Chapter 43 Psychological Counseling by Dr. Shu Xiang (B)

Shu Xiang stood in front of the window, his eyes fell downstairs, and the man was standing at the end of the gray-white cement path, smoking a cigarette.

She stared at the man for a long time, it had rained for many days, and the sky was still not good, and heavy clouds covered the sky. The man's expression was indifferent, his face looked a little haggard in the drowsy sky, and he smoked silently, his heart was heavy.

It's probably rare for outsiders to see him like this, right? Shu Xiang suddenly thought that he said that Captain Fang of the control group was a powerful character, "his spirit was so high that it made people cramp", but the Fang Wuying she saw was always such a person: his eyes were gloomy, his brows were tightly locked, and even if he occasionally smiled, it was mixed with a strong bitterness......

She watched as the man crushed the cigarette butt and walked into the building.

Shu Xiang left the window, walked back into the house, and turned up the temperature of the heater by one notch, the continuous winter rain made the room cold and wet, and he could only rely on the heater to ward off the cold.

Soon, she heard a knock on the door.

"Please come in."

The door opened, Fang Wuying walked in without saying a word, he looked at Shu Xiang, and then turned the sign on the goalball to "There are guests", then walked to the sofa and sat down.

"I saw you smoking downstairs." Shu Xiang smiled, walked to the cabinet, and took out the honey grapefruit tea.

"Yes." There was no surprise in Fang Wuying's voice.

"Is the craving for smoking still big?"

"Restraint has begun. The year before last, there were two packs a day, but now two and a half packs are made in two days. ”

"That's good." Shu Xiang handed the cup to Fang Wuying.

"Thank you." He took the cup, "Anyway, it's better than sucking ****." ”

Shu Xiang laughed.

"Laughing at what? Thought I wouldn't suck ****? ”

"Where. Satan roams the land like a lion, always looking for someone to devour. When Shu Xiang said this, the topic suddenly changed, "Have you ever been to a drug rehabilitation center?" ”

Fang Wuying shook his head.

"I've been." Shu Xiang said naturally, "Go see one of my relatives." ”

Fang Wuying looked a little surprised.

"I was in a car for a long, long distance, and I was almost asleep by the time I arrived. The place is in the suburbs, with green waters and green mountains, and the lycoris is as red as fire. A deserted world, and then, I saw a tall barbed wire. ”

“……”

"The barbed wire, like a birdcage, is very high, thin, but unbreakable. Entering and exiting requires strict inspection, and I looked up at the iron cage and thought, the people living in it are really like birds living in cages. ”

"Very close relatives?"

Shu Xiang nodded: "Auntie's daughter, aunt only has such a daughter." ”

"Why do you take drugs?"

Shu Xiang shook his head: "I don't know." My uncle was in business and very rich. After my cousin graduated from college, she was sent to a government agency as a clerk by her aunt, got married and had children, and when the child was five years old, she suddenly began to take drugs. ”

“…… It's abrupt. ”

"When I heard about this, I didn't find it abrupt at all." Shu Xiang said, "My cousin gives me the feeling that I am fluctuating, you know, when people lack spiritual support, they will show that state......"

"The family can't support her?"

"It doesn't seem like it's going to work. She can't seem to be attached to anything, no matter what she is tied to, it doesn't feel right, whether it's work or family. After the drug incident, her brother-in-law quickly divorced her and took the child away. ”

Fang Wuying listened silently.

"I went to see my cousin, but when she saw me, the first thing she said asked me if I had brought her medicine."

"She's become dependent on that thing for her life."

Shu Xiang nodded: "She thinks her life is too painful and needs something powerful to make her forget." ”

Fang Wuying's eyebrows moved, as if he had thought of something.

"The so-called 'addiction' is usually rooted in a deep sense of guilt. It's not really bad, it's 'I think I'm bad'. ”

"But not everyone who suffers chooses to use drugs......"

