6. Isn't there a saying on the Internet a few days ago that drinking more water at night is equivalent to setting an alarm clock for your bladder to get up early, and then a buddy in our dormitory is excited to experiment. Then we drank hard before going to bed at night, and the next morning we woke up with no one in the child's bed! Not only that, but there was no quilt on the bed!! 7. When I was in high school, I stayed in the dormitory, and the school management was very strict, and there was a female man in our class, who was notoriously tough. One night I was too yearning for the outside world, she put on high heels and sunglasses (big night, I really don't know what she thought) and walked to the school gate very high-profile to stop her, and she couldn't go out without a leave note, she said, I came to see the child late, and there is a baby waiting to be fed at home! Then, then the head teacher went to pick up people....... Dad: Come back so late, is it punished by the teacher again! Son: Well, the teacher asked me what 3 plus 2 is, and I said 5! Then he asked me what 2 plus 3 was! Dad: Isn't this the same! Son: yes, that's what I said! Then the teacher got angry

As soon as I went out, I saw a little boy standing up against my car door, and I shouted, "Stop." The little boy stood there in fright, motionless. I asked, "What are you doing next to the car?" The little boy blushed and said, "I...... I'm just washing the car for you for free. "When I got to the car, it turned out that he was urinating on the tires of my car......

Bad people have done bad things all their lives, and in the end they have done a good thing, and they will be praised! It is said that this person is not bad in nature! Good people have done good things for a lifetime, and as long as you do a bad thing, people will say that you have pretended to be a lifetime! What a painful realization! 2. You put 00 yuan on the front and back of the double sided tape to the bank ATM machine to deposit money, deposit the money in, and then cancel, you will be surprised to find that the spit out is sometimes 200 and sometimes 300, not to mention the confession. 3. What is the most motherly man like? God replied: Jerk off with an orchid finger. 4. Foreigners make fun of the Chinese: It makes no sense for you to be vain. Chinese answer: The first year refers to the time when a person comes out of the mother's body, and the imaginary age refers to the time when a person comes out of the father's body. Foreigners exclaimed: Chinese ancestors are too talented! 5. Fat with high, dragged with bad, wooden with wind. Disturb; Delicate with irritable, quiet with noisy. Flat chest with small hands; The innocent girl is matched with a big local tyrant, the female man is matched with a dead, and the thousand-year-old scheming table is matched with everything and doesn't care about everything. 6. "As long as you give me a bed, I can sleep until the end of the world!" "Is the coffin okay!?" 7. I'm smiling all over my face. As if juggling, he took out a large bouquet of roses from his back: "Dangdang, dang!" Flowers for the beauties! The goddess frowned and took two steps back. I quickly took the flowers away and asked, "Are you allergic to flowers?" "No, allergic to cow dung." I wore a pair of pants for three years, then a cropped pants for another three years, and then a cropped pants for three years. I should still be able to wear shorts now...... Compare with me to be more economical? Hum!

A college student went to climb the mountain, and after walking a short distance, he was too tired to walk, so he asked the drink vendor: "How far is it to the top of the mountain?" The peddler looked at him with disdain and said, "You bought a ticket for 0 yuan, and you climbed a mountain for less than 5 yuan, how far do you say?" "2. A poor scholar who went to Beijing to take the exam went to the broken temple to take shelter from the rain, and met a young lady, who was very close to the young lady's poetry. That night they made a private pact for life. The next day, the scholar had to continue on his journey, and he and the young lady said goodbye and promised: "If I pass the examination, I will definitely come to the door to marry." As soon as the young lady waited for the scholar to leave, she recorded his name in the book, and said to herself: "This is already the 60th scholar!" There will always be one who will pass the exam! "3. Dad: Son, let me ask you, who will you save first when your daughter-in-law and I fall into the river? Son: I want to know who you are asking out now...... 4. Passing by a bedroom today, I heard a buddy say: After washing my hair with laundry detergent, my hair is so hard. It also smells like **. One person immediately responded that it was better to wash with toothpaste, which was not only cool but also had a minty smell. I was completely dumbfounded with the shampoo I had just bought...... 5. I smoke the saddest cigarette in the world, because pronouncing its name is like crying: 555. I hold the most comforting jar in the world. Hope they can come back to me: Fenjiu? Must be combined. 6. When I was in junior high school, there was a girl who drank milk in order to grow taller, but she only grew breasts but not her. One day, when the teacher entered the classroom, he saw two or three students sleeping on the table, and woke them up one by one. After returning to the podium, the teacher glanced at the class, and finally stopped at the girl's desk and said, "Classmate, please take your pillow off...... After 3 seconds, the classroom was boiling, and after 3 hours, the school was boiling.

