heartthrob? ”

Ah Yue said: "That's not what it means. I just feel like you're the kind of person who is very warm and reassuring. So, if you want to say that you haven't had a girlfriend, it's really hard to believe. Don't you see your classmates all working one-on-one? Still, I don't think it's right. It is said that your classmates are a couple, but the look in the eyes of the person named Yehena has an indescribable feeling when he looks at you. It can't be your first love, right? ”

I said to Ah Yue, "Didn't I confess to you?" I didn't have a first love. But like others".

Ah Yue seems to be very disappointed for me, alas, how can such a warm person not have a first love? Ah Yue squeezed my hand in her palm again and said, "In this way, you can treat me as your first love."

I didn't have a first love, and I haven't seen a girl confess so bluntly.

Ah Yue said to me, "If you like me, I can go with you."

I said to Yue, "But I'm just a student now."

Ah Yue said to me, "That's okay, aren't you graduating soon?"

I said to Ah Yue: "I still know how to support myself, what can I use to support you?"

Ah Yue said to me, "Why do I want you to feed me? I can feed myself. Didn't I tell you? When I was in Paris, I was singing at the Moulin Rouge. And I can also have a lot of things, I can plant seedlings in the field, and I can have children. I can go study abroad with you. If you want, you can also go to work in my father's company. Seeing that I didn't speak, Ah Yue continued: Actually, I know that you can't like me. We are so far away, we have only known each other for a few days, and in a few days you will go back to Beijing, which is your world, and you have nothing to do with this place or me. I've never confessed to anyone, and since the moment you appeared, I felt like the person I was looking for had appeared. I know you're leaving in a few days, and you'll probably never think of me again, but I still can't control myself. Just a few days, I'm not greedy, maybe just a few days, you will stay in my heart forever. Just these days, can you think of me as your woman? Of course, you can also refuse immediately, and if you refuse immediately, I will ask my brother to send me to Myanmar. Also, I just like you, but you must not feel like I'm pushing you."

I said to Ah Yue, "You're already pushing me."

Ah Yue looked at me with some worry and said, "So, did you refuse?"

I said to Ah Yue: "If a man rejects a woman who would rather use his life to protect her, then this man is not worthy of her liking."

Ah Yue said excitedly: "You agreed?" Ah Yue pulled down my head and whispered in my ear: "You have already kissed me, and then you have seen me again, you still don't like me like this, how can you say that I have the courage to live as a Yiche girl?"

I said to Ah Yue, "It's my honor that you can like me. Except for my grandmother and my mother, I have never been liked by girls, so you are my honor. I came to Resa this time, perhaps it was destined to meet you."

Ah Yue said to me, "Is this a confession?"

I said to Ah Yue, "I don't know, because I have never confessed."

Ah Yue and I said at the same time, "Why are we so familiar?" Then, at the same time, he covered his mouth. And at the same time we said, "Are we going too fast?" With that, we covered each other's mouths in horror at the same time.

Because it all seems unreasonable. At first sight, it seems that I have been waiting for a long time, and all the time in front of me is already a process, and thousands of red dust have passed, in fact, it is only for the moment when I rubbed shoulders. If there is a reasonable reason, then this reason should be in the previous life, or in the previous life of the previous life, all the waiting is for the meeting at this time. Otherwise, neither of us can explain it.

In Beijing, among all my classmates who went from primary school to university, Ye Hena and I were the only couple. Some students dispersed after graduating from elementary school, some students dispersed when they reached junior high school, and some students dispersed when they reached high school. For more than ten years, classmates have been reading the same textbook at the same table, and the students think we are a couple. From elementary school legends to universities, we still haven't had any stories.

Many years later, I came to the self-righteous conclusion that love doesn't need time. It's not love, even if it's eternal time, it's still not love.

