(a)

On the first day of arriving at the Bosan base, I had a dream about you while I was sleeping:

One afternoon, I came home alone in the pouring rain. Pen % fun % Pavilion www.biquge.info

I wore sneakers and carried an umbrella.

I walked through a narrow bluestone paved street to a place where I seemed to know the purpose, but couldn't tell where.

The rain was pouring down, the wind was blowing, and the side streets were empty.

The stalls on both sides of the street were abandoned by stall owners who had taken refuge from the rain, and the awnings on the stalls trembled like sails in a tsunami in the wind and rain.

In such a heavy rain, a small umbrella has no defensive effect at all. The rain was pouring in from all directions, and I was soaking wet. My sneakers were full of standing water. Cold socks stick to your feet.

I walked alone on the streets where the water had flowed into a small river.

As I came to a bend, I suddenly saw a strange sight: countless rain lines began to gather in some way under a white light. They are like attracted by some kind of cohesion, and they begin to converge towards the center according to some law that I cannot explain. Then, they begin to assemble into some kind of vaguely recognizable shape.

Then, they started making rattling noises. The rattling sound shook my ear drums and hit my heart. I realized that this was what I had heard on the way to Xiyuan and at my accommodation in Xiyuan.

Then I recognized that what the rain had gathered was a rushing river. I began to smell the cold smell of that river.

Just as I felt a tingling pain radiating from within, I saw you.

I see you emerge from the rain and mist of the void. You emerge from the river where the rain collects.

You walk on the surface of the river as if you were walking on the streets of a city.

You're also drenched in the rain, and there's a constant stream of rain running down your face.

You face the blow of dense raindrops and try to open your eyes.

Your expression looks confused and anxious.

You keep looking at both sides of the street, as if you're looking for something or someone.

You'd love to find someone, but you can't find a single figure.

You're looking for it to pass me. You turn a blind eye to me, as if I'm not in a world you can perceive.

I saw you walk over, and the umbrella in my hand fell to the ground unconsciously.

I brave the pouring rain to chase you after you. I'm shouting behind you, "Guidance, guidance!" ”

But you can't hear anything.

Then I saw that you seemed to have found something on the ground. You bend down in the pouring rain to pick up this thing. You look at it.

I approached you, and I stood by your side, but you were unaware of my presence.

I see you holding in your hand a broken piece of rope, which appears to be a horse's reins.

You are shocked when you see the reins of this horse.

You get anxious.

You start running along the road at a fast pace. You look up as you run. You start calling "Jean" by her name. I hear you calling out to it one after another.

You search as you wipe the rain from your face.

You can't see me or hear me.

We each trudged and searched in the same rain, but we couldn't cross paths.

When I reached out and gently grabbed the hem of your garment from behind, it disappeared in my hand - and then you suddenly disappeared from my side as if you had suddenly appeared from the rain before.

A cold rain poured down on my face. It captivated my eyes.

The world just disappeared in my vision.

I was drowning in the pouring rain of heaven and earth, unable to see, and unable to breathe.

(b)

That's when I felt someone shake my shoulder.

The world has reappeared, but it has changed beyond recognition.

You leaned over and stood in front of my bed.

You look into my puzzled eyes.

You say, "Wake up? What's wrong? Dreaming? ”

I sat up all at once.

I saw Bosan's chalet. I saw a bulging oxygen pillow.

I dreamed that when you disappeared in the rain, it was when you pushed the door and came in.

Even when I'm asleep, I can always sense your approach and departure in the depths of my consciousness.

When you approach me or leave me, every tiny particle that makes up me, whether as an organism or as an aggregate of matter at the quantum level, reacts to you.

They either change position, or change speed, or change trajectory, or change structure.

Every time you approach or leave, it brings about a reorganization and renewal of my life.

That's how I perceive you. No need to use your eyes.

This dream is the reason why I became obsessed with psychoanalysis of dream analysis.

