A, she is at the same table

There is a campus song, I don't know how many people's feelings have been touched:

"Tomorrow will you remember, the diary you wrote yesterday;

Tomorrow, will you still be worried about the person who used to cry the most?

Teachers can't remember you anymore, you can't guess the problem;

I also happened to flip through the photos before I remembered you at the same table. ”

The life sung in the song "You at the Table" may be in middle school or college, but it reminds me of my elementary school days.

When I was in elementary school, I was still relatively honest when I first faced an unfamiliar environment and unfamiliar classmates. But after a few weeks, my mischievous nature was revealed. My tablemate is a girl from our village surnamed Feng. She's taller than me, fatter than me, and takes up more space on her desk than I am. So, I drew a "Chu River and Han Boundary" on my desk with a pencil and told her that no one could cross each other, otherwise they would bear the consequences. Once, while she was concentrating on her homework, her classmates suddenly heard her cry "ah". The teacher came over and asked what was going on? She said I pricked her with a needle. The teacher was very angry: "Liang Guoguo, what's the matter with you?" I said, "Who let her encroach on my place?" "When the teacher saw that I didn't admit my mistake, he called me to the outside of the classroom to stand for punishment. After that, I was even more angry with her. Either hide her homework book, or secretly break her sharpened pencil, and then gently insert the lead into it, and when she is doing her homework, the lead will fall off as soon as she uses force. As a result, she kept complaining, and I kept punishing me.

I think the most memorable thing was when I was in the third grade of elementary school. Once, when the teacher asked her to stand up and answer a question, I quietly moved her stool back with my feet, and when she sat down after answering the question, she sat on the floor and cried. At this time, before the teacher could say anything, I took the initiative to go to the punishment station outside the classroom. When my usual friends saw my "feat", they coaxed and said, "Liang motherland is good!" ”

After school that afternoon, I put down my schoolbag and led the sheep to herd as usual. I herd sheep differently from other children. Because it was winter, the grass was withered and the leaves were gone, so when I got outside, I tied the sheep to the tree and went to play with the children by myself. When it gets dark, I lead the sheep to the wheat field and let them nibble on the seedlings in the production team. When the sheep had eaten a round belly, I drove the sheep home happily. This time, when I arrived at the gate, I saw my father standing there. Since it was very dark and I couldn't see my father's expression, I called "Dad". As soon as the words fell, my father did not answer, grabbed me with his left hand, opened the bow left and right and slapped me twice. I jerked free of my father and ran, and soon disappeared into the night.

I later found out that because of my prank during the day, the teacher and the girl's parents had come to my house.

It was late at night, and I was so hungry that I hid outside in the corn stalks and didn't dare to go home. Later, my mother found me and pleaded with my father in every possible way, and I made a promise to settle the matter.

The next day after breakfast, I came to school early. I thought, what kind of ability is it to find parents? Wait and see!

A day passed, and she didn't come; Another week had passed, and she hadn't come. Later, I heard from her classmates that her parents didn't let her go to school and let her do farm work at home.

Somehow, looking at the empty seats, I especially wanted her to come. But until we graduated from primary school, she never came back to school.

At that time, I was young, so I naturally didn't know what the "38th parallel" deeply carved on the table meant, but the consciousness of defending my territory was innate.

Everyone is imprinted by the times in which they live.

Normal is not normal, abnormal becomes normal, this is the madness of that era. After all, in a country that has been closed and self-defended for thousands of years, many things are rotten and obsolete, and a "revolution" is necessary to completely reverse them all at once.

B. The "child king" in the village

Without opponents, there will be no "fighting spirit". I don't know when I have a hobby again, which is to read villain books, and I am fascinated. At first, I just borrowed other people's views, but after a long time, people were unwilling. There was no way, and from then on I started stealing my father's money, a few hammers at a time, and after a few times I went to the bookstore to buy a few villain books (at that time, they were a few cents each). Unexpectedly, when I was about to graduate from elementary school, I had a whole carton of villain books and became the "king" of villain books in the class.

Now that I think about it, it was these villain books (I started reading novels when I was in junior high school) that opened a window into the outside world for me.

Because of my villain's complete variety and quantity, others are vying to exchange them with me. In this way, I gathered popularity and popularity, and dozens of children in the whole village followed my ass. I am the self-proclaimed "commander", and I also have the "Eight King Kongs" under my command. At that time, the only cultural and recreational activity in the countryside was watching movies. A movie was shown in the surrounding villages, and I took them to watch it in turn, and I can still memorize some classic lines. I remember watching the war movies "Surprise Attack", "Scout", "Fighting the Invaders", "Crossing the River Reconnaissance", "Southern Expedition and Northern War" and so on. Because of his infinite energy in his teens, in addition to taking them everywhere to watch movies, he also took them to "go down to the river to catch fish and shrimp, and go ashore to steal pears and melons". The most exciting thing is to lead them to "fight in the south and in the north", and fight "dirt battles" with the children in the surrounding villages.

The reason is: once I took a few children to the field of a neighboring village to pull "hemp rope vegetables", but was stopped by a few children older than us, and they asked if there was a "Zheng Jingren" in our village? We say no. They said, "There is not even a "serious person" in your village, and they still come to us to pull vegetables, so let's go, otherwise we will be careful of beating you. When they said this, we pondered it, and it turned out that they were playing tricks on us. But seeing that they are so numerous and powerful, the heroes don't suffer immediate losses, so we have to go back obediently. Our village is a big village compared to the surrounding villages, how can we suffer this great shame! So, I gathered dozens of children, brought "weapons" (sticks, sticks, sticks when they were close, and dirt and dirt when they were far away), and went to settle accounts with them. In order not to attract their attention, our troops marched to the destination in three directions. The children were unsuspecting, and when they found us, they only listened to my order, "Hit!" "The earth rained down on them, and they fled in the wilderness. Later, they went to the village and gathered some people to carry out three counterattacks, but we all beat them back. From then on, they bowed down to their subordinates.

After that, we, who were full of energy, used the same method to provoke other villages around us, causing "wars" again and again. The west of our village is Li Tunzi and Dingzhuang, the south is Xingwang, the east is Pangqiao and Hangao, and the north is Chenzhuang. Because we are outnumbered, the more we fight, the more courageous we become, so "we will not be defeated in a hundred battles". Since then, my fame has soared, and I have become a "bad boy" in the mouths of well-known adults; "Little heroes" in the eyes of children. Many children are proud to be part of our ranks.

It didn't take long for such a good day to go to junior high school. I was 13 years old (when I was in school, the rural education system was 5 years of elementary school, 2 years of junior high school, and 2 years of high school).

My naughty nature didn't change because I entered junior high school. The junior high school is located in Dayang Village, which is two miles away, and students from several surrounding villages have to go there to attend junior high school. One night, Uncle Renjiang and I in the village went to study at night. When I walked to the street, I saw the old man Liang Shangzhi in the village driving the ox cart to his home, and the things he was pulling behind were covered with a cloth. I sat on it, only to hear a "click", it turned out that he was pulling the door and window glass, and it was all cracked. I panicked, and they walked more than 30 miles to pull it back from the city, and it was all over. The old man said anxiously and angrily: "Look at you child, it's true! "At this time, Uncle Renjiang and I ran away. But I vaguely heard the old man running to my house. I thought, this is over, I can't avoid this beating. After the evening self-study, I didn't dare to go home, but I had nowhere to go, so I racked my brains to think of a way, so I hid on the grass shed on the south side of my grandmother's west house, and fell asleep unconsciously. Late at night, my mother saw that I hadn't come back yet, and she was anxious, where did the child go? He mobilized his family to look everywhere, and finally found me on the straw hut. When the grandmother found out about this, she said to the father, "If the child knows that he is wrong, don't hit him." Later, when my mother, uncle, and aunt all spoke well for me, I finally escaped this "catastrophe".

