(a)

Late that night, in the heart-to-heart conversation in Shangyang Palace, Concubine Wang said to me: "Actually, Qin'er, my daughter, I have wanted to have a good chat with you like this for a long time. ”

She said: "I know that after the death of the general, as the general's dearest, the grief in your heart is beyond our comfort. Looking at your grief-stricken appearance, I often think of the days after the death of the old Han Wang. I think I can relate to the feeling of losing a loved one. ”

She said, 'But, Jean, we can't continue to grieve like this.' ”

"As my son's wife," she said, "you are not your own. Although we are only women, we also have a responsibility to the country. Our state is not unrelated to the state of the world. Sometimes, if we can't stay calm, the world can't be calm. Sometimes, no matter how sad and unbearable, as you have come to advise Mother today, we must be able to let go of our pain and take our responsibilities. ”

She said, "Qin'er, I know, you are strong and brave. Mother promises you that for the sake of the stability of the world, Mother will let go of her worries and fulfill her responsibilities. You should also promise your mother the same way, don't let sorrow fill your life anymore. You have to put aside your pain and take up your responsibilities in the same way. ”

(b)

Children, why am I telling you this story between the Queen Mother and me so naggingly?

Because of the old woman, I feel very worried when I look at your thoughts and actions in peaceful days, and I really think that the world of the former emperor is very worried.

Especially you, these new girls to the court, don't think that you have become the emperor's woman. You can be so high, how commanding, and how you can do whatever you want.

The life of the court is definitely not what you imagined.

As the emperor's woman, you must know how to deny yourself and serve the public better than all the women in the world, and know how to be sincere and righteous thinking. Know how to be cautious in words and deeds. Set an example for the women of the world, and do not put your own selfish desires first in all things, but put the greatest welfare of the common people in the world first.

Do you think that the dignity of the women of the emperor's family should be born there? I tell you, absolutely not. The reason why the women of the emperor's family are more noble is because they are more selfless, more willing to sacrifice, and more willing to dedicate than the women of the world. Because they are so conscientious. The talents of the world are willing to give them such honor.

Do not misunderstand the source of your honor. This dignity does not come from the favor of the emperor, not from the nobility of your mother's family, not from your conspiracy and scheming to compete for favor, but from whether you have done anything for the well-being of the people of the world in the process of marriage, childbirth and upbringing.

If you have done nothing, or even brought disaster to the world, you think. Can this dignity without a foundation be enjoyed for a long time with endless blessings? You think. And when the time comes, will your children have all the eggs under the nest?

(c)

The day after Liu Shen left Beijing for the expedition, Fu Tianliang came in and asked to see me.

Seeing that his tone was urgent. It seemed that the matter was very important, so I made an exception and summoned him to the palace for an audience.

"Why are you asking to see me?" After we met, I said to him, "As soon as King Han left, you came and asked to see me." It's easy to get suspicious. Although King Han is not in the palace, everything that happens in the palace will always be in his eyes. If you have something to do, you can write a recital and come in person, which always makes King Han feel uncomfortable. ”

Fu Tianliang said: "The minister has important things that he can't help but do, and he must come to ask Mrs. Jun for instructions in person. ”

"What's the matter?" I asked.

He hesitated.

I said, "Don't be afraid, just say it." ”

So, he said: "The minister has the courage to ask for instructions, if the battle of Dongcheng is unfavorable, or if the king of Han unfortunately has any mistakes, what is the plan of Mrs. Jun?" ”

I was silent.

He said: "Although it is unlucky, if it really happens, the situation will be very unfavorable, and Mrs. Jun should plan for herself as soon as possible." ”

I looked at him. I said, "What else can I do?" If the king of Han does not return, my path will come to an end. I intend to follow the instructions of the King of Han when he left, listen to the decision of Concubine Taishu here, support her, follow her, and share her fate. Life and death are left to life. ”

I said sadly, "If the great general and the king of Han are no longer in this world, what is the point of me staying in this world alone?" ”

Fu Tianliang said: "Mrs. Jun really has such an idea. ”

I said, "Sure enough? Why do you say yes? ”

He said: "Mrs. Jun forgives her sins, there is one thing that His Majesty did not report to Mrs. at that time. ”

I asked, "What's the matter?" ”

He said, "Madame Jun still remembers the day when the general first walked around the city? ”

I said, "Of course I do." ”

Fu Tianliang said: "That day, in fact, the general had a letter left for Mrs. Jun. ”

My eyes widened. I asked, "Where is the letter?" ”

"Here."

Fu Tianliang took out the letter you left behind before your death and presented it to me.

I said, "Why did you give it to me inappropriately when I summoned you to inquire later?" ”

Fu Tianliang replied: "Because the general instructed that on the day when the King of Han will lead the army to attack the city in the future, after the King of Han sets off, before the battle starts, he will enter the palace again and ask for a meeting, and hand it over to Mrs. Jun in person." ”

(iv)

I opened the letter. Inside is a blank piece of letterhead. Not a word was written.

Stuck in the letterhead was the long tassel of my father's sword.

I took out the spike of the sword, and I looked at it.

I thought it had disappeared into the burning building, like my father's sword, and was buried forever under the thick mud and rock.

When did you get it?

I thought back to that day, and I remembered how you slipped in like a tanuki from the beams of the house in the thick smoke that filled the house.

It should have been at that time that you took it. But I was in a state of panic, bewilderment, and surprise, and had no impression of it at all.

You took it, but you didn't tell me.

You want to keep it with you. Because you had already decided at that time not to keep me around.

I looked at my father's relics.

I understand what you're trying to say to me in the blanks.

What you're trying to say is to remind me to remember that my parents' lives are in my life and that they live with me. Your life is in mine as well. You are also alive with me.

You remind me to think about this no matter what situation you face, no matter what you decide.

I looked at the sword spike for a while.

Fu Tianliang kept looking at me expectantly.

Long. I said, "If the King of Han is unexpected, the situation is critical, and Concubine Taishu and I can't stay in Yunjing, you can arrange it, and we will go to my uncle." I believe that the world is so big that there must be a place where our mother and daughter can stay. ”

Fu Tianliang said: "Yes." The ministers will be ready for anything. Mrs. Jun rest assured. The ministers will desperately protect the safety of Mrs. Jun. ”

I said, "And the princess." She was my mother. The Han army must also work together to protect the safety of Concubine Taishu. I will never be ashamed of the King of Han and leave his mother alone in the chaos. ”

Fu Tianliang said: "Yes." Your Majesty obeys. ”

(5)

After Fu Tianliang left, I sat on the chair with my father's sword spike slippery.

You've really seen me through. You expected everything and arranged everything.

I have endured such dedication and affection from you, that I can't give up my life anymore.

I can only try to survive in this world without you.

You want me to be able to live like this.

You know, if I can live like this, in the end, I will definitely be able to understand the true meaning of life. (To be continued.) )