Loneliness is a knife that kills. Pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info

Loneliness was something that Zhang couldn't feel in the past. Born in the family of Zhong Ming Ding Food, the most important thing around him is people. Relatives, subordinates, and old friends, even if they are daughters, they have much less entertainment than men, and the people around them have never been broken. Even at a certain stage of life, when nothing is pleasing to the eye, I am very worried that I was born in such a big family, and I have to socialize with a bunch of elders and peers at any time, and talk to them about some unnutritious topics.

At one time, she thought about becoming a nun or going to the mountains to be a hermit, of course, she had always been sensible, and this kind of middle and second phase passed quickly, and she did not take action.

She considers herself a person who can tolerate loneliness and likes to be alone and think about problems. But it wasn't until now that she realized that she was so afraid of loneliness and the dark......

shouted a few times Chunxiang, but no one answered. This damn girl is getting more and more disobedient. The originally powerful personal maid feels quite useless now, but now she can't leave her. I had a terrible headache and no strength in my limbs, so I struggled to pick up the teacup and found that the tea was already cold...... This Chunxiang, when she returns to Beijing, she has to be assigned to a little girl! It's just useless.

Miss Zhang naturally couldn't make tea, and besides, she didn't have the strength now, but it was impossible to drink cold water. Hunger, thirst, and illness overlapped, tormenting her unspeakably. I thought that the first two feelings were destined to be unrelated to me, but when I really felt them, I didn't know how uncomfortable the taste was. Now if there was a bowl of rice juice in front of her, the girl would devour it, even if yesterday she didn't give it a second glance.

She was really uncomfortable.

Compared with the physical pain, the inner insecurity has a greater impact on her. It shouldn't be like this...... According to Xue Wu's description, this medicine just makes his symptoms very similar to smallpox, but he will not really be sick, as long as he takes the medicine, he can be cured quickly. How so...... How could it be so sad.

The physical torture and illness made her regret the reckless decision she had made. Maybe he should accept the arrangement of fate to marry Liu Kanzhi, or follow his heart to choose Fan Jin. Either way, it's much better than the current situation.

He hurriedly opened the brocade box, took out the papers inside, and pressed them tightly to his chest. These thin white pieces of paper were like fire talismans that had been spelled by the Heavenly Master and Immortals, and in this lonely and painful night, only they could bring her warmth and strength.

She had already memorized the words on the paper, and she could read the words inside without looking at them. "If you don't cultivate my brother, you must have been familiar with the Heavenly Realm Temple, so you don't need me to introduce the scene inside. I think that with your illness, it is only a matter of time before Brother Zhang expells me away. In order to avoid being caught blind at that time, I decided to find a place to settle down in advance, the Tianjie Temple is a good choice, the environment in the temple is good, and the monks are relatively kind. Especially after I took out the connections of the Wei Mansion and the knives on my body, they all agreed to my request to stay overnight. It can be seen that dealing with people is an easy task, as long as you find the right way and method, it is not difficult to communicate. I went to the Confucius Temple to buy some snacks and wanted to bring them to you secretly, but I really didn't have a chance, so I had to eat them myself. ”

"Before I moved out, I would come to visit you every day, and even if people couldn't get in, I would throw in what I wanted to say. I'm so good at slingshots that they can't stop me. ”

"Of all the people I have seen in my life, there is no one like you, in appearance and mind. I believe that a little wind chill can't help you at all. I can't understand your illness, and I don't want to use such nonsense as Jiren Tianxiang. The most reliable person must be arranged around, and the food, medicine, and soup must be checked by someone before it can be used, so as not to fall for the plot. ”

"I asked an old man today, and he said that this is very similar to a heart disease, and I gave him a tael of silver at the time, and afterwards I felt fooled and wanted to come back, but it didn't work. I don't believe that a wise man as you would be troubled by a few demons, and this should not be the hardship of a woman like you. No matter how much sorrow you have in your heart, say it and you'll be fine. No matter what time it is, there will be someone who is willing to listen to you and someone who is willing to accompany you through all kinds of difficulties. Compared to most women in the Ming Dynasty, you are the lucky one. Think about it more than there are so many people in this world who are worse than you, your mood will be much better, I have come through this way for so many years, so that I can be so tall and optimistic in the wind...... Do you want to hit someone after seeing it? Then get better quickly before you can hit me. ”

In front of him, the young scholar seemed to be beside him, telling him big truths, or telling jokes to make him happy. In addition to words, there are also pictures. The painting is of the storefronts, crowds, and markets of Jiangning City, as well as flowers and trees. Although the content of each painting is different, the theme is the same and full of vitality. In addition to this, there is also the beginning of the stone record, and the unfinished chapter that deliberately hooks people's appetite.

