I did not dare to look him in the eyes, as if I were a criminal man, and for this old man, Hannah, the name was shouted from the man's mouth and echoed in my ears over and over again.

"Hannah, Hannah, Hannah!!"

The voice became more and more hoarse, more and more miserable, like a slap in the face, hitting my left and right cheeks. I saw myself, and the woman knelt before me with her head bowed, she was forced to hold her head high, she was already lifeless, and I took the sword in my backhand and drove it into her spine. Then I saw the man, with tears in his eyes, screaming at me, but at the moment he was about to approach me.

"Whew!"

The spearhead banner of the 7th Gemina Regiment pierced through his abdomen, tears from the corners of his eyes, blood from his mouth, slowly flowing.

I couldn't help but hold my head and bury it in my chest, closing my eyes tightly.

"In any case, don't go on."

The old coachman looked at me in astonishment, but I kept avoiding his eyes, for they were exactly the same as those of the man who had swooped down on me and died before me. I even suspect that it was all a coincidence, that this old coachman was the one who asked me to collect the debt for his unjust child.

"What's wrong with my lordship? Uncomfortable? Or did you also lose some loved ones in this tragedy? ”

The old coachman asked me, and I jerked up my head to look at him fiercely, and he hurriedly lowered his head so that he would not meet my eyes. The angry scolding that surged to the corners of my mouth made me hold back stiffly, facing this old man, I couldn't get angry, probably I didn't dare, it must be the conscience in my heart that controlled me.

"No, nothing." I let out a long sigh and explained, "I'm nothing more than a survivor of that war and a poor father's child. "I chose to keep it hidden.

"Oh?"

When he heard that I had taken part in the siege of Ludinand, the old man's somewhat cloudy eyes lit up, and he leaned closer, his tone full of anticipation and glee. "My lord, have you heard of those two children? My son, his name is Luca! And his lover, Hannah, the Hannah I just mentioned! ”

"No, I don't know!"

I shook my head, saying that I didn't know him, but in my heart I had already repeated the name over and over again, "Luka, Luka, Luka......" He was sure that he was dead, and it was a glorious death to be pierced by the banner of the Seventh Gemina Regiment.

The glint in the old coachman's eyes faded out, and his expression of longing and longing was replaced by loss.

"It's the same, it's so chaotic. When a person kills someone and is killed, the perpetrator and the victim are both strangers, so naturally they do not know each other. ”

"No, I didn't kill them!"

It may have been the old coachman's unintentional words that made my nerves, which had just been a little relaxed, tense up again, and I thought, what does this old fellow mean by this? Could it be that he already knew what I was doing, so he said such things to deliberately tempt me?

I did not dare to look at the old coachman, did he see my fear, and knew what I was doing? How would he view me?

The old coachman still looked at me with the puzzled eyes, as if he really didn't know anything.

Hide? You're not hiding! I look at this old guy, he doesn't seem to know anything, is it true? I did not dare to think any further, perhaps seeing that I was tired and evasive, and the old coachman stopped talking with interest, until the sun was almost setting and the surrounding woods could no longer see the road ahead.

It was a quiet journey, the first time since my first march that I had not been attacked by barbarians, and I felt uncomfortable.

I jumped out of the carriage with the help of Andrew and Briss, and the old coachman smiled at me and saluted, "Have fun, sir!" ”

Through the firelight, I could see that his smile was very relaxed, completely devoid of his original inhibitions. However, there is a ghost in my heart, and this heart drives me, and I feel very hideous when I look at his smile, as if he is hiding something. I smiled reluctantly and waved goodbye to him, turned around, and trotted all the way in a hurry, I wanted to get away from him as soon as possible.

Today's food was very simple, just salty bread and cold water, and according to the instructions from the scouts, all the teams were not allowed to cook on the fire. In such a cold and humid environment at night, the only thing that can keep warm is that everyone is sitting together and draped in blankets.

I sat in Andrew and Briss, and of course Fermio, in the midst of such a wooded bush, knowing that it was full of people all around, but I couldn't hear any signs of the wind and grass, and it was really terrifying.