"It's not just drugs: it's internet addiction, shopping addiction, cosmetic surgery addiction, work addiction, even exam addiction, complaining about others and suffering." Shu Xiang sighed, "People who are afraid can do anything." ”

Fang Wuying suddenly smiled: "Do you have an addiction to shopping?" Shu Xiang. ”

Shu Xiang was stunned for a moment and smiled: "No, when I want to shop, I take out my wallet and count the banknotes inside, and I dispelled this idea - so I don't even have a credit card." ”

"So you're well-balanced?"

"Not every aspect. There are also certain points where I am not well balanced. Shu Xiang made a gesture, "Don't talk about me, tell me about yourself, how are you doing?" I barely heard you talk much last time. ”

Fang Wuying put down the cup and scratched his head: "I'm very busy, and I often rotate in a row." ”

"I see." Shu Xiang smiled, "Let's talk about it, I like to listen to the lace news in your bureau." ”

Fang Wuying laughed: "How can there be so much lace news? I told you last time about repairing the shield, in fact, not only to travel, but also to deal with the ancients who broke into the modern era, in the past six months, the number of people who broke through the shield is several times that of a few years ago, and the shield has been weak to the extent that it is not repaired. ”

"Oh, who's there lately?"

"Well, the one who broke through recently is Shixian Li Bai." Fang Wuying smiled, "He was driving drunk on the highway and was arrested by the traffic police." ”

Shu Xiang's eyes widened in surprise.

"The past is more complicated, in short, people are safe and easy to bring back to the bureau, should have been sent back to the Tang Dynasty that day, first, He Zhizhang's Golden Turtle official was sold by him, and he needs to find the public security organs to recover it, and second, he himself resolutely refused to go, and he had to stay for sightseeing."

Shu Xiang laughed.

"What's worse is that he refuses to live in the bureau's guest house, and has to live with the staff." Fang Wuying spread his hands, "Su Hong's family definitely won't allow him to go, Xiao Wu is on duty, there is no place for him to sleep, so he can only stuff him to Lei Jun's house, and then he goes to Lei Jun's house and causes some trouble......"

"Well, wait a minute." Shu Xiang stretched out his hand to interrupt Fang Wuying's words, "Why don't you let him go to the control group?" Or, why don't you just take him back to Blue Water Bay? Your house is obviously much larger than Lei Jun's, right? And it's more convenient than him, after all, there is a girl in his family......"

Fang Wuying didn't speak, he picked up the cup and took a sip slowly before saying, "I don't want to." ”

Shu Xiang was stunned: "Why?" ”

"I don't like Li Bai." Fang Wuying said, thought about it again, and changed his words, "To be exact, I don't have a good impression of the existence of poets. ”

"Why don't you have a crush on poets?"

"I don't like it, I think they're all crazy people who are addicted to words." Fang Wuying snorted, "It's even crazier than a novelist, 'the profession of a novelist should have been done by people with bad conduct', and poets are even more finished." ”

Shu Xiang laughed: "I thought you liked novels." Am I mistaken? Haven't you seen a lot of Dickens's works? ”

"I love novels, but I don't like poetry, especially poets." Fang Wuying shrugged, "They annoy me." Of course, Li Bai happens to be the representative of a poet, so he has everything that a poet should have...... Vice. ”

"Vice? Why? Shu Xiang followed closely, "What did the poet make you feel?" ”

“…… Naive, living in a dream, opening your eyes in front of reality and talking nonsense. I thought I was extremely brave, running back and forth on the earth, tossing without hesitation, but in fact, I often achieved nothing, you know what an unwise move it was for Li Bai to join the command of Yongwang Li Phosphorus, so many people saw that Yongwang was unreliable, and those who had brains adopted an evasive attitude, except for him. Still, these so-called poets, who still don't know what they're doing, often do something jaw-dropping: the most extreme example is Rimbaud. ”

"The French poet? You hate him? ”

"Very."

Shu Xiang thought for a while, "What do you don't like about him?" ”

"Desperate need to be noticed, often making crazy and extreme moves, and ......"