It's been three years, for you and I quit smoking, quit drinking, and I don't have time to play online games, and I was bullied by you for not being human, and today I finally turned over...... Brat!!! I'm going to send you to kindergarten!! 2. In the men's bathroom, if a person suddenly stops all movements while washing, his eyes are focused, and he doesn't know what he is thinking, then he must be urinating, and the bathroom manager who grabbed me said this. 3. I bought a portable signal blocker on the Internet, and I disconnected the network wherever I went, so that everyone could not play with their mobile phones and return to their family and friends, I think I am really a person with great love. 4. Sanguan is actually an abbreviation, and the full name is Sanguan, which happens to be the same as me. 5. On a blind date with a beautiful girl, she asked: Do you have a house, a car and a deposit? I was silent for a moment and said, "No." When the girl heard this, she said, "I have, let's be together." Alas, such a good thing happened to me, and made me happy...... Laughed awake...... 6. Just during the work break, the master asked me: What are your wishes this year? Me: I have two wishes, the first one is to surprise my girlfriend with a huge gift on her birthday. The master said, "Yes, good man, what about the second one?" I took a deep breath of my cigarette and slowly exhaled a few words: find a girlfriend......

On March 4, Nanchang Daily newspaper said that it is necessary to widely publicize the destocking policy, form a consensus, and publicize the concept of "farmers buying houses in the city is appreciation, and building houses in the countryside is depreciation". 2. The central level is called the chief, the provincial level is called the leader, the prefecture level is called the brother, the county level is called the partner, the township level is called the dog, and the village level is called the dog. day. One day, the secretary of the leader notified: In the near future, the leader will accompany the chief to inspect the work, and ask the brothers to tell the guys, tell them to get ready, don't let the dog. The day was messed up. 3. The next door neighbor is quarrelling, and the woman says that the man is not single-minded and is a fickle person, but the man strongly denies it. Niu Niu couldn't help it, knocked on their door, pointed to the man's nose and said, "I can testify, you are a fickle!" Tell me, how many times have you changed your IFI password this month?! 4. Female: "Let's go out to play on Wednesday." Man: "No money." Woman: "Didn't you say to raise me?" I don't want to take me out to play. Man: "I only keep them in captivity, not free-range." "5. Only in things like the divorce of singers can people have real words. On freedom. "Hehe, that's popular, you try to change nationalities. 7. "Just because you deserted in class and were delayed for one minute, fifty classmates are fifty minutes, are you ashamed?" Xiao Ming: "Teacher, in the same spatial dimension, the single time cannot be accumulated repeatedly. "You're fired." "To be a man with backbone, how can you kneel down in order to lend money to others?" "What does it matter, there is borrowing and repaying, and when the time comes, he will kneel and beg me to pay him back!"

What do you regret the most so far? Curious, learned to shop online. Do you have the most regrettable thing? Showing off, taught the wife. 2. Customer: How does the boss sell this dog? Boss: 500. Customer: Oh, how much does this cage cost? Boss: 000. Customer: Isn't it, it's more expensive than a dog? Boss: You think you're more expensive than the house you live in! 3. Teacher: Please use a deep sentence of affection. Xiao Ming: Today, a network of love is opened, free all day, hurry up and go! Teacher: Get out... 4. Dad said, son, as a man, you can bow your head, but you must not bend your waist! Dad, is this why you are lazy and don't cut the bud rice straw?! 5. Teacher: "Am I beautiful?" Student: "Beauty!" Teacher: "That would describe my beauty in one sentence!" Student: "I think you alone can revive Dongguan!" 6. Wife: My dear, if I am bitten by a poisonous snake, will you help me suck it out like on TV? Husband: I am a good citizen, and the law stipulates that we must resolutely resist drug use! 7. Teacher: "Who just knows what stories are written in the four famous books?" Get out of class early today. Xiao Ming: "Teacher, I know, it was the four masters and apprentices who learned the scriptures in the west, and the three people fought the landlord on the way, and as a result, Jia Baoyu won and forced one hundred and eight heroes to Liangshan." Teacher: "You get out of here."

When I got up in the morning, my wife opened her eyes and said to her husband, "It's good to get up every day and see you and the sunshine." The husband asked angrily, "Who is Yang Guang?" 2. Me: "Why is the years a ******, and there are still so many good-looking people who are still so good-looking no matter how long it has been?" Mother: "Silly boy, that's because ****** killed pigs." 3. I didn't get a job after graduating from college, and when I came home, my father said, "I gave you a sack of money to buy a few sacks of books, and in the end, I couldn't even afford a sack of books after selling them!" "Dad, what you say is incisive! 4. Two gangsters rushed into the bank and shouted: "Don't move, hand over all the money!" I saw a sweeping aunt rushing out with a mop, and beating them randomly: "I just dragged the ground, just dragged the ground, roll me rough, get out 5, I usually like to hide things with my son, today, I found that I couldn't find my wallet." So he asked his son, "Where is Daddy's wallet?" The son said happily: "Haha, I'll hide it for you!" "6. I scolded my husband and got angry, and my husband threw the door and went out. Me: "Why are you going?" Husband: "Monk." Me: "Don't come back if you kind!" Half an hour later, my husband shaved his head and came back and said, "The master said that I am not finished!" (To be continued.) )