Later, I learned that Grandpa Shangzhi came to my house and explained what happened, but emphasized that he could not beat the child. Just let him know that he was wrong, and say that he will not pay for anything.

Although the old man worked in the city, he was kind and approachable to the people in the village, and no matter who encountered difficulties to find him, he would do his best to help, and he was recognized as a good person in the neighborhood.

The father was a very dignified man, very strict with his children, and had a great temper. In addition to being a soldier, he also served as a militia company commander, a production captain, and a captain of the commune's professional team. For as long as I can remember, my father's most glorious role, and I am most proud of him, was his role as Hatoyama in the revolutionary model play "Red Lantern" rehearsed in the village. He portrayed the fierce and vicious Japanese gendarmerie captain Hatoyama vividly and penetrated, and was praised by the leaders of the commune at that time. To this day, I still remember my father's Hatoyama and Liang Shangquan's grandfather Li Yuhe (he also played very well, and performed Li Yuhe's fearless heroism to the fullest), those classic lines in the play:

Hatoyama: There is an old Chinese saying that life is like a dream, and it will be a hundred years in the blink of an eye! Is the so-called wine and singing about life?

Li Yuhe: Yes, listening to songs and drinking some fine wine, it is really a fairy life. Mr. Hatoyama, I hope you will be like this every day and live a long life!

Hatoyama: Old friend, I am a believer in Buddhism, and there is such a sentence in the Buddhist scriptures, that is, the sea of suffering is boundless, and turning back is the shore!

Li Yuhe: I don't believe in Buddhism, but I've also heard that there is a saying that the Tao is one foot high, and the magic is one foot high!

Hatoyama: Okay, that's a good point. Old friend, people don't destroy the heavens and the earth for their own sake!

Li Yuhe: What? If people don't do it for themselves, they will be destroyed by heaven and earth?

Hatoyama: Yes, that's my way of being a human being.

Li Yuhe: Mr. Hatoyama, to me, your trick is really like a rolling pin blowing fire, I don't know anything!

Hatoyama: Old friend, if you toast and don't eat and drink, don't blame me for not knowing how to make friends!

Li Yuhe: Then do whatever you want!

C. "Filial piety under the stick"

After the "glass" incident, I did be honest for a while. But soon I did some unbelievable things: first, once, I cut the grass and sold it to the production team to earn work, and the staff in charge of weighing found that my basket of grass was much heavier than others', and when I poured out the grass in the basket, others opened it and looked dumbfounded, and there were a lot of mud in it; Second, one day I went to the field to mow the grass, and in order to see if the sickle was fast, I deliberately cut more than 20 crops; Third, on a rainy day, I went to the neighboring village of Han Gao to steal the basket slivers, and after being discovered, I cut people's hands with a sickle when I broke free with the people who watched the slivers; On Sunday, the county staff installed a high-voltage line at the head of our village, and I took advantage of their lunch time to secretly dig a pit and bury it in the ground with a pulley; Fifth, I was playing in the river with my children, I was swept away by the water and almost drowned, but fortunately, Uncle Liang Renhe jumped off the bridge and rescued me with two small hands; Sixth, I was playing with the pillar (milk name) on the highway with a shovel, and he used a shovel to poke a hole in my right eyebrow with seven stitches......

I kept getting into trouble, and of course I was getting beaten up. Is it nature or youthful rebellion? Or something else, I can't tell. But I always keep teaching, and I forget the pain when the scar is good.

Every time my father beat me, he let go of his cruel words: "Your kid is done with this life." Why did you give birth to such a thing! Causing trouble every day, not doing the right thing, embarrassing me. ”

In the father's concept, "filial piety comes from under the stick", in fact, from the final result, this sentence is still very effective.

The winter when I was 13 years old was freezing. The first snow of that year was a little earlier than the previous year. When the Spring Festival was approaching, when I secretly rummaged through the box at home, I found five yuan. That's a lot of money in those days! I was greedy for a moment, thinking that maybe my father had forgotten. I took the money out and went to the market to buy a few firecrackers, but I didn't dare to put the rest of the money back, so I hid it in the ditch where water flowed out when it rained.

It turned out that the money was left over from the second uncle and fourth aunt to buy beeswax in the city. When my father went to deliver beeswax and the rest of the money to my second uncle, he couldn't find it. My father asked me if I had taken it. I was very scared, but I insisted that I didn't take it. At that time, the mother also said that children would not dare to take so much money.

At this time, the parents were very anxious, rummaging through boxes and cabinets in the house and yard to look everywhere. Unexpectedly, I found more than three yuan of change in the ditch. Then my father concluded that I had done it, but he didn't say anything. That night, because I was always vigilant, I waited for my father to go to bed before I took off my clothes and lay down on the kang to sleep. When my father saw me lying down, he suddenly got up and slammed the door shut, and my head "buzzed" wide. I heard my father shouting, "Take off your clothes!" Come and get on your knees! I shuddered, got up, took off my only shorts, and knelt down at the table. I saw my father pick up the stick he had prepared and beat me up. I cried and cried, "Dad, I was wrong, I don't dare anymore." At this moment, my mother, who was in the back room, heard my cry and hurried over and hugged my father. The mother cried and said, "He is still a child, just change it, and you still beat the child to death!" My father, who was furious, could not listen to this, but the stick kept hitting my thin body, and his mouth kept saying, "I will beat him to death!" Kill this unassailable thing! The mother couldn't hold back, he really had the strength to beat the child to death, so he had no choice but to lie on top of me and cry and say, "Then you can beat me!" Then my father stopped. After my mother asked me to put on my clothes, she said, "Swear to your father, say that you will change it, and you will never dare again." I knelt down in front of my father and said, "Dad, I've really changed this time." From now on, see what I do! I'm going to fight for you! My father listened to me and turned his head away, but I saw the crystal in his eyes. As people say, hitting the child's body hurts the parents' hearts. But I didn't understand it at the time, I said it, but I was still full of hatred for my father! I thought to myself, when I am a little older, I will definitely go out and never return to this home!

More than 30 years later, I still burst into tears when I wrote this. Tears kept blurring my eyes, and I couldn't wipe them anymore. These are tears of remorse and tears of longing. After I left home as a soldier, I often wondered, as the eldest of the six sisters, why didn't I know to take on the responsibility of being the boss and help my parents support the family? But it often adds chaos and causes trouble? I regret it! But there is no regret medicine in life. At this time, I no longer have a grudge against my father, but a deep love and endless thoughts! Whose parents are not "hoping for their son to become a dragon" and "hoping for their daughter to become a phoenix"? In my heart, my father will always be a mountain; Mother is always a river.

Confucius said: "The tree wants to be quiet but the wind does not stop, and the son wants to raise but does not wait." "Now I often think that if my father could still reprimand me and beat and scold me, how happy and comforting it would be! However, there was no more chance......

