(a)

You hand Kaohsiung an envelope. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

Kaohsiung said: "What is it? ”

You say, "I owe you money for my medicine." You helped me pay for my last hospitalization. I cleaned up all the checkouts, it's the money I owe you. ”

Kaohsiung immediately pushed the envelope to you, and he said, "What are you doing so politely?" The money is nothing. You are still sick now, and you also need treatment and recuperation when you go back, it is the time to use money, after quitting this thing, there is no income, and it is always more convenient to have a little more pocket money around you. Don't be in a hurry to give it back to me. You better take it first, and when you're better, you'll return it to me. ”

You say, "Before leaving, it's better to settle the money account twice." I didn't want to leave with something on my mind. ”

Kaohsiung looked at you, listening to your gasp as you spoke, and he didn't excuse himself anymore.

He put the envelope away, and he said, "Okay. If this gives you peace of mind. ”

You say, "I'm leaving, I'm leaving, I can't come back here." I don't care about anything, only my heart, and I can't rest assured. We've talked about her many times. Right. ”

Kaohsiung said, "Yes." I couldn't rest assured of her. ”

"You love her, don't you?" You look into Kaohsiung's eyes. You asked him so bluntly.

Kaohsiung looked up at you, speechless for a moment.

You say, "You fell in love with her from the first time you saw her, didn't you?" ”

Kaohsiung bowed his head.

Then he said, "I have not hidden anything from you. That is true. But I'm not going to ...... with you I know you're ...... I definitely don't want to and won't ......."

You say, "I've never misunderstood that." ”

Kaohsiung said: "I know. ”

You say, "From now on, she will treat you as a brother and a friend, and she will be friendly to you for the rest of her life, but she will not love you." Do you really not mind? ”

Kaohsiung said: "Can you fall in love with me if you mind her?" Your shadow is too deeply engraved in her heart. She drains all her feelings on you. She has nothing left over for others. ”

Kaohsiung looks at you. "I always knew she didn't love me," he said. I know she won't fall in love with me in the future. But I really don't mind. I don't mind at all. Trust her to me. I will protect her as you are still with her, until you come back and see you again. No matter what happens, I won't leave her. I will guard her until the end of my life. If you can't do it, I'll do it for you. ”

He said, "You can rest assured that you can go back and recuperate, and don't worry about it." I'm still waiting to see you reunited, to attend your wedding, to eat your sweets. ”

You say, "I hope that in the future Xinxin will be able to shake off my shadow and understand the preciousness of this kind of protection." Over time, she'll understand your mind. ”

Kaohsiung said: "It doesn't matter if you understand it or not. Love is to do what should be done, not to hope for what cannot be hoped for. ”

(b)

Under the lamp.

You're writing letters home to your parents.

"Dear mother, when you read this letter, I was no longer able to speak to you. I understand your and my father's grief. I'm ashamed that I haven't had time to do anything for you and my father, so I left in a hurry. The last time I was hospitalized, I told you, you go back first, I will arrange the work and I will come back to you to help you. I wouldn't go anywhere else. That's exactly what I was going to do. ”

"However, in a world where everything is changing, many times, we don't have the opportunity to achieve what we want. Just like this time. ”

"That's always been the way it has been. It's been that way throughout the ages. Never changed. We should be open to it. Just as you taught me when I was a child, we need to accept it with courage and softness. ”

"Dear mother, you don't have to be too sad. When you are old, the loss of your only son must be a major blow to your life. But every major blow is actually a precious gift. It will give us the opportunity to be incredibly strong. You are a great mom. And the father was a brave soldier. All my strength and courage come from you. I know you're going to get through it. We're all going to do well in the face of inevitable deaths. ”

"I know you'll think of me a lot in the years that follow. You will always be the person who misses me the most in the world, and you will miss me the longest and deepest. You will never see me again, but I have not left you. You must understand that all the substances that once made up your son, they are all still in this world. They're just changing the permutations. ”

"All of me, as I have been, will surround you, be around you, in everything around you. My love has never left you. I was in the sunlight shining on your windowsill, in the breeze that blew your curtains, in all the flowers and leaves you saw through your window. You have nothing to lose except that you can no longer see me as your son. You must be aware of this. ”

"I love you, Mom. I love my father too. I will continue to love you in thousands of bodies, in thousands of ways, and in thousands of deep feelings. ”

Knowing this will help you to leave the deep suffering. This is the last thing I can do for you. ”

"Your son, written on the last night of his life."

