(a)

Whether it's when I'm in college or after I go to work, one of my favorite activities on the weekends is to feed the fish. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

In the yard where I live, there is a big pond where many beautiful koi fish are fed, and there are small stalls selling fish food next to the pond, and I often walk over there, buy a big bag of fish food for 10 yuan, sit alone on a big rock in the corner of the pond, scatter fish food, and watch the fish come and fight.

Every time I do this, I feel something very familiar in my mind. I vaguely remember a long time ago when we used to feed the fish together. I am sad that you speak to me, but I can't do anything.

You feel the same familiarity. So, in your life, you have also invited me to feed fish in an 80-meter-deep reservoir on the outskirts of the city.

There were a lot of big, strong fish, black, fat, I don't know what kind they were, but I remember having round, wide mouths and small eyes.

I remember that they loved slices of bread and soda crackers, and they liked to eat half and a half of them and swallow them in one bite.

That was before going to Bossan, and one day at the beginning of the summer vacation, I skipped a ballet class and went with you to visit the reservoir.

You took me there by bike.

We rode on the non-motorized path by the water's edge, and along the way, the willows were still green.

My mood is also like the branches of willows, tender and vibrant.

(b)

You rack up the bike. You take off the sports backpack. You said to me, "Follow me." ”

We stood next to the reservoir and looked at the majestic dam ahead. Concrete embankments span the peaks of the mountains.

"Be careful, the water is deep on this shore."

You pull out a few long loaf of bread from your sports bag. You hand me a bag.

We walked together to the lake. The water of the lake is clear and the surface of the lake is calm. When you are around, the lake is always as flat as a mirror.

You open the bag containing the bread cubes. You motioned for me to look underfoot.

I bowed my head. I saw that there was a disturbance in the lake, and many ripples spread, and in these layers of ripples, the chubby heads of many big fish were exposed.

Their mouths are wide open and raised high above the water. They crowd our feet in layers. They pushed each other expectantly, splashing at the bread in our hands.

You crouch down. You get down on one knee at the water's edge. You take out a piece of bread and hand it to the fish in the water.

Only a hula sound was heard, and at least hundreds of big fish jumped out of the water impatiently and pounced. In an instant, the bread in your hand is gone, and there are no crumbs left. The fish that didn't pounce on the bread was unwilling and sucked your finger hard before falling back into the water.

You turn your head to look at me. You have a smile on your face.

"Let's try?" You said.

I held the bread carefully, and the fish scrambled to emerge from the water and eat in my hands. Their mouths moved in a hurry, and pieces of bread disappeared from my hands. Their bodies are so large and fat, each weighing at least forty or fifty pounds. You're watching from the sidelines. You say, "Is it fun?" I said, "Oh, these guys, they're so delicious." ”

You look at me with a smile. You take another loaf of bread, take it out piece by piece, and give it to me.

I watched with fascination as they competed for food. I said, "How focused they are." It's like eating bread all your life. ”

You say, "So, you can eat so magnificently."

Countless fish came from all over the reservoir and crowded around us, struggling to open their mouths, and some of the stronger fish jumped out of the water, scurrying over the backs of other fish, and swallowing the biscuits in our hands, their mouths making a loud clattering sound, like a gust of wind sweeping across the shore of the reservoir, masking the sound of the waves gently lapping.

On several occasions, some of the very large fish even tried to swallow our fingers as well, and their mouths formed a considerable suction on our fingers, like an unrestrained kiss, so that I gave a few soft screams, and before I had time to break the biscuit in half, I let go and let it be snatched by them whole.

Later, when the biscuits were fed, they still gathered around us and refused to go, and continued to make a noise of chirping, and their tails stirred up a lot of waves.

You shake the empty bag, fold it up, and put it back in your backpack.

You make a gesture and signal to the fish that all the bread has been eaten.

But the fish were still clustered on the shore, and they were staring at us. They huddle on the shore for a long time, swimming around and refusing to disperse.

I said, "We don't have bread with us, and they still want it." ”

You thought about it for a moment and took out a large steamed bun and a pineapple bun from your backpack.

You hand it to me.

I said, "It's your lunch." ”

Say, "I'm not hungry, so give them too." They don't often get the chance to eat steamed buns and pineapple buns. ”

I said, "Then I'm not hungry, so give them my share." ”

(c)

In the midday sun, we sat on the shore. We only had two bottles of water left. We each opened a bottle, looked at the lake, and drank water. There are no shops in the neighborhood and there is no way to buy food to supplement lunch.

We just did it and had a picnic with no food to eat.

"Why did you think of bringing me to feed the fish?" I asked.

You say, "I always remember a time when we used to feed the fish together by the pond." On that day, you were so sad, and I, in my heart, was very sorry, but I didn't know how to calm the pain and panic in your heart. ”

I bowed my head. It turns out that you also have such memories.

