Chapter 4 spoofs Taoyuan
"Liu Bei is really good at recruiting people, he wants to start a business very much now, and starting a business needs a group of people to work hard with him."
"Then you are going to help Liu Bei Kuang support the Han Room?"
"NO, let's come here to play and be addicted to the Three Kingdoms, how can we turn history around, Zhuge Liang is so awesome that he finally got a master who didn't get it, and wasted his life's efforts, fighting with the sky, and I can't do anything!"
"Liu Bei can't get you, so don't regret it for the rest of your life?"
"I regret your sister, Liu Bei will be blowing all over the sky as soon as he debuts, his biggest signboard is the descendant of the royal family, he wants to win the hearts of the people, Liu Bei is generous, but this is all his own routine, if he is not famous for his benevolence, how can he get the support of the group of people who are not used to Cao Cao, so he will do everything contrary to Cao Cao. Why don't you help Cao Cao, and I'll help Liu Bei, let's do it for a while? ”
Dog Erhan smiled: "I can't kill you." ”
"You kid has a bad idea, not necessarily."
"How dare you."
Dog Er and I lay in the hotel for another day, the next day to the street, Zhang Fei's pork shop is open on the downtown street, yesterday did not see Zhang Fei, it is said that Zhang Gongzi drank too much and slept at home.
At nine o'clock in the morning, people gathered around Zhang Fei's pork shop and shouted to buy pork, but the store did not sell it, and then a big man appeared behind him, yes, it was Guan Yu who came.
The next scene is Guan Yu asking why there is meat but not selling, and the shopkeeper points to a big stone on a well, saying that the pork is all in the well, and the boulder is moved to sell pork.
In ancient times, there was no refrigerator, and the deep well was indeed a good place for refrigeration.
Guan Yu rolled up his sleeves, pouted his buttocks, roared, and almost tore his shirt, only to see him exert force with both hands, and the boulder was moved aside by him, and everyone cheered loudly. Guan Yu smiled, clapped his hands and said, "Can the pork in this well be taken from me?" ”
The shopkeeper said, "This ......"
"Quickly take it and share it with everyone!"
The shopkeeper was about to get the meat from the well, but he heard a loud voice drinking: "Slow! ”
The crowd followed the cheers and saw a teenager standing behind the crowd. That sound was drunk by me, it is said that Guan Yu is extraordinary, and he has the ability to be invincible, and I want to extinguish his prestige today.
Guan Yu squinted his eyes and had a red face and long beard. Guan Yu's eyes are contemptuous when he looks at anyone, aiming and killing!
I hugged my fists and said, "Strong man's divine power!" ”
Guan Yu raised his hand and touched his beard and said, "I'm ashamed, it's just a small stone, it's not enough to praise." ”
"Oh, I want to compete with a strong man, how about it?"
"Hehehe, the strength is kept to carry the sack, the hug is uneven, and it is not compared with others."
"How about I compete with strong men and bet on pork in the well?"
Guan Yu let out a burst of laughter, and the meaning of the laughter was to compare my strength, you are really not self-sufficient, he is not strong in me, and he wondered where did I get the great strength.
"Okay, it's up to you."
"I'm going to split this stone, and everyone can see it."
There was a burst of exclamations from the crowd, the stone in front of him, as long as he could move it with strength, but how could it be possible to split the boulder.
Dog Er was sweating at this time.
I walked up to the boulder, walked around the boulder, and then put my hand on the boulder, and I pretended to exert my strength, and in about a minute, there were a few cracks in the boulder, and everyone thought it was incredible, and I called out again and again, ah, ah, oh, my God, and so on.
At two minutes, the boulder clicked, clicked, and fell apart.
There was an exclamation, and everyone applauded.
Guan Yu is indeed a character, he calmed down and said, "Your Excellency is so powerful. ”
"How is it better than a strong man?" I deliberately embarrassed Guan Yu.
"Hmph, you and I have no entanglement, Guan doesn't argue with you, you take the pork."
"Take the pork!" I told the shopkeeper to take the pork out of the well and divide it among the people.
Guan Yu returned to his mung bean stall in a huff.
This scene was actually seen by Liu Bei, who was selling straw mats on the ground from afar, Liu Bei secretly thought: "This young man in front of me is not only talented, but also has such good martial arts, he is really a rare talent, if I can get this person's help, go to break the yellow scarf, why not come to fame!" ”
Actually, I have the strength to crack the boulder, but I have a small oscillation period hidden in my hand, and this oscillator will reach the same frequency as the boulder, and then the boulder will crack.
I walked to Guan Yu's mung bean stall, and Guan Yu squinted his two thin eyes and remained silent.
"How do you sell mung beans?"
"Not for sale!"
"What are you doing here if you don't sell it?"
"My mung beans are only sold to ordinary people, people like you who come to find trouble, and I don't sell them to you."
"I'll buy your mung beans, you said I'm looking for trouble, if you don't sell it, I'll buy it." As I spoke, I reached for the mung bean.
In terms of modern law, Guan Yu at this time is also a murderer, although he is uneven and draws a knife to help.
"If you dare to touch my mung bean, don't blame me for being rude."
"What mung beans, it's obviously mung bean flies!" I continued to catch mung beans, and Guan Yu made a move.
I dodged the feathers, jumped into the open ground and said, "If you can win me, I am willing to give a hundred taels of silver to everyone, and if you can't win me, these two bags of mung beans will be divided among everyone." ”
"Just according to your word!"
I pretended to make a move, Guan Yu attacked me, if I really made a move, Guan Yu might me with one palm, I had already taken out the miniature electric baton, and when Guan Yu waved a palm, I directly gave him an electric shock, Guan Yu Ah, a convulsion fell to the ground.
