(a)

After the upheaval and bloody rain, we finally had a peaceful day in Yantangguan.

During that time, we got along a lot, and our relationship deepened and our love grew stronger. I thought I would be your wife in the city where my parents got married. During those days, I was waiting for you to say to me every day.

However, I didn't wait for you to say that to me in the end.

During that time, there were many important things happening in the world, but I don't remember much. Because, I am so intoxicated with the happiness of seeing you every day, I am so absorbed in every minute and every second of my time with you, I am like a thirsty man in the vast desert focusing on the last drop of water in a kettle, focusing on everything about you: your voice, your movements, your words, your footsteps.

Because I was so focused on you, I could barely feel all the noise in the world.

However, for the vast world, a woman's small intoxication is only a trivial matter. The chaos of the world, the rolling red dust, the chaos and confusion of all the worlds, they all continue.

During that time, you didn't go out to fight. However, your troops are still fighting. The enemy's troops are also in battle.

The Tubo people beat the Beji people, and the Beji people beat the ancestors. The ancestors of Rong fought the Han army, the Han army fought Dasuo, Dasuo fought Bemu, Bemu fought the Tubo people, the Han army fought Bemu, Yang Biao beat Dasuo, Lei Shicheng beat Yang Biao, all this chaos is still like the pattern on the marquee, constantly turning. Don't say that I'm too old to remember those chaotic battles, even if it's recorded in the history books, you children who don't like to read, when you learn this paragraph, you will inevitably have a confused memory. But at that time, the world we lived in was like this. Everything is uncertain, everything is unpredictable, everything is unattainable. Born in peace and living in comfort, you can't imagine the mood of the people in the world in that era.

When they fall asleep every day, they don't know if they can see the next day's light with their eyes closed. Will the loved ones who sleep next to them turn into a cold, bloody corpse the next day? War is so terrible. It is the horror of the human heart. You must remember that a happy life can never be built on such uncertain fears. If you let the people under your rule have such a heart of fear, the day when you will be tired and abandoned by the people will not be too far away.

The laurels of victory and the glory of triumph are just fakes. I don't know how the teachers were teaching you when you were listening to the teachings. But you must not be deceived by anyone's teachings, do not like war, and do not think that you can get anything valuable from it. At the age of more than 80 years, with the experience of living in the war-torn years of my youth, and with the trauma of war, which I have experienced physically and mentally, I tell you that only by stopping and ending the war can we gain something worthwhile.

During this period, the important battle I remember was the multi-party melee on the Uta Meadow, in which a total of five parties participated, your troops and Yang Biao's troops once again coordinated perfectly. The greatest result of the battle is that you have completely annihilated Besakibu. Bemu was the first son of Ulindenmu Khan to lose in this war, after his eldest grandson Gumuma. But not the last. He finally tasted the taste of a white-haired man sending a black-haired man again and again.

During this time, because Wu Shun was often ordered to lead the army in place of you, he could not be by your side for a long time. In order to take better care of you, and to make your remote command more efficient, he has selected elite soldiers and formed your personal guard. Guan Wenliang and Xie Shuangcheng were screened out at this time and became the chief and deputy commander and personal attendant of your guard.

It turns out that Wu Shun's selection is very much in line with your heart. Since the two of them took office, you have not changed the commander of the guard.

(b)

"I just want to spend more time with you. That's why I wrote. ”

After our daughters entered Yantang Pass, they lived in a private mansion that my uncle had purchased here. After you and your uncle entered the city, they all lived here because everything was in place and it was more convenient for you to recuperate.

The toss of the battles for the capture of Yantang Pass and Huaizhou, the reorganization of various departments, and the subsequent battles, although you did not come to the battlefield in person, you are also indispensable to work hard. After entering the city, your condition has recurred, and several times you have just seen a good recovery and then collapsed again. In the end, Dr. Matthew, a gentle and low-key person, couldn't help but get angry, and rebuked you to your face, saying that if you refuse to rest like this, you will definitely be terminally ill and have no cure, and he said that if you don't listen to his orders and dare to get up and worry about those outside things, he can only say goodbye and go home to spend his old age in peace, because even if he is by your side, it is completely useless.

Doctor Matthew's anger finally made my uncle make up his mind to show the authority of the parents. It is not to be said that your uncle strictly followed the doctor's instructions and ordered the whole family to watch you closely, and you could only rest in bed, and could not take care of outside affairs, nor did you allow any military and political news to be passed on to you from outside. You want to argue, you want to bargain, but you can't do it at length. You had to stay in bed and listen to their persuasion.

After I came to Yantang Pass, my daily work is to serve you wholeheartedly, so that you can recover as soon as possible.

I am by your side day and night.

I always remember that butterfly that day.

(c)

"Don't move." You said.

I'm looking at you. I asked, "What?" ”

You say, "Look." ”

A colorful butterfly flew out from behind me. It flapped its wings and flew around me. Together, we watched it fly between the hem of my embroidered skirt and the jewel on my neck.

You say, "What a beautiful butterfly." Is it my hallucination? This season, it's already late autumn, how can there be butterflies? How did it fly into the room? ”

We looked at the unbelievable butterfly that came out of nowhere. It rested on the fan in my hand. It rests on the red flowers embroidered on the fan surface. It stopped there and began to turn its head, touching the dots busy. I want to wave the fan and make it fly away.

You say, "Don't." Let me look at it a little longer. I said, "Okay." ”

We sat quietly and watched it scurry around the fan.

You say, "I've been in bed for too long, I've been fighting for too long, I've almost forgotten the outside world." It turns out that it is still so moving. ”

I said, "yes." Even in the era of frequent wars, butterflies are still so beautiful. ”

You say, "I don't remember the last time I saw a butterfly." ”

I said, "I remember." "You look at me.

I said, "It's when I look at you meditating across from me." ”

You look at me. I am bathed in your gaze. We looked at each other.

After a while, my eyelashes fluttered. My eyes turned to the butterfly.

I said, "Actually, butterflies often exist, but we don't often have them like now, quietly looking at them, clearly seeing their state of mind. ”

You say, "yes." We just lost that state of mind, not the butterflies. ”

You say, "I think it's a beautiful day like this." You say, "Really." It's wonderful. ”

My hand shook a little. The butterfly flew off the fan. It circled around a circle or two and then came back to it.

I said, "I don't want you to get sick." Watching you get sick is like scissors breaking my heart. ”

I said, "I still hope you're doing well." Even if I can't see you. ”

You say, "I've worried you." ”

You look at me intently. Under your gaze, I feel like I'm melting.