(a)

Kaohsiung unscrewed the radio. The sound of rock music came from inside the www.biquge.info, and the rhythm of the drums was deafening.

I flinched as if I had been electrocuted, and almost immediately said, "No! Don't listen to this! ”

Kaohsiung looked at me. "This is the strongest voice of the times," he said. Now the whole world is filled with this voice. You are resisting the times. ”

I turned pale and said, "Don't want this!" ”

Kaohsiung shrugged his shoulders again, reached out and pressed the selection button of the stereo, and changed the channel of classical music.

I felt a lot easier to breathe.

Kaohsiung said: "What's wrong with rock and roll? Does it have teeth to bite you? ”

I was silent.

I think of the Desheng radio in your room. Remember you struggling to turn the radio to the fullest, with deafening electronic music and rhythmic drums pouring in. The beat of the drum shattered my heart.

Kaohsiung looked at the expression on my face. He asked again, "Did it bite you?" This time, there was no sarcasm in his voice, and his tone became very gentle.

I shook my head. I said, "No." I don't naturally like to hear such loud noises. ”

Kaohsiung said: "There is no natural dislike. All dislikes have painful causes. ”

I bowed my head.

Kaohsiung said: "I like it naturally, and there are long-standing reasons. ”

(b)

We listened to the music in silence.

Kaohsiung said: "Have you ever heard rock 'n' roll together? ”

I said, "Who?" ”

Kaohsiung said: "You and your guide? ”

I bowed my head.

Kaohsiung said: "Will he like this? ”

I said, "No." ”

Kaohsiung looked at me. His gaze focused on my face like a searchlight. I had to turn my face a little away.

I whispered, "He used to turn up the rock music on the radio so that the neighbors wouldn't hear him in pain." ”

Kaohsiung was silent for a while and said, "You haven't told me about this before. ”

I didn't answer.

The sound of the piano echoed in the carriage. Like flowing water sliding in the wind over the grains of sand on the riverbank.

(c)

Kaohsiung said: "Why choose to come to New York alone, even if you run away from home, there are many more convenient options." ”

I said, "I want to meet someone I know very well on the Internet." ”

Kaohsiung said, "What person? ”

I said, "A web writer, I can't tell you his name." We met at work, and since then, due to our shared literary hobby, we often chat online and talk very speculatively with each other. He was a mild-mannered man. When we talk together, we are talking about literature, talking about each other's hearts, not about men and women, nor about feelings and loneliness. ”

Kaohsiung said: "You want to find security in him? ”

I shook my head. I said, "I'm here to be alone." I just want to meet casually, after all, we've been talking for so long. ”

Kaohsiung said: "Have you met? ”

I said, "No." The day after I arrived, I drove to the address he had given me at home. He lives with his brother and his mother in a small town not too far from here. ”

I said, "I drove in front of his house and saw him and his brother shoveling snow on the road in front of the garage. I drove past them without stopping. ”

"Back in the house, I called him and said I wasn't ready to meet and that I wouldn't be there this time."

Kaohsiung said: "He didn't blame you for breaking the appointment? ”

I said, "No." He said he understood. It doesn't matter if you meet or not. Sometimes people who have a deep heart don't need to meet. ”

Kaohsiung said: "This man does sound very mild. ”

I said, "Yes." With him, there is no pressure. ”

Kaohsiung said: "I know why he attracted you. His gentleness is much like your guidance. ”

I said, "There are some things that you just know in your heart, and you don't have to say them so thoroughly." ”

Kaohsiung said: "That's why you don't like me. I didn't have that gentleness. I like to pierce the window paper directly. ”

I bowed my head and said nothing.