"What?"

"In the end, I went to business, and the failure was a matter of course." Fang Wuying sneered, "A poet, go into business...... How ridiculous! ”

"You hate absurdity?"

Fang Wuying nodded: "I still hate his tendencies and the madness in his character." ”

Shu Xiang looked at him silently.

Fang Wuying put down the cup, he lowered his head, and raised it again: "I know what you mean." ”

Shu Xiang looked at him with a smile: "What do I mean?" ”

"According to your theory: I hate Rimbaud, but I actually hate myself, and that's my projection of myself—I hate my own tendencies, the madness and extremes of my character, the absurdity, and the naivety." Fang Wuying snorted, "That's what you mean, right?" I'm not wrong at all, I know what you're thinking. ”

"Oh, you beat me."

Shu Xiang was still smiling, Fang Wuying glanced at her and didn't speak again.

"OK, first of all, about the question. Mountains of scientific evidence prove this. Since it's impossible to change, let's not talk about it yet, as long as we don't feel guilty about it, and we've talked about it for a long time, remember? ”

Fang Wuying nodded, his eyes looking at the ground.

"Then, tell me, naivety, madness and absurdity, and so on, how do you define them?"

"Refusing to think about normalcy and blindly acting emotionally without accepting the facts, as a result, things are messed up...... Anyway, that's it. ”

Shu Xiang nodded: "That is, you think all this is terrible - why?" ”

"Why? How much better could the results of madness and naivety be? ”

"What's not good? If it's just one person's character, what is there to condemn? ”

“…… It destroys itself and harms others. ”

"Do you think you're guilty of this?" Shu Xiang asked softly: "Crazy, absurd, extreme, and naïve." Have you ever found traces of them in your own life? ”

There was a long silence.

Fang Wuying slowly lowered his head: "...... I feel like you've learned more about my past than anyone else. ”

Shu Xiang looked at him, and there was a flicker of pity in her eyes: "However, in my opinion, there is nothing crazy and ridiculous about you......"

"No?" Fang Wuying suddenly let out a sneer, "Chang'an City has been reduced to a scorched earth, under whose iron hooves?" ”

Shu Xiang was silent for a moment before he spoke: "I think that a modern person cannot judge the ancients in history, and I don't have this power. ”

Fang Wuying stared at the edge of the cup, watching the white gas slowly drift away.

There was a long silence.

“…… From the beginning, I was mistaken. Suddenly, he said in a very soft voice.

"Got something wrong?"

"I mean, about my sister......"

Shu Xiang closed her mouth, she waited quietly for Fang Wuying to continue.

"I thought I could save my sister."

"You want to save her?"

"My father sent me to accompany my sister, I didn't know what was going to happen, and I thought he wanted me to save my sister - not only to save him and the country, but also to save my sister - if I did, would I be able to go home again?"

Shu Xiang exhaled slowly: "What a heavy task you have added to this child's shoulders." ”

The corners of Fang Wuying's mouth twisted into a sarcastic smile: "Otherwise, what should I do?" In that situation. ”

“…… Did you do it? What do you think. ”

"How could it be. In fact, I couldn't save anyone, and I even had to wait for my sister to come to help. ”

"Why do you say that?"

Fang Wuying suddenly rubbed his face vigorously, then let go of his hand and exhaled: "...... Because my sister said that she would find a way to save me, she said that I was more important to my family and country than her, so she would not let people have a chance to get close to me. My sister looked very resolute, I had never seen her so ...... Brave, resolute, great, desperate. ”

Shu Xiang looked at him with an almost peeping gaze.

"So at first, I was protected by my sister. So...... Can you believe it? At first he really ...... I really kept hanging out on my sister's side, and almost forgot about me - I forgot that it was two people who were sent. ”

Shu Xiang frowned slightly, and she adjusted her posture: "...... You never mentioned this period in detail, even though we have known each other for more than a decade, but you never took the initiative to mention it. ”

"You can also know the general situation by reading the history books."