"The strong man concedes!"
Guan Yu was knocked out by me with one move, and he was numb and couldn't move, he thought I didn't know which magic skill I practiced.
I pointed to the two bags of mung beans and said, "You can divide the mung beans equally." ”
Guan Yu watched his mung beans being robbed of points by everyone, but there was nothing he could do, this electric shock, to say the least, had to be delayed for half an hour.
Liu Bei thought to himself over there: "True gods! ”
I was going to leave the downtown and didn't want another one to come and shout out who had touched his pork.
Zhang Fei is here!
"Who moved Lao Tzu's pork?"
One person pointed to Guan Yu on the ground and said that it was him, and after speaking, he pointed at me and said, "And him!" ”
Zhang Fei pushed the man away, his eyes widened angrily, and he shouted, "You guy, why do you move my pork?" ”
"Your clerk said that whoever can move the boulder pork is whoever, why did you regret it?"
"You guy, you look weird, I'm going to meet you today, and I'll live a hundred tricks with you, if you can win me, I'm willing to admit defeat."
"I don't want to fight today."
"If you don't want to fight, don't fight? I'm going to fight you. ”
I turned around and left, Zhang Fei chased after me, reached out and grabbed my shoulder, this grandson was so strong that this grab almost scratched my shoulder. This is because he himself has to find trouble with me, I didn't want to fight Zhang Fei, but he was entangled hard, so I gave him an electric rod as soon as I turned around.
An electric current hit Zhang Fei, and both of his eyes almost popped out.
Yes......
Zhang Fei also fell to the ground, Liu Bei was still observing, if Liu Bei came up to fight with me at this time, this is not what I wanted, Sanying fought me before he bowed, and I would not be able to do business with Liu Bei in the future.
But Liu Bei still got up and walked over, hugged his fists and said, "Your Excellency is a true god, the competition is over." I think you are very human, you should be loyal to the imperial court, quell the rebellion to calm the people, I have heard that there are eunuchs in rebellion, there are rebels outside, and I have heard that disasters in various places are continuous, so that the lives are ruined, you have such martial arts and intelligence, what is the use of fighting with the villagers here, it is better to go to the government to report the way, crusade against the yellow turbans, and make miraculous achievements. ”
If I really go to level the world, then I can completely replace Emperor Han Xian and be the emperor once, but I'm not interested in this thing.
"I am a person who likes to travel fairy, and I don't like to be bound by people. Now thieves are everywhere, and the court is unstable, all of which are providential, and people can control it. ”
"That's ...... a mistake"
"Sir, you don't need to say much, this matter can't be forced, I will leave first, and I will see you in the future!"
After saying that, Gou Er and I left, Liu Bei looked at our backs, he couldn't calm down for a long time, he had long forgotten Guan Yu and Zhang Fei on the ground behind him.
Half an hour later, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei got up from the ground, the two usually think they are strong and powerful, but today they met a god who made them numb to the point that they couldn't move, I wiped it, what kind of routine did he play, the two were puzzled, and the two stood behind Liu Bei, both embarrassed and unwilling.
After a long time, Liu Bei turned around, he stretched out his hand and put his arm around the shoulders of the two and said: "The two strong men are heroes and heroes, victory and defeat are common things, don't worry about it, go, I will invite the two to drink." ”
"Go to my village, there is good wine to treat, let's sit down and talk in detail." Zhang Fei is rich and speaks more rudely.
The three of them helped each other to Zhang Fei's house, and the subordinates quickly arranged the food, and the three of them sat opposite each other.
"Come, you and I can't know each other today, since we know each other today, it's a great fate, let's drink."
The three of them drank a large glass.
Liu Bei put down his wine glass and sighed.
"Why sigh?"
"If there is chaos today, it seems that such talents are traveling around the world, hateful, hateful!"
Zhang Fei slammed the wine glass on the table: "Where is this?" We can still do without that, if you don't dislike it, I'm willing to help you. ”
Guan Yu also expressed his willingness.
"Well, with the help of the two of us, we will be able to achieve our career."
The three of them made up their minds and prepared to come to Taoyuan to settle their minds. After that, the three of them started talking about me again.
"Today's young man, I think he is also a hero, if I can find out where he came from, persuade him to join us, and start things together."
Guan Yu and Zhang Fei glanced at each other, although both of them were killed by me, they were still unconvinced.
"Why don't you invite him to the village to drink, whether you make a friend or not."
"Okay."
Zhang Fei called the boy: "Quickly go and inquire about the whereabouts of the two strange people in Zhuo County, and if you hear about it, please come to the village immediately." ”
In a short time, the boy found the inn.
Good opportunity, I heard that Zhang Fei has quite a family property, and it is not bad to go to his house to spend a few days, so I brought a few bottles of liquor with Gou Er and immediately went to Zhang Fei's house.
As soon as I entered the door, I said, "I offended you on the street today, and I hope you will forgive me." ”
After speaking, I made a great gift from the Han Dynasty.
Zhang Guan and the others are not stingy people after all, and the two of them immediately released their suspicions with me and sat down to drink.
"Slow, I've got the best liquor here."
The three of them had never seen my glass bottle of wine, and they were amazed for a while, and Liu Guanzhang and the three of them were blindfolded after a few drinks.
I was stunned by Zhang Fei, he completely convinced me, I must exchange a Han Dynasty wine vessel for my glass wine bottles, I pretend not to, he must give it to me, I had to put it in my bag.
I persuaded Liu Bei to start the army as soon as possible, and after offering him a few strategies, he said goodbye to the three of them, and I and Gou Er were going to find Zhang Jiao and take his "Taiping Technique".