(Don't subscribe to this chapter.) It doesn't hurt if you've subscribed, but tomorrow we'll revise the content of this chapter to the main text. Today's overtime, party, the text is not changed, and tomorrow I will make up for it. ）

Many times I wonder how I accidentally grew up all of a sudden?

When I was alone, I couldn't help but look back on the past, and I thought about high school and college the most. In this graduation season, when I am about to leave campus forever and become a member of society, I think I should look back on the past years.

The most beautiful youth in life is the seven years of high school and college.

When I wrote these commemorative texts, I didn't have any structure in my mind, I let my mind wander and let it go to the corner where it wanted to return, and I resorted to the end of the pen on who and what things were in that corner.

No novel, no article. Outside of the novels and articles, there is the world I used to have.

-- is the preface.

(a)

Before I shared a house with my second child, I knew that I loved to talk in my sleep, but I didn't know that I talked almost every night; I thought I was sleeping soundly, but I didn't know how often I could wake up the people around me with a punch, and I had never heard anyone talk about them before, even that person.

For a period of time, I paid special attention to dreams, and everything in my dreams often affected my dreams; In the more than twenty years of my life, I have had many dreams and chased many dreams, both when I am asleep and when I am awake; In and out of dreams, maybe everyone has two lives, and how different is life from dreams after all?

As Wei Dongqing said, what you see, what you think you have, really exists?

The Buddha said that everything in the world is false, and only by seeing through the falsehood can we see the truth.

Have you kept your true heart, have you lost yourself in the flashy world that the Nine Heavens Xuannu has built for you, taking the false as the real and giving yourself to the devil?

At the age of twenty-three, when I woke up in the middle of the night, when I looked back on the seven years of my youth, the people, the things, the world, and myself there were really like seeing flowers in a dream. Maybe we don't need to wait until we are old, and we don't need to wait until we die to know what is true and what is false.

And youth can't distinguish between truth and falsehood, because youth itself is between truth and falsehood.

Put aside the obsession and see the heart.

This is my youth.

…………

Everyone has their own youthful color, and every youthful color has a campus. Or full of greenery, or reinforced concrete, or enthusiastic like fire, or blank and cold. And my youthful campus, the autumn leaves swirl in the evening breeze, the sunset jumps over the treetops and dances on the windowsill, the dripping raindrops play a quiet nocturne in the playground, and countless figures walk in front of me, leaving rows of footprints in my heart.

Patong County No. 1 Senior High School.

Now, I walk outside the walls of your courtyard, and you are stationed in my memory.

On the day I registered, when I saw the chicken's name on the placement list, 10,000 grass and mud horses rushed through my mind. I know that the fantasy that everything started over again in high school, like a delicate chrysanthemum, shattered all over the ground. As it turned out, the chicken did live up to my expectations of him, and he not only brought the nickname that I hated at the time, but also succeeded in making me famous again.

Of course, according to general logic, if an article about youth wants to attract people, it should not begin with friendship, nor brothers, but ...... Love. Or rather, something that has to do with love.

At the beginning of the cultural and art festival, the class was going to rehearse a drama, and I heard the news from the chicken that I was playing the male lead, and when I cheered, I didn't know at that time that this was also the beginning of a young memory of my entire high school.

Yes, I'm going to say seventeen.

When I was seventeen, I fell in love with seventeen.

All the thoughts and thoughts are just because at the right time, you glanced at someone more, and this glance, that transparent smile, was engraved in your mind; All the stories related to love happen because when you look at a certain figure, that figure gently hits your heart like a bell; In all long stories, there is always a beginning that no one could have predicted when they remembered it afterwards.

All likes come from an illusion: to be liked.

Some time ago, I often gaged with the second child, and when I was young, I would also mention Seventeen, saying that this was a girl I had seriously chased, but I didn't catch. Isn't she pretty, they asked? Answer, no. They asked again, is she in good shape? Answer: No. They ask again, is she very good-natured and meets the standards of the lover of your dreams? Still, no. So the two of them got angry and said, "You fucking psychopath, grass."

Why didn't you catch her? This doesn't make sense.

I said, "Do you think I like her?"

Disagreement.

I spit out a smoke ring, and that's it.

