I came out of my aunt's room and met my eldest brother in the hallway. As he walked, he looked at the ledger in his hand, as if he was very busy.

I hesitated, looking left and right, trying to find a place to hide from him, but it was too late. He looked up and saw me.

He said, "You want to get away from me, don't you?" Am I a viper? Growing up, have I treated you badly? ”

I said, "I didn't want to get away from you, I just wanted to make way for you." ”

The eldest brother said, "It's so hard to see you now." You've been with him all day, and I'm almost losing sight of what you look like. You guys have so much fun, it's just me, and there will always be so many things to do at home! ”

I said, "You're the eldest brother, and your father trusts you, relies on you, and makes you important and indispensable in the family, isn't that good?" ”

The eldest brother looked at me and said, "You never know which sentence is true and which is false. ”

I bowed my head and didn't speak.

The eldest brother said, "Okay." Don't embarrass you. Seeing you with your head down like this makes my heart hurt. He said, "Actually, you are still as lovely as before, if it weren't for the bad influence he gave you every day." ”

My lips moved, and I wanted to say that you didn't give me a bad influence, but I held back and didn't say anything.

"But, by chance, there's good news, you don't know yet, right?" Big brother said.

"What's the good news?" I asked.

He said, "Have you heard of the edict of the King of Han?" His father was going to take him to the city the day after tomorrow. His father was going to take him to meet the new king of Han who had just ascended the throne. He was going to be knighted, and then he would stay in the city as a guard officer or be sent to a foreign country as a military attaché to serve the country, just like his father did when he was younger. He's going to soar. We can't keep him in this small and remote place. ”

It's really a thunderstorm in the daylight! My heart turned over in an instant. "Really? Why didn't anyone tell me? ”

The corners of the eldest brother's mouth twitched, and he said, "You think too highly of yourself." It's a men's business, you're just a girl who hasn't grown up yet. ”

The eldest brother said, "What? Don't you think that's good news? Don't you like him to soar? ”

I said with a pale face, "No." ”

With a gloating smile, the eldest brother admired my face and expression for a moment. Then he said, "If he's gone, he probably won't come back for many years." ”

"What?" I asked, confused.

"If the king of Han likes him and makes him a guard officer in front of the palace, he will immediately perform his duties and stay in the capital. We had to go to see him, and he couldn't come back with his father. ”

"Really?"

The eldest brother looked at me and said, "When he has been an official for a few years, someone will come to be a matchmaker, or the king of Han will give him a marriage, he will marry a young lady from the prince's family, and maybe he will marry a princess or something." He will come back to get married, and then take his new wife to continue his official career. From now on, he will be busy with the affairs of the state, and he will have his own fiefdom. In short, he won't live with us anymore. ”

I was distracted by his words. I don't know what's going on out there, and I can't tell if what he's saying is right or not. But, as it sounds, his words don't seem to be illogical.

The eldest brother looked at me, and his heart was full of the pleasure of revenge. He decided to sprinkle another layer of salt on my wound to balance out the jealousy he's been enduring these days.

He said, "There's more to congratulate you." If the Han King felt that his talent was more than just a guard officer, he might have been sent directly from the capital to the battlefield and join the battle in a few days. We have been fighting wars with our neighbors in the southeast, northwest, and northwest, and some of them are battlefields filled with smoke. ”

I looked at him with my eyes wide open.

Big brother stared at my expression intently. "All in all, a good day for you two, and that's the end of it," he said. Now, you're feeling the pain, right? I advised you a long time ago, don't be cranky. He is the son-in-law of the family, and he is responsible for the family. He wants to glorify the lintel, inherit the title, make meritorious contributions, and be loyal and filial. It's impossible to play with you at home like this all the time. He belongs to the state, belongs to the king of Han, and belongs to the title. Sooner or later, he will have to go down this path. He doesn't belong to you. It was meant to be him. It's your life, too. Do you think he will refuse to go to Dongcheng and give up joining the court as an official in order to be with you? Would he be willing to make that sacrifice for you? Will he refuse to go to war because of you? ”

He shook his head and said, "Tell you, he won't." He won't sacrifice anything, he won't give up, he won't refuse, he'll just sacrifice you, he will give you up, he won't refuse to stay with you. Believe it or not, you wait and see. ”

The eldest brother said: "Only me, only me, can always be here with you in a down-to-earth manner, only me, I don't have to go anywhere, I can take care of you every day and all the time." Just like when I was a kid, just like he was before he came back, we could be very happy together. ”

Look at me stunned. A sneer appeared on the corner of the eldest brother's mouth.

He said, "This man, he's not right for you." You will not come to fruition. It's just the first time he's broken you, the first time he's abandoned you. If you don't come to your senses, he will be. He will keep bringing you sadness and pain, and he will keep throwing you away. The path is clear. It's just that you're blinded and can't see for yourself. ”

He said, "Okay, I have something to do now." Slowly grieve yourself. You're so sad, you don't want to listen to me nag here. However, after being sad, I hope you think about what is really right for you and who is really good for you. Stop being delusional and confused. ”

After saying that, he shook the sleeves of his robe, and with a cold wind, he held his head high, leaving me alone, standing there at a loss.

On that day, under Jingyun's various blows and stings, I understood a truth for the first time.

No matter how much I love someone, he is inextricably linked to many things in the world at the same time, and I am far from being all of him, and I cannot monopolize all of his life. My relationship with him is only one of many things he has with all things. He is responsible for too many things, it is impossible for him to satisfy my thoughts alone, and his life cannot be centered on my desires.

If he wants to take care of all things, he can't just love me. And if he wants to love me alone, it is for him to give up his care and sense of responsibility for all things. And if a person gives up his care and responsibility for all things, then is he still the one who deserves my respect?

There are many truths that cannot be understood automatically by birth, but are gradually taught by suffering.

Pain is such a gift. Every time you pass through it, you're bound to learn something. You can't be for nothing.