D. The world in the book is really wonderful

When I got to junior high school, especially after being severely punished by my father last time, I became much more honest. But to be honest, it's not enough to study hard, it's just "being a monk for a day and hitting the clock for a day". Besides, it was the "Cultural Revolution" period, and education was not paid much attention from top to bottom. At school, they either cut the grass or supported the farmers, and then they "criticized the forest and criticized the holes" all day long to write critical drafts. It was not an exam in high school, but a recommendation from the brigade, which made me lose motivation to study. But it was then that I found an outlet for my exuberant energy, and that was to read novels. The junior high school students are much higher than those in the primary school, some have non-agricultural household registration, some have parents who are commune cadres, and some have fathers who work in the provincial capital. Not only do they eat and dress well, but they also have a variety of storybooks (novels).

The books I started reading were: "The Story of the Big Knife", "Red Cherry Blossoms on the Battlefield", "Angry Tide on the Fishing Island", "Gao Yubao", "Bitter Cauliflower", "Heart-Connecting Lock", "Behind the Enemy Lines", "Yanling Team", "Lin Hai Snow Plain", etc., these books and stories about ups and downs, the joys and sorrows of the characters' fates, made me fascinated, and sometimes forgot to eat and sleep. Even during class, I put the novel under the textbook and read it secretly. I don't listen to lectures in class, and of course I don't know how to do homework. If I can't help it, I'll copy someone else's. I remember that one of my classmates who copied the most land was named Dong Zhanwu and the other was Dong Caiwu. Dong Zhanwu is good at mathematics, so I will copy his mathematics; Dong Caiwu is good at physics and chemistry, so I will copy his physics and chemistry. Therefore, in the teacher's impression, I studied well because the homework book was full of matching marks. I used to read novels at home until late at night, and my mother told my father that my children really know how to learn now.

In junior high school, my table mate was a boy, and I was the most reluctant. I don't know why? When I was in elementary school, I didn't want to share a table with girls, but when I went to junior high school, I wanted to share a table with girls, especially those who were better-looking. Those boys who share a table with beautiful girls often make me envious, jealous and hateful. Although the countryside was very feudal at that time, boys and girls basically did not speak. If anyone often talks to girls, others will create rumors and be charged with "trumped-up" crimes. Among them, I am one of those who do such "good deeds".

My tablemate's name is Liang Anlin, who is from my village, and I should call him grandpa according to my generation. We have not been "coping" since we were children. Because of his family's bad composition, his father, my name is Grandpa, once wore a high hat and a sign on his chest that read "Dig up the Bad Elements in the Corners of the Socialist Wall" and walked through the streets of the commune. I was born in a poor peasant, and my father also served as a soldier and participated in the War to Resist US Aggression and Aid Korea. I took advantage of these when I was in elementary school, and I often bullied him and isolated him. I didn't expect that the road was really narrow, and when I got to junior high school, I was very annoyed by the fact that I was sharing a table with him.

Although we are at the same table, we don't talk to anyone because of the "beams" we have formed in the past. The "Chu River and Han Boundary" are even more clearly distinguished. As the saying goes, those who are close to Zhu are red and those who are close to ink are black. I don't know when he started reading novels, and they were all new, and I had never read them. In addition, he often appeared in front of me, consciously or unconsciously, which aroused my resentment and jealousy, and for this reason, I often caused trouble to suppress him. Either he waited for his arm to cross the line and then pushed him, or when he went in (where I was in the back), he slammed him, and he swallowed his anger and lost his temper.

Even so, I was still puzzled. I thought, where did he get so much money to buy novels? Later, I learned that he and his brother and sister would weave pigtails from corn husks every day after school, and then order them into carpets to sell. A carpet can be sold for more than seven cents, and because he weaves a lot, his parents often give him pocket money. He bought all the money into novels and secretly opposed me. Knowing this, I mobilized my mother and eldest sister at home, and we also braided pigtails. Because we didn't do a good job of weaving, and my mother worked hard to get a few carpets for a long time, and often brought back more carpets than they sold. The idea of using this method to make money failed, and my resentment towards him grew.

Ever since I was a child, I was a person who didn't give up easily. There was no way, so I took some of my beloved villain books in the past, and scraped together some money to buy books he had never read, such as "Coal Mine", "Fierce Battle of the Nameless", "Island Female Militia", etc., and finally saved a little face.

E, the fourth uncle who was a soldier

It wasn't long before I was very proud of something that made me proud. That is, the fourth uncle Liang Renhua, who was a soldier outside, came back to visit his family. Not only did he bring me a lot of all kinds of commemorative medals of Chairman Mao that everyone loved at that time, but also a hardcover edition of "Mao Zedong's Selected Works" in volumes 1 to 4. This set of "Mao Zedong's Selected Works" is difficult to buy not only in the countryside, but also in the city. The fourth uncle is majestic and majestic in military uniform, which makes me very envious. During that time, I followed the fourth uncle wherever he went, and I looked very spirited, as if it was me who was a soldier and not the fourth uncle. When no one was around, I asked the fourth uncle to take off his military uniform, I put on a stinky beauty, and asked the fourth uncle to tell me about the army. The fourth uncle saw that I was wearing a big and fat military uniform, and said with a smile: "Country, you will also become a soldier when you are older, right?" I looked at the fourth uncle and said, "Can I do it?" The fourth uncle said, "Okay." But not now, you are still young, you have to study hard, and you can be a good soldier with culture. "Maybe the fourth uncle's casual words at that time made me have a complex of being a soldier from then on.

The fourth uncle, Liang Renhua, was a soldier with Liang Anzhong's grandfather in our village in the autumn of 1968, and according to the army, he belonged to the 1969 soldiers. When the fourth uncle visited the house, it was the time of the annual conscription, and at this time, the fifth uncle Liang Renguo also went to inspect the army. At this time, I was really happier than the fifth uncle. I thought to myself, if the fifth uncle also became a soldier, there would be three soldiers in our family plus my father. At that time, the political status of the military was very high, and it was really an honor for the whole family to be a soldier. However, the fifth uncle was unable to do so due to high blood pressure. Hearing this news, my heart is really more uncomfortable than the fifth uncle.

The unit where the fourth uncle served as a soldier was a unit under the 64th Field Army, stationed in Dandong, Liaoning. What the fourth uncle didn't expect was that 10 years later, in December 1979, due to the pressure of life, I really became a soldier in a helpless situation. And the field army where I am located is numerically the 46th Army.

I really didn't expect that once this military uniform was worn, it had been worn for 31 years from the past "one red star and two red flags" to the current "2007-style" latest military uniform. from companies, battalions, regiments, divisions, and armies, all the way to the General Political Department of the People's Liberation Army, the supreme leading organ; from platoon, company, battalion, all the way to division; The ranks are also from lieutenant, captain, major, up to colonel. What everyone didn't expect was that since then, my third brother Liang Zugang, second sister Liang Qianqian, and fourth brother Liang Zubao have all worn green uniforms. My lover Yan Ping once served in the Air Force of the Jinan Military Region, and even my fourth brother and daughter-in-law Che Qi is also a heroic female police officer! Later, the second uncle's children Liang Zutian and Liang Zumin; Liang Zuyong, the child of the fifth uncle, and even the children of my eldest sister, Li Jitong and Li Jiyang, have also served as soldiers. Our big family has really become a veritable "military home".

