It should be rare for the people in the village to see strangers, and the two peasants who were fighting with their hair were arguing one moment, and the next moment I appeared, I immediately ran back to the broken house and pushed the door to the door, and looked through the crack in the door as wide as a palm.

In their eyes, I must have been an eccentric, ragged and unpaved, in stark contrast to the malnourished and skinny villagers, especially the chain mail, which showed a different identity and frightened them who had never seen the world.

I didn't have time to think about it, I just wanted to hurry in and take a hot bath and have a full meal, and then make the next step, the lord here couldn't be unfamiliar with the famous Duke of Nijmegen, right?

The town is not big, in front of the castle is the pool where the villagers fetch water every day, two guards as fat as pigs carry spears and snore like thunder, and there are flags I don't know at the head of the city, to be honest, I don't know as much about the lord's banner as Rolodo, let alone the little lord of this foreign land.

"Hey, get up!"

I gently pushed the sleeping guard, but his rock-solid body didn't move: "Hey, get up, I want to see your lord!" ”

The fat guard finally opened one eye lazily, and the thick fat hung down on his eyelids, blocking most of his vision, making one wonder if he could see clearly.

"Go away, you eyeless bastard!"

He snorted angrily: "Don't make me angry......"

Bastard? I choked on the spot, when was the last time someone called me that?

"Get up!"

Feeling humiliated, I angrily slapped him in the ass and kicked him:

"Open your dog's eyes and take a good look at it, you dare to talk to the Duke like this, don't die!"

Now the two guards could no longer doze off, and they stood up in a rage, like two stone lions, one left and one right, and threw me into the ditch in front of the castle: "What bullshit Lord Duke! ”

The fat guard who accosted me waved his fist: "Get out of here!" ”

The other laughed with his stomach in his hands, as if he was enjoying the pleasure of playing tricks, but when he looked at what I was wearing, he immediately shrank into a ball of fright: "Oh my God, what do you think he's wearing?" It's a piece of high-quality chain mail, a treasure that even the Baron doesn't have...... Could it be that he is really a duke? ”

"Duke?"

The fat guard pinched his chin and looked like a snarky peddler: "That chain mail is indeed very valuable......

When the money was mentioned, the two looked at each other and smiled, and my heart suddenly sank to the bottom: "Maybe he stole it, who knows!" ”

Why can't I beat two bastards with fat brains and underdeveloped cerebellums?

The combat power of the two of them tied together is not enough to catch up with a random peasant who drinks too much in Nijmegen, and it stands to reason that the knight who has experienced many years of bullets and bullets will clean up the two of them in a matter of minutes, at most, he accidentally takes two punches, which is considered an additional damage of the balance attribute, but at this moment, why am I still stripped naked and locked in the wooden flail in the village square?

Forget it, don't think about it if you don't understand, it won't help anyway.

"After soaking in the sea for so long, the iron plates have to rust, not to mention the long time to travel...... Well, it must be so! ”

I used this deceitful excuse to find a high-sounding reason for myself, or I couldn't accept the embarrassing misery in my arrogant heart anyway, and the two fat men pressed me in the stinky ditch and cleaned me from top to bottom, which was really embarrassing!

I was relieved, my senses immediately became sensitive, and the indescribable stench lingered around my nostrils, almost smoking, especially when I saw that the source of the smell was not the muddy muddy road in front of me, but the yellow and clear excrement stuck to the wooden flail, I finally couldn't hold back the retching.

"Hee-hee-hee......"

I thought I was hallucinating, but the sound was so clear in the quiet of the night that it echoed around me.

"Who? Who's there? ”

The laughter was gone, and in the distance I heard the sound of a drunken guard urinating in the city, and I shivered as if I wanted to shake out all the mess in my head.

"Hee-hee-hee......" The voice sounded again.

"Who is it?"

Is there really a devil? Is Satan's apostle tempting me? The laughter was sharp and piercing, like a sharp knife, cutting the eardrum with severe pain.

"It's me, strange friend."

The laughter stopped abruptly, and its owner spoke.

"Next to you, see? Over here! ”

I followed the sound carefully, and at last I could see clearly the person who was talking to me, who was also in wooden shackles, kneeling a few paces away from him.

