"Go and put this on the spot. The first-class benzoin of the Western Regions given by the first king. Keep close to the bed. He'll sleep better. ”

When my father had finished giving orders, he sat down on the edge of your bed.

He looks at you. It's been a long time since he's looked at your face so closely. On your face, he recognizes your mother's chin, lips, and nose. A burst of sadness rushed to his throat.

You sense your father's coming, but you can't react to the pain.

You've never experienced pain like this before. You're immersed in wrestling with it. You have to be completely still, without any excess energy expendum, to have enough strength to resist it. You feel that if you move a little, even if you open your eyes, turn over, and say a word, it will crush you, and you will be swept away by it, and fall into that bottomless abyss.

You hear your father asking about Wu Shun's situation. Wu Shun said that the nosebleed was completely stopped. However, your situation is still good and bad. When Dr. Sun came in the morning, you talked to him and sat up and drank some porridge by yourself, but soon after the doctor left, you began to feel sick again, you vomited all the porridge you drank, and then you fell on the bed like this, lying motionless with your eyes closed, unable to speak, unable to open your eyes, and did not respond to anything.

Father seemed to be asking Wu Shun about the fight. You hear Wu Shun's voice rumbling. Their conversation rains down on your hazy consciousness. From time to time, you're awakened a little by the familiarity triggered by a certain word, but you can't remember what lies behind that familiarity. In these voices, you are sometimes pushed to the top of a high wave, and then you are crushed under a deep wave. You vaguely feel that the cables that bind you to the world are loosening little by little. You know what you should hook and keep that connection from disconnecting. But all the shores are slippery, and you can't find a place to put your strength on.

Just when you think all the cables are going to loosen, you suddenly get pulled by something. Touched by this, in the fog in your mind, there is suddenly a little clarity. As that bit of clarity gradually expands, you understand in your heart that the thing that holds you is a very penetrating aroma. It's like a lifeline, piercing straight through the black fog in your head, carving out a clear path in the fog. You try to let your consciousness cling to it. You worked hard to cling to that special aroma. It keeps coming into your heart from the outside, constantly expanding that path.

You hear the outside again. You heard your father say to Wu Shun, "You keep watch over him all night, go and rest for a while." I'll be here to watch over him. ”

You try again, and you wrap your consciousness around the scent. You feel that the turbidity and rebellion in your chest are thinning, and the thing that blocks the air is disappearing. More and more fresh air is pouring into your lungs.

You feel something move. Then you realize it's your hand. It was the father who held it. You feel the warmth of your father's skin, you feel the wrinkles on his skin, the strength he holds on you. Your consciousness involuntarily leans towards that power. You lean on that power, and your heart relaxes.

You hear your father say, "Now it's just us father and son." Jinglong, if you feel a lot of pain, make a sound. It doesn't matter how loud you want to speak. Don't endure it so hard. Wu Shun said, you haven't even snorted. My father knew how difficult it was. ”

The father said, "Don't be afraid to worry and sorrow me. We are father and son. As much pain as your body feels, so does my heart. We are one. ”

An even more intense pain swept over me. You are in pain like you have been torn apart by five horses, and you just want to be able to stop this pain immediately. You feel like you're going to collapse all at once, and you don't have any strength in your body. You can't control yourself in the collapse of the collapse, your body stiffens and twitches, you murmur "Mother" in a daze, and two lines of tears run down your cheeks. You feel like your head is being lifted up a little, someone has put a towel in your mouth, and you subconsciously bite the towel, desperately holding the urge to scream in your throat. In a trance, you feel your father hugging you tightly. The father whispers in your ear, "Bear with me, son." It passed right away. It's going to be over soon. Father is with you. Your mother is with you. We are all with you. "Father's tears continue to fall on your skin. The father held you tightly in his arms and said with tears in his eyes: "Hui Ying, Hui Ying, please bless our child in heaven and not let him suffer such pain."

I don't know how long it has been. Your highly stiff body finally relaxes. You let go of the biting towel and it falls on the pillow. You're sweating profusely, beads of sweat rolling down your cheeks. As the pain lessens, you slowly regain consciousness, but you don't have the strength to regain yet.

Father carefully wiped the cold sweat on your face. You look at your father, and you move your lips silently.