The fourth uncle's vacation ended soon. During this holiday, he fulfilled his "historical mission" as he wished and found the beautiful fourth aunt Cui Yurong. Moreover, the father of the fourth aunt is still an active officer of our county's armed forces! When the fourth uncle left, I was very sad, it was really "silent and two tears, and the camel bell sounded in my ears". At that time, I thought to myself, if only I could go with him.

The fourth uncle returned to the army, and the glory brought to me was taken away, and everything tended to be calm again. I'm back to reality and I'm going to have to deal with my "opponent" again.

One morning after class, I wanted to go out. Because of the close proximity between the desks, my tablemate couldn't get out of the room if he didn't stand up. I saw that he was still lying there reading, so I slammed into him and rushed out. Unexpectedly, he stood up and became angry all of a sudden, grabbed my pencil case and smashed it at me, only to hear a "click", and all the contents of the box fell to the ground. I, who had always had the upper hand, couldn't stand this anger, so I grabbed him and threw him to the ground, and the two of them tore and fought. Class leader Yang Rongfu and his classmates hurried over and pulled us apart. Squad leader Yang asked, "What's going on?" I said, "I'm in a hurry to go to the toilet and he won't let me out." Squad leader Yang said: "This is your fault!" Why don't you let people go to the toilet? He said, "I, I ......," and he didn't say why. At this time, I picked up compasses, rulers, and other things that had fallen on the ground. Suddenly, a pleasant voice came to people's ears: "Liang Guoguo, your pen fell there." I turned my head and looked for the sound and saw those beautiful eyes. Suddenly, my face turned red, and a warm current surged through my body. She is our recognized "school flower", the Xi Shi in my heart - the beauty of sinking fish and geese; The sable cicada in the dream - the appearance of the shy flower and the closed moon. Her move made me excited for days. I thought, does she have a crush on me? "Which young man is not good at love, which young woman is not good at spring, this is the true and pure in human nature." This is what the great poet Goethe said.

After many days of observation, people don't have such a thing at all, it's just that I'm doing it myself. Besides, she was of the same age as my grandfather, which was impossible in the middle of nowhere.

When I wrote this, I thought of such a plot in the movie "Peacock" directed by Gu Changwei: after the hero arrived at school one day, he found that a lot of garbage had been placed in the drawer of his desk, and he was embarrassed to take it out one by one. At this time, a beautiful girl at the next table took the initiative to bring a broom and dustpan to help him get out. After school, the girls ride in front and the boys chase behind. In an alley, the girl stopped her car, waited for him to catch up, and said to him, "You are becoming more and more like a dog!" Do you think it's good for you that I help you? That's because I pity you! "I don't know why, my face turned red when I thought of this plot. I thought, when I was in school, I was naïve and naïve like the hero!

F. Crying on the other side of the river

Time flies. The two years of junior high school passed quickly in ignorance and fighting. I was 15 years old.

After the junior high school graduation ceremony, my classmates and I walked back with our school bags, and I felt very lost while others were full of infinite hopes and longings for the future. Some said that they were going to go to high school at home, some said that they wanted to work as a temporary worker in the city, some said that they wanted to become a soldier, and some said that they wanted to go to a spinning school and become a full-time job after graduation.

After listening to everyone's plan, I was silent. I thought to myself, this year, there are 6 people who graduated from junior high school in our village, including Liang Shangda, Ding Jianhua, Liang Hailin, Liang Anlan, Liang Anlin and me. It is customary to recommend that two people go to high school. Liang Anlan is a girl and a review student, plus she studies well, so she must be fine. I recommend one more among the 5 of us, according to his studies and performance, Ding Jianhua's hope is relatively great, with my reputation as a "bad boy" in the village, it is impossible to recommend him to high school. At that time, I was still young when I was a soldier, and it didn't matter if I went out to work as a temporary worker, so I thought for a long time that there was only one way out: to farm at home.

At that time, the production team implemented a division of work system. Male laborers have 10 points a day, female laborers have 9 points, and I only give 7 points for a day. My first job after graduation was "Shanghe" (i.e., repairing farmland and water conservancy projects), and in Jiuzhai Temple, which is more than ten miles away from home, Uncle Liang Renhe and I were in charge of watching the pumping machine. As the saying goes, "men sing sadly, women cry". During that time, I often stood on the dam, facing the vast and empty fields, and sang "Honghu water, waves, waves, waves, the shore of Honghu Lake, what is my hometown......" The lyrical and euphemistic singing voice expresses the grief and dissatisfaction of a rural teenager with reality. The work of looking at the pumping machine is relatively leisurely, but it will be over in more than a month. The second job was to go to the commune professional team to repair roads. At first, everyone worked together as a brigade, and I could also "fill the number of rods". Later, some people saw that I was small and weak, and they were afraid of dragging them down, so they asked to do it separately. Since then, I have been mowing grass for a living at home.

When I graduated from junior high school, my eldest sister was 12 years old, my second brother was 10 years old, my third brother was 8 years old, my second sister was 6 years old, and my fourth brother was 3 years old. Due to the large number of people in the family, it is not enough to earn work every year, so the mother will do whatever work is tired and earns more work, and often work with male laborers. The mother not only earns a share of work, but also manages the family's food, clothing, washing, and use. At home, the mother always throws a rake and a broom, feeds the pigs, feeds the chickens, cooks, brushes the pot, and never has a time to be idle. Six children, not to mention dressing, let alone washing, is six pairs of shoes per person. At that time, the soles of shoes were drawn out one by one, which was very laborious. Often, the shoes of my younger siblings below have not been finished, and the shoes I am wearing have long been torn. First of all, the thumb of the foot arched out, which is not afraid, the most afraid is that the sole of the shoe grinds out a hole with a large steel hammer one after the other, and the grinding gets bigger and bigger, and it is often pricked by thistles when walking in the grass. Every time the Chinese New Year is approaching, it is our happiest time, because only during the New Year can we eat steamed buns, meat and other delicious food. But it was also the time when my mother was most tired. In order to let the children each wear a new set of clothes and a new pair of shoes before the new year, she often can't sleep at night despite the fatigue of the day. The mother never said that she was tired, or that she had any complaints, and she was happy from the bottom of her heart for her children, which can be seen from the way her mother was doing needlework under the kerosene lamp and humming a little song. Mother often said that people live for a breath, and trees fight for a skin. What my mother means is that no matter how much hardship and tiredness I endure, I can't live below others, and then people will look down on me. I have the impression that as soon as the morning came, my mother's scolding sounded, and it was simply the wake-up number of our family. In order to owe less work in the production team, my mother got up early every morning and called the eldest to the second, and the third to the fourth. The reason is that my mother has to go to work early in the morning and calls me up to cook at home, the eldest sister takes care of my younger siblings, and the third goes to mow the grass. When my mother came back from morning work and had breakfast, my mother continued to work, and I went to mow the grass. At that time, my father was a road maintenance worker, and his life was relatively easy, so he was responsible for making lunch. When I came back from mowing in the morning, my mother had also left work, and we had a bite to eat and went to mow the grass with my mother again. In the hot summer, sweat constantly blurs our eyes, but my mother and I often don't bother to wipe it. Sometimes when I was thirsty, my mother and I would take a few sips of river water to drink. When I started work in the afternoon, my father would push a cart and bring back the grass that my mother and I had cut and dry it (it would be dried and sold to the production team to feed the livestock in the winter). My mother continued to work in the afternoon, and I went home to drink saliva and continue to mow the grass in the afternoon. In winter, the weather is so cold that the grass freezes and falls down with a scythe. So I got up before dawn to mow the grass, and when it was time for breakfast I came back with a wheelbarrow of grass (the scars on my hands are still visible from mowing the grass). In that year, my family sold more than 6,000 catties of hay, ranking first in the village, and exchanged more than 400 catties of wheat back.

