This poem is actually a work of two in one, and the author is the famous Su Shi and Su Zhe brothers. Pen % fun % Pavilion www.biquge.info

The first two sentences of the opening are written by Su Zhe, which is more subtle, but the irony can also be said to be very strong.

"In the past, he avoided the army in his old age", Dong Zhuo must not be comfortable when he hears it.

"The heroes of the day were similar, and Yannan and Zhaobei were also Beijing." This sentence puts Dong Zhuo and those who covet comfort and pleasure before the world is appeased, aiming to point out the way that it will inevitably fall in the end.

And Su Shi's last two sentences, they simply put the ridicule on the bright side.

I'm thick and fearless! I have a lot of money and food, and I am already invincible.

It's a pity that no matter how thick the armor is, it can't stop Fang Tian's halberd, and no amount of money and food can cover up the surging crimes.

As for the "umbilical fat self-portrait", I am afraid that no one could have thought of it at this time, and no one dared to think that its original intention was to light Dong Zhuo on the sky lantern, and it was estimated that it was just a satire of Dong Zhuo's obesity and fat.

Even if someone thinks so, so what?

Zhang Yu didn't think that Dong Zhuo brought him to Yiwu today to invite him to tea, since it was a Hongmen banquet, what else was polite?

Passing through the city wall gate, the mansion and palace are magnificent and magnificent.

Zhang Liao led the people back after sending Zhang Yu to Wubao, and Zhang Xiu took the horse in front and brought Zhang Yu directly to the most magnificent building in Yiwu.

"Young Master Yu, this is the real Taishi Mansion."

Zhang Yu looked at it, waved his goose feather fan, took a deep breath, and stepped up the steps.

He had been to the palace, and it was no different in terms of delicacy and magnificence, but the layout was a little smaller.

Zhang Xiu didn't follow, thinking that the level was not enough, but he waited under the long steps for a while, and saw that Zhang Yu showed no signs of resistance, so he left on his own. And Zhang Yu simply walked to the main hall without any scruples.

Anyway, we have a life-saving hole card, so it's better to give him a broken jar.

In the main hall, the warbler sings and dances, and the wine music is leveled.

On the gold-inlaid jade platform sat a man eating some delicacies, accompanied by four maids, each holding a canopy on one side, while the other two were feeding and drinking wine with a cherry sip.

Seeing Zhang Yu come in, a good-looking woman walked out from the side, and Lianbu stepped forward, like an airport security check in the future, and checked Zhang Yu from the ends of her hair to her toes.

The light fragrance and delicate and gentle fingertips made him almost feel comfortable......

"As the head of state, you should be ashamed of being arrogant and lascivious." Zhang Yu blocked his forehead with a fan and couldn't bear to look directly, and then looked at the audience. I saw eight boys standing on the left and right sides, respectively four Zhengtai and four Lori, all of them looked pink carved jade, very cute, even Zhang Yu who came to the Hongmen banquet couldn't help but love it.

"Kid, have you eaten—"

"Zhang Yu!" Dong Zhuo shouted on the stage.

"Eh, hello Master." Zhang Yu bowed.

"A certain banquet set up for you personally, are you still satisfied?"

"Satisfied, even more satisfied if this is not Yu's last meal."

"Hahahaha!" Dong Zhuo smiled, and then kicked over the table in front of him, melons, fruits, wine and vegetables rolled to the ground, and the maids who were feeding on the side were also trembling in fright.

"Nima, if you don't agree with you...... you will get mad" Zhang Yu complained in his heart, but the expression on his face remained unchanged, and he shook the goose feather fan and said leisurely: "The world is so wonderful, but you are so irritable, this is not good, no-"

"Your milk stinks before it dries, how dare you stab me?"

Fat old thief, what did you stab?

After scolding silently, Zhang Yu hurriedly said: "The master is wronged, who said that I was going to stab you?" ”

"Huh?"

"I want to stab Wang Yun's old horseman." Zhang Yu shook his head and said helplessly.

"Thorn Wang Yun? Why! ”

"I like Diao Chan below, he wants to give Diao Cicada to Taishi, I can't bear it, but I don't dare to attack Taishi, so I think about killing him first and then taking Diao Cicada away."

