(a)

When the ambulance door closed, I lost the last bit of strength, and my knees went limp and I almost collapsed on the ground, if it weren't for the S chasing after me to pull me hard. Pen? Interesting? Pavilion wWw. ｂiquge。 ｉｎfo

Just when I felt like I was about to lose consciousness, the ambulance door suddenly opened again.

Director Wang jumped out of it, and I saw him walking towards me. He grabbed my arm. He said, "You, get in the car and come with us." ”

His action focused the attention of the audience on me. I was still wearing a performance costume with oil paint on my eyes and blush on my face.

Director Wang obviously felt this kind of gaze from everyone. Then he grabbed S's arm again. He said, "Come here, too, and come with me in the car to do me a favor." ”

"The others disbanded and went home, and today's training is over," he said. ”

(b)

That was the second time I got in an ambulance. But the first time I was inside, I didn't see anything.

The car drove fast down the narrow street with a shrill scream.

Your head rests lifelessly on the pillow, shaking as the car jolts. You have severe difficulty breathing, and you are unable to breathe air into your lungs.

I saw that they were nervous about what they injected you. They attach you to an oxygen cylinder.

Coach Wang keeps encouraging you to breathe. I already know that Director Wang suddenly got out of the car and dragged me into the car because you said my name weakly when you entered the ambulance. Director Wang was very worried at that time, and this was our last moment.

S whispered to me in an incoherent whisper in my ear, with a face full of shock and great heartache, "The guide locked himself in the gun room. He had a gun in his hand, and we heard the gunshots. He was so painful that he couldn't hold his gun steadily, and the first bullet hit the window. The bullet box overturned. He fired a second shot into his temple. The bullet jammed and did not go off. He kept pulling the trigger, muzzle of the gun against his temple. Director Wang pounced and snatched the gun down. ”

With tears in his eyes, he said, "I've never seen a mentor like this. ”

I was confronted with the night of the power outage in the zone, where you leaned against the wall in pain and yelled "Kill me with a knife, give me a good time".

I muttered, "He doesn't know what he's done." He was in so much pain. ”

I heard vomiting again.

You're spitting up another sack full of blood.

Director Wang pulled me over and asked me to sit next to you.

I'm looking at you. I had no idea I was in tears.

I can no longer feel anything but the pain of your suffocation.

(c)

Stretcher got out of the ambulance.

We also came down. When I got out of the car, my legs were weak and I almost sat on the floor. Wang Gui and S hugged me hard in both directions.

I followed the cart through the hallway. I watched as they pushed you through the door of the emergency room. I watched as the glass door closed in front of me. I watched you disappear behind the hazy glass.

Everyone's life and death are individual, and no one can follow the death of others. No matter how much I love each other, I can't follow you in and accompany you. I can only look at you and walk into it alone.

I saw a doctor hurriedly come over and ask Director Wang and S to have something to do. They followed the doctor.

So, I was the only one left.

I stood alone in the corridors that were instantly empty, alone in the smell of alcohol and disinfectant, alone in the sound of moaning and coughing, I stood alone between the vast number of life and the vast death, and I felt the cold of being in the ice of eternity. My whole body was shaking uncontrollably.

I clenched my hands tightly into fists. I held it so tightly that my nails dug deep into my flesh.

It was at that moment that I suddenly understood the countless pains of life and death throughout the ages. All of a sudden, I was connected to this boundless sea of suffering. All of a sudden, they rushed into my heart. That's how I am, I see, they're all the same. They were all my own pain.

They're all mine.

(iv)

That afternoon, as I stood in the hallway in front of the door of the emergency room, trembling like this, I heard a voice behind me.

"I'm witnessing intense pain. I will fall into such pain. May I experience and understand the pain into which all life in the world will fall because of this witness. May I have great compassion. ”

I hear this familiar call, and this is the text I myself wrote to you.

I turned around sleepwalking.

I saw Kaohsiung standing only five or six paces away from me. I don't know when he appeared. He has a note I wrote to you in his hand. He looked down at it.

He paused.

He stood there looking at me. He watched me tremble.

He continued: "May I be greatly inspired. May I find a way to stop it or alleviate it. May I be able to pass this on to more lives. May I be able to fulfill this wish, and for this reason, I am willing to go through such pain. ”

At this point, he read all the words on the note.

When he had finished, he walked over to me.

He walked up to me and stood down. He handed me the note.

He said: "To the person who wrote this note, I pay my highest respect! She is the most powerful woman I have ever met. In this note she wrote, I saw the ambition and strength that countless men did not have. ”

He said, "Now, I will return it to its rightful owner." ”

He said, "Take it." Heart. Don't forget that this is what you wrote to him. ”

He looked at my clenched and trembling fists. Again, he said, "Take it." ”

He said, "Write it with a pen, and write it with your life." Write it with your actions at the moment. ”

He said, "Stretch out your hand." Hold it! ”

He grabbed my hand.

Under his pincer-like grasp, my fist involuntarily released.

I took the note from his hand. I took it.

When I held it, it was like a strong adhesive was injected into life. The fragments of my life that were crumbling apart were suddenly reglued. It became whole, re-energized, re-energized. It was transformed from a ruin into a temple.

(5)

Many years later, after Kaohsiung also left us, one day, I met Kaohsiung's eldest son, who was just a young boy at that time.

"Aunt Xinxin, can I ask you a question?" Kaohsiung's eldest son said.

I said, "Of course, of course." ”

He said, "What kind of person is my dad in your eyes?" There are a lot of people who say that he is not a good person. He deserved such an ending. Is he really that bad? Is he a good guy? ”

I said, "There are many sides to everyone. Everyone's definition of a good person is also different. It's up to you to judge. ”

I said, "I can tell you something about him." You can look at these things for yourself and judge for yourself. ”

Kaohsiung's eldest son said, "I want to know your judgment. ”

I said, "He has always been very good to me and taught me a lot of things and truths. I'm thankful to him. From the heart. Without your father's support, I might not have been in this world a long time ago. ”

Kaohsiung's son said, "Can I take these words as a compliment? ”

I said, "Yes." You can take them as compliments. ”

He looked at me. "Thank you very much," he said. You are the first to praise Him before me. ”

I feel sad. I was almost speechless.

Stopped for a moment. I said, "I won't be the last." I promise, you'll hear praise from others as well. ”

It was on that day that I told my son about reading a note in front of the emergency room.

Son, your father, that's how he saved me.

He was so heroic, so clever, so merciful.

You can be proud of him.