(a)

Xie Shuangcheng stood there respectfully, waiting for my question.

I watched him stand there still, and in desperation, I had to think about it and say, "Commander Xie, I heard that you married a bride?" ”

Xie Shuangcheng's face flushed. He said, "Yes." The minister has a new wife, and he is a matchmaker made by the general. ”

I said, "I heard that the bride is very beautiful, so I will follow you to the hot spring palace this time to serve the soup tea." ”

Xie Shuangcheng said: "It was also the general who sent someone to pick her up to the Hot Spring Palace, and our husband and wife are very grateful to the general for his care and fulfillment." ”

I said, "You have not been married for a long time, you should have been together more, and your parents are still looking forward to holding their grandchildren." ”

Xie Shuangcheng blushed again and said: "Lady Zunjun, your subordinates must work hard." ”

This answer made the palace maid next to her snicker.

I said, "You went back to the front with the general, what will your wife do?" ”

Xie Shuangcheng said: "I am going to send her back to Yangquanguan to serve her parents." ”

I said, "Since they have already come out, I am not in a hurry to catch up with this day or two." It's better to send her to the palace for me to see before going back to Yangquan Pass, to see what kind of beauty she is, to play in the palace for two days, and let Concubine Taishu meet, I think Concubine Taishu will definitely have other rewards and graces. ”

Xie Shuangcheng kowtowed and thanked him repeatedly.

I said, "You've been running all night for these flowers, and you've worked hard, so go back and rest when you get your reward." I don't have anything more to ask. ”

Xie Shuangcheng glanced at me, and he quickly lowered his eyes. He looked at the ground and thanked him again, then stepped back.

I watched his back disappear into the courtyard.

I sat there. Silent.

I sat for a while, stood up, and said to the maids, "Go and see if they have arranged the flowers for the princess." ”

(f)

The next day, Xie Shuangcheng was ready to leave Yunzhou and rush to the front line in Qianzhou. He came to receive the gift from the King of Han.

Liu Shentuo resigned from his busy government affairs and did not summon him again, but directly ordered the chief steward to bring him to the harem to see me.

Xie Shuangcheng once again knelt respectfully in front of me, waiting for the gift I decided to give back.

I thought about it again around the question of gifts.

I plucked three or five petals from the peach blossoms you sent.

I wrapped these petals in a handkerchief and handed them to Xie Shuangcheng.

I said, "Just take this gift home." ”

Xie Shuangcheng looked at me in surprise. "It's a long way to go, and when you arrive, the petals will wither," he said. ”

I said, "It doesn't matter. If it is defeated, it will be lost. You just have to give them to the General, and that's it. ”

(g)

After Xie Shuangcheng left, Liu Shen didn't ask me again what gifts I gave you in the end.

The peach blossoms you sent only bloomed for three days in the cold weather of Yunzhou, and they all withered.

I watched as they gradually withered before they were fully opened.

Xie Shuangcheng met you on the front line in Qianzhou a few days later.

When you get the petals, they're all withered and withered, of course.

You hold my handkerchief in the palm of your hand, and you look at the broken petals.

You asked Xie Shuangcheng, did you say anything when I sent these petals?

Xie Shuangcheng said: "Mrs. Jun said that it doesn't matter, if you are defeated, you will be defeated, as long as you give them to the general, you can do it." “

When you hear this, you hold the handkerchief and petals tightly in the palm of your hand. You don't say anything more.

This is the last flower you will give me in your life.

You said to me in these flowers, "Spring is coming, warm up." And I say to you in the petals that I give back to you: "It's too far away, and you can only be ruined." ”

We just said these things to each other without saying anything.

Deep affection can usually only be expressed in short words. The deepest feelings are usually not expressed in any words.

(viii)

I sometimes confide in you in stories, regardless of whether or not it is allowed by the story.

That's the only thing you can talk about.

In the world outside the story, whether it is a past life or a present life, there has always been no place to talk about it.

But if you really appear before me, if you do appear again and appear, I don't think I will confide in you anything. Because, once something like that happens, in an instant, I'm all right, and there's nothing left to talk about.

All the confiding is a cry for help without drowning.

All the words on the timeline, no matter what country it is from, no matter what it talks about, are in fact a cry for help before death, a cry for help to escape being chased by death.

We keep talking, talking, just to forget that it's standing behind us, and our necks are in its noose.

If we don't have fear, if we don't have anxiety, if we don't have emptiness, we don't have anything to say.

Therefore, a truly fearless person must not be rapper.

All languages, the vast sea of languages, are our cry for help. We cling to the expression of language like driftwood on the sea, so as not to be silently dragged away by death.

The fundamental motivation for writing is that we can't do anything but write.