(a)

That day, as I climbed up the access staircase to the roof and opened the skylight to enter your room, I saw you struggling to inject yourself with painkillers. Pen ~ Fun ~ Pavilion www.biquge.info Judging from your actions, I don't think it's the first time.

Later, I learned that you arrived at your residence by yourself at about 2 o'clock in the morning.

After leaving in front of my house, you went to a hospital emergency room. When you go to the hospital, the pain is intense, and you have a hard time walking along the way. But when you arrive, the pain eases again.

The doctor on duty gave you a simple examination and there was no stomach bleeding. He treated your nosebleeds and bruises on your body, prescribed you some strong painkillers, and left you in the hospital to rest. You say, it's just a rest anyway, so it's better to go home and rest. The doctor said that if you don't have too much pain now, it's okay to go home, but if you have stomach bleeding and other things, you should come over immediately. He asks if you have any acquaintances you can accompany you home. You look at your watch, it's already the middle of the night, so you say, there are friends waiting outside.

When you come out of the emergency room, you feel that you are okay, you don't call anyone, and you feel that you can go back by yourself without disturbing others.

You'd like to go back and handle your bike, but you're too tired to do it.

It's been over 30 hours since you've been able to take care of the bike again. It had been out there for so long, and at that time, even if it had broken a little, it was still a valuable possession. So, you never see it again.

Coming out of the hospital, the buses were gone. You can only walk home on your own.

When I walked a short distance downstairs to your apartment, the sharp pain in my stomach came rushing again. You fall to your knees in pain, and you look at your dwelling dozens of meters away, but you just can't move a single step.

This time, you don't have the kind of willpower you have by my side to contend with it. So, you're close to your home, and you faint a second time on the side of the road.

Because in the dead of night and the alleys are remote, you are not discovered. You woke up on your own.

It took a lot of effort for you to make it back to your room.

When you enter the room, you can barely walk. You fall in bed in a whirlwind, and you don't know anything.

It wasn't until around 6 a.m. that you woke up again with severe pain. And then you just kept doing it for about 10 hours.

It's the worst and longest pain you've ever experienced. It almost completely destroys you.

When we met again, I cried almost immediately when I faced you alone.

(b)

You are trapped in a great maelstrom. In the center of the vortex is death. The edge of the vortex is me.

The pain is like a tornado that uproots you.

I watched you struggle in the whirlpool, moving away from me. Many broken branches and leaves fell on my face.

You're lying face down on the edge of the bed, unable to roll over on your own, and you're vomiting violently.

You're lying there with no face, sweat all over your face. They roll down your cheeks, collect on your chin, and drop by drop to the ground.

As I helped you back down on the pillow, you closed your eyes and reached out.

You can feel me around you, but you can't see my face clearly.

Your hands are tentative in a confused void.

I gently shook your hand, and big tears fell on the back of your hand.

You faintly say, "Are you crying?" ”

I said, "No." What happened to you? What the hell is wrong with you? What kind of injection did you give yourself just now? ”

You say, "Painkillers." ”

You say, "Go home." ”

I said, "You're so uncomfortable, how can I leave you alone?" You need someone to take care of you. ”

You struggle to turn over. Vomiting again. I'll never forget that suffocating sound.

I patted you on the back in a panic, and I said with tears in my eyes, "Do you do this often?" Since when? Why was it never told to me? ”

You say, "It's better today, but it's not like that." ”

You say, "Did I get your sleeve dirty?" ”

With tears in my eyes, I said, "No." ”

You say, "Don't be afraid, it's not as scary as it seems." I'm fine. ”

Another sharp pain, and in an instant you are torn apart, and you can't find yourself.

Your fingers can't be clenched. You sink deep into the pillow, your face hidden in the darkness. You can't make a sound anymore.

You vomit again.

When the vomiting stops, your neck is no longer able to support the weight of your head. Your head hangs low on the edge of the bed. You lay there lifeless, momentarily unresponsive to my call.

(c)

You know it, but you can't move.

You feel yourself being thrown off the blue surface of the planet by a tremendous centrifugal force, and you fly towards the edge of the universe at great speed. You hear the sound of the void burning around you. Lots of breaking through the air with the sound of glass shattering.

You feel like you're seeing more than ever. You can no longer only see what is in front of you and in front of you. You can see above, below, behind and behind you at the same time. Your gaze is no longer limited to one point at a time. You feel like an insect with 1,000 compound eyes. You can see everything at the same time, and the unprecedented clarity and great richness of your retina will begin to congest rapidly under the impact of a powerful flow of information, and an electric current will rush straight into your stomach like a fiery snake. You feel like you've been cut in two.

And then you landed back again. In an instant, you came back to me from the edge of the universe.

You hear my voice coming from far away.

I said, "Are you okay?" Can you hear me? I'm going to call someone right now. If it hurts like this, something will happen to you, and you need to go to the hospital right away. ”

Your fingers move a little as I stand up. The strength was so weak, but it grabbed me all at once. I'm held back by your little strength and can't move.

You say, "Look for Kaohsiung." ”

I said, "Okay." Got his phone? ”

You can't make a sound. You look at me. I see your lips moving. It's as if you're saying, "Water." "You feel like your whole stomach is burning in flames.

When you drink water, you can't swallow smoothly. A lot of water runs down the corners of your mouth.

"Where's the phone in Kaohsiung?" I asked.

You look at the drawer.

I stood up and hurried over to open the drawer. I saw a small notebook at the top.

I opened the notebook and flipped through it, and I saw Kaohsiung's phone number. Not only does he have two landlines, but he also has two mobile phone numbers. Next to one of the mobile phone numbers is marked: 24 hours.

I made a note of this number and decided to call this one.

I put the little notebook back in the drawer, and just then, I saw a large white envelope. I think of this envelope, the third day after we arrived in Bossan, you received a special express mail, and you took out another large white envelope from the courier envelope. This should be the one! That's what that email you received in Bossan. You go hiking, you go on a date with me to feed the fawn, you take me on horseback riding, you kiss me in the flower field, it all happens after you receive this envelope.

I think it must contain your medical records and examination reports. What you have hidden from me is in my hands at this moment.

I didn't care if you agreed or not, so I reached out and opened the envelope.

Then, I saw everything.

All the blood in my body froze in an instant.

The envelope slipped out of my hand and fell to the floor.

I heard my own voice say in despair, "No." No! ”

I'm looking at you. I shook my head and said, "No! No! No! ”

You're in so much pain that you can't speak anymore.

Your hand moves again. I pounced and grabbed your hand.

Your lips move slightly, but no sound can be heard.

I look at your lips in distraught.

Your fingers are struggling to close, and you hold my hand gently in yours.

You passed out. You don't seem to be breathing. (To be continued.) )