They were so tired from the day's journey that they could fall asleep standing up, and Briss and Fermio were already snoring.

"Andrew."

I had no intention of being troubled, and now I couldn't sleep any more than I could listen to the snoring of those two fellows, and I must have had a nervous breakdown from the old coachman, so I called to Andrew, and spoke to him.

"What's wrong? Luga? ”

Andrew turned his head to the side, and it was clear that he was not asleep either.

"You heard the old coachman's words today."

As I spoke, I tightened the chain mail on my body again, and the armor could not be separated from my body at night, so I might have encountered an emergency.

"Well, the poor old man."

Andrew chuckled twice, and I could not tell whether he was pitying or mocking the old coachman.

"He has a child named Luca, and his child has a lover named Hannah."

"Well, I know, Luga, what are you trying to convey by saying this?"

Andrew asked me, he really didn't know anything about what the two of us were doing that day.

I let out a long sigh, Andrew's appearance made me feel even more guilty, killing a person, I didn't even feel a little guilty, such a person is not a hero, it is a demon.

"Andrew," I then asked him, "how many people have we killed since we joined the army together?" ”

"How many people have been killed? Ha, interesting. Andrew laughed dryly twice, and then continued: "Luga, you are very strange today, is the wound in your chest infected?" Stir up your head so that you can't feel the sanity and sobriety that God has given you? ”

"No, I just."

I didn't know how to express it, and I was struggling with whether to tell Andrew about it, after all, we were murderers.

"Lukka and Hannah, you know it!"

I finally mustered up the courage to speak up, and Andrew was silent, he was listening quietly. This eased the tension in my heart a lot, and I have to admit that Andrew is a good listener.

"These two men, well, do you remember the attack we had on our way to Ludinand?"

"Hah! That time! ”

As soon as he said that, Andrew shouted excitedly, if it weren't for Briss and Flio's exhaustion, they would have been woken up a long time ago, Andrew sensed his faux pas, so he lowered his voice and said to me: "We were so fucking gentlemen, didn't we, Luga, we have a good lesson to those mud legs who only know money!" ”

"Do you remember the Burgundian you stabbed to death with the banner?"

"That's the one, don't die fool?" Andrew said, shaking his head. "This guy is really bent on death!"

"Well, to tell you the truth, that man, if not as I expected, is the son of the old coachman." I was determined to tell him the truth!

"Him?"

Andrew's voice was completely beyond my expectations, and I thought he would be surprised, but he was so calm and frightened when he heard it. What I heard in his tone was a sense of unfazed news, and such shocking news was not even as good as a pebble in his place, and it could not ripple even a little in his calm state of mind.

"It's a shame indeed."

Andrew laughed, only softly.

"Why? Why don't you feel a little regretful? I asked him. I can't believe it, has he killed the last bit of humanity in his heart after so many killings? I don't believe it, so I want to ask for the truth, and I want to hear his answer.

"If you had thought so much at the time, you wouldn't have come up with this truth that you can't accept here!" Andrew's tone remained calm. "Everyone who goes to war is someone's child, or someone's father and husband. But this is not a reason for us to pity them, because there are no personal grudges, only life and death. ”

Andrew has a point, they could be a good father, a good husband, a good child! But we too, when we take up arms and face each other, these reasons are not valid, and no one is a good father, a good husband, a good child, and there are only enemies left. Swords and spears don't care about these pale reasons, they don't give people a chance to linger for a moment, they only have to kill and be killed!

"Wipe away the dead, leave the pain and torment to the living!" I bowed my head and muttered, feeling that there was no more enlightening reason for me to be now.

"That woman named Hannah, I killed her in a cruel way when I lost my mind."

"If you hesitate for a moment, then you are the one who dies! So would you expect guilt from the person who killed you? ”

"Also, it's better to die than to live!"

I thought of the bandit who stabbed me several times, so would he feel guilty now? I'm afraid the answer is the only one he knows!