My father's gunshot wound was fine, but because the bullet was embedded between the ribs, the process of removing the bullet was very cumbersome, and the operation took more than five hours to finish.

I went to visit him at home and asked him, "How are you feeling?"

My father lay on the bed staring at the roof, sighed and said, "Heaven is reincarnated, everything has a fixed number, I am retribution......

I thought he didn't hear clearly: "I'm asking how you feel?" ”

My father sighed again: "Heavenly reincarnation, heavenly reincarnation......"

I was choked by his plausible answer, and he stopped talking, closing his eyes, according to his previous style in his house in Peiping, which meant that he had given an eviction order.

I had to quietly withdraw, and Ani, who was waiting outside, asked me, "How is Uncle Ann's injury?" ”

I was a little helpless: "It doesn't matter if the injury is so bad, it seems that my brain has been stimulated." ”

Ani was surprised: "Then do you want to find Dr. Shangguan and take a look at it again?" ”

I shook my head: "It's useless. He's sick ...... heart."

My father has known a lot of refugees since he opened the porridge shack, and he has heard more and more real stories from them. The Japanese army burned, killed, looted, raped women and many other evil deeds, more and more poured into his ears, making him unable not to re-examine the beliefs he had insisted on before. This, coupled with his own experience, also corroborates the refugee's claim to a certain extent, that his faith is dying, and that the theory of curvilinear salvation that he advocates is about to collapse, and with it a huge sense of guilt. He finally understood that what he had done in the past was simply aiding and abetting, and it was an indelible stain on his life!

A person who loves face the most suddenly finds that he has done a huge wrong thing, and this wrong thing seems to have no way to be undone, which is the main reason for his depression. The people in the family said that in the past, I heard my father's loud laughter the most, but now he heard his deep sighs the most, and more often it was a long silence.

Tan Zhenshan and some friends often come to visit him, Tan Zhenshan is a person who can see the height of his eyebrows and eyes, he no longer quarrels with this patient, and even intentionally or unintentionally let my father let him have the upper hand between his tongue.

At first, my father was still complacent, but after a long time, even if he was a stupid person, he could see that people were deliberately giving in, my father felt bored, and gradually even the mood of arguing with others became more and more indifferent, and finally developed to stay at home, sitting at home all day long and sighing and frowning.

Shangguan Yusi said that my father's state is a kind of mental illness abroad, and if it is not properly regulated, it may lead to mental insanity in serious cases.

Although I didn't quite believe that my father, who was accustomed to self-centeredness, would be a mentally deranged patient, but in order to alleviate his depression, I began to try to be a filial son, and as long as I had time, I would accompany him around Linmeng Street to distract his heart and relieve the depression in his heart. For me to be so rare and filial, it really made my father's mood a little better, and he was willing to take the initiative to greet and talk to acquaintances, and if there was anything lively on the street, he also came to take a look.

On this day, I accompanied him as usual, walking around the western vegetable market, and I saw that the improvement on his face was much better, so I said, "Why don't I buy you a few birds, and when you are fine, you can also relieve your boredom, right?" ”

My father especially liked to play eagles and birds when he was in Beiping, and he was still sighing a while ago, and those starling thrushes and copper-billed coal who stayed at home in Peking were probably going to starve to death. When I mentioned it today, he was really interested, but his old man never showed his interest, and he said lightly: "Linmeng is not as good as Beiping, my sinful body, carrying a bird cage all day long is not a serious matter, isn't it even more bad." ”

I smiled and said, "It's not for you to go out for a walk on the street, isn't it the same for you to watch at home in such a big place at home?" ”

Seeing that the old man was moved, I took him to the shop specializing in toys near the City God Temple, and before we got out of the western vegetable market, we were attracted by a group of people.

My father walked over with a cane first: "Let's see if you can't keep it, and what kind of showmanship is it." ”

We separated from the crowd and squeezed in, there was nothing to show off, there was a young woman's body lying on the ground, her body was already soaked with water, there was a wound of three or eight bullets in her bare waist and abdomen, it seemed that she had just lost her breath, the wound was still flowing blood, and next to her sat a boy of five or six years old, also soaking wet, crying and crying in horror to call for his mother.

These are refugees who have just fled from the West Bank, and this kind of thing is not uncommon in Linmeng these days, and it happens from time to time. Those compatriots on the west bank who really couldn't stand the torture of the Japanese army, risked being shot by the Japanese bullets, secretly came to the Nu River, and handed over their fate to the rafts made of more than a dozen bamboos, hoping that this small bamboo raft could carry the places controlled by their own countries.

Those who are lucky will make it to the east coast alive, and those who are unlucky will either die under the guns of the Japanese army, or be swallowed up by the Nu River and be buried in the belly of a fish. This mother and son were obviously not so lucky, the mother was shot by the Japanese army in the process of crossing the river, and then soaked in the river, and was able to endure the pain and carry the child here, which is already the last effort that a mother can do.

In my guess, it may have been a family of three or more, but only the mother and son were left alive to reach the East Coast, and the mother finally died of her injuries, leaving a helpless child in this broken world.

The crowd of onlookers sighed and commented that this was a human tragedy that was played out every day, and in this age of self-care, people could do nothing but sympathy.

After hearing the news, the burial team came, they carried the woman's body onto the cart, the child saw his mother being carried away, he cried even more fearfully, and opened his small hands to grab the mother's hanging hands lying on the cart, and the heart-rending cry made people all moved.

"A little child, without his father, how can he survive in the future...... Alas......"

"The people from the nursery should be able to come and take the baby away in a moment......"

"It's all the sins of the little devils......"

"These brutes deserve to go to hell! ……”

People were wailing and cursing, I heard sobbing, and when I turned my head, I realized that my father was no longer crying, and he pointed at the child with his finger: "I, I ......"

He said a few me, but in the end he didn't say anything, turned his back and wiped away his tears.

My father eventually adopted the child, and I don't know if he was redeeming himself or just a moment of compassion. Anyway, he didn't go any further, he took the boy back to his house.

The people of the Crèche are also happy to see such results, knowing that because of the limited conditions, many orphans die every year due to malnutrition and lack of medicine. The best outcome for these orphans is to be adopted by their families, especially those of great fame like my father.

The child only knows that his name is Erwa, and the eldest baby and his father have fallen into the Nu River, and nothing else is known.