Of course, in Huisa, Ah Yue and I were both horrified of the unexpected joy of this moment. It must be contrary to common sense, contrary to common sense. We all took this encounter as if we liked each other, and we couldn't believe that it was love. At least for me: that encounter has not had any story for many years, and the instant encounter, how dare you judge that it is love. Although we are honestly afraid, we don't care if it's love or not, we don't try or hide, and we don't want to miss this warm encounter. If Ah Yue doesn't come back from Myanmar, if I don't come to Huisa, if I don't meet Ah Yue on the street of Huisa, if I don't have Ah Yue to accompany me to Samaba, as long as there is any missing link, Ah Yue and I will miss out forever. Just as history does not happen if, the hand of time always arranges everything seamlessly, and in this way, it is fate. Therefore, every seemingly accidental encounter is actually a necessary encounter. Isn't that true of all lives?

Ah Yue looked at me and said, "You miss me, why don't you hug me?" Leave the later for later".

Yes, I have been a classmate of Yehena for many years and have not held hands once. Within a few days of meeting Ah Yue, I hugged her for a whole night in the middle of the night in the mountains, how much truth is there in the world?

I hugged Ah Yue.

A Yue said: "This is a very familiar hug, it doesn't feel strange at all, it seems like it has been hugged many years ago, in your arms, I feel calm, reassuring, and warm."

Just as Ah Yue and I were hugging each other, Ah Suo and Ye Hena came in.

I hurriedly let go of Ah Yue.

Asso said, "You guys?"

Yehena said in amazement: "Why are you hugging each other". After saying that, Yehena felt her gaffe and continued, "Look at what I said, why can't you hug each other?" I'm here to tell you that the school wants you to report on our situation in Eusa."

I said to Yehna, "I see". The air in the hospital room was a bit mixed.

Yehena said to herself, "I'd better go back first."

Asso came in and said, "Let's go out and talk for a while."

I got up and walked out of the room with Asso.

Ah Yue warned and threatened his brother Ah Suo, saying, "I like him." He wants to lose a hair, and I'll die for you."

Asso said as he walked: "We are the best brothers, you are cranky, and your brother will not eat people".

Aso and I went to the hospital garden.

Asso lit a cigarette for herself, as if to stabilize her emotions. After taking a few puffs of cigarettes, Ah Suo said to me, "Ah Yue really likes you."

I said to Asso, "Me too".

Aso's calm and sane voice suddenly turned to anger, saying, "I know you like her too. I can see that. But after you leave in a few days, what will Ah Yue do? ”

I said to Asso, "I love Ah Yue, but nothing happened to us."

Aso's voice raised again, and he said, "What do you think must happen for this to happen?" However, as soon as you leave, how do you let her live? ”

I said to Asso, "I can not leave."

Aso's words became warm, and he said, "Don't be so angry, this is not the way. Will Ah Yue agree? Ah Yue will promise you to give up yourself for her, and you don't even care about your own life to love her, how could she agree. ”

I said to Ah Suo, "Then I'll take Ah Yue away."

Asso said to me, "What to go, you are still a student." And will your family accept her? She is a Yiche girl who doesn't know Chinese characters. ”

I said to Asso: "It doesn't matter, we are a working family, as long as you don't dislike it, I will do the work at home."

Ah Suo said to me, "Can your family really accept Ah Yue?"

I said to So, "Why not?"

Ah Suo said to me: "Why don't you understand my words, okay, you like Ah Yue, you can marry Ah Yue, but can the people in your family accept Ah Yue?" Ah Yue, who doesn't know a single Chinese character, alas, it is impossible for you and Ah Yue to be together. ”

I said to Asso, "You mean to let me give up?"

"That's not what I meant," Aso said.

"That's for Ah Yue to give up," I asked Ah Suo.

"That's not what I meant," Aso said to me.

I said to Aso, "Then what do you mean?"

