Yinghui's personality is weak and introverted, and she has been here for a day, but she hasn't found a place to stay. I found an inn, but I was reluctant to open a single room, so I had to sleep in a bunk. Worried that someone would steal the money, the story of the three hundred taels of silver here was repeated again and again - Yinghui clutched the dozen silver dollars I gave her and stayed up almost all night.

"I'm scared of stealing." Ying Hui's face was pale, and her eyeballs were bloodshot.

I took her to rent a house, and then went to buy some necessary daily necessities, and most of the day has passed since I finished these things.

I stood in the courtyard, studying the white clouds in the sky, changing their shapes and rehearsing various postures. But that's not the point, the point is that I'm stupidly studying the blue sky and white clouds here because I don't know how to be alone with Yinghui, especially when there is nothing to do.

"Brother An, come in and sit, the tea is going to be cold." Ying Hui said as she stood inside the door.

"It doesn't matter, the weather is so hot, herbal tea is good to quench your thirst." I tried my best to look good and stepped into the room.

"Brother An, sit down."

"Oh." I sat down on the bench on the ground. The bench was low, so I kept a ridiculous position, facing Ying Hui who was sitting on the bed.

Yinghui: "Brother An, you sit on the bed, the stool is very hard." ”

I sat on the edge of the bed and looked unnaturally around, "I should buy two taller stools in a few days." ”

"Don't buy it, there's no room in the house, it's fine for us to sit on the bed......"

"Then there should be a stool, there are guests at home, you can't let people go to bed directly......" As soon as the words came out, I immediately realized that something was wrong, but I couldn't get the words back, so I shut up in embarrassment.

Yinghui's eyes looked away: "No, we don't know each other well, how can any guests come ......"

A stool that raises a topic that is both boring and silly is a sign of estrangement, a cramped place that only strangers have, but we shouldn't.

We were silent.

Yinghui: "Brother An, you drink tea." ”

I took a sip of tea: "Well, the tea is good, and the temperature is just right." ”

Then we continued to be silent.

Yinghui sat down, and I gave in.

Ying Hui's eyebrows were very hurtful: "Brother An, do you dislike me in your heart and think that I am ...... Dirty ...... Brother An, I can't do it, really, I was about to starve to death at that time, I can't do it......"

Yinghui sobbed.

"Yinghui, don't be stupid, I really didn't think so, besides, it's not your fault, you believe me, I was all mouthed and unintentional just now......" I comforted Yinghui incoherently.

"I believe in you......" Yinghui looked at me with teary eyes: "Brother An, can you hug me?" ……”

No one could refuse such a request from a crying girl, so I put down the teacup and gently hugged Yinghui's soft body.

Yinghui's body trembled, and the woman's body fragrance hit my sensory nerves, and I hugged Yinghui harder.

"Brother An, you, you want me......" Ying Hui whispered in my ear.

I passively asked Ying Hui to remove her military uniform, and Ying Hui's slender fingers ran over my body, which ignited my inner desire almost instantly. I hurriedly untied Yinghui's clothes with my backhand, and my mouth was eagerly looking for Yinghui's lips, panicked and completely ungraspable.

I was like a fish thrown to the shore, as if struggling and seeking, dizzy and tumbling as if crossing the rapids, screaming and jumping and flying.

I gasped: "Like dead......"

Yinghui pressed my mouth: "Don't always talk about life and death, unlucky. ”

"When this battle is over, we can all live in peace...... Brother An, when the time comes, will we live in Beiping or Xin'an? ”

I thought for a while: "Let's go to Xin'an to live for half a year, and then go back to Beiping to live for half a year." The winter in Beiping is particularly cold, well, yes, we live in Beiping in the summer and Xin'an in the winter, do you say it's okay? ”

Yinghui looked at me warmly, as if the things I said were right in front of me: "You are my man, I naturally listen to you, and we will go wherever you say." ”

For the rest of the time, Yinghui and I spent our time in fantasy and auditory hallucinations, thinking about what we should buy in our future home, discussing the salty, sweet, and sour three meals a day, like two children with dementia, immersed in the fairy tale world they weaved, and their eyebrows fluttered and danced wantonly.

Coming out of Yinghui, I walked along the streets of Linmeng, reminiscing about the confusion that had just passed, and I was also surprised by my own madness.

As soon as he returned to the position, Mao Xiaodou rushed over, holding a Zhongzheng rifle in his hand: "Brother Anzi, let's shoot." I have a gun too! ”

The weapons and equipment of the new 200 regiment arrived, and it was an exciting moment, and the new clothes, new shoes and new socks made the Qiu Ba people happy. The armament of weapons is mainly Zhongzheng rifles, mixed with some American, British and even German weapons. Heavy armament is more chaotic, with Czech light machine guns, Maxim heavy machine guns, Browning heavy machine guns, 50mm grenadiers, and two surprising German PAK anti-aircraft guns.

Mao Xiaodou scratched his grass-like head and walked over, and a new set of military uniforms looked fat and big on him: "Brother Anzi, what do you think?" The quartermaster said it was the smallest, and he said it would fit when I grew taller. ”

"If you wear something, you will wear it." Fiddling with a newly acquired British sniper rifle, I occasionally aimed at any target in my sight, and the magnified hiccups in the scope would curse and dodge when they saw the muzzle.

"Aim at something, beware of the gun misfired!" Duan Biao walked over and sat down at my feet.

I put down my gun: "I didn't even load it, scare them into playing." ”

"Anzi, I've heard about it, we're going to counterattack. Damn, this time it's finally our turn to run after the little devils! Duan Biao had an excited smile on his face.

"Hell, a counterattack! From the beginning of the shooting at Lugou Bridge, I listened to them shouting for a counterattack, and five or six years have passed, and the counterattack has not been seen, but the Japanese have been chased from Shanhaiguan to the southwest! "I hit Duan Biao.

Duan Biao: "At that time and now, what did we do with the devil at that time?" Hanyang made old sleeves! Now look at it, tsk, what do tanks and artillery want, in my opinion, it's really time for a counteroffensive! ”

Duan Biao's faith still exists, so he is eager to win, so he is full of confidence. I've been disappointed so much that I'm skeptical that we'll ever have the courage to reclaim what we've lost.

Where did my faith go if it was lost? I do not know. All I know is that in the days and nights of countless guns and cannons, I followed the rout and fled in defeat after defeat, until at last my blood was gone, my anger vanished, and only endless fear remained.

Because when I find out that we have failed without reason, that fatalistic frustration fills my heart. It is obviously a battle of annihilation that has formed a joint encirclement, and the main attack has a distraction, and is responsible for the half-heartedness of the flank. The war of annihilation has become a war of annihilation, and in the intrigue of each other, we repeat defeat again and again.

The saddest thing is that the disunity of the Chinese people and their dependence on destiny will eventually become our natural national brand. A dozen Japanese soldiers were able to escort hundreds of prisoners of war to the execution ground, and then one by one the prisoners of war jumped into the pits that had been dug and waited to be buried alive. One or two who tried to resist were killed by the Japanese army with bayonets and bullets, and the others looked indifferently, as if watching a scene that had nothing to do with them.

I left Duan Biao with a sniper rifle, and he let me see who I was back then—pure, brave, and confident.

And I'm scared to see who I was back then, just as I'm scared to see myself now, one has been lost, and the other is being owned.