(a)

When I opened my eyes, I found myself lying on a hospital bed, covered in a thin snow-white quilt, and the air smelled of iodine and disinfectant. Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info

I gradually recognized the place. This is the rehabilitation hospital in the base, and the day after we arrived at the base, we used to come here for a physical examination.

This is also the only hospital within a radius of tens of kilometers.

I tried to sit up, but as soon as I moved, my arm was held down.

I see you.

You sit at the head of my bed. You reached out and pressed my arm and said, "It's still infusion, don't move." ”

I closed my eyes and turned my head away.

No! I don't want to go back to the real world. I don't want to have anything to do with this world!

I should go back to the depths of that canyon again. I should be by the side of that dead young knight. I should go and accompany him. I can't leave him alone in the canyon where wolves howl, and I can't let his uncooled body be devoured by hungry wolves. He didn't deserve such an ending! I can't accept his ending like this!

I should go back! But where is the door to go back? Where is that road?

Between life and death, we are always like a dice, thrown around by unknown forces, without the slightest autonomy, and we are still struggling to fight for some freedom! How can we have a little bit of freedom!

As these thoughts raced through my mind, I heard you say in my ear, "Idealism, I know you're awake." Rest assured, I won't ask you what you encountered in the canyon or how you got there. Anything you don't want to say, I won't ask. ”

You say, "Whatever happened, those are in the past." ”

I open my eyes and look at you.

You let go of my arm.

I said, "The river." ”

You say, "Have you seen it?" ”

I said, "I see." ”

You say, "You've found the answer." ”

I said, "So the answer is." ”

A big tear rolled down from the corner of my eye, fell on the pillow with a thud, and then, another drop, another drop.

I said, "I don't want to be here." ”

You say, "When you're better, you can leave." ”

I said, "I'm not talking about hospitals. ”

You say, "I know." But you can't help anyone until you're healthy and strong. ”

More tears ran down his cheeks.

My voice trembled and I said, "I hate everything here. ”

You say, "I know." ”

You bow your head. You say, "I know." ”

There was a little tremor in your voice, too.

This tremor reached the bottom of my heart at lightning speed.

I suddenly came to my senses.

How can I say I hate everything here?

You've just put so much effort into saving me from the brink of death. How can I say so ruthlessly and unjustly, hating all this.

How could I hate you. At a time when you can't help but tremble in your voice for my business.

(b)

"Are you feeling better now?" You ask.

I nodded silently.

You say, "When we found you, your heart was no longer beating." ”

But now it's beating again.

All the questions are not over, and there are still a lot of questions waiting for me outside the door.

I felt very tired.

You say, "Heart, stop thinking about things that are in the past, if thinking about them over and over again makes you feel pain." ”

You say, "Put it down." The premise of any problem is that your heart is still beating healthily. Let your heart recover from the blow and let it rest, and at the moment, nothing is more important than this. ”

I'm looking at you. You're right. If my heart is broken, I can't do anything more. But if it keeps beating, what can I do?

You say, "Xinxin, I've done my best to get everyone to do their job so that they don't rush to ask you questions." Everyone agreed. No one will force you to say it until you recover. You can rest in peace. ”

You say, "But you have to be mentally prepared. For this matter, when you are well, you have to give you an answer. ”

You say, "Before we go back, you have to answer everyone's questions." ”

You say, "You can come up with a reasonable answer." ”

I nodded silently again.

Sometimes that's it. We have to lie. It had to be so. Because people refuse to accept the truth.

(c)

When I fell asleep again, you and Director Wang were talking quietly in the corridor of the ward.

"Is she awake?"

"Yes."

"You talked to her?"

"Yes."

"Did she explain it to you?"

"Nope."

"And what are you talking about?"

"I told her that she could wait until her heart was a little better before explaining it to us. There is nothing more important than recovery at the moment. ”

"Ugh." Director Wang sighed: "I really didn't expect such an accident to happen. If you want to come out for training in the future, it will be difficult. Fortunately, I found her, and she was only shocked for a while, and she recovered quickly, and nothing more serious. The people in her family are also very reasonable. ”

You comfort and say, "Let's talk about it later." ”

Wang said: "Why did she run to the canyon? Xinxin has always been a model student of discipline, and she will never cause trouble. More critically, how exactly did she get there? You've seen the surveillance footage, and she's been looking at the glass display case in the showroom a second ago. ”

You say, "Maybe it's more than a second, isn't there a glitch in the footage behind it?" Maybe it didn't happen to be recorded that she went out. ”

"A few days ago, the medical report said that she did not have congenital heart disease. What kind of fright did she have? ”

You say, "Maybe you encounter wild animals or something." The area is primeval forest. People at the base also say that wild boars and wolves are sometimes encountered. She grew up in the city and had never been in such a situation. ”

Director Wang is looking at you. His gaze rests on your face.

You feel his gaze. You say, "Why are you looking at me like that?" ”

Director Wang said: "You are trying your best to protect her. ”

Your lips move. You say, "Shouldn't you defend her?" ”

"You should find out the truth. If she's wrong, you're going to correct her. That's real maintenance. ”

Wang said: "You are not maintenance, but protection. ”

You're a little louder. You say, "She's still sick, isn't she?" ”

Wang said: "I didn't say that I would force her to be questioned now." ”

You bow your head and say nothing.

You were silent for a while.

Director Wang is looking at you.

He said to you in a gentle tone: "Idealism is a particularly good player, your best student. I understand your feelings. ”

He pats you on the shoulder and says, "She's just overly frightened, she'll be fine." ”

You say, "There are some wounds that are not so easy to recover from. ”

Director Wang is looking at you.

You bow your head and say, "I'll go to the cafeteria and get her something to eat." ”

Director Wang stood there, watching your back as you left.

The heaviness of your heart is far greater than you have shown. (To be continued.) )