[Netizen]: Su Xiaoliu, you are too bad, so scared to pee your pants?

[Netizen]: I'll rub! Is it really as the little girl said, you are hereditary incontinence?

[Netizen]: The courage is too small, people are going to rebel through the Qing Dynasty, how can you be so daring?

[Netizen]: Alas, Xiaoliu, you are so disappointing!

[Netizen]: How does this camera move down, I want to see how big a puddle of urine is!

[Netizen]: Poof-

[Netizen]: What hobbies do you have? Do you have this quirk?

"That," Su Xiaoliu was also embarrassed, although he blushed a little with shame, but he still defended, "You guys are about to put the knife in my flesh, can I not be afraid?" ”

"Then you have to say if you want to pee," the guard looked at his shoes while returning the knife to the sheath, "I made this 'Fusheng Zhai', a time-honored brand in Beijing, how can you make me turn around and be an errand?" ”

"What is Fushengzhai for?" Su Xiaoliu turned his head and asked Zhu Shaowen, "Roast duck restaurant?" ”

"What a roast duck shop!" The knife on Zhu Shaowen's neck was also removed, and he sorted out his long shirt up and down, "That's an old shoe shop!" ”

"Okay, okay," Su Xiaoliu waved his hand to the guard, "When the show is over, you go to me, I should have less money for shoes, and I will compensate you according to the amount, okay?" ”

"That's pretty much it. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 The guard was satisfied, turned around and took a step, only to feel that his feet were wet and sticky and extremely uncomfortable, and complained, "I don't know if it will catch athlete's foot!" Really! ”

"Hey!" Su Xiaoliu pointed at him and scolded: "How is this talking? How is it possible to get athlete's foot? I'm a child's urine, can I defeat the fire, do you understand? ”

[Netizen]: Oh-

[Netizen]: Xiaoliu, Xiaoliu, can you really blow it, dare to say that you are a child?

[Netizen]: The prostate can't hold back the pee, and dare to say that he is a child?

"Hey, Second Brother Zhu," Su Xiaoliu saw that Zhu Shaowen was also following the guards to leave, and hurriedly stopped him, "Why are you leaving?" Don't we have to go on? ”

"The smell of your boy's urine is too strong," Zhu Shaowen didn't dare to reply, covering his nose and walking, "I'll go down and rest for a while, and ask my junior brother to come up and give you a treat!" ”

"This," Su Xiaoliu shook his head and sighed, "Today's cross talk is too unpleasant, the burden hasn't been thrown yet, and it is always interrupted!" ”

At this time, Shen Chunhe walked up to the stage, waved his hand to the other side, and then settled down, picked up the waking wood and slapped it heavily on the table.

After all, Su Xiaoliu learned in the Quyi School, as soon as the waking wood sounded, he immediately entered the performance state, and he saw that there were still some people in the audience on the other side who were still shocked, so he straightened his waist, took a step forward, and said loudly:

"It's chilling under your feet,

It's like a lion rolling a hydrangea.

Some people say it's the spring breeze and cold,

Some people say that it is a secluded pool.

I said you're not right,

……”

"And why do you say that?" Shen Chunhe asked.

"Actually," Su Xiaoliu pointed to his feet, "the steel knife is flowing in the throat!" ”

"Whew!" Shen Chunhe said, "You're scared to pee!" Wouldn't it be cold when your shoes are wet? ”

After the poem was finished, the other side of the strait quieted down, and began to pay attention to Su Xiaoliu's cross talk, putting aside what had just happened for the time being.

"You weren't here just now," Su Xiaoliu defended, "Those steel knives are against the throat, if you are not careful, you may spill blood on the spot, can I not be afraid?" ”

"Then you're going to pee on the spot?" Shen Chunhe shook his head and sighed, "However, this is also in line with your identity as a!" ”

"I'm a gentleman," Su Xiaoliu pointed to himself, "It has nothing to do with the sassy person you said!" ”

"Are you still going to continue to talk about the book engraved by Lord Qianlong?" Shen Chunhe asked, "If you can't get it, you have to lose your head!" ”

"The royal carving belongs to the imperial carving," Su Xiaoliu said, "The book was not written by Emperor Qianlong, don't we want to ask the princes and adults for advice?" ”

"Yes," Shen Chunhe made an open expression, "Anyway, if you want to die, someone will bury it, so you can continue to ask for advice!" ”

Su Xiaoliu continued: "Our graceful school of reading is slightly different from you. ”

"What's the difference?"

"We can read between the lines," Su Xiaoliu said, "find out the slightest trace of the unknown and shy affection of the characters in the book!" ”

"We don't understand this, you have to tell me!"

"For example," Su Xiaoliu rolled up his sleeves, "There is a copy of "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" in the four famous books, do you know? ”

"That's too knowing! Not only do I know, but all the princes here know it. Among the flag people, this "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" is a must-read! ”

"That," Su Xiaoliu thought for a while, "Let's just talk about this section of the 'Battle of Red Cliffs', before the burning of Cao Cao's warship, there was a 'group of heroes' designed by Zhou Yu and Zhou Gongjin of Eastern Wu, you know?" ”

"Oh, it's the paragraph of "Jiang Gan's Book Theft"!"