(iv)

Kaohsiung said: "Xinxin, there is something you should know. You can't find a replacement. The world will always be without him. You can't possibly find a replacement. If you want to live with someone, you can only live with someone who is not. If you want to find another him, if you want to find his shadow for comfort, you will be disappointed. You will find that those shadows are not him after all. ”

He said, "Listen to me, if you go all over the world, you will not be able to find another him." Look at the trees on both sides. There are so many trees on the planet, and each tree has so many leaves, can you find two that are exactly the same? No. Each piece is unique. ”

Kaohsiung said: "Your husband, it can't be him. It can't be any man. ”

He said, "You can only find someone else to spend this life with, or you can rest on your laurels and never look for it again." ”

(5)

We were silent again and listened to the sound of the piano.

I said, "Brother Kaohsiung." ”

Kaohsiung looked at me.

I said, "I'm pregnant." A pregnant woman can't be divorced, right? ”

Kaohsiung sat up straight.

He looked at my stomach with wide eyes.

He looked at me like that, and it made me feel like a monster from prehistory.

I endured his searchlight-like gaze.

Kaohsiung looked at me like this for a while. Then he said, "Shet! ”

I looked at Kaohsiung. I said, "Why are you swearing?" Didn't you say congratulations to me? Am I getting in the way of you? ”

Kaohsiung said: "What does it have to do with me. It's you who feel like pregnancy is getting in the way of starting a new life. ”

Kaohsiung slapped the steering wheel hard. The horn went off briefly.

Kaohsiung said, "Congratulations. But. Shet! ”

(f)

I said, "Perhaps, that's providence." Maybe a new life means motherhood, not a return to singleness. ”

Kaohsiung said: "When did you know? ”

I said, "An hour before you knock." At that time, I was making up my mind that I would divorce when I went back, quit my job, and start over in a different place. I feel very uncomfortable, and I've been doing this a lot lately, but I think it's because I'm in a bad mood and not resting, so I don't think about it. I went to the bathroom to vomit, and then, I found a pregnancy test on the makeup cabinet. I suddenly felt nervous. I hesitated for a moment and decided to use it anyway. When your phone rings, I'm struggling to adjust to this new reality. ”

I took out a pregnancy test stick from my handbag and handed it to Kaohsiung.

Kaohsiung silently looked at the display above. It was very clear that she was pregnant.

Kaohsiung said: "It sounds as if I am also on the mission of sending Kannon to the child. ”

I gritted my teeth, grabbed the pregnancy test, and put it back in my bag.

(g)

Kaohsiung said, "Are you ready to give birth to this child?" ”

I said, "Yes." ”

He said, "Will you love him or her?" ”

I said, "I will." ”

Kaohsiung said: "If you are not happy in marriage, your children will also be unhappy. Me and Sue's kids were like that. I know that the gap between us makes children feel very insecure in childhood. ”

I said, "No." Marriage is marriage, and mother and son are mother and son. I didn't expect to find happiness in my marriage. However, I will try to make her happy. ”

Kaohsiung said: "If you don't feel happy yourself, you can't make your children happy. You can't give someone something you don't have in your own right. ”

I said, "When the right people are together, you can form something that you haven't had before." Our mother and son depend on each other, and we can create happiness that we didn't have before. ”

Kaohsiung looked at me.

Kaohsiung said: "It seems that pregnancy can make people confident. ”

I said, "No." It is a person who has self-confidence to accept the pregnancy in this situation. ”

(viii)

The car in front of it began to move slowly.

Kaohsiung is back on the driver.

To the sound of the piano, we moved forward almost 2 kilometers at a very slow pace.

"What," Kaohsiung's voice said in front, "What, Xinxin, I'm sorry just now." I'll reclaim it now. Congratulations on becoming a mother. ”

I looked at the back of Kaohsiung's head. Looking at the folds on the back of Kaohsiung's neck.

Kaohsiung said, "I'll send you home." I will tell your husband, you wife, she has brothers. She has a very savage, hot-headed, unscrupulous, reckless, reckless brother. ”

"You?" I looked at Kaohsiung and said.

Kaohsiung said without looking back: "That's right." I. ”

(ix)

This kid is ANN.

I don't know if it succeeded in making her happy.

I don't think so.

Not yet, I think.