After a tiring day, I was exhausted, and in the dead of night, I still secretly took out books such as "Song of Youth", "How Steel is Made", "Bitter Cauliflower" and "Gao Yubao" to read. The fighting spirit, joys and sorrows of the characters in the book brought me spiritual joy and infinite reverie. It was "they" who accompanied me through the lowest and darkest time of my life.

September 1 is the day when schools open. On this day, I was mowing grass on the north bank of the Reed River alone, but I suddenly became sad. Confucius said, "Fifteen ambitions are to learn", but I am determined to learn, and my heart is really unwilling! I thought, if it goes on like this, year after year, year after year, when will it be a head? At this time, everyone else went to school, and I felt lonely, helpless, and sad. In addition to Liang Anlan and Ding Jianhua, who I predicted, went to high school, Liang Shangda became a navy, and Liang Hailin also went to high school, and I studied about the same as him! The more I thought about it, the more sad I became, and the more I thought about it, the more sad I became, and I couldn't help but cry. The cry is like the reed river of angry roar, surging, wave after wave, as if telling the injustice and pathos in the heart of a young man. Like Gao Yubao's cry in his autobiographical novel, "I want to read!" I want to read! The cry attracted a lot of onlookers. As the saying goes, men don't flick when they have tears, just because they don't feel sad. I cried and said, "Hailin doesn't have a father (his father died of illness), and he asked someone to go to high school, so it's better for me to have a father than not to have a father!" ”

That day, I didn't cut any grass at all, and I came back empty. I thought, let my father fight, it's better to be killed than to be alive now. To my surprise, my father didn't beat me. It turned out that someone had told him about my crying. I didn't eat dinner and just lay down and went to sleep. But I couldn't sleep, and I vaguely heard my father and mother discuss, "It doesn't matter if we go to high school, who are we looking for?" Isn't it time for exams? Let's let him go for a review! If you can't pass the exam again, you can't complain about the adults. ”

The father, who was so strong all his life and never asked for help, found the principal of Dayang School, Jin Xuefa. Principal Kim said, "Your child doesn't know how to learn. Once, he was late and didn't enter the school gate, and he was playing poker in the ditch outside the school, and I caught him. I don't know how many good things my father said, but in the end, Principal Kim finally agreed. Carrying the bag that my mother had sewn for me, I went back to school. The school is still the same school, the teachers are still those teachers, but when I re-enter the school, I feel very new and excited. People, as long as the strength bursts out from the heart, can not be overwhelmed by any difficulty. After I went to school, I was like a different person, diligent and inquisitive, and studied hard. At that time, we had morning self-study and evening self-study, and I was the first to arrive with a kerosene lamp for morning self-study; I was the last one to go for self-study every night. After the evening self-study, I insisted on learning when I got home and rested when I was really sleepy. Many times, I fell asleep under the kerosene lamp, and when I woke up, I studied for a while, and then went straight to the morning self-study. Because I am now in great contrast with the past, and my learning progress is very fast, I am often "praised" by my teachers. Especially Ms. Yang Xiurong, who teaches mathematics, asks a lot of questions every time because of my poor foundation in mathematics, but she always takes the trouble to follow her steps. Whenever I made a little improvement, she offered praise and encouragement. There is also Wang Xianqing, a chemistry teacher, who often uses her spare time to give me "small stoves" in view of my weak links in chemistry. Hard work pays off. Half a year later, I was in the top five in my class in all subjects, and for this, I wore a big red flower and was commended by the whole school. In addition, the praise draft of "Learning from Brother Liang's Motherland" also appeared on the school's blackboard newspaper.

G. "Gold List Title"

Because of the frequent praise from the school leaders and teachers, as well as the praise from my classmates, I was a little fluttering. I forgot that I was a revision student, I couldn't afford to fail, and I made a fatal mistake in the school I applied for, which almost ruined my life.

The year of repetition is about to pass, and it's time for the sprint stage and the school entrance examination. At this time, a few of our classmates who were better at studying were discussing what school to apply for. At that time, there were 6 high schools in our county, and of course the best quality of education was No. 1 Middle School. I don't know who said that I wanted to apply for the first middle school, I was hesitating at the time, and someone said, you study so well, who would dare to report if you don't report? At this time, I was so fooled by others that I really forgot the ancient adage of "there is a sky outside the sky, and there are people outside the people", and as soon as I was emotional, I said: "Okay, let's apply for the first middle school!" ”。 In this way, under my "flickering", I and Yang Yusheng, Wang Guijun, Ding Jianli, Liu Zhongzhong and other five people applied for the first middle school.

After the exam, everyone was still full of confidence and prepared to continue to work hard after entering high school and sprint to college. But after looking at the list, everyone was depressed, and we were "wiped out", and everyone fell to Sun Shan.

At this point, my head "buzzed" loudly. This result was something I never expected, and it was devastating for me! Because, I'm a review student, and they're all fresh graduates. If they can't pass the exam, they can repeat it, but what can I do?

More than 30 miles from the county No. 1 middle school to my home, I walked back with my bicycle. I cried as I walked along the way, and I couldn't stop crying from sadness. I feel so sorry for my parents, who have failed to live up to their high hopes despite all the difficulties that have allowed me to repeat my studies for a year.

When I walked into the village, my tears once again gushed out like a flood flood that had opened the floodgates. I didn't dare to go home, but went to Liang Shangquan's grandfather's house.

On the road of my life, which was on the verge of despair, it was this elder who gave me meticulous care and comfort. He is someone I will never forget in my life.

Grandpa Shangquan is also a man with a rough fate. He went to school in Qingdao with his father and was a top student who graduated from Qingdao No. 2 Middle School. Later, due to other reasons, he was unable to go to university, and because of the composition problem, he has been accompanying his mother in the countryside to farm, beg, and dig rivers, and stayed for 18 years, endured a lot of hardships, and later took over to work in Qingdao City.

After the Third Plenary Session of the 11th Central Committee in 1978, he was arranged to work as a private teacher in the pioneer of a neighboring village. During my year of restudy, he helped me a lot in both Chinese and mathematics. This time, after I told him about the failure of the list, he helped me analyze it and said, "It is more than enough to get into an average high school with your grades, but it is still a little short of a middle school." What do you want to do in the future? I mustered up the courage to say, "I still want to continue studying, but I don't think my father will agree to the situation at home." I really don't know what to do anymore? He pondered for a moment and said, "Poor and strong, do not fall into the ambition of the clouds." I appreciate your never-defeating spirit. In this way, if you go back to Dayang School to repeat your studies, it won't look good, so you can go to the pioneer school with me! I know the situation of your family, and I will pay for your books and tuition, so you can rest assured. When I heard this, I was so excited that I wanted to kneel down and kowtow to him. But I know he doesn't need it, what he needs is my future competitiveness and success! But I still have concerns that my father won't agree. He seemed to see what I was thinking, so he said, "Go back with confidence, I will do your parents' work." ”

I pushed my bicycle back home and waited for my father's "severe punishment".

