Adventures in Heaven (novel) Zhang Baotong

After eating, it's time to get down to business. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 I said, "How about sitting with you?" She smiled secretly and said, "Okay." She led me through two small streets, into a narrow alley, and into a compound full of visitors. Her house was small, with only a bed and a honeycomb coal stove. However, it is enough to have these two things in one's life. When I entered the house, as soon as I closed the door, I started to touch her ***Her *** was not as solid and full as I imagined, but loose and soft and small, but the bulging and big bra she was wearing confused my imagination. Suddenly, I felt that my long-accumulated sexual impulse was as loose and weak as this **.

I was a little disappointed and said, "Why is your ** so small?" She smiled, "It's all empty for the baby." I said, "How many babies do you have?" She said, "Three." We all have three babies there. Just as I was hesitating whether to do it or not, she pulled off her trousers and shorts, fell on her back on the bed, and said, "Come on." "I had to take off my clothes. But she simply said, "Take off your clothes and pull your pants down." ”

When I had done what I had to do, the country woman in front of me was no longer attractive to me, so I said hello and hurried out of the little musty house. On the way to the northern suburbs, I was extremely disappointed with my performance and even wondered if I was suffering from impotence. For a man, this is a catastrophe and fear. However, I have had this experience many times in the kingdom of heaven, but I have never been so discouraged or discouraged, and I am young and vigorous, and I have never suffered from disease. I think it's probably because Erni is so unbeautiful and sexy that I can't get excited; Or maybe it's because I've been repressed too much for too long, so that my sexual performance has decreased significantly or I don't feel well. This experience and feeling is not at all like I imagined beforehand, there is no tenderness, no poetry, not even a little emotion and excitement. It seems that the whole process is just an instinctive operation, rather than an extreme love and pleasure for each other.

Since then, I've rarely been to the cottage where she's stayed, unless it's a strong *** that really makes it impossible for me to press. As a result of idleness and boredom, the energy and energy in my body turned more into the need and desire for sex. However, I haven't been able to find a job, and I don't even have the money to treat Erni to a meal. The poor parents, seeing that I looked restless all day, never rushed to stay at home all day, but often tried to persuade me with good words, thinking that after all, they thought that my brain was stimulated and did not want to stimulate me again. I understand their thoughts, but I just feel guilty and can't reciprocate. I've told them more than once that I'm not going to do anything here, and I'm going to leave someday. My parents were very sad to hear this, and they told me more than once that as long as I didn't leave home, they wouldn't let me go hungry, even if I was hungry. However, I don't just live to have something to eat, I also need to have the woman I love and what I want to do. Can I get these things here?

The intense sexual desire grew and accumulated and suppressed in my young and strong body day after day, making me feel depressed and irritable all day long, unable to get rid of it, and even feel that life is a sin. In this regard, I can only use the memories and thoughts of the women of heaven to divert my attention, so that I can temporarily be in that sweet and wonderful dreamlike mood. However, this kind of memory and longing unconsciously strengthened my desire and need for sex and love. And for me, this wonderful and dreamy ** can only be found in heaven. And here, not to mention***** almost everything has been commercialized and has become part of the market transaction. As a person who has strayed into the kingdom of heaven and has lived in it for nearly a year, many of my consciousness and behaviors have become somewhat heavenly, and I have felt deeply uncomfortable in the face of this familiar and unfamiliar social form in front of me, and I always have a sense of panic that I can't live forever.

I don't know if the place where I was born and raised has changed, or if I have changed, but the living environment in my hometown has made me more and more worried and unable to adapt. I admit that I have changed, but my hometown is also changing, and it is becoming worrying and hopeless. On the edge of the grove where I sit, I can see two garbage dumps in the southeast and southwest getting up and down every day, dumping truckloads of garbage on this land that was once densely populated by Tang Dynasty palaces. If it weren't for the white wall, I am afraid that Laji would have covered and buried the ruins of Hanyuan Hall and Linde Palace. It is not uncommon to see swarms of cat-sized rats roaming freely in the dump. Autumn afternoons in Xi'an are often windy, blowing red and white plastic bags on the surrounding trees and dead grass, like thousands of small flags waving in the wind. Above the small flag is billowing smoke from burning garbage. The smoke carried the smell of plastic and drifted dozens of miles away with the wind. What is even more puzzling is that some people secretly dump construction waste on the road leading to the north and south and the village, and even in the fields, making it impossible for pedestrians and vehicles to pass normally.

I often hear people in Xi'an belittle and do evil to the people in the northern suburbs, and call the people in the northern suburbs the people of Daobei. As a result, the word "Daobei people" has become synonymous with the residents north of the railway. However, it is the farmers and residents of the northern suburbs who are really causing serious pollution and damage to the environment in the northern suburbs. In order to attract tenants, they continue to add floors and expand their houses, or to renovate their houses, and secretly dump construction waste in the middle of the road or in other people's fields. And the sudden increase in the number of people entering the city has made the market in the city a mess. Managers seem to have become collectors, who only care about collecting money for a day, and ignoring the hygiene of the market, road occupation and road blockage. Therefore, people who have been to the northern suburbs can often see that many places are almost in a state of disorder and haphazard management. Perhaps it is because the government itself has discrimination and prejudice against the northern suburbs, so it has also nurtured the bad psychology and mentality of the people in the northern suburbs.

In fact, this kind of "northern suburbs environment" is not only in Xi'an, but also in many places, because it is the inevitable result of the densely inhabited ecological environment. It's just that people have lived in this environment for a long time and have developed the habit of having to endure or turn a blind eye. However, I could not bear it patiently and turn a blind eye, because I had become so accustomed to the transparent sky and fresh breath of heaven that I could not adapt to the environment until now. The foul air often made my nose run and I had tears, and the tasteless food caused me to suffer from indigestion and frequent diarrhea. Moreover, the long-term sexual repression is also making my temperament become irritable and irritable. Leaving Heaven and returning home was probably the biggest mistake in my life. It's not that I don't love my hometown, it's that my hometown has become less lovely. This was my hometown in the past, but maybe not my future hometown.

(Please pay attention to Zhang Baotong's signed work "Poetic Emotion" documentary, short prose, life essays and short stories, and is uploading "Painting the Soul" (6. Willing to be punished))