(a)

In my life as Esabelle Chen, I am also a well-known collector of fine art in the industry.

A love and passion for all kinds of old and old things is a distinctive feature of my life.

Since I was a child, I have shown an obsession with and love for traditional period paintings, whether it is ancient Chinese literati flower and bird landscape paintings, figure paintings in the style of white drawing lines, gongbi figure paintings, Japanese ukiyo-e, or traditional Western oil paintings.

When I was a teenager, I was only keen to visit all kinds of famous art exhibitions, and I would definitely visit all the city's art museums and art galleries.

I would be immersed in the beautiful paintings for a long time, lingering, and often forgetting to eat, forgetting the passage of time.

I'm usually the last audience to be politely urged to leave the exhibition.

A treasure trove of fine arts like the Louvre is a paradise for me. I once lived in Paris for half a year, so that I could go to the Louvre every weekday, admire the paintings one by one, and revel in the world of light and shadow, not knowing winter or summer. By the end of the day, almost all of the Louvre staff knew me.

There are many art obsessives like me around the world, and the staff at the Louvre told me many stories about art lovers and masterpieces. They have long been familiar with such obsession. The bizarre story that surrounds the obsession with the Mona Lisa alone can be enough to make Hollywood movies for decades.

Of course, such well-known art meccas as Mingsha Mountain in Dunhuang, Gansu, China, and Florence in Italy, are also places where I want to worship and prostrate.

(b)

As an adult, I gained some financial strength, and in addition to sponsoring some professional galleries that collect classical paintings, I often flew around the world to participate in auctions of various art collections.

One of the things I often pay a lot for is a painting by the Dutch painter Van Gogh.

When I was 24 years old, I bought one of Van Gogh's famous paintings at an auction house in Sotheby, London, for an astonishing price. I spent $195 million on this. This price caused a sensation in the collecting world.

But it turned out to be a good investment, and the painting is now valued at $368 million.

But I have no intention of selling it.

Subsequently, I bought a number of Van Gogh paintings in one go, becoming the world's largest private collector of Van Gogh's works.

When the Dutch government holds exhibitions of Van Gogh's paintings, it often borrows private collections from me to show Van Gogh's artistic creations in a complete and rich way.

For this reason, I also have a very good relationship with the Government of the Netherlands.

In my life, I didn't actually know how to draw. Although I have learned the art of painting since I was a child, and even some very good painters have taught me, my drawing ability has always remained at a low level, and even stick figures can only draw cats and tigers.

This made my father ashamed. I also feel shameless in the face of these superb teachers. But that didn't stop me from falling in love with art at first sight.

According to the evaluation of the auction house and my painter teachers, although my painting ability is very low, my appreciation level is quite professional.

My recognition and understanding of Van Gogh's works has reached a level that amazes the industry, as if I was in touch with Van Gogh's heart during his lifetime.

Later, my intuition became an effective tool for verifying the authenticity of Van Gogh's work. The Dutch government and museums and private collectors around the world often ask me whether a work is the work of Van Gogh himself. I also lived up to my expectations and identified many fakes that were copied enough to be authentic, and even with such a keen intuition, I helped Interpol and the Paris police solve a shocking case of theft and smuggling of famous paintings. This incident was even subtly changed into a script, made into a Hollywood blockbuster, and topped the international box office charts for 12 consecutive weeks. Hollywood's superstars and actresses starred in the film. And the prototype of the heroine is me as a famous collector.

(c)

As for Van Gogh as a painter, I love almost all of his paintings from all periods, except for his early paintings that are gray and heavy. Especially his mid-to-late paintings.

For example, when I bought this painting, every time I stood in front of it, I felt a certain feeling of being electrocuted, and I was struck by something very familiar that was presented in the painting.

In my understanding, the line represents the rationality of the painter's consciousness, and the color represents the passion of the painter's consciousness.

In Van Gogh's middle and late periods, and especially in his later paintings, I see a very familiar struggle.

Look at the black lines that struggle to twist upwards in the bright colors that dazzle like flames!

In these paintings, I see a soul writhing when it is squeezed by some powerful force, and I hear a silent cry.

I look at these paintings as if I were looking at the brutal war inside a man.

I watched with sympathy as a man wrestled with all his inner passions and impulses, trying to confine the madness that roared within within the framework of weak reason.

I saw a man trapped in some kind of great and boundless chasm.

I see a person struggling to maintain a balance between control and loss of control.

I see the silent desperation of a person in the colors and lines.

I see the loneliness and tenacity of a person who rebels against being torn apart by some contradictory force.

I love the fluid, rushing sense of instability in his paintings.

The world he paints is boiling, fluid, changing, unrealistic, uncool, full of light and restlessness, but at the same time inclined to darkness and cold, accompanied by omnipresent death.

Maybe I misunderstood Van Gogh, but he did paint an image of my inner world at the time.

(iv)

Van Gogh's paintings often awaken memories in my heart.

I remember in a past life, when I was younger, I went with you to see an exhibition of Van Gogh's paintings.

The scenes in Van Gogh's brush, in addition to deeply touching me from an artistic point of view, also strongly triggered the blowout of memories of your past life.

His paintings remind you of the inner anguish and sickness you experienced in an earlier life, on my wedding night with the future king.

You are filled with feelings of guilt, helplessness, and pain that sweep over you.

This causes you to feel intense physical discomfort and mental trance, which shakes you out of the normal track of rational calmness.

Waiting by your side, I feel the pity and tenderness of my heart that is incomparably familiar.

This kind of pity and tenderness seems to have happened between us billions of times.

I have a strong sense of where and where I have experienced the same thing before:

I waited by your side, watching you go through the shock of your mind and your physical discomfort, full of desire to save and help, but I could not enter the door, and could only wait for you helplessly, crying.

When it was quiet and uninhabited, I often came to the collection room alone with a lantern, looking at Van Gogh's paintings one by one, and indulging in various intricate memories of my previous life.

On the screen, the entire space is filled with the overlapping shadows of your past centuries.

I'm just alone with your countless apparitions.

I knew it was just a phantom in my memory, not a real, flesh-and-blood person.

But I still feel at peace.

Even with your apparitions and memories, I feel more at ease than in the real world.

With you, I have a strong sense of belonging. It's like a planet orbiting its stars.