Unexpectedly, when my father saw me, not only did he beat and scold, but also said kindly: "I heard about the entrance examination, and if you work hard or not, forget it, this is fate!" Our family has never read a book for generations, so let's do whatever we need to do in the future! Listening to my father's words, my red and swollen eyes filled with tears. I thought to myself, my father didn't blame, he had changed a lot. If it passes, a year of work will be wasted, and it will be either a beating or a scolding. I heard my father's words very clearly, that is, don't think twice, farm honestly at home, this is fate. At this time, I thought to myself, I am the eldest, my younger brothers and sisters are still young, there is no work at home, my parents are too hard, I am a year older, and I can always reduce the burden on the family. With the current embarrassment at home, I am afraid that it will be wishful thinking and daydreaming to mention the matter of repeating.

One night not long after, it was dark, and I couldn't see my fingers. My heart is as black as this day, and there is no light. Under the bean-sized kerosene lamp, I had just eaten dinner when I saw Grandpa Shangquan coming to my house. He must have come to see me repeat the book, and I knew it wouldn't end well and quietly left the house. Actually, I didn't go far, I kept watching the movement in the house from the window in the courtyard. I heard Grandpa Shangquan say: "This child of the motherland can't be said to be too smart, but he is willing to work hard, willing to study, and very ambitious." The main reason for this failure is to report to the wrong school, and it must be no problem to apply for a second middle school with his academic performance. Hard work is not always successful, but it is impossible to succeed without hard work. If the child is determined, you give him another chance. I also understand the situation of your family, and I am responsible for everything in terms of spending money......" Silence, silence. Obviously, my father is fighting fiercely in his heart, and I can do some work among the six sisters, and this repetition is another year, what if I can't pass the exam again? I felt it was a long time outside, and my second brother Zu Ping came out and said that my father let me in. I entered the house in fear, and my father said, "Just listen to your grandfather, and go to school with him in a few days!" "When I heard this, my heart was sweeter than honey. Under such circumstances, I know how determined my father is to let me repeat my studies again! I said, "Dad, don't worry, I will definitely live up to your and grandpa's expectations, and if I can't pass the exam, I won't be worthy of being your son!" ”

Afterwards, I knew that it was Grandpa Shangquan's perseverance and selfless spirit that touched my father. I call him grandfather according to the seniority in the village, but in fact, he has already come out of the "five suits". People don't get involved with each other, they do their work so hard, and they also promise to pay their children's tuition and book fees, what are people for? It's not for your child's future and development!

Yaoqiang's father didn't let my grandfather pay for my books and tuition, he felt that this was already very troublesome, and he really didn't want to let the family pay for it! I don't know how many good things my father ran to the house and said good things on the night I was going to school the next day, but I vividly remember that my father came home very late, and when I left in the morning, he put in my hand 7 yuan and 5 dimes with a gross ticket and a steel hammer neatly wrapped in a handkerchief. I took it and held it in my hand, but suddenly I felt very heavy and heavy......

It was in this bumpy twist and turn that I started my study again. The new school, the new environment, everything made me feel very unfamiliar, but everything remained the same, "everything is inferior, only reading is high", became my motto at that time. An exam after studying at the pioneer school for more than two months finally won some glory for the old man Shangquan who let me come to school. In the late seventies of the twentieth century, the state also implemented the enrollment of secondary schools, that is, junior high school graduation examinations (called small secondary schools), and all jobs were assigned after graduation, so this kind of small secondary schools were very attractive in rural areas at that time. In order to increase the rate of admission to primary and secondary schools, the cultural and educational group of our commune conducts a unified examination in the whole commune to select a class composed of 40 people called the "top class". The commune's cultural and educational group will concentrate excellent teachers for teaching. In the pioneer school, I participated in the exam with 16 classmates including Dong Fengxiang, Jia Fengxi, and Du Shenyun.

When the news reached the family, the parents were very relieved and earned face on their faces. At the same time, the light of hope was also ignited in my heart. I thought to myself, if I was admitted to the primary secondary school, I jumped out of the countryside and how much burden I would reduce for my family!

The "top class" is located in Zhaozhuang, which has relatively developed transportation, more than 10 miles away from my home. Coincidentally, I was at the same table with Ding Jianqiang, who was admitted from Dayang School and was from our village. In the class, I also saw a few familiar figures: Yang Yusheng and Wang Guijun failed with me when they were admitted to the first middle school; There is also a tall girl. Before the last middle school exam, I also took the provincial secondary school exam, and she was at the same table with me during the exam. During the exam, I once peeked at her test paper with the peripheral vision of my eyes, and she quietly covered it after she found out. At this time, I whispered: Don't let me see it yet, it turns out that you didn't pass the exam either, a little bit of schadenfreude. After going to school, I learned that her name was Fu Xiuzhen, and her father was the leader of the commune's cultural and educational group. No wonder she was as arrogant as a princess at that time, it turned out to be really a bit of a precedent.

When I first arrived at the "top class", I was a little proud and thought that I was the best. However, I felt more and more stressed. In particular, a math test made me feel ashamed. That exam was actually not difficult, mainly to test the basics. There is a question in the paper that asks whether "0" is a rational number or an irrational number? I replied that it was neither rational nor irrational, it was a centrist. When the teacher explained the test paper, he said this, causing the whole class to burst into laughter. All of a sudden, I had a fever on my face, and I wished I could get into a crack in the ground.

The "top class" is really a strong player. My self-esteem was seriously hurt by the fact that I was one of the top two students in every test at the Pioneer School, and I was at the bottom of the math test. At this time, I regretted a little, there was no favor from the teacher, no appreciation from my classmates, even if I asked the teacher questions, and I was not as enthusiastic and patient as the previous teacher.

As the saying goes, there is no turning back when you open a bow. Thinking of the expectant eyes of my parents and the ardent expectations of my former teachers, I have no way back but to move forward bravely.

Since we were far from home, we lived in the dormitory of the school. In a house of more than 10 square meters, covered with straw and wheat straw, 12 of our students lived. Since everyone was busy with their studies and there was no place to take a shower, the smell in the room was very unpleasant. For meals, we bring cornmeal and hand it in, and the school canteen makes porridge uniformly; The staple food is brought from home, and the canteen is responsible for heating it. Since there were 8 people in my family at that time, only my parents earned work and owed the production team work every year, so the corn was only enough to make porridge and drink, and the staple food was sweet potato. I ate "heartburn" and sour water every day, but there was nothing I could do. Sometimes, when my mother knew that I was growing and tired from studying, I would secretly put a few tortillas in my pocket with dry food, but I always quietly put them back when I knew it. Anyway, I sit in the classroom and don't work, but I still let my working father, mother, or younger siblings eat (my mother is never willing to eat). I'm good enough to eat sweet potatoes, but what do I eat at home? In summer, eat wild vegetables such as elm leaves, locust flowers, and alfalfa, which are put on some cornmeal and steamed in a pot to eat; In winter, the elm bark is dried and ground into noodles, or the dried sweet potatoes are ground into noodles and rubbed into shreds and boiled to eat. I still vividly remember one day in the late spring of 1976, I ate my mother's vegetable cake made of wild vegetables and went to school. When I got home, I found that a family of 8 and 7 people were vomiting and diarrhea, and only the fourth brother Zubao, who was more than 2 years old, was safe and sound (he was too young to eat, he ate batter). It turned out that the kind of "wild vegetables" we ate were poisonous, and we got food poisoning.