I want to know those secrets it conveys.

(c)

I sat on the bed with a blanket.

Because I slept warmly, my whole body was warm.

My face was crimson and my skin felt hot. My hair is a bit disheveled. My mind is still in the dream.

I don't know when you have been appearing in my dreams all the time. Even if you have a deep sleep, you are still dreaming.

You whisper, "Do you feel a little bored?" ”

You handed me a large canvas-topped rubber pillow, bulging with a straw.

You say, "Breathe some oxygen and it will feel better." ”

You say, "I've been looking for a long time, and this one is the biggest." ”

You tell me how to use it.

I breathed in a cool burst of nectar. A force spread through the lobes of my lungs. Some of the damaged areas were repaired. The slightly dizzy mind suddenly cleared up a lot.

You watch me breathe oxygen. You say, "Put this right here for you, and breathe when you feel stuffy." ”

You say, "I'll get you a new one tomorrow." ”

I nodded.

You say, "Are you still used to the food?" ”

I said, "Okay." It's delicious. The food was still hot. ”

You say, "If you don't have the strength to do it at night, let them bring it for you." ”

I said, "No, I can go." I've been sleeping for a long time. ”

You say, "If you don't feel well in the future, you must tell me immediately." ”

I'm looking at you. My heart is filled with tenderness for you. I want you to touch me.

Some sparkling light flowed in my eyes.

You're a little shaken by this look.

You whisper, "What?" ”

I said, "Guide, you've been so good to me." ”

You feel like you're in your heart. You feel a feeling of sadness coming from within. The look on your face made me see it.

I said, "What's wrong?" ”

You mutter, "No." I'm not good to you. I owe you so much. I've been thinking about making amends. ”

I said, "I think you're the nicest person in the world. ”

I said, "If you don't fulfill my heart's desire, it must be for my good." You must be making my life better than yours. ”

You feel another dip of dampness in your eyes.

The longing in your heart once again rolled up the 5-meter-high wave and rushed straight up.

I feel it majestic, rushing towards your soul.

I feel the tension in your body and the stiffness of your muscles.

My breathing was urgent, and my heart was beating as fast as the passionate drumbeat of indigenous Africans.

I couldn't help but hug the oxygen pillow a little tighter.

You are aware of this small movement, you restrain yourself again, and you look away.

I heard a snow-white wave crashing against the rocks on your shore, making a loud noise and splashing countless waters.

These splashes slowly dissipate in the air between us, and the sunlight penetrates through them, reflecting a rainbow of colors.

(iv)

You turn around, you avoid looking at me.

You say, "Before it's dark, open the windows and change the air." ”

You say, "That way, when you go to bed at night, you won't be so depressed." ”

As you speak, you walk over, you lift the latch on the wooden window, and you reach out and push it away.

A bright ray of sunlight poured in through the wooden window. You stand in front of the window, frozen.

My gaze looks through your back and out the window. I was also amazed by the colorful scenery outside the window in an instant.

I put the oxygen pillow aside.

I slipped out of bed. I stand by your side. I'm looking at this fairyland-like beauty with you.

"It's beautiful." I say.

You say, "yes." Because there is an infinite change and flow of light, it is so beautiful. ”

I said, "It's like an oil painting." ”

I looked to the other side of the room. I said, "There's another window over there." ”

I want to run away. You held me down.

You say, "Don't run." I'll open it. ”

We looked out the window on that side.

I said, "It's like we're caught between two seasons." ”

You say, "That's how the Snow Mountain area is." The seasons are distributed vertically according to height, not exactly according to time. ”

You say, "The distance over there is close to the snow-capped mountains, and autumn comes earlier near the snow-capped mountains." ”

I said, "It's also because time flows faster here." ”

I said, "The afternoon is gone quickly." Before I feel it, it's going to be gone. With you, time always flies. ”

You look at me.

You say, "All things are good." In that case, you'll grow up in no time. (To be continued.) )