You say, "Remember the last time we talked about fishing at a bonfire?" ”

I said, "Yes." You say you don't like fishing. ”

You say, "I've been thinking about bringing you here to feed the fish since that day." I found this place before I came to the shooting team. I often come here alone on weekends to sketch, and when I get tired of painting, I feed the fish. ”

You say, "Do you like it?" ”

I said, "Yes." It's a lot more fun than fishing. ”

(iv)

Together, we watched the fish still gathering on the shore and refusing to leave.

I said, "It's so gluttonous." If we fall into the water, will they eat us?"

You say, "No." They won't eat food that is so unpalatable as ours. They love to eat bread, orange juice, soda crackers, cream crackers, potato chips, and cakes. But my favorite is this bread. ”

You say, reaching into the water.

The fish immediately swam over, and countless warm fish kisses were printed on your hands. They suck your fingers, the back of your hand, your wrist.

You say, "Have you ever seen such a passionate love?" ”

I couldn't help but laugh a little.

You hold out your other hand. You stroke the top of the fish's heads. They don't even shy away from it, allowing you to pet them. Their eyes are looking at you all the time in the water.

I said, "They like you!" I recognize you! ”

You say, "I enjoyed coming here and I appreciate them." Every time I come into contact with them, they make me truly feel that life is not alone. We are not alone in this world. ”

"Put your hands down?" You invited me.

I hesitated, but I couldn't help my curiosity, and I tried to put my hand in the water like you did.

I felt the passionate kisses of the fish like raindrops. I closed my eyes.

"How does it feel?" You ask.

I said, "What a gentle kiss." It makes people feel an indescribable emotion in their hearts. ”

You say, "Look, they like you too." They, too, love you. ”

I opened my eyes. I'm looking at you. I said, "Love me too?" ”

You look at me. You say, "Yes." Love you too. ”

I said, "Also? ”

You say, "Also." ”

We looked at each other. I felt my heart rippling.

Countless fish are kissing our hands.

Say, "All things love one another." ”

(5)

We rode on our way home. I'm sitting on the back seat of your bike.

I said, "How happy! Although I didn't have a successful picnic and didn't have anything to do other than feed the fish, I was so happy. ”

As you ride, you say, "There is nothing happier in this world than to make other lives happy." ”

(f)

Later, I also had a yellow goldfish at your residence.

It has a beautiful fluttering tail and big eyes.

It has a very strange habit: it likes to eat in a spoon.

We always feed it with a white plastic spoon with one or two pieces of fish food. He put his mouth to the spoon and politely ate the food from the spoon.

After a long time, even if there is no food in the spoon, it will swim after the empty spoon.

Seeing the shadow of the spoon, it immediately rushed over.

Later, it seemed to know us.

When it sees our shadow appear in the water, it will swim over, and its mouth will repeatedly suck the food in the spoon, like a beautiful little flower, closing and opening on the water.

Whenever I see it like this, I can't help but go and get a fish food to comfort it.

You say, "Heart, you can't feed it like this without restrictions, it's going to die." ”

But I still couldn't bear to see it swim around with its mouth open and closed for nothing. So, I crushed a bottle of fish medicine into a lot of small pieces. Every time it comes, give it a little bit of minced to eat.

When I came to your house the second time, after I had done this once, I found that you had already finished the fish.

You put all the minced fish food in a small bottle.

I'm holding that little bottle, and I'm looking at you.

You smile and give me the spoon.

I fed it and whispered, "Why are you doing this for me?" ”

You say, "Because I want to be with you to appease the disappointment of its life that has disappointed its expectations." ”

(g)

Later, I went to feed the fish alone on vacation alone.

It has been transformed into a floating recreation center. Many people drive there on holidays, and feeding the fat fish has become a very popular tourist activity.

Now, those fish have a better appetite and are said to be able to eat a whole piece of toast in one bite.

Years have passed. I don't know if there are any fish in that lake that we used to feed together. Maybe they're all new fish already, although they still behave the same as fighting for food and not being afraid of people.

I went by car. Brought a lot of bread.

I stayed there all day, and they ate all the bread.

It is said that the memory of fish is only seven days. I don't think that's the case.

Because the day I went with you, I saw the eyes of those fish and their expressions. They know you for sure.

They don't know that you're no longer in this world.

(g)

After all, years have passed, and the situation at the lake is a little different.

Now there are fishermen there. They cast nets in small boats.

I was far away from the embankment and watched as they threw nets into the water, dragging the fish up nets and nets over there.

They dragged the fish to a large stone slab, struck them on the head with a hammer-like object, knocked them unconscious, and then cut open their entrails with knives.

The sound of the hammer striking hard against my flesh pierced my heart through the lake.

In this world, things that make people feel warm are so rare, and such tragic deaths are everywhere.

And I, in the face of this vast and ubiquitous tragic death, still can't do anything as I did when I was a teenager.

I feel sad and ashamed of this.

Why can't I do anything?

I've always wanted to have the power of the Creator. I want to shelter everything from these violent deaths.