At that time, I felt that the best food in the world was the "batter" that my fourth brother Zu Bao ate. That is to mix the flour with water, drop a few drops of oil in the pot, and then pour the mixed noodles into the pot and bake them into palm-sized and soft round cakes. Once, when there was no one at home, I secretly tore off a small piece and ate it, and I felt so fragrant and delicious! I thought to myself, if only I could eat this one day.

At school every day, when I was eating, I saw others with cakes and nests; There are also steamed buns and buns. In order to be afraid that others would see me eating sweet potatoes all the time, every time I served porridge, I would take the sweet potatoes wrapped in a handkerchief to eat outside the school. After eating, I walked around the school twice, reciting mathematical formulas and physical theorems by the way, and when I returned to the classroom, everyone else had finished eating. At that time, it was the time to grow the body, and it seemed that I could eat it very well, and I had planned to take it for three days (I went home once a week on Wednesday in the middle to get it), but I ate either one or two less meals. There is no way, there is only to drink porridge, every time I rush to brush the bucket of porridge, others think I perform well, in fact, I first take the bucket to a place that others can't see, and half a bowl of porridge can be empty from the bucket, which just comforts my rumbling stomach.

Mencius said, "Heaven will descend on the people, and they must first suffer their minds, strain their muscles and bones, starve their bodies and skins, and empty their bodies......"

In those hard days, in order to relax, our classmates often played slapsticks and told jokes to entertain themselves.

I don't know why, but I felt that the winter was much colder than it is now. We came out to pee at night, and the urine was still steaming in the air, and it quickly froze underground.

Once, a classmate surnamed Wang came out to pee in the middle of the night, but somehow suffered from the wind, and the "thing" of peeing was so swollen that he couldn't go to class. At that time, it happened to be the beautiful female teacher Jia Xiufen who taught mathematics. Because the student surnamed Wang studied very well, the teacher paid more attention and found that he didn't come to class, so he asked, "What's the matter?" Several of us looked at each other, all holding back laughter, and neither of us spoke. The female teacher was anxious and said, "What the hell is going on?" All his classmates in the dormitory with him stood up! "We all stood up. Seeing that he really couldn't hide it, a classmate surnamed Yang said in a hurry: "He said he had a headache!" More than 10 of our classmates who knew the inside story couldn't help but laugh with a "flutter" sound.

The unbearable days are finally over, and it's time to fill in the volunteers. Our examination is a pilot in the province, that is, the enrollment of primary secondary school and high school is the same paper. The best in the first middle school, and the middle school in the middle school, this "heat" is really difficult to grasp. I found Wang Guijun, who was unsuccessful with me last time, to discuss what school to apply for. "I want to apply for Station Middle School," he said. Because the quality of education is slightly worse than that of No. 1 Middle School, and it is better than other middle schools. Moreover, the location is in the city, the transportation is convenient and the environment is good. "My academic performance and that of him are on par with each other. I thought for a moment and said, "Okay, then let's apply for the station middle school together." "However, when it was time to officially fill in the volunteers, because I couldn't afford to fail again, I thought to myself, the conditions of the station middle school are so good, there must be a lot of applicants, so I quietly filled in the county No. 2 middle school, which is slightly lower than the station middle school. After returning home after the exam, in order to make up for the debt brought to the family by repeating my studies in the past two years, I rushed to do both light and heavy work, and tried to take on some of the tasks on the shoulders of my parents and help them unload some of the heaviness and sorrow of life. At this time, I was also thinking deeply about a question: that is, if I am admitted to high school, what will happen to the tuition fee?

A few days later, I went to work as a small worker in the sideline team (now called the construction team) where the third uncle Liang Renzhong and the fourth uncle Liang Renhua were (the fourth uncle was not promoted in the army, this is a craft learned in the army). The big worker is responsible for building the building, and the small worker is doing odd jobs such as mud, moving bricks and transporting stones. On the first day of my work, I was responsible for throwing bricks on the wall of a building more than 10 meters high, which was okay at first, but the more I threw it, the more tired I became, but I gritted my teeth and persevered, and when I finished work in the evening, I was so tired that it was a little difficult to walk. After dinner, the third and fourth uncles were very distressed when they saw the four or five blood blisters on my hands and persuaded me to go back and stop doing it, but I shook my head and said, "I can persevere!" "At that time, I had only one belief: to earn my school fees and not let my parents borrow money for me.

The sideline team goes to work every day before dawn, and only finishes work when it gets dark and can't be seen, and it is more than ten hours a day. During this time, I didn't brush my teeth every day, didn't take a bath, performed positively when I went to work (in order to earn more money), and slept on my head after eating after work (in order to accumulate strength and persevere), after more than 20 days, my hands grinded out thick calluses, and people were dark and strong, and basically adapted to the hard work of the sideline team. At this time, news came from home: I was admitted to the county No. 2 middle school with a total score of 432 in five subjects (100 points each).

When the comrades on the side team heard the news, they all congratulated me. Of course, the third and fourth uncles were even happier. They helped me pack my things, tied up the quilt and said, "Hurry up and go home and get ready, study hard at school, and strive to be admitted to university, I don't want you to do this again in this life." I said, "It's still early to go to school, I have to work for 30 days to settle the bill." "And so I did it for 30 days. It was also the hardest, most tiring, and most helpless 30 days of my life. Perhaps since then, I have strengthened my mind that I must flee the countryside and poverty.

When I handed over the more than 30 yuan I had earned with hard work for the first time since I grew up to my father, I felt infinitely comfortable and proud, and felt that I had finally done a little bit of care and responsibility for my parents.

County No. 2 Middle School is located in Lunzhen Town, more than 10 kilometers south of the county seat, nearly 15 kilometers away from my home. Founded in September 1956, the school is an old school with a long history, and has cultivated many talents for the society over the past decades.

On September 1, 1979, I was excited, put on the new clothes my mother had made for me, brought my daily necessities and school admission notice, and rode the only old bicycle in the family towards the ideal "holy place".

The environment and conditions of the school are better than any of the schools I have attended. The school was built on the south side of the town, surrounded on three sides by green croplands. The campus is large, with smooth paths and shady trees. In particular, the thick old trees in front of the teaching building are verdant, as if showing off their vicissitudes of life to people.

This time, the school recruited a total of 4 classes, divided into 10 levels 1 to 4. Due to my high score, I was placed in Class 10 and Class 1, with a total of 42 students. Sitting in a high school classroom felt very different because it was a place I had always dreamed of, a way to achieve my big dreams.

H. Choices that exceed people's expectations

When I was in high school, my tablemate was named Zhang Zhongqin, who was two years older than me, and his family belonged to the county moving company. Not only did we share the same table, but we also slept together. At that time, the school dormitory was living in bunk beds, two bunk beds together, and we slept on the top bunk. Because the first year of high school is still one year before the college entrance examination (at that time, rural high schools were two-year). Everyone has just gone through the high school entrance examination, and the nervous nerves are a little relaxed, so the learning atmosphere in the class is not strong.

