I went back to my room and closed the door.

I leaned against the door for a while.

I walked to my parents' shrine, lit a pillar of incense, and inserted it in the censer. I knelt on the mat and watched as the incense sticks in front of my parents' spiritual plaques went out and the cigarettes rose. Looking at it, tears blurred my eyes.

I don't know how long it took to do this. I heard someone talking outside. The maid said, "Miss, the young man is here, do you want to invite him in?" ”

I quickly stood up, wiped my tears, and walked over to the bronze mirror to take a picture of myself. I took a few breaths, calmed myself down, and said, "Please let him in." ”

You come in through the door. As soon as I saw you, I felt my whole heart light up all at once. The black that had just been pressed in my heart disappeared before I knew it.

I said, "Have you finished eating?" ”

You say, "I'm done." ”

I said, "Is there anything to tell my brother to come over?" ”

You say, "Qin'er, tell me, what happened to you just now?" What happened? You don't feel like you're hurting the wine. ”

I said, "Everyone's behavior is different. ”

You say, "So, do you feel better now?" You just didn't eat anything. Hungry now, right? ”

I said, "Not hungry." I don't have the appetite to eat anymore now. ”

You look at me. My eyelashes fluttered.

A smile tugs into the corner of your mouth.

You take out a box from your back. You say, "I brought you some snacks." I know, you're hungry. ”

I'm looking at you. I slowly opened the box and saw some delicate vanilla cakes.

You say, "Do you like this or not?" If I don't like it, I'll go to the kitchen and change to something else. I said, "Yes." It's my favorite food. How does my brother know? ”

You smile and say, "Ask." ”

On the porch. The curtains fluttered.

You warm the tea while watching me eat the snack slowly.

You lift the teapot on the stove and pour me a cup. You say, "Drink some water." Warm, not hot. ”

You look at me intently. I'm getting a fever in my face when you see it. I whispered, "Why are you looking at me like that?" I look ugly, huh? You smile. You say, "It's not ugly." It was lovely. ”

I choked on the snack and coughed.

You come and pat me on the back, and you say, "Slow down, eat slowly, drink some water." ”

That night the weather was clear, starry, and the scent of flowers floated in the air.

We sat together on the porch to eat snacks and drink tea.

While you watched me eat, you told me about your life in the Taoist temple during those years.

You said that when you are in the Taoist temple, you like to lie on the top of the mountain and watch the starry sky alone. When I am happy, when I am lonely, I like to be like this person on the top of a high mountain, the closest place to the sky, looking up at the bright galaxy. You say, when you look at it, you will feel that the happy things are also very small, and the feeling of loneliness is also very small, and slowly, only peace and tranquility are left in your heart, and then, even peace and tranquility disappear, as if the body and mind are integrated with the starry sky, and they have become a part of the starry sky, and even the self has dissolved.

You say that you like this moment the most, this feeling, as if you can live forever.

You say that a person should always be with such a vast and boundless thing as the starry sky, so that all kinds of troubles in life do not need to be eliminated with force, and naturally they will become invisible.

You say, you believe, that above our ordinary life, there is an eternal life. It's just that we can often only realize the ordinary one, thinking that this ordinary one is ourselves, and forget that the other eternal one is ourselves.

I watched you, silently listening to you, looking at the silhouette of your side, looking at the lines of your lips, watching the starry sky reflected in your eyes.

That night, we talked together for a long time.

As we spoke, the starry sky of the spring night shone on us for hundreds of millions of years in the sky.

You talk about me in your memory. You still vaguely remember what I looked like as a baby. You remember when I was born with slender eyeliner, I was born with dark eyes, clear eyes, and flowing eyes. You said, not long after I was born, a Xiangshi once told me my fortune, saying that I gave birth to a pair of phoenix eyes, which is the face of the lord and noble, but also said that I was born too early, and I am afraid that I will be punished for violating the heavens. You remember holding my little hand. You say, "At that time, your hands were so small, smaller than the smallest pastry in a tea tray." When I hold your hand, your dark eyes look at me, and after looking at it for a while, you start to pout, and then, you grin and cry sadly. Seeing you waving your little hands, kicking your little feet, and crying so sadly, I quickly let go of your hands. I thought to myself, my sister is so small, so soft, and can't withstand any hurt, how can I make her cry so sadly. I should protect her for her father. You say, "When I left home, I was just over three years old, and I can't remember a lot of things." There are only a few things, some vague impressions. However, I always remember your crying that day. In Kiyocheon, I dreamed that you were crying like this. Before I met you on the edge of the cliff, in my heart, you were always such a delicate pink little doll. I was so surprised to see you. Because, the gap between you and that little doll is too big. ”

I bowed my head.

You say, "Do you remember what I was like when I was a kid?" ”

I shook my head. I said, "I don't have any impression at all." ”

You say, "After the monk left, I remember my uncle and father talking about it. They said, "You deserve to be honored, for the bravery of your father, and the martyrdom of your mother, and that you deserve it." ”

I said, "But I don't want to be rich in the future." If a person does not have the inner virtue to match his noble position, all the great wealth and nobility will eventually become a kind of heavenly punishment. ’

I'm looking at you. I said, "I just wish every day was as normal as tonight." Just like this, sitting in the yard, smelling the flowers, seeing the stars, hearing you, and delicious snacks and fragrant tea. That's it, it's wonderful. ”

You look at me too.

We looked at each other. We appeared in each other's eyes.

You say, "yes." That's it, it's beautiful. ”

We were relatively silent.

We silently watched the starry sky.

I felt quieter than ever, as if I had finally arrived in eternal heaven after a long journey.