When Dong Zhuo heard this, he first wanted to be angry, and then remembered Lu Bu's appearance when he saw Diao Chan. This cicada is indeed the best in the world, and it is difficult for a normal man to be tempted, so he believes it a little.

"But you killed my Xiliang soldier, what explanation do you have!"

"How did I know that you were going to Situ Mansion for a banquet that day, and I also said that Wang Yun heard the wind and made a special trip to find someone to protect him."

"Then when you see Zhang Xiu, why don't you stop?"

"Stop? I have an enmity with him, Master, why not take this opportunity to kill him? ”

After several confrontations, Zhang Yu did not panic at all, he was well-founded, talked eloquently, and thought that he had played quite perfectly.

After a long time, Dong Zhuo took out the wine cup in his sleeve and put it firmly on the ground.

"This is still going to be a cup...... There must have been a lot of armor hidden behind this large screen. Zhang Yu pondered secretly.

"You answered, only a little omission." Dong Zhuo said.

"What an omission."

"You're too calm."

"?"

"It's not credible to be too calm at a time like this." Dong Zhuo had a mocking smile on his face.

If this master wants to kill you, do you still need an excuse?

“…… system, are you sure that Dong Zhuo's intelligence is not eighty?

Shouldn't this be 'a witty boy who calmly answers, gains trust, successfully escapes, and gets rewarded'?

Shouldn't you Xiliang Takefu cooperate with my performance and turn a blind eye?

The script is wrong! ”

"However, so-and-so is in a good mood today!" Dong Zhuo got up, while Zhang Yu looked at the fruits scattered on the ground and was silent.

"I'm in a good mood, I just want to talk to someone."

"There are so many things, and now, there is no one to talk to."

"Needless to say, I'll talk with someone today, is it an honor?"

Zhang Yu smiled in his heart, and his brain had already made up the picture.

Dong Fatzi told his glorious deeds and bloody crimes, and then took out a gun and pointed it at himself: I'm sorry, you know too much.

"Bang!"

I'm not going to talk to you!

……

"Back then, the old man was like you, a good year!"

"Well, who hasn't been young yet." Zhang Yu replied casually, there are some things that you can't do if you don't want to......

"A certain walk in Xiliang is also quite chivalrous, especially with the Qiang people. But after all, it is not a long-term way, and it didn't take long for a certain bag to be empty, so I had to go home to be a farmer. ”

Dong Zhuo said and drank the sake in the cup, and Zhang Yu also drank a cup.

"It didn't take long for the Qiang people to come. They came to me Dong Zhuo with iron knives and enthusiasm, and they want to follow me to do a great career! ”

This was the first and only time in the old lady's life that she was moved.

He threw his hoe in the field and took the people back to his home. I asked a neighbor for a drink, but I ...... There is nothing to eat.

What should it be? ”

"Slaughter the cow." Zhang Yu said, he has seen this paragraph.

"Yes!" Dong Zhuo's old eyes lit up, looked at Zhang Yu and said with a smile, "It's slaughtering cattle!" ”

"The old man only had that ploughing cow in his family back then, which was fate.

But those brothers are heavier than life.

When the beef is cooked, the old man's heart aches, but it is also happy!

A certain picked up the wine bowl and said to them, 'Everyone's love, Dong Mou's heart understands!' However, Dong Zhuo is incompetent and his family is depressed, which is not enough to lead you to success! This time I hastily set up a feast, drank this bowl of wine, and divided the cow...... Brothers, let's go back. ’

The frustration in their eyes at that time, the old man still remembered it vividly, but there was no way. ”

Zhang Yu listened to it for the first time.

"The pot is empty; People, scattered; The land is deserted.

I thought that this was the end of a certain life.

For several days, the old man couldn't eat. What a hero is a certain Dong Zhuo, just because his family is poor, he can't come out? !

At this moment, the sound of horses' hooves and the noise broke into the old man's ears.

This is the most moving song I have ever heard in a lifetime. ”

"But the Qiang?"

"Hahahaha, exactly!

There are thousands of livestock, sheep, cows, and horses like an army!