"Who are you?"

"Do you say me?"

The other person asked rhetorically: "You can call me anything you want, sometimes people call me a dirty human trafficker, sometimes they call me a thief who should chop my hands, and some people curse me viciously as an ugly usurer, whatever, but my peers generally call me the magical Houdini." ”

It turned out to be a thief, and I immediately shut my mouth, as if I would surrender myself to him if I said anything more, and indeed a noble duke should not be in the company of the dregs of society.

The thief who called himself Houdini waited for a long time to see that I didn't want to talk, but instead aroused the interest of ridicule: "Let me guess, oh my God! You're not going to be an emperor, are you? ”

"Shut your foul mouth, or I'll have the guards rip out your vicious tongue!" I didn't have the courage to push back, this sarcasm was quite uncomfortable.

"Oooh, our big guy is!"

Houdini began to laugh sarcastically again: "Did you just say that you called the guards?" I think before you can finish speaking, those fat pigs will fill your mouth with, believe me, it won't taste any worse, and you won't be able to get rid of the faint smell in your mouth after you eat, don't be so angry, my poor friend, we don't have a holiday. ”

Damn it! I gritted my teeth and spat at the mouth, and the current scene really fulfills the old saying: Tiger fell in Pingyang and was bullied by dogs, first let two Humpty Dumpty men who didn't know the height of the sky and the thickness of the earth beat up, and then were mocked by thieves, is God really no longer caring for me?

"Tsk, this thin skin and tender meat is really not an ordinary person."

Just when I felt sorry for myself, Houdini's voice suddenly approached, and I looked up sharply, just in front of him to look into my eyes: "Yo, the beard is quite neatly cut, hey, you can't be the squire who stole the lord's things and ran out, right?" ”

Before I could answer, he shook his head again and denied his answer, and sat down cross-legged, as comfortable as on his own kang, "No, if you committed such a crime, you would have been chopped off to make an example, which turn will you have to kneel on the wooden flail...... Oh, I see, you stole the lord's woman, didn't you? It's normal for the young man to do this kind of thing, don't be shy, let me check if the crime tools are still there! ”

As he spoke, he smirked wickedly and gestured to his feet.

"Oh my God, stop there, stay away from me!"

I was so anxious that my eyes were red, and I shouted hysterically: "Bastard, dare to act rashly and I will kill you!" ”

"Smack!"

The slap was crisp, and Houdini fiddled with the reddened palm prints on my face in distress: "Look at it, I said don't talk nonsense, right?" Young man, if you are too arrogant, someone will always punish you, now it's just a small slap, it will hurt for a while, and tomorrow your head will fall off but it won't grow, understand? ”

He dared to slap me! The anger suddenly went straight to the bottom of his heart, and a pariah dared to slap the dignified duke, this world has really changed!

"I swear to God that I will cut off your head! No matter how far you flee to the ends of the earth! "I writhed desperately, and the wooden flail clicked.

Houdini casually stepped on the wooden flail and looked at me condescendingly, as if he was enjoying the pleasure of this trick:

"I like my temper, like a stubborn donkey, but it's a pity that I don't know the sky and the earth is thick, and you want to kill me? Hehe, take care of yourself first, friend, the guards who pulled you here forgot about you in a blink of an eye, and then the scorching sun every day and the little slut who throws stones from time to time to make you happy, will torture you to death, yes, you still have a bare ass, think about it, the rude village women are unscrupulous to your lower body and chrysanthemums...... Shhh ”

Although I was not convinced, I knew that he was telling the truth, the down-and-out phoenix was not as good as a chicken, and who knew that I was the high-spirited Duke of Nijmegen at this moment? starved to death, thirsty, sunburned, tortured......

I can think of countless ways to die here, but I can't find a way to get rid of it, unless I ......

Anyway, no matter what, stay in the green mountains without fear of no firewood, the so-called big husband can bend and stretch, it seems that after the crossing of the stars and the moon of the rich life of the stars and the moon I am a little carried away, in the life of the previous life, is not my poor self-esteem and pride not let the reality ruthlessly trample again and again?

"Wait, Mr. Houdini."