Ah Suo said: "I don't want to see that you, or Ah Yue, are hurt by likes because they like each other." If that's the result, then why don't you stop at the beginning? ”

I said to Aso, "Do you think this is buying fruit on the street, buying it if you want to, and pulling it down if you don't buy it?" Okay, I choose to give up, what about Ah Yue? What about your sister? Will she be able to give up? Do you think I don't have a long heart? I'm also afraid that a girl like her will be hurt. ”

Aso said to me, "Go as you please, and leave the rest to the future." You don't have much time left, do you still have to go to Samaba and Aza? ”

I said to Ah Suo: "If there is time, of course I still want to go, but Ah Yue is now living in the hospital, and Ah Yue is the most important thing." Also, I'm not in a hurry, because after graduation, I will come to Zosa, so I will have a lot of time to go to Samaba and Aza Township. ”

Asso said to me, "Don't be emotional, it's okay to be a passerby in the month and a half of the month, but it's not easy to stop here." You're a student at the National Conservatory, what are you doing here? What can you do here? Is it just with Ah Yue? Have you thought about it? Do two people hug each other every day? I speak straight, no matter what kind of liking I have, I want to eat, I want to dress, I want to have children, I want to earn money, I want to eat the fireworks in the world. No matter what kind of love you have, it must come to life."

I asked Asso, "Are you married?" ”

Aso said to me, "I haven't met the person I'm looking for yet."

I asked Asso, "If you were me, what would you do if you met such a girl who could die for you?"

Without even thinking about it, Asso said to me, "Of course I like it." You may meet the girl you want to find every day in your life, and you are lucky to meet it once.

I said to Asso, "That's what I want to hear."

Asso said to me, "But she's my sister." I was afraid to see the results that I didn't want to see as an older brother. Otherwise, what's the point of me talking to you so much. In fact, after talking to you for a long time, it is equivalent to saying nothing. Even if you give up first, I know my sister Ah Yue too well, a girl who likes it, and she will decide it. What else will he fear if he is not afraid of death? But I'm still worried, didn't the doctor say it? Because of the sequelae of brain injury, you may slowly not know you. If that's the case, what will you do then? ”

I said to Aso, "What does it matter? Isn't it enough for me to know her? ”

Ah Suo said: You are impulsive now, you can not care about anything for Ah Yue, but she may be a drag on you in the future, and it will be too late for you to regret it then.

I said to Asso: I will not regret it.

Aso said, "The more determined you are, the more scared I become."

I know it's not an easy thing to like Ah Yue. It is a distant arid city, a border city in China, from the border city of Esa to the state capital, the provincial capital, and Beijing, and it is necessary to walk a long way, and make a phone call has to travel through a long time and space, so I know that the distance between me and Ah Yue is not only the distance from Esa to Beijing, because the distance from Esa to Beijing is only the length of time and space, but the approval of my grandmother, my father and mother, the distance between people is far more than the length from Esa to Beijing. Besides, I don't believe in such an illusory thing as love, and I don't believe in anything that lasts forever. So what's the love? So what's so long? Didn't my grandfather give birth to my mother because of his love for my grandmother? But the result? My grandfather was able to abandon my grandmother in his sixties. Didn't Yehena ask me to go to the Great Wall to see the meteors? But when I turned around, I held hands with the man who almost killed me. So, actually, I was really scared. I really don't know if I can bear Ah Yue's liking. Refuse, it is equivalent to pushing a despair to Ah Yue, accept it, what awaits us in the future? Therefore, how could Asso, as an older brother, not be worried?

Aso walked away in a huff.

I walked into Ah Yue's hospital room, Ah Yue's eyes stared at me, and asked, "Why did you go for so long?" Aso didn't embarrass you, did he? What did he tell you? ”

I said to Ah Yue, "Ah Suo didn't say anything. It's not that he wants his own sister to be well. ”

Ah Yue said to me, "You didn't tell the truth. Avoided what I said. Well, what will my brother say to you? I think about it, I must have said this, what are you going to do in the future? You can't eat it as a meal. To eat, to dress, to have children, these are the realities of reality. Besides, will your family accept a girl who can't speak Chinese characters? ”

I said to Ah Yue: "You can't eavesdrop, how can it be exactly the same as what your brother said, it's just strange."

Ah Yue said to me, "So I know my brother." No matter what he says, even if my Abba comes, I have to go by my heart. Ah Yue looked at me with a smile and said, "I want to eat a durian."