Those people said: 'Dong Zhuo, these livestock, we are waiting to repay you, and besides, there is a sentence I hope you will remember. ’

One hurriedly replied, 'Everyone, just say it! ’”

Dong Zhuo continued to drink and get drunk, and Zhang Yu continued to fan his fan.

"They said, 'You only have one ploughing ox, and you are still willing to kill it, and we know that there is nothing wrong with people, and we are willing to follow you from now on, and look forward to Dong Zhuo's horse for you!'"

"Lao Tie Wen!" Zhang Yu picked up the wine cup and touched Dong Zhuo.

"Today, a certain Dong Zhuo swears that if he can achieve great things in the future, he will live up to your help!"

……

Later, a certain entered the Beijing division and served as Yulin Lang. But a certain person is from a humble background, and there are many dog thieves in the capital, and I can't kill them, so it's very annoying to stay. ”

"Finally, I waited until Xiqiang made a rebellion."

"The leading army Sima, a certain leader led the warriors under his command, and the Xiqiang who was directly killed was all lost, and the head was tied to the body of the horse."

"The good news arrived, and the court promoted him to Langzhong and rewarded him with nine thousand silks. What's the use of this rag? A certain battlefield fight, in order to protect the country and the people, how can this be? ”

"Nine thousand horses of silk, all of which were given to the soldiers. They are really desperate people, and they are thankful to them. ”

Zhang Yu's goose feather fan stopped at some point, "Is this the former Dong Zhuo?" Since he is trying to protect the country and the people, why has he become a thief who is now a big thief who is causing disaster to the country and the people? ”

Listen quietly.

"You're young, and you don't know the pain of the passing of time." Dong Zhuo was already a little drunk.

"Leading the army to fight Xiqiang, a certain time is the year of standing.

However, if it is lost, what can I do about it?

Soon, the old man, he was more than fifty years old. ”

Thirty...... to fifty. The age at which a man should make contributions in his life, especially a general like Dong Zhuo who intends to be on the battlefield.

But this golden year disappeared unconsciously, and it was all gone.

Zhang Yu actually felt tragic.

"That year, XX lost the battle with the Yellow Turbans, the losses were not heavy, and XX could still make a comeback!

But the imperial court issued an order to remove a certain official. Dong Zhuo's words are deeply sad.

"It's ridiculous, after half a lifetime of fighting, the old man found out that he didn't know anything about power.

I shed blood and sacrificed for the Han, and I stained the battlefield with blood, but I didn't get the slightest return!

On the other hand, those traitors and thieves, forming parties for personal gain, harming the family and country, lying on the corpse of my loyal soldier and indulging in pleasure......

Kill, kill! Damn it! ”

Three in a row should be killed, anger and resentment, and there is a domineering spirit that seems to be looking at the world, which makes Zhang Yu's hairs stand up all over his body in an instant.

"How stupid is it to work for such a court?"

Dong Zhuo smiled, and Zhang Yu also felt cold.

Perhaps, there is a reason why anyone is "going bad".

Of course, this must not be an excuse for going bad.

The following year, someone from the old man's Xiliang jumped out.

Ma Shoucheng Han Wenyue rebelled, with tens of thousands of soldiers, and at the critical juncture, the court remembered the old man again, hahaha! ”

"There were no more complaints, but so-and-so still went. After all, most of the warriors under a certain command were born in Liangzhou, and they could not oppose the imperial court, so this rebellion must be suppressed by me Dong Zhuo. ”

"The enemy is outnumbered, and an army of black oppression is pouring from the end of the earth. Before waiting for a certain battle, the messenger in front quickly reported that the main force of our Han army had been defeated and wanted to return to the division. ”

"It's so weak......," Zhang Yu sighed, "What level of operation is this?" ”

"Back to the teacher? The enemy army is ahead, and retreating at this time is tantamount to seeking death! Even though the time is far away, Dong Zhuo is still indignant.

"Then how did the Taishi retreat?"

"A certain horse goes to the front of the battle, and a certain Dong Zhuo is also half a Qiang person, and he can also take the sky as the quilt and the earth as the seat! Pass my order, the three armies move to the river, build embankments and dams, and use the delicious fish and meat in the river to replenish the body of my army, and then fight to the death with you! ”

"The Qiang people laughed, and then let us go."