Zhang Zhongqin is older than me and his home is in the city, so he is well-informed and often tells me some interesting stories, interesting facts and life experiences, which makes me feel that he knows a lot, which makes me very admired.

Due to my different backgrounds, different family economic conditions, and my experience of repeating my studies twice, I was carrying a heavy burden, so I studied much harder than him. I always feel sorry for my parents who work at home if I don't study hard, and my eldest sister Zu Rong, who only went to school for a few days, dropped out of school early to help her parents at home. However, what made me strange was that I listened attentively in class, completed my homework carefully after class, and sometimes secretly got up at night to work overtime, but my academic performance could not catch up with him. What's even more amazing is that there are many courses that the teacher hasn't taught yet, and he will do it, including the sophomore course, which really makes me puzzled. Once, when we went out for a walk after dinner, we asked him for "secrets" in learning. He saw that I was very pious, and told me the truth.

It turned out that he was not admitted to college after graduating from high school, and he started from high school again to lay a solid foundation and prepare to take the university entrance examination again. Liu Chunhua, who has a good relationship with the two of us like him, also accounts for more than half of our entire class. Listening to his words, I was dumbfounded. I thought to myself, I was admitted to junior high school, and I was still very new to the high school curriculum, so it was difficult to catch up with them no matter how hard I tried! Not to mention that the exam is too learned, then the bamboo basket must be empty.

That night, I tossed and turned in bed and couldn't sleep. What should I do? If you can't get into college in the last two years of high school, all this is not in vain. Two years, more than 700 days and nights, how can I repay the hard work of my parents and the dedication of my younger brothers and sisters? If you don't get in, it will take two years to repeat the exam, which is a pity.

While I was struggling with my thoughts, an "encounter" when I went home to get dry food finally made me make up my mind. At that time, several students in my village who were in junior high school in No. 2 Middle School shouted for me to go together. They were much younger than me, and they were all shorter than me. At that time, the family was busy harvesting sweet potatoes, and I had just gone out with the dry food that my mother had prepared for me, and my father, who was busy, said angrily for some reason: "Look at your tall stature, you can't lighten the burden on the family, and it's not a shame to come and go with the children all day long!" ”

Since my father was used to beating and scolding me, maybe he didn't care. But this time it brought me deep stimulation and hurt! Because I was grown, I was 17 years old. Perhaps I did feel that I did owe a lot to my family by repeating the study twice, and I was too old to work at home, so I didn't say a word, and left silently with tears in my eyes.

Along the way, my tears of grievance kept flowing, affecting several other students who walked with me to cry with me all the way.

That's when I made up my mind: after eating the dry food I brought with me, I would never go to school again.

Gorky said that suffering is a university. An unhappy life often breeds mature rationality. At that time, if a rural youth wanted to leave that land, change the trajectory of his life, and realize his beautiful ideals, there were only two ways: one was to be admitted to university; The second is to be a soldier. The road to university is no longer feasible for me, and there is only one way, and that is to become a soldier. Soldier! Soldier!! Soldier!!!

At the time, it was my only hope and my only way out.

After making up my mind, I first found my second uncle Liang Renyi, who was a member of the branch of the brigade at the time, and told him my idea, and he was very supportive. I said that after the conscription began, you would register me in case I was not at home, and I repeatedly stressed the need to keep it confidential and not to tell my parents.

This time, although it seemed like a hasty decision I made, in fact, the idea of becoming a soldier has been in my mind for a long time. When I was very young, through watching the movies "Heroes' Children", "Scout", "Crossing the River Reconnaissance", "Shangganling", "Surprise Attack" and other combat films, the heroic images of Wang Cheng, Huang Jiguang, Dong Cunrui and other heroes have long been deeply rooted in my heart. In particular, the self-defense counterattack against Vietnam on February 17, 1979 had a great impact on me. When I heard the news on the radio, I was very excited and excited. At that time, I was still in the "top class", and once when I came home, I said to my mother, "Shall I go to fight as a soldier?" When my mother heard me, she was very upset and said, "Don't think twice about it, read your book well." "At that time, my thoughts were not particularly noble, I wanted peacetime, there were fewer battles, and there were fewer heroes, "heroes in troubled times"! Go to the battlefield of artillery fire and smoke to fight a few battles, make a hero, and never come back to farm in the future. The idea is naïve and ridiculous.

I didn't expect the soldier to go well. On that occasion, our brigade and I inspected the troops together, including Liang Renjiang and Wang Yongzhi. Unexpectedly, after "passing five levels and killing six generals", the three of us were all tested, but when the Ministry of Armed Forces notified me to change my clothes, I was alone. Later, when I came to the army, I learned that I had graduated from high school during the political examination, and they had graduated from junior high school. Human fate is sometimes completely accidental, and a small factor can change a person's life. That's how my life changed. If I hadn't been clever enough to say that three months of high school would be a high school graduate, my life might have been different.

After I changed into clothes, my father, who helped Chen Zhuang's second aunt build a house, came back. When my father learned that I was going to join the army, he was shocked. At the same time, I also feel very sorry that I can't go to the high school that I was admitted to after two years of restudy.

On the night I left, I sorted out all the things I had worn and used at home, including a pair of underwear (underwear was allowed). I silently made up my mind to get out of this house and never come back without doing some work!

It was already late at night, but my parents were not sleepy yet. One is that he is reluctant to give up his son when he goes out for the first time; The second is that I wanted to make a marriage before leaving, but I failed to do so because of my resolute opposition, and I am still trying to do my ideological work.

Here's the thing: one of my father's old comrades-in-arms has a daughter who is about the same age as me, and the two families have long had this meaning, but I don't know it. As soon as I left as a soldier, people proposed to make a marriage, otherwise I would be a soldier for three years, and the girl was not at ease. The father also said: "Three years later, it is time for your second brother to find a daughter-in-law, and you can rest assured that you have appointed us as parents." You also know the situation of our family, people are better than our family, and it is good not to think that our family is poor. I said, "I'm still young, and I don't know what the situation is when I get to the army, so I have concerns about getting married, so let's wait until I work hard for three years!" The father said, "People don't wait for you, and when you go home after demobilization and can't find your daughter-in-law, don't blame us!" I said, "Father, don't worry!" No matter what the outcome will be in the future, I will never blame you! "It was also the first time I had spoken out, resolutely, and brazenly against my parents' wishes.

That night, I wore a military uniform that I was reluctant to take off, and fell asleep in a daze. When I woke up, the house was full of people who had come to see me off. According to the custom of my hometown of Shandong, "lifting the leg dumplings to the ground", my mother had already made dumplings, and I barely ate a few before it was almost time to assemble. After I picked up my backpack and said goodbye to my relatives one by one with tears in my eyes, my father took me to the assembly site of the commune by bicycle. Neither my father nor I spoke along the way. Maybe he really didn't want me to go; Maybe he still blames me for not agreeing to the marriage.

This time, a total of 50 recruits were recruited in our commune. Among them, there are 25 educated youths in the countryside in Jinan City and 25 people in our rural areas. I thought I was okay in size, but when I arrived at the assembly area, I lined up according to the size of the unit, and before I reached the army, I became the "deputy squad leader" (the deputy squad leader of the army stood last).