Of course, the girl understands that Fan Jin hopes to ignite the fire of her life through these paintings and unfinished stories, ignite her will to survive, and overcome the disease by herself.

In the last few pieces of paper thrown in, there were also some words that made her blush and heartbeat, such as if you are well, it is a sunny day, etc., which made her heart beat wildly, and her face was red. Of course, if you don't repair my brother's prefix, it will inevitably make people suspect that Fan Jin is a follower of Han Linfeng.

Although reason told her that she should burn these notes that might affect her reputation, she was reluctant. In a short period of time, not only to seek medical treatment and find medicine for himself in the huge Jiangning, but also to write these things to make himself happy, and even to throw letters in, the thought and energy he spent are self-evident, and this affection is not worth everything. Even if you can't have a white-headed alliance with Fan Jin in the future, you want to leave these letters as a good memory and hide them in your heart forever.

Right now, the honey is still there, the Si people are nowhere to be found, and at the moment when he lives in Tianhua Village, Liu Kanzhi in his heart has been killed by himself. But what about Fan Jin...... I wanted to kill one, but did it end up being wiped out?

She herself knows that she can't be too demanding of Fan Jin. After all, my brother kicked people out of the house, and besides, this is a flower village, or a women's flower village. She has seen the flower Zhuang Tiaochen, and the precautions can be said to be leaky, even if Fan Jin wants to mix in, it is not an easy task.

The clause that was originally intended to protect the women in the village from being violated has now become an obstacle to prevent themselves, which is a bit laughable and regrettable. If he doesn't appear, it's not that he abandons it, but he can't do it, not to mention that there are great things to do, giving up his children's private feelings to seek fame, no matter what time it is, it is a high-sounding thing, and there is no way to blame.

Even my brother went to Beijing to take the exam, and it makes no sense to ask a scholar who has no commitment to him to give up his career to take care of himself. Not to mention smallpox...... Why should a scholar with a bright future give up his future for a woman who has smallpox? This request is ...... to Brother Fan It's not fair.

Although this one is not the end, the next subject can also be examined. But the girl knew that Fan Jin, a Guangdong Yakui, was actually a very conspicuous existence in the imperial examination army. It still has a relationship with the fame of this subject, and there is still some possibility of a fight. If you really miss this subject, it will be difficult to get it after three years. If he gives up the opportunity to play in this department, he may lose the future of Jinshi. For the sake of a woman whose life and death are uncertain, it is difficult for a strong man to make such a sacrifice.

Of course, she understands all these truths, and she can also distinguish the stakes. But it's one thing to understand, it's another thing to think. Human reason can't restrain emotional thoughts, even if she knows that Fan Jin shouldn't come and can't come, the girl still hopes unreasonably that Fan Jin will appear in front of her like a fairy falling from the sky. If he was at this time, he would definitely throw himself into his arms desperately, and she didn't care what anyone said.

But...... This can only be a dream.

The originally beautiful and proud girl, with a prominent family and the appearance of a country, can be regarded as a princess. In fact, even the real princess of Daming may not be as comfortable as a girl. But now, she has lost her relatives, lost her lover, has no father and brother to support, no admirers to please, and even her personal girl can't shout for a long time. Being alone in such a dark room, cold and hungry, is not necessarily much better than a beggar.

Are you going to die? It was in this darkness that he died silently. It is only a few days later that people find their bodies and drag themselves to mass graves to be buried?

The girl thought

In the door of the mansion, I heard the news that some people were not welcome in the side room and suddenly went crazy. At the time, I thought that it was mostly caused by the abuse of the eldest woman, but now I look at it, but it may not be the case. Maybe it's just in a room like this, and you stay and go by yourself, and you become crazy.

Reaching out and touching his face, he immediately put it down again, damn it, forgetting that he had a bubble on his hand. What if it's bean poison, what if it really falls on your face? I shouldn't ...... You shouldn't pretend to be a smallpox patient.

.