"No, I'm not studying history." Shu Xiang's voice was gentle and sincere, "I'm giving psychological counseling to a counselor. Paul, are you sure you can mention this now? ”

"I don't want to rely on Prozac anymore." He smiled palely, "Even though taking medication is a shortcut, I can't afford to lose my memory and concentration anymore, I'm not without nothing, and I can't afford that price." ”

"If you want to think so—my sister is two years older than you, is she?"

Fang Wuying nodded: "But women were very precocious at that time, so she seemed to be much older than me." ”

Shu Xiang made a "please continue" gesture.

Fang Wuying took a deep breath: "To put it simply, during that time, I didn't know exactly what was going to happen, but I intuitively realized that something bad was going to happen. I just waited, hiding, like a thief hiding from the last pursuit. Until...... I saw my sister again. ”

Shu Xiang looked at him silently.

“…… When I saw her again, I barely knew her. Fang Wuying paused, he made a simple gesture, "She is very ...... Very thin, so thin that the eye sockets collapsed, so thin that he took off the shell, and he looked like a different person. However, when she saw me, she seemed very happy, just a month, but as if she hadn't seen me for a few years, she grabbed my hand and kept asking me this and that, asking me how I was doing, whether I had been bullied. At this point she suddenly began to cry, as if she was afraid of being discovered, so she cried very quietly, and she took my hand and cried, and persuaded me to hurry back to the house and not come to her again. It left me at a loss......"

"You're at a loss?"

Fang Wuying nodded: "I think that terrible bad thing has befallen my sister, I don't know what it is, but I understand that it finally happened." I think my sister became like this, all because of me...... She became like this to protect me: she was so thin that she couldn't get into shape, and she cried so aggrieved. ”

"Really? Or is it just your own perception? ”

Fang Wuying glared at Shu Xiang, as if he was looking at a complete stranger!

“…… Do you think she's pretending?! He hissed under his breath, "You think it's all her pretense?!" ”

"No, I didn't mean that." Shu Xiang shook his head, "Paul, her pain comes from what she has suffered, and you, are you really the root cause of what she suffers?" ”

Fang Wuying stared at her, unable to speak for a while.

Shu Xiang sighed softly: "Go on." ”

It was a long time before she heard his voice.

“…… Just as I was about to leave, he came. Fang Wuying whispered, "At that moment, the way he walked in, the look he looked at when he saw me, can you imagine?" It's as if ...... It's as if the bullet that is bound to hit you head-on, head-on, with one blow. Bang! ……”

“……”

“…… It lasted a month, this Russian roulette, I lost. Fang Wuying slowly lowered his hand and raised his head, his gaze calm.

asixgunlover。

Shu Xiang suddenly remembered this lyric.

It was the lyrics of a song that Fang Wuying liked very much, and at this moment, it echoed in Shu Xiang's ears, as if it had a spell-like effect.

"A whole month of hiding was in vain, and when I saw him, I knew in my heart that fact." Fang Wuying's voice trembled a little for some reason, "...... My sister threw herself on me like crazy, crying and begging him to let me go, her face was full of tears, but she covered my face with her hands, as if then he couldn't see me, she was so weak, but she pushed me to the door with so much force, begging me to leave quickly. ”

The room fell into deathly silence again.

Shu Xiang changed her sitting posture, and she spoke first: "Later, how?" ”

“…… He picked up his sister and coaxed her softly, telling her not to cry. I watched all this in amazement, and I couldn't understand why my sister was crying, he looked like a good person. When Fang Wuying said this, he was suddenly stunned, but then he sneered again: "Looks like a good person, really, he really looks like a good person—how easy it is to coax a twelve-year-old child, no, I was only eleven years old at that time, how easy it is." ”

Shu Xiang looked at Fang Wuying silently, his expression was a little hysterical, like everyone who fell into a nightmare and couldn't struggle out.

"You should know the rest of the rest, and the next night, he came to the palace where I lived......"