"That's right!" Su Xiaoliu's hands danced wildly, and he began to describe, "This Jiang Gan Jiang Ziyi and Zhou Yu are old classmates, at this time, the armies of Eastern Wu and Cao Cao are facing each other across the water on both sides of the Yangtze River, and the war is about to break out. ”

"Yes, Cao Cao's sailor warship is 800,000!"

Su Xiaoliu continued: "Jiang Gan, as Cao Cao's strategist, is ready to cross the river to persuade Zhou Yu to surrender, I don't want Zhou Yu to set up a strategy, set up a banquet, accompany the heroes of Eastern Wu, and drink with Jiang Gan. ”

"That's right, Zhou Yu was still dancing and singing at that time!"

"After drinking too much," Su Xiaoliu's expression began to change, "Zhou Yu said to Jiang Gan, listen, the key words are here!" ”

"What did you say?"

"Zhou Yu said," Su Xiaoliu said word by word, "'I haven't slept with Ziyi for a long time, and I will sleep tonight', listen, this is to sleep in the same bed with Jiang Gan!" ”

"What's so strange about this," Shen Chunhe said, "They are old classmates, and they must have slept on the same bunk before!" ”

"Isn't that unusual?" Su Xiaoliu pretended to be surprised, "Classmates are not in the same bed, did they go to school before, or did they go to the same bed?" Besides, don't forget, what is the name of this Jiang Ziyi? ”

"Call Jiang Gan!" Shen Chunhe didn't think there was anything wrong.

"Ah, it's called!" Su Xiaoliu's expression seemed to contain many secrets that could not be said, "Listen to this name!" ”

The crowd on the other side of the river couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"You," Shen Chunhe said, "must have misinterpreted the meaning of this." ”

"Then look back," Su Xiaoliu continued, "This Zhou Yu is drunk and asleep, Jiang Gan has a task and doesn't dare to sleep." Then he got up to look at Zhou Yu, and saw that Zhou Lang: Luo socks were tall, and two crescent moons were exposed on his shoulders; The golden hairpin fell diagonally, and a dark cloud piled up next to the pillow. It is just the sound of the warbler, which does not leave the ears. Sweetly spitting with relish, smiling and sticking out the tip of the tongue. The willow waist veins are thick, and the cherry mouth is slightly panting. ……”

"Stop," Shen Chunhe hurriedly stopped him, "Did you pick up the "Three Kingdoms" at home after wiping it in the toilet and stick it to the "Golden Vase Plum"?" ”

"What's wrong?" Su Xiaoliu looked innocent, "Isn't this text right?" ”

"How can this Zhou Yu be 'willow waist and cherry mouth'?" Shen Chunhe said, "You are Pan Jinlian in "Golden Vase Plum"! ”

"Isn't that Jiang Gan drunk," Su Xiaoliu quibbled, "Zhou Yu was born white and clean, and his face was like jade, so Jiang Gan was a little tempted!" People have to be worthy of their names, right? ”

"Whew!" Shen Chunhe said, "You always mention the name of the family!" ”

"A graceful lyricist like me," Su Xiaoliu said, "not only can I find some tenderness and sweetness from this "Three Kingdoms", but I also like to read some books that specifically describe parting sorrows and resentments. ”

"Tell me what other books you like to read?"

"I love to watch "Dream of Red Mansions"!" Su Xiaoliu raised his orchid fingers and performed gracefully, "The one in this book is the most in line with our graceful faction, that sister Lin Daiyulin!" ”

"Ho, look at what you call this sour!"

"There's a section here called 'Daiyu Burial Flowers'," Su Xiaoliu looked like he was enjoying it very much, "Oh, I like it so much." ”

"Are you smoking a lot? Or is it evil? ”

"What evil?" Su Xiaoliu came back to his senses, "I think this part of the funeral flower is the most in line with my heart." ”

"Then you won't be twisted like that!"

"Look at this Lin Daiyu," Su Xiaoliu described again, "sweep up the fallen flowers, put them in a silk bag, and then bury them with soil, build a flower mound, and let them bloom with the soil. Oops, every time I see this, I can't help but ......" and began to pretend to wipe away tears.

"You hold back first," Shen Chunhe hurriedly stopped him, "Let's wait until the show is over and go to the toilet to relieve ourselves, okay?" Don't always pee on the table! ”

"Who said I'm going to be relieved?" Su Xiaoliu said angrily, "Do I want to relieve my emotions?" You see, the tears that were stirred up by you just came out and were held back again! ”

"Well, let's just say that you are more moved and it's over!"

"Very impressed!" Su Xiaoliu said, "Like me, I also have the same temperament as Lin Daiyu on weekdays, and when I encounter these fallen flowers and leaves, I am often sad and reluctant!" ”

"Oh, you're saying that your temperament is similar to this Lin Daiyu."

"yes." Su Xiaoliu said, "Like when I eat watermelon in summer, I can't bear to chew watermelon seeds when I eat them." ”

"Then you can't stop spitting up."

"Spit it out," Su Xiaoliu looked inseparable, "I can't bear to abandon it so quickly!" ”

"And what do you do?"

"I'll just take this watermelon seed," Su Xiaoliu said, "I swallowed." ”

"Oh, that's it? Why? ”

Su Xiaoliu made an emotional look and said: "Just let the watermelon seeds sleep with me for a night, and get up and go to the toilet the next day, you can see you again!" ”

"Ho!" Shen Chunhe kept shaking his head, "Oh, you are really affectionate and righteous to this watermelon seed!" ”

[Netizen]: Oh-