She thought of the scars on her face, the bubbles on her hands, the smallpox patients who had lived in this room before, and even if she had changed the bedding, the bean poison might have been in the air, and she had already inhaled it herself, maybe she had smallpox at this time......

Loneliness and darkness are like magnifying glasses, infinitely magnifying this sad and desperate emotion, the pain in the waist, the weakness of the limbs, and the dizziness of the brain, as if a hateful judge announced the death sentence of the girl. Thinking that she was living a good life, but because of this test, she really faced death or lifelong disability, the girl's reserve and arrogance were crushed by the pressure of reality, and she covered her face and sobbed in a low voice.

"I was wrong...... I shouldn't be like this...... Second brother...... Third Brother...... Brother Fan...... Whoever of you comes, take me out of here, I'm ...... I'm never like this again. Come on, come on! ”

The girl shouted a few times, but found that her voice was dumb, and she couldn't shout. Pounding the table, no one answered, Haruka should have appeared a long time ago to serve, but somehow, no sound came out. The room was getting darker and darker, and the maid was not there, so the girl did not know where the candles were, and she could not light them.

She suddenly realized that she was not as powerful and omnipotent as she imagined, and that she used to think that she could call the wind and rain, but in fact, it was due to her status, and she had enough resources for her to dispatch. Now that I'm alone, I can't even do such a thing as lighting a lamp. I can't cook, I can't do laundry, I can't make tea...... If Haruka dies or runs away, she will soon starve to death.

For the first time, the woman realized that she was actually useless, and she was both shocked and afraid. In a panic, she folded the paper and put it on her chest, which was her most precious possession at the moment.

Barely struggling to get up, trying to grope for a candle, he didn't take a few steps, but he didn't know where he hit it, and the man fell to the cold ground.

In the countryside, it is inevitable that there are rats and other things, even if it is a good room, in fact, it cannot be avoided. In the darkness, there was a rustling sound, as if some mouse or something ran over, and the girl screamed in fright, and cried out lifelessly: "Haruka, Haruka!" Where did you die! Come on, there's a rat in my room! ”

shouted a few times, but still no one answered. The woman who has always held the pearl of wisdom is really scared at this time. She can talk and laugh about the layout to catch the thief, and she usually boasts that she has a million armored soldiers in her chest. But a place of this size, a dark room, and a few rats, was enough to make her helpless and scattered.

Unable to care about her image any longer, the woman burst into tears, shouting for help. The proud princess has become a straw chicken in distress on this night. I barely struggled to get up from the ground, and just as I was about to get up, I didn't know where I touched it, and my forehead was hit painfully.

The girl was afraid of hurting herself and did not dare to move again, and wanted to crawl on the ground, but she was afraid of touching the mouse, even if she was not scared to death on the spot. Curled up, trying to shrink yourself into a ball, moving a little towards the corner.

It was at this moment that footsteps sounded.

The girl cried out with joy: "Haruka! Come on! But then he closed his mouth again, put down his heart, and pulled it in one place again, and at this moment, all the cold hairs around his body exploded, and the blood almost coagulated. Because it was only after she let out this cry that she realized a very terrible thing: the footsteps were not Haruka's.

It's too bulky and too hard. The servants of large families must go through basic training, such as walking briskly and without making a sound, so as to ensure that they do not alarm the main family and do not disturb the main family's thinking, which is the most basic quality. I can't even do this, I've already rolled up and left, and it's impossible to serve Miss. So this footstep will not be Chunxiang, or even the subordinates of the Xu Mansion, because of this skill, these subordinates also master. Who the hell is coming?

The cold wind outside the window seemed to blow into the house through the walls, freezing the girl's limbs and heart into ice. His limbs were stiff and weak, as if he was stunned, and he couldn't move at all.

Hands groped around, at this moment I couldn't care about the mouse, I just wanted to touch something and grab it in my hand, but in the end, all I touched was the hairpin on my head. She desperately pulled out the golden hairpin and held it tightly in her hand, and at the same time, the light appeared in front of her.

The light dispelled the darkness in the room, and a woman's dress appeared in front of the girl. It was a very ordinary Yuan-colored cotton jacket skirt in Jiangning, but what was exposed under the skirt was not a woman's embroidered shoes, but a man's cloth boots. As his gaze moved, a familiar face, a man's face, appeared in the light.

"Wei Yongnian? You...... What are you doing here? Who let you in? Get the hell out of here! ”