(a)

According to my recollection, when the well was rebuilt, it retained its original appearance, except that the wooden well fence in the collapse and decay and the wind and rain pavilion that covered the mouth of the well were rebuilt, and a stone monument was erected behind the well to tell the story of the monks who drank the water of the well, and also told the story of the water you drank here. Pen, fun, and www.biquge.info

I walked over to the stele and reached out and stroked your name engraved on it.

Your life, your voice and smile that I love so much, have just become a cold historical event on the stone tablet.

This is what a loving couple needs to bear alone, unshareable, unspeakable, irresistible, heartbreaking, deep into every cell, grief.

A hundred years of loneliness, a hundred years of loneliness, what is it?!

It is immeasurable and boundless loneliness, deep and bottomless, vast and boundless loneliness!

In a world where everything can collapse and destroy at any time, how can it be possible to find solid happiness? You can't find solid happiness. Because, in the whole world, there is nothing that has been stable for a moment, a moment, or a second.

The man who loves us the most, the strongest, bravest, most focused, and most affectionate, is unlikely to bring us solid happiness.

Just as I, the most youthful, the most beautiful, the most loyal, and the most tender, could not bring him such happiness.

(b)

But solid happiness, it still exists.

Looking up at the huge golden Buddha statue towering into the sky, looking up at the serene smile of the Buddha statue, I knew that the unshakable stable happiness must exist. This great sage, he is the one who knows this secret. A person who has not truly found that unshakable and stable happiness will never have such an expression. His heart could never have been so peaceful and calm.

On that day, standing under the huge Buddha statues, I realized that all Buddha statues are standing alone in this way. You don't need a lover to stand side by side holding hands. Therefore, that stable happiness must not be found in the loving union of man and woman. It will be found in isolation from the emotional obsession of men and women. We, each and every one of us, can stand up to the sky and the earth on our own, without leaning on the shoulders of others and snuggling up in the arms of others.

Just like me. I've always thought that without you, my life would be ruined. But, before I knew it, I had been living alone in this world for many years. I lived alone in this world, sending away many people who loved me and those who didn't.

We are far stronger than we think.

All these stories, and this travelogue, I have told it too late, too late. But unless your heart is strong enough to withstand this kind of bottomless, soul-crushing pain, you can't begin. You don't have the strength to start. More powerless, the end.

Love is just endless pain. If there is a little bit of happiness in it, then the happiness is also soaked in pain. This is my own testimony.

No one can convince me of this.

Until myself, with blood and tears, witnessed.

(c)

Children, in this world, I, Chen Qin'er, have not been able to find someone to talk to for a long time.

Because, I'm too old.

Because I remember what happened before, I became very old and vicissitudes.

I recognize your childishness and youthfulness. But, although you come to Shanglin Palace every day to visit me, serve me, and patiently listen to my endless nagging about old things, I am not confused at all, and I know very well in my heart that you have long since lost who I am.

In my life, what I fear most is to revisit my old place, but I can't help but want to revisit my old place. What I am afraid of is that things are wrong and things are wrong, yesterday is no more, but only in these places where you once existed, can I prove to myself once again: all things, they existed. You have existed.

This kind of proof can support me to face the long years ahead.

Is this happiness? Or is it painful? I know that some people will envy such a deep and long-lasting love. But I really don't know if it's happiness or pain.

Outside the main hall of the reconstructed Amida Temple, a new statue was added. That is the statue of the martyred monk Huiyuan.

That time, I was alone with the statue for a long time.

I knelt in front of the statue and stared at his calm face, a slight smile on the corner of my mouth. I bowed down to him.

I poured out and prayed to him in my heart: "O merciful sage, if the records in the history books are true, and you were able to come and go freely in the state of life and death, then you must be the one who has cracked the secret of life and death. ”

"You must know everything that happens to a person after he dies, you must know the world after death, you must know where the door between life and death is, and you must know how to pass through him."

I prayed to the statue in my heart: "Although in the eyes of the world, I am the most noble, the most successful, and the most enviable woman in this country, but these are not what I want." The only thing I want is to have that kind of understanding. ”

I said in my heart, "I am willing to give everything I have, and I will not hesitate to give my life, but I hope that I will eventually have the same knowledge and the same ability as you." In this way, I can know what happened during and after he lost his breath. I can tell what happened to him when he was in a coma and whispering in the water. I can get into that state, that plane, and I can know how to help him. ”

I said to myself, "If I can help him, I can help everyone." Help my mother who died in childbirth, my father who was cut in half by the long knife of the Khan, Wu Shun who was chopped into mashed meat, help your father who died in all kinds of remorse and reluctance, help your mother who hanged herself because she couldn't bear the pain, you can help your adoptive mother who jumped into a well because she was humiliated, and help so many civilians and soldiers who were killed and died in the war. ”

"I know that in this world there is something more useful than the dignity of the throne, something more powerful. With such a humble body, a female body, I sincerely pray that one day, I can have it. Not to live a long life for themselves, not to live forever for themselves, but to be able to enter the moment of life, to help all helpless beings, to relieve the deepest and ultimate pain in their lives. ”

"I am willing to dedicate this royal power for eternity and eternity, and I am willing to never be a royal family member for the rest of my life, but I hope that I can have wisdom like you, power like you, and mercy like you."

That day, I made a vow.

(To be continued.) )