(c)

After returning from meeting Sister Wen Li in Sha Tin, I received a letter from Sister Wen Li.

She enclosed a copy of your last letter to the letter.

This is what people found on their desks in the rooms where you lived after you died.

Liu Wenli said: "That day, before he went to the competition, he put it in an envelope and put it in the most conspicuous place on the table. He wrote my name on it, and he wrote: Please help me pass it on to my mother. ”

"He didn't seal the envelope. ”

"This letter is also written to me by him, to you, by him to all of us," she said. ”

"When he was notified of the date, he knew very well that it was the last night of his life," she said. He knew he would never come back after he walked through the door the next day. But he went anyway. He felt that it should be faced and undertaken. ”

(iv)

I met Kaohsiung on my way out of school.

He didn't drive. He stood under the little tree with the scar like his eyes, waiting for me.

We walked side by side for a while in silence.

Kaohsiung said: "Is he going to play? ”

I nodded and said, "Yes." Students from our shooting team will participate in the competition and observe their competitions. A lot of teachers will go. ”

Kaohsiung said: "Can you manage to stop him? ”

I looked at Kaohsiung: "Why?" He promised the principal. Mr. Brown had seen him, too. I persuaded him. ”

Kaohsiung said: "However, I have a bad premonition. ”

I stood down.

Kaohsiung followed me and stopped.

He pulled out the envelope you gave him from his bosom.

I said, "What is this?" ”

Kaohsiung said: "He called me and returned me all the medical expenses I had paid in advance. He returned all the books I had borrowed from him. He said that before leaving, it is better to settle it clearly, so that when he leaves, he will have no worries in his heart. ”

Kaohsiung didn't say anything about what you entrusted me to him.

I said, "I'm also uneasy. That day I saw Mr. Brown's youngest daughter staring at him all the time, and her eyes were very sharp, like sharp knives, and he had strong feelings. There was a fluctuation in his heart. ”

I said: "I was very worried that day, so I asked him to meet him in the duty room, and I persuaded him to stop playing. But he said that the school asked him so solemnly, and it would be rude to say not to go now. ”

Kaohsiung said: "Little daughter? Dutchman? ”

I said, "Something must be wrong, I've never seen a little girl stare at someone like that." ”

Kaohsiung sighed deeply.

He said, "Maybe, let's all try again?" ”

I said, "It's useless." I know the guidance too well. What he decides to do is not influenced by others. ”

I said, "I can feel his mind." For some reason, he firmly believed in his heart that he should go for this match. Even if it was the last time in his life, he had no regrets. ”

Kaohsiung said: "Then, when you are playing, you have to look at him attentively and don't take your eyes off him. ”

I nodded. I said, "My eyes won't take my eyes off him." ”

I was going to say, "I don't have anything else in this world that I want to see but him." ”

However, before I could say this, I swallowed it back.

I don't want Kaohsiung to associate him: he's also among the things I don't want to see.

In this way, it is too unfair to him. He helped you and helped us so much.

(5)

Put down the pen. You sit at your desk and look at the paper you've just finished.

You raise your hands and see that they are shaking slightly. You tried a few times, but you couldn't stop this nervous trembling.

You put your hand down.

You look at the inkwell on the other end of your desk. The ink in the bottle is basically used up, leaving only a shallow layer of base, which is no longer enough to fill it again.

You gather your mind and look intently at the inkwell.

There was silence in the room.

Suddenly, with a bang, the inkwell seemed to have been hit by a bullet and instantly disintegrated and scattered. Fragments were scattered on the desk. A small puddle of ink flowed out.

You say to me in your heart, "Heart." Hopefully you will be able to do it one day. I hope you understand that every time we hit the target, we use the power of the heart, not the arms and bullets. I hope that one day, you will be able to understand this truth. ”

You say to me in your heart, "We don't need bullets, we don't need arms, we don't need guns, we can hit targets just as well." ”