The father said, "No need to speak. Father heard what you were going to say. My father knew that you wanted to say that it didn't matter to you, and he also knew that you wanted to say that I was not filial and tired of my father's worries, and I also wanted to explain the reason for the fight, and I also wanted to say that it was all a misunderstanding, and there was no need to destroy the peace of the family because of this. I also want to ask me to take care of my aunt and not punish Jingyun for this. ”

The father said, "Son, you don't have to work hard to say these things. Father could hear it. Father promised you. I won't be in a hurry, I won't be angry at Jingyun, and I won't blame my aunt. Whatever you want your father to do, he will do for you, and he will do it according to your heart. The father said, "You are my son, and my father understands all your thoughts." ”

The father said, "Father still knows that you are wondering what is wrong with you." Son, you're working too hard. You don't have to carry all the responsibility on your shoulders. Father knows what your dreams are. But this war, it's just too big, it's going on too long. It also takes time to get it to stop. You can't put so much pressure on yourself. ”

"Father knows that you have a strong will, but your body may not be able to withstand such a heavy pressure," he said. There are some things that your father didn't tell you before. Your mother has been seriously ill in the later period of her pregnancy, she was originally a delicate and quiet person, her physique was not strong, you were born, you were very light, and you were born with a weak womb. You can't be too tired from a young age, and if you do, you will get sick. After you were born, your mother has been seriously ill and unable to take care of you, and the care of other people has never been comparable to that of your own mother. You were sick all the time. Your mother is worried. I'm also worried. Even on the day your mother died, you were still sick, and you cried all night, and your voice was almost dumb. Your mother begged me with tears in her eyes, and she said that she knew she was going to die and that there was no way to see you grow up. She begged me to find a way to make you less sick and less troubled, to live in good health, to grow up, to grow into a man who stands up to the sky, a man who can glorify the lintel of our family. When she couldn't speak, she kept looking at me with her eyes. I'll never forget the way she looked at me. ”

The father said, "So, after your mother died, when you were still very young, your uncle and I, after much consideration, finally decided to send you to Qingchuan to follow your master and ancestor. When your master took you away, you rode on his horse, and you looked back at me in his arms. Your eyes are filled with tears. I watched you follow him farther and farther, and the feeling in my heart was only truly experienced after you became a father. ”

The father said, "Son, you must not be too tired. Although you are much stronger now than when you were a child, everyone's body has its limits. You can't cross that limit. If you cross the limit, your body will protest, it will warn you, it will beg you to let it rest. ”

My father said, "Dr. Sun came to talk to me in the morning. He thinks this time is a strong warning to your body that it needs to rest. Your headache is a physical signal to you. It's just unfortunate that Jingyun hurt you at that time, making you suffer so much extra hardship later. However, don't worry, the doctor said that he was sure that you were just fatigued and head concussion injuries caused by exertion, and there was no big problem. After you rest for a few days, the concussion damage to your head will be lessened, and it will not be so uncomfortable. Father said. I have already sent someone to talk to Commander Fu of Qingfeng Village, he will help you deal with things over there, you can stay at home and rest in peace, and then go back when you are completely well." After all, everything at home is better. ”

The father said, "I will also push everything, and I will be with you well these days." Our father and son have been separated for a long time, and the time we spend together is too little. ”

My father said, "Back then, when your mother was seriously ill, she always didn't sleep well, and people consumed a lot, and when the old Han king heard about it, he gave me some of this benzoin from the Western Regions, which was made of all kinds of precious medicines to calm the nerves. Your mother used it very effectively. Because it is rare and rare, what is not used up is also treasured. Now, it's all up to you. It will help you. Sleep with it every day, and you can sleep peacefully. ”

Your eyes are slightly open. You look at the incense. The lingering aroma spit out from the crane's mouth of the incense copper furnace and spread in the air. You look at your father. Your lips move again, and you speak. You weakly say, "Father." ”

Hearing you say "Father", I stood outside the window for a while, and my heart trembled.

I gave up on the idea of going in and seeing you. I silently looked at the window for a moment, then turned around and quietly left your yard.

Father already knows what I was going to tell him, and he is the person who knows you best.

It was from that day that I understood how much my unsmiling father loved you in his heart.

If there was anyone who helped you in your most difficult moments, it was your parents, not me.

The love of parents is incomparable to and irreplaceable by any other affection.

If my parents were still alive, wouldn't it be easier to lose you in the future?