But to this day, I still don't think it was a wrong thing to happen at the wrong time and in the wrong place.

In the first year of high school, there was no difference between spring, summer, autumn and winter, and the street outside the school gate was as dark as usual, and when we opened our eyes in the morning, the sky was still pitch black. But it was in that year that there were always so many self-righteous differences.

I remember when I was about to enter the first year of junior high school, I asked the mouse what his plans were for junior high school. The mouse said, well, I want to be deeper, more indifferent, and I can't be as stupid as I was in elementary school. I said, "Well, I think so too." Before I went to the first year of high school, I didn't ask the mouse what his plans were for high school, and if I did, I thought the mouse would definitely say, well, I want to be a little more romantic, I want to put a lot of girls, and I can't be as stupid as junior high school anymore.

yes, when we first started high school, when we walked into a brand new campus, we had a lot of hormones and we took it for granted that I was going to fall in love.

In the first two weeks, during a recess, the chicken pen asked me to accompany me from the first floor to the fourth floor to confess to a girl. There are no flowers, no gifts, no candles patchwork love, it is so straightforward to express love. As a brother, Nima is a naked stimulus to me!

This reminds me of the feat that Lei Tao and Jizi did with me in junior high school: after class at night, Lei Tao accompanied me to follow the girls, not once or twice, during that time, almost every day we both did this, the two of us were like two shadows, following behind a group of girls, they walked and we walked, they stopped and we stopped, the most stupid thing is that after following for so long, I didn't dare to come forward to say a word to her. The chicken accompanied me to find a girl's place to live in case I needed it in the future. One weekend golf, a girl ran to see, at that time I showed special sales power, when I went back, I sat in the numb car, and when I saw the girl halfway, I also stretched out of the car to say hello. Jizi asked me, do you really like her that much? I said, yes. At that time, I didn't know that this little girl went to watch playing, not to see me at all, but to see another boy. That time I fell when I was shooting backwards? It was as if half of my body was wet.

In the first year of high school, the art festival was preceded by the sports festival, and in two events, hurdles won the first place in the group, and long-distance running won the first place in the group. Of course, this is not the point, the point is that the women's 100 meters, the first in the 17th group, but this kid used too much force, twisted his foot, and then in the final, he came to the end. This was normal at the time, but I saw Seventeen crying. I thought, well, this kid is good.

That year's Sports Festival, the afternoon sun was warm.

Later, the art festival rehearsed the drama, and the secretary of the League who held the power said that I should play the male lead, I was very happy, and later I learned that the male number one means that you have to make up a script by yourself first, and then direct it yourself, and then, you are the male number one. Hehe, self-written, self-directed and self-acted, I don't want you to be the male number one?

Before high school, I was actually a rookie and had never organized an event or performed in public — if a fight didn't count.

In fact, I was a literary youth at that time.

Wang Huang, a Chinese teacher in the first year of high school, just graduated from college and a girl with good literacy, was the representative of the first class selection, and I did not hesitate to grab the jackpot, and I robbed that identity. Wang Huang often chatted with me, it was a normal recess, she called me to the corridor outside the classroom, the pure sunlight hit her face in the morning, outlining her white smile, classmates walked by in twos and threes, she whispered to me what I have long forgotten, only remember that she reached out to help me pick up the bangs that blocked my eyes.

At that time, when I wrote a weekly diary, my writing was quite good, but there was always a sadness of youth between the lines. At first she didn't believe it, thinking that I didn't have to do that, but then I happened to write about rain, and I said, I like it because the whole world is clean and quiet, and even the soul can open its arms smoothly. She said, it turns out that you are always so lonely, even when you laugh, and lonely in the crowd.

So, I, a literary and artistic youth, wrote a script: "You at the Same Table".

If I hadn't sung the song "Stubborn" with the chickens at the beginning, I don't think I would have wanted to go on the stage of the performance, and there would not have been "You at the Same Table", let alone so many joys and sorrows later.

After a lot of ups and downs, the script was almost written, and then I thought that we needed to intersperse a dance in this play.

I don't know how to dance, and neither do chickens, who should I turn to?

