Xu Guangqi suddenly had doubts about himself.

I...... Am I really a wretch?

A useless wasted man who eats dry rice for nothing?

What can I do for it? What am I here for? What exactly am I doing?

What answers do I want to come here to find? What path do I want to look for here? What kind of reason am I here? I, did I really make such a decision after careful consideration?

This...... Was this really a decision I made?

Why did I make this decision?

Xu Guangqi's brain was in chaos.

It's just that......

There is only one point, Xu Guangqi has never doubted and wavered so far.

He's not a waster.

He was a useful person, someone who forced himself to be useful and would definitely contribute to the country.

This is something that Xu Guangqi has never doubted and has never slackened.

"I ...... I'm not a waste......"

Although Xu Guangqi's expression collapsed and his body trembled, he still used this state to express his only belief to Xiao Ruxun.

"I'm not a waste, I'm ...... I'm a useful person...... My body, is ...... It's a useful body! ”

Xu Guangqi raised his hand and grabbed Xiao Ruxun's wrist.

"Oh?"

A mocking smile hung on the corner of Xiao Ruxun's mouth.

"Useful people? I don't know how you define what you mean by useful and useless, I just know that in this barracks, on the battlefield, what works for me is those who dare to take up arms and kill the enemy! That's what makes a useful person! And you! No! ”

"Not really! I'm a useful person! I, Xu Guangqi, am a useful person! I swore by it! I must be useful! I want to serve my country! I want to go down in history!! ”

Xu Guangqi suddenly roared loudly.

"Then pick up this pole and kill a northern captive for me to see! Prove that you are a useful person! If you want to serve the country, then you will go and kill the enemy! This is to serve the country! ”

Xiao Ruxun's roar was louder than his.

"I ...... I ......"

Xu Guangqi's breath was trembling, he gasped violently, and his gaze shifted from Xiao Ruxun's face to the ground, the flint that he had discarded by himself.

"I am a useful person, my body is a useful body, I will never, I will never be a wasted person......"

"In that case, then pick up the gun and show me how to kill a northern captive, otherwise, no matter who you are, no matter how far you can go, you will always be that useless person in my eyes, forever!"

As soon as Xiao Ruxun let go, Xu Guangqi's whole body was paralyzed on the ground, his body was soft, and his legs were naturally soft.

The flintlock was within his reach.

He stretched out his hand and touched the cold gun, and a deep chill suddenly swept through his body, and he couldn't help but retract his hand, but halfway down, his hand stopped again.

Am I useless?

Yes, right now, right now, here, without a doubt, I am the most useless one, I don't know what I have to do, I don't know what I can do, I don't know what I can do.

I couldn't even pick up a gun and kill a person, which seemed so simple.

That's the Northern Captive, the Northern Captive who has been brutalizing the people of the Ming Dynasty for a long time, and the enemy of me, is it, even so, I can't do it?

I am a literati, I am a lifter, but I am also a Han person, a citizen of the Ming Dynasty, a man, a man, don't you even have the courage to pick up a gun and shoot an enemy?

Xu Guangqi was extremely angry at this time, because there was no one in the book he read to teach him whether he should kill people or kill enemies.

Why are they all different from what I imagined?

Xu Guangqi lamented himself so much.

His hand slowly reached forward, touched the gun, and picked it up.

The beginning is heavy, and the heart is also heavy.

How should we bear this heavy burden?

Xu Guangqi took a few deep breaths, calmed his restless and flustered heart, and picked up the gun.

He pointed the gun at his front, and where he was fighting, there were constantly Beiyu who were tied up and stumbling outside to survive, and there were also Ming soldiers chasing them out with red eyes.

His breathing was getting shorter.

And at this moment, a northern captive ran out, stumbling, chasing three Ming soldiers behind him, he panicked, and rushed directly in the direction of Xu Guangqi.

Xu Guangqi immediately panicked, took several steps back in a row, and crashed into Xiao Ruxun's body, Xiao Ruxun pushed him forward.

"Shoot him!"

The cold voice made Xu Guangqi shudder.

The Beiyu still kept running towards him, seemingly completely unaware of his presence, while Xu Guangqi hurriedly raised his gun at the Beiyu with a bloody face.

"Don't come here......"

Xu Guangqi's hand as he raised the gun trembled.

The North Captives certainly didn't hear it.

"Don't come here!"

Xu Guangqi's voice was filled with tears.

The Beiyu still didn't hear it.

"Don't come here! Stay back! Stay back! Stay back!!! ”

Xu Guangqi suddenly stood up as if he was crazy, stared ahead with red eyes, raised his flintlock and aimed at the northern captive.

He pulled the trigger.

And at the same moment, the eyes of the Beiyu suddenly met Xu Guangqi's eyes, and the two lines of sight were intertwined.

There was a bang.

It was almost impossible to reflect the speed, and the lead bullet that shot out hit the head of the Beiyu, and the head of the Beiyu was instantly exploded by Xu Guangqi's shot, like a watermelon smashing on the ground, and exploded.

Xu Guangqi stared blankly at the extremely miserable corpse.

Seeing this, the three Ming soldiers who chased the northern captives cursed a few words, turned around and continued to rush into the prisoner of war camp.

Leaving Xu Guangqi alone to look at the corpse in a daze, for a while, Xu Guangqi shook his whole body, threw the gun out, then looked at his hands, suddenly screamed a few times, and then collapsed to the ground holding his head and curled up on the ground, crying bitterly.

Xiao Ruxun looked indifferently at Xu Guangqi, who was almost collapsed.

Li Rumei walked over silently.

"Governor, isn't it a little too hasty to get him like this? These scholars are very wooden, and suddenly let him kill people, and he can't hold it. ”

Xiao Ruxun shook his head.

"Since he came to me, he has always regarded himself as an outsider, thinks very highly of himself, sees himself as different from everyone else, and treats this war completely with the mentality of watching a play and watching a story, in this case, what use do I want him?

Maybe it was my courtesy that gave him this illusion, this illusion is unacceptable, since he can't reverse it himself, I'll help him, if it doesn't work, I can only let him go, I can't tolerate a dry meal for nothing. ”

To be honest, he was very disappointed with Xu Guangqi's performance during this time.

Li Rumei nodded when she heard this, then reached out and scratched her face a few times.

"Oh, that's right, that's right, it's so much uglier than a recruit's egg, the first time I saw someone cry like this, Governor, he's not going to go crazy like that, right?"

"If you're crazy, you're crazy, it just means that I'm looking at the wrong person, it's not a big deal."

Xiao Ruxun turned around and walked to the edge of his seat and sat down.

"Does the Governor expect anything from him? It's a lifter, but it's not worth looking forward to, right? At least there are more Jinshi who are more powerful than lifting people, and this guy looks like the first person who didn't get in. ”

Li Rumei has a very bad sense of this Xu Guangqi, and she always has been.

"My expectations for him are not simple, I expect him to be a different person, but maybe I'm in a hurry, he hasn't seen what real cruelty is, what is a real hypocrite, what is a painful choice, I haven't seen those bad things in officialdom, and he hasn't undergone a transformation, so now he is far from meeting my requirements."

Li Rumei didn't understand Xiao Ruxun's meaning very much.

"And what is the Governor going to do? Get him back? ”

Xiao Ruxun hesitated.

"Keep it for now, see what happens later, if he doesn't grow, send him back to his hometown! If you can't pass this level, this person is almost useless. ”

"Yes!"

Li Rumei looked at Xu Guangqi who was curled up on the ground and cried bitterly, and pursed her lips unhappily.