"Presumably, I want to wait for the Taishi to collapse without a fight."

"Not bad."

"And then?"

"Indeed, it is self-retreating without a fight."

Zhang Yu understood what Dong Zhuo meant, and the goose feather fan danced again.

"But I didn't expect that I was the only one in the six-way army who retreated. Hahaha, those dog thieves are red again. ”

……

"In the blink of an eye, another four years."

"Until that night,...... A huge star in the sky flew by like a stream of fire, and the light behind the stone was more than ten zhang at its tail, flying straight over Han and Ma Junzhong——"

"The barracks are as bright as day, the horses neigh, and the sergeants are panicking!"

"God help me!"

Looking at Dong Zhuo's joyful and fierce expression, Zhang Yu could clearly imagine what was happening at that time.

It's just that what this strange meteor is has to be handed over to the almighty science student.

"Defeated the enemy army and achieved a great victory, it's time for the reward, right?"

"Haha, sure enough, the wise majesty gave gold and silver cloth and made a certain Shaofu, such a big official!"

"This is really playing with someone who is an idiot. The old man fought for the country, but he was summoned by him to come and go, and even to be his young mansion, he had to pay the money in full, he really deceived me without a seed?! ”

"Since the traitorous ministers in the court are in charge, why should they be at his mercy? A certain soldier is to fight for a certain future, and if the court does not give it, a certain soldier will take it himself! ”

Zhang Yu knew that Dong Zhuo had finally changed.

Zhang Yu looked at the fire in his eyes, it was a desire for power.

He is no longer the young man who slaughtered cattle and feasted guests, nor is he a general of an army who can distribute all the gold, silver and cloth.

He's old.

In this life, he can no longer afford his profligacy.

So he wants power, and only with power can he do what he wants to do and sweep him away from the injustices he has received over the past few decades.

"Therefore, a certain moved to Hedong and was not ordered."

……

"He Jin sent a letter to Yu and invited me to be the king of Qin. Yulang, what do you think, what did he come up with? ”

"It stinks."

"Hahaha, yes, it stinks. What good idea could he, a butcher, come up with?

It's just a few eunuchs, as a general, they can be destroyed, but they still want to spend a lot of time, which is really ...... Jean was really overjoyed. ”

"However, it is with these wine bags and rice bags that a certain opportunity to turn over and rise!"

After that, what Dong Zhuo told was not much different from what Zhang Yu knew.

Escorting the young emperor, with 3,000 suspicious soldiers as tens of thousands, he played with the ministers in Beijing.

This Zhuge Liang's usual method came from his Dong Zhongying's handwriting decades ago.

"The old man is almost in the age of sixtieth year," Dong Zhuo looked at Zhang Yu with some envy in his eyes.

"Zhang Yu, you said that the old man has worked hard all his life, for what? And what do you get? ”

"Conscientious and conscientious, for the country, but what about the court, what about the so-called loyal ministers and good generals? Even the emperor let people drive them out! ”

"The identity of the old man is not enough, those big families look down on so-and-so, and look down on so-and-so's Xiliang soldiers. Can defend the country, who will come? Are they?

You say, should these dog thieves be killed? ”

"There are always people who say that a certain country is in trouble, but they don't know that this country has long been rotten in their hands!"

"The old man knows that the world belongs to the world after all, how can they afford a 'pariah' like this?"

"But I don't accept it, I don't accept it, Dong Zhuo has stood up to the sky and dominated his life, but he still has to surrender to this group of mediocre traitors."

"The old man is old and has no children under his knees, so it can be said that there is nothing to worry about. In that case, why don't I play with you? ”

"A certain emperor is abolished, the emperor is established, and those who do not obey will be killed."

"If someone wants to move the capital, he who doesn't obey will be killed."

"So-and-so finally tasted arbitrariness and power, and killed all the damned people."

Dong Zhuo drew his sword and looked around, but he didn't dance.

"Old man, let's see, whether it's a hard head, or Dong's sharp knife!"