At the end of the festival, Seventeen went back to rest because of a broken foot, and two days later the child returned, and the dragon and the tiger, Lei Guan and Chen Zhen and the others went up to greet the hero's return, she smiled shyly, her face was slightly red, her head was slightly lowered, "just like the shyness of the water lotus by the river" - she walked to her seat and sat down as fast as she could, and the petite little girl sat in the first row.

In the evening self-study, I squatted in front of her desk and said, "Seventeen, help arrange the dance."

Seventeen said, "Okay."

Detonator boasted to us that the seventeenth elementary and junior high school could be called the school's dance queen, and won numerous awards. I said, in that case, you can dance with Seventeen, anyway, we are poor, and you don't have an important role.

The first time I saw Seventeen and Thunder rehearsing their dance, I knew I didn't have to worry about it.

Later, the chicken said, our show is not over, and you are the only one left in our class, so I will be a producer for you.

I said, I'm the producer.

Jizi said, it's okay, then I'll be the producer.

I said, I'm the producer.

Jizi said, I'm the secretary of the League anyway, save some face.

I said, okay, then you be the logistics director.

Detonator disagrees, and I have always been in charge of logistics.

I said, "Chicken, you should be a substitute actor."

The chicken said, I grass your sister.

At that time, my tablemate was Song Lili. In the whole first year of high school, that was the only time I shared a table with a girl, and when the head teacher Tan Hong loved to make up the seats, she always made me the last place, and didn't give me a lesbian table, which made me very complaining at that time.

Every couple of men and women who have been at the same table for a long time will have feelings related to love?

I'm really embarrassed, but now that I think about it, the first scene that impressed me was when Song Lili came back after dinner and told me that the claypot rice I went out to eat today was green pepper and shredded pork.

I said, oh. I didn't ask her at the time, what is claypot rice?

Song Lili is in good shape. It may be inappropriate to say this at the beginning, but I can't really blame me, that winter, every time this guy came back from dinner, he would take off his coat so hot, revealing his body outlined by his sweater. This guy usually looks very ladylike, but occasionally two swear words pop out of his mouth. At the time, I thought, wow, that's a good swear word – sexy.

She hadn't borrowed half an eraser from me. Just kidding, don't you know that everything at the table is common? She didn't say that graduation was far away, she would only say to the physics workbook, this Nima can't be, how to get into college when the time comes.

Afterward? Later, because we were all simple and poor boys and girls, we had a fight.

Oh, and forgot to mention, her sweater is black.

Seventeen has never been my tablemate, and of course, eating outside of school doesn't count.

What does Seventeen look like when he dances?

Well, I just remember that when she was spinning, she held two ribbons in her hands, and they flew into a circle, like a dancing flame.

When the show was performing, the stage lights hit my eyes, I couldn't see the audience, I only had the stage in my eyes, and the white expanse outside the stage, I couldn't even hear my own heartbeat, I was busy catching up with the picture, so when I performed at Seventeen, what I remember would be the two flying ribbons.

However, I forgot what color those two ribbons were.

It didn't matter though, I remember the color of her smile.

After the dormitory lights go out, when they are not in a hurry to do their homework, the twelve people in the dormitory will chat and fart. Two men talk about ideals, three men talk about politics, and a group of men can only talk about female classmates.

A couple of men and women in our class got along, and this became our talking point. Cucumber nestled under the covers and called his girlfriend, which was also our conversation. Later, the class of the girl I liked in junior high school became a topic of conversation.

Playing cards with cucumbers, buns, and Gu Bo, the teacher checked on the bed, and everyone was busy collecting cigarette butts, so the cards and lamps were taken away - I didn't smoke at that time. Baozi was lying on the bottom bunk, he took a puff of cigarette and said, Tao, tell me about your girlfriend.

I said, I don't have a girlfriend.

Baozi said, let's talk about the ex.

I'm shy, and I don't have an ex.

Baozi said, who believes.

Cucumber said, "When you were dreaming, I heard you call the girl's name."

I said, "That's what I'm calling you by the name of your horse."

Cucumber said, you are a horse.

After that, Cucumber called his girlfriend.

Many times, you have to lose it to know what you want to cherish, sometimes, when you have to leave, you know what you are most reluctant to do, and there are other times when the plot is about to end, and you suddenly want to grab something.

At the end of the first year of high school, I called the detonator and said, thank you Seventeen for helping, if it wasn't for her, we wouldn't be able to do that show.