The dehumidifier sighed loudly as if it was tired and stopped working.

The conversation also stopped.

The silence in the room deepened, as if it had been planted into the bottomless seabed, the bottom of the inorganic ocean before the appearance of living things, in the boundless darkness, there was not a single wave, there was not a single sound, even the inside of the liquid was dead silence.

Darkness, so far, hopeless.

After being silent for a long time, Fang Wuying raised his head and looked at the clock on the wall: "It's been an hour." ”

Shu Xiang took a light breath, and she also looked back: "There are still five minutes." Okay, let's talk about something else - what's the joy of lately? ”

Fang Wuying smiled, he stretched out his arms: "I'm going to a concert next month." ”

"Yo! That's nice! Shu Xiang's expression finally relaxed, "Who's?" ”

“X－Japan。 Hong Kong Session. ”

“…… I don't have a sense of visual kei. Shu Xiang sighed, "But it's really a happy thing to be able to go to a concert." Even if it's alone. ”

"Not alone." Fang Wuying shook his head, "Me and Su Hong." ”

"Ah......h

"I'm in for a treat." Fang Wuying smiled, "Last time at the end of the Ming Dynasty, she ...... Well, did me a little favor. ”

"Uh, this." Shu Xiang smiled, "Hey, hey, it's boring, right?" ”

She was originally waiting for Fang Wuying to refute her, but Fang Wuying was stunned for a moment, but she didn't speak.

His expression was a little stunned.

"Hey, Shu Xiang." He suddenly asked, "What do you say...... There's one thing I don't understand. ”

"What?"

"I feel like I'm ......"

Shu Xiang looked at him a little surprised!

"No, I don't know, I can't say for a while." He smiled and raised his hand again, "Forget it, I'll talk about it next time." ”

"Okay." Shu Xiang smiled and stood up, "Be careful when driving." ”

Fang Wuying walked to the door, stopped, and looked back at Shu Xiang: "I forgot to say it last time." Thank you for the book you gave me. ”

"Ah, if you like it."

"I like it very much." Fang Wuying paused, "Especially Heathcliff. ”

The footsteps downstairs gradually faded away, and Shu Xiang walked back to the window, where she stood motionless for a long time, as if she had fallen into some kind of contemplation. After a long time, she slowly turned around and opened the data cabinet, taking out a thick stack of materials.

Under the warm light of the table lamp, she carefully read the words that she had read countless times: Murong Chong, the youngest son of Murong Jun, the former Yan Emperor during the Sixteen Kingdoms period, and the second emperor of Western Yan, was born in 359 AD and died in 386 AD. After his father Murong Jun was defeated by the former Qin Emperor Fu Jian, he was forced to send his 14-year-old daughter Princess Qinghe and his 12-year-old son, the Zhongshan King and the Great Sima Murong Chong of the former Yan at that time, to Fu Jian. ”

After the Battle of Weishui, Murong Chong raised troops with his brother, and later killed his brother to succeed him and led the army to attack Chang'an. Chang'an was slaughtered by Murong Chong, and after that, because he was afraid of his uncle Murong Chui, he refused to return to his homeland, and Murong Chong was killed by his subordinates.

……

Closing the information, Shu Xiang turned off the light, and she cast her eyes into the dark night, as if there was a long-ago secret hidden there.

Appendix

In Paul, it means "young"; "Chong", in ancient times, it was usually given to the children who were lower in the family.

Although this guy is really a natural time bomb, I still like him very much~~

Regarding this chapter, it is obliged to provide a BGM: Leschoristes, that is, the famous song "Spring of the Cattle Herding Class", the boy who sings, who was also evaluated at one time as "an angel face, a devil's heart" - this phrase also suits someone.

The song can be found on Baidu. The boy's voice makes people reverie -

Childhood happiness

It's fleeting

A golden glow

Shine at the end of the path

Directions in the dark

A ray of hope

Passion for life

The Road to Glory ......

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