Seeing that Ah Yue can eat and sleep, my mood is much better.

There are also two empty beds in the ward, the walls are white, the beds are white, the bedside tables are white, the iron shelves for infusions are white, the sheets are white, the tablets are white, and if it weren't for the colorful fruits on the bedside table, the room would be monotonous as if there were no objects. The smell of soda wafts through the air. The nurse will only come in when the potion is changed. I looked at Ah Yue on the hospital bed, a girl who had nothing to do with me half a month ago. At this time, it was the person closest to me. Half a month ago, Yunnan Province, Honghe County, Huisa, Baohua Township, Azha Township, Bingcun, Nima, Yiche, Terraced Fields, Ditches, Sea of Clouds, and Polyphonic Voices were symbols that completely did not exist in my thoughts. I can't even tell if I invaded them or if they invaded me. Just like Ah Yue on the hospital bed in front of him, if it weren't for Huisa, even if he passed by on the streets of Beijing, there would be no possibility for us to know each other. But this girl, in the middle of the night in the mountains, she was tired of curling up in my arms, clinging to me, snuggling up to me trustingly, giving her to me with peace of mind, entrusting her life to me. I also hugged her tightly so that we could see some warmth. It made me feel like it was unreal. It seems that this trip to Yunnan is an illusory journey. Just like the clouds in the sky are coming, and if they say no, they will be gone, just like the rain in the sky and the rainbow behind the sun, which was still there just now, disappeared in the blink of an eye. If Resa doesn't exist, then the caravan's inn is still there, and if the girl in front of me doesn't exist, I can still feel her body temperature. The world is so real and yet so nothing. I looked at Ah Yue, looked at Ah Yue who was laughing, and confirmed that I was not sleepwalking.

Ah Yue looked at me and said to me, "Are you looking at me?" Do you miss me? ”

I said to Ah Yue, "In the dark night of the mountains, we embrace each other and face death and darkness, we are all angels."

Ah Yue said to me, "I don't understand what you mean."

I said to Ah Yue, "You don't have to understand. You are the angel I met in Wassa. It is your guardian who has made me sit in front of you now. ”

Ah Yue said: "I'm not as good as you say."

I said to Ah Yue, "I'm also glad that death has a merciful side, and he didn't take you away and left you by my side."

Maybe it is the most beautiful scenery in the world, but in my eyes, Ah Yue is the most beautiful scenery. If I say that I don't like Ah Yue, it is deceitful and hypocritical to myself. I like Ah Yue's health, rippling with youth and vitality, her black hair is flowing, her eyes are clear and bright, she is so pulling, she walks with such musical dynamism and rhythm, listening to the silverware shaking like wind chimes on her chest, as well as huge earrings, and 7cm high school shoes on her feet, all the tones and lines are so perfect on her body, making people feel that she is just a work of art imagined by an artist, an illusory existence, and does not exist in the world. But she was right in front of me, and even though she was covered in bandages at this time, it still made me feel that the bandages were just a perfect wrap and disguise for her. In China in 1983 and in Wasa in 1983, Ah Yue always made me rise to the boundless imagination. I just hope that Ah Yue is just a scenery that belongs to me, the only scenery.

Ah Yue asked me again, "What are you thinking again?" ”

I said to Ah Yue, "I'm thinking about you."

1983 But for me: it was the beginning of love. Ah Yue said to me, "I'm thinking about you too." Ah Yue pulled my hand over and pinched it in the palm of her hand. At this time, in Honghe, Yunnan, China, I met Ah Yue, and I met love. I can hug her, I can hold her hand and walk on the streets of Zosa, 1983 makes me feel that this is the most beautiful time in the world, the most touching time for my heart, the most brilliant time, and the warmest time.

Ah Yue asked me and said, "Can you hug me?"

I said to Ah Yue, "Of course you can."

The day Ah Yue woke up in the spring of 1983 was also the day my father Huang Weiguo was admitted to the Zero Military Region Hospital.