I saw that the other party was not used to raising his eyebrows, and quickly changed his words: "Friend, I may have been too excited just now, your slap was beautiful, please for the sake of sympathy, can you help me go out together?" ”

"Friends? Call me? ”

Houdini pretended to be incredulous and pointed at himself: "Oh my God, how did you come up with this false perception, no, we are not friends, you swore to kill me, swore to God, forgot?" I'm the magical Houdini, of course the little wooden flail can't lock me, but you're different, with fine skin and tender meat...... Well, whatever, you can't. By the way, what's your name? ”

"Randy, my name is Randy."

"Randy?"

Houdini frowned: "It's not a Latin name, it's like the group of Frankish barbarians in the north, in short, it's very unpleasant, it reminds me of a slut I once did, she is also a Frank, with red hair and green eyes, and a great figure, but this female cousin lifted her pants and denounced me!" ”

Disgrace! I feel that the uncontrollable anger is about to break through the Heavenly Spirit Cover, but I have to remind myself to hold back, if you can't bear it, you will make a big plan! I steadied my emotions and smiled a little contrivedly on my face: "This name is really not good, you can call it whatever you want, how about it?" ”

"Little grass, little grass, it always falls with the wind, big trees, big trees, but it is broken by the wind."

Houdini hummed an unknown nursery rhyme: "Well, you managed to pique my interest...... Uh, how about calling you thatch? Or a pig butt? ”

He smiled and glanced at my lower body, which was trying to hide: "I will help you out, first you have to be obedient, and then, remember to repay, after all, I am not a priest with a cross in my hand, to be honest, I am more merciful than them, although I don't talk about God every day, but I always do something to help others." ”

His mouth stumbled, and his hands were not idle, and he magically broke the chains as thick as his fingers, and helped me open the wooden shackles that imprisoned my neck and hands.

"How's the air of freedom? It's a pity that you can't get rid of the smell, the world is already stinky. Houdini dropped the chains at his feet and clapped his hands as he prepared to leave.

I whispered, "Thank you, friend." ”

Houdini, who had only taken two steps, seemed to be nailed to the spot by immobilization: "I don't care where you learned this disgusting empty word, if you don't want to lock it back again, shut up immediately!" ”

He was so angry that he trembled all over, which made my second monk confused.

"Remember what I said, you have to repay me!"

"Of course I will repay you, it is a quality that is necessary of a gentleman."

This guy in front of him has a perverse temper, and he must have suffered some unspeakable psychological trauma before, so it's better to be less troublesome.

"Friend, where are you going?"

"Where can't I go with my feet?"

Houdini walked to the pool where the villagers were drawing water and untied his trouser belt, and peed under my surprised gaze: "Don't stare at me like you've never seen a man, do you want to try it together?" It was so good that the whole town would drink my urine, and the timid peasant and his vicious wife, the mean Jewish trafficker, the few waste guards, the lying priests, the lords who couldn't move their nests, they would not only drink, but they would also have to thank the Creator for his generous bounty, and in a sense, I became their God of praise! ”

I was even more sure that this was a delusional lunatic with severe convulsions and epilepsy.

“…………”

I pondered the next words: "I have a proposal, I have a rich relative living in ******, of course, he is the cook of the governor, and if you send me there, he will pay you." ”

"Gold?"

"Gold!"

————————

See what I've been doing these two days? Absolutely fresh and poor in Tuscany - hungry and cold, exposed to the wind and sun, begging everywhere, sometimes eating the last meal without the next meal, sometimes simply hungry, Houdini is leisurely, but I am used to living a good life of clothes to reach out for food to open my mouth How can I stand such torture, in just two days, I have gained weight! Don't be in a hurry to shoot the bricks, you're so hungry that you're swollen......

"At dusk on a midsummer night, the sun hung in the west, the handsome son rode a donkey, walked through the corridor drawing water, and saw a beautiful village girl, she scratched her head and made a posture of laundry, she was not washing clothes at all, but made me panic, simply don't hurry, and talk to her side by side......"

Houdini swaggered in front of him, singing explicit ballads and swaying in a broken bag full of leftovers on his shoulder, like his leisurely mood at the moment, but it made me feel disturbed.

(End of chapter)