Thunder-tube said, why don't you thank me?

I said, all of you, I want to be thankful.

Detonator didn't speak.

The story, just in this season that should have ended, suddenly began.

All endings are beginnings, and all beginnings can't get rid of the ends.

At the beginning of the story, I was not hopelessly in love with "Contentment", and our life at that time was "Stubborn". Two years later, when I hummed "If I fall in love with your smile, how do I collect it, how do I have it?" At that time, the script was already over, and as the original writer and director, I couldn't give it a sequel.

When I was in high school, I didn't read Guo Jingming, and I liked Han Han's books at that time. The only time I bought Guo Jingming's book was to give 17 copies of "Phantom City".

I really watched "Phantom City" in the second year of junior high school. One night, there was no one at the mouse's house, so he called me to accompany him, and then he turned on the computer to play on the computer, and I sat on the bed behind him and watched "Phantom City". At a certain point in the middle, the mouse danced because he killed a monster and exploded a superb piece of equipment, and I lay on the bed, clutching "Phantom City" and silently shed tears. At that time, looking at the back of the mouse trembling with excitement, I quietly thought, is this the difference between Yashi and Tubaozi, how can you understand the noble feelings of a literati who only know how to play games?

The first love of the mouse junior high school was shattered because of an exciting love letter, and my first love, in the corrosion of the restless years, was gradually riddled with holes, so that it finally drifted in the cold wind and couldn't find the direction to go. When the two people go against each other, the figure gradually fades away, and the love-hate entanglement of the past and present is just a dream of Nanke.

Detonator and Seventeen are excellent friends, and in my sophomore year of high school, when all my freshman classmates would always make fun of me and Detonator, I started chasing Seventeen. At that time, I was the head of the student union organization, and the student union conducted daily routine health checks, and I would always use my authority to go to the area of the seventeenth class during the weekly rotation, and at that stage of high school, scandals were always popular with everyone, and this was also one of our few pastimes. When almost everyone who knew me knew about it, I was rejected by Seventeen.

I remember a conversation, I invited Seventeen out to dinner on the weekend, as a routine rule in the circle of friends, this time I invite next time it must be her to invite, and she must also have to invite back. The first time I paid the bill, the second time I still paid the bill, Seventeen said that he was very dissatisfied with my behavior, and I said, then next time you can invite me. Seventeen said, yes, you want to trick me into coming out for dinner again, right?

It's really a heartless conversation.

As a strong-willed person, I continue to pursue the journey of Seventeen.

There are meals, there are plays, there are information calls, and there are others.

As a result, the third year of high school is coming, and people haven't caught up yet. So, I concentrated on preparing for the exam.

We're all good students, yes.

Later, Ray Tube asked, what the hell is going on between you and Seventeen?

Actually, I think she should know the answer to this question better than I do when she asks it.

After a long time, including so many years that have passed, until now, I occasionally think of those years.

However, after many years, what I miss, what I miss, what I miss, is it the person Seventeen? Maybe it is, or maybe it isn't.

Just like I often discussed with Lei Tao in junior high school, you can't let go of this person, what you miss, what you like, is it really this person? At that time, Lei Tao would say after groaning, I can't let go, what I miss, what I like, not this person, at least not the current person; What I can't let go, what I miss, what I like, is the memories from before.

In fact, what we can't let go, what we miss, what we love deeply, is that period of youth.

In the summer vacation after graduating from high school, we came to Padang to play, and we walked from this end of the Yangtze River Bridge to that end together, the bridge was very dusty, it was very hot that afternoon, we sweated a lot, and there were many pedestrians on the street that night, but they were not in my eyes. At that time, I hadn't read "The Best Child".

The last scene of that meeting was You Wuyuan Cave. At the time of parting, I sent seventeen poems that I wrote myself. She probably didn't remember the poem, but it didn't matter, I did.

-- When I hate parting the most in my life, I have never met my old acquaintance in another country. Alone and went to the south bank of the Yangtze River, the boat fluttered and the old acquaintance.

Where are you now, where am I now.

In our lives, how many people we have liked, how many people we have lingered, but in the end, we can't escape this fate - forget each other in the rivers and lakes.

This year of barren smoke and grass, this brightly lit street.