(a)

The moment of failure is always bleak. Pen, fun, and www.biquge.info

This is especially true on the sports field, where the main goal is the pursuit of success.

After the Xiyuan training camp, the performance of the whole team has improved significantly, except for one person who is not angry.

This person who is not angry is me.

After about 2/3 semesters after the training camp, I was in a very unstable state. In various training and competitions, he often made inexplicable mistakes, not only did he fail to achieve the expected results, but also affected the overall results of the whole team many times.

I could clearly feel the pressure around me, even though the teachers and classmates expressed it in a way that was encouraging, understanding, comforting, and looking forward to it.

You are also obviously under the blame and pressure because of my inconsistent grades. You've never talked to me about that, but I can feel it.

It made me feel more pressure.

I've been in a state of malaise. I've been in a bad mood. Even when I'm playing normally, I'm not happy.

I've always wanted to live in isolation.

I longed to be alone.

Every group activity makes me deeply tormented.

I often try to escape. Almost, a reckless evasion.

You notice my silence in the crowd, and my inner escape.

(b)

On one occasion, I made another low-level mistake that was impressive. The difference in standard, even lower than the freshmen who just joined the team in the first year, made Coach Wang feel that he couldn't round the field for me.

Seeing that I was listless, unrelenting, completely unenterprising, and without any intention of introspection, Director Wang endured and endured, and finally couldn't bear it anymore, he almost couldn't restrain himself, and he was about to get angry with me.

That afternoon, he called me into the guidance office, and he walked up to me, walked over, and he nodded my nose. He couldn't figure out how to start a volcanic eruption.

Just as he was about to shout "Xinxin, what the hell are you doing now", you walked in from outside.

Seeing your appearance, Director Wang's angry roar hit two circles in his throat and eyes, and swallowed it back.

You looked at Director Wang's blushing face and thick neck, and said, "Old Wang, don't be angry. I'll talk to her. ”

Director Wang glared at me and silently agreed.

You glanced at me. I looked down at my toes.

You say, "Come with me." I'll show you something. ”

(c)

At that time, it was almost dusk. The training of the track and field team and the radio team has been dispersed. The stadium was empty.

We sat side by side on the concrete steps of the circular stand.

Where the steps were broken, grass stretched out through the cracks in the concrete. It swayed in the wind.

I watched the sun set over the huge arch.

I didn't say a word.

I'm confused. I don't like the state I am in, but there's no way out of it.

Thousands of entanglements. It's all unspeakable.

You haven't spoken.

You sit next to me and watch the sunset change its colors and listen to the evening breeze blowing through the treetops overhead.

On your face, I see a beautiful light. See your face as well-proportioned as an ancient Greek sculpture.

(iv)

Long. I said, "Guide, don't you criticize me?" ”

You look back, and you look at me with a smile.

You say, "Do you want to be criticized?" ”

I said, "But I should be criticized." This semester, I really did too badly, and it was a waste of the teachers' hard work. ”

You laugh again.

You say, "It's very valuable to have that kind of understanding." ”

You say, "If you feel sad not to be criticized, help me criticize yourself." ”

You say, "In this way, you can grasp the balance better, just so that you feel liberated and not cause you to feel a new sadness." ”

I didn't expect you to say that.

I look at you in amazement.

You smile softly again.

(5)

After a while. I said, "Guide, didn't you bring me here just to point out my mistakes?" ”

You shake your head. You say, "I didn't bring you here to point out your mistakes. ”

I said, "So, is it to help me improve my shortcomings?" ”

You shake your head again. You say, "It's not to help you improve on the shortcomings." ”

I said, "So, is it to prevent Director Wang from being upset and angry when he looks at me?" ”

You shake your head for the third time. You smiled: "It's not entirely to keep Director Wang from being upset and angry when he looks at you." ”

I looked at you in amazement.

I said, "Well, why did you bring me here?" ”

You say, "In order for you to enjoy the moment of failure." ”

You say, "In order for you, in such a beautiful light, in such a beautiful place, to enjoy the moment of failure." ”

You say, "In order for you to experience and experience all kinds of inner turmoil and all kinds of emotional pain." ”

You say, "To let you enjoy the wind, and the smoke over there, the sound of the bird's wings touching the leaves." To make you feel that life doesn't end there, and life doesn't wither. The world is still alive and well. ”

You say, "To make all this a good memory." ”

You say, "In order for you, at the age of 70, to look back on this moment this afternoon and feel its beauty and warmth from time away." ”

You say, "In order for you to remember everything about today at that moment, you can say: What a nostalgic afternoon." ”

You say, "So that you can say, 'What a wonderful failure, when I was younger?' ”

You say, "Just like you see in a lot of books." Many writers reminisce about the troubles of youth when they become adults. ”

(f)

You look at me. You say, "Xinxin, all kinds of failure moments, in fact, are also very beautiful. ”

You say, "If we can truly appreciate that there is a holy beauty in all the failures in life, then we will win a more solid success." ”

You say, "What we have to train for through the sport of shooting, or through all kinds of other life activities, is this kind of stronger success." ”

You say, "I really don't have anything to criticize you." ”

You say, "I hope you enjoyed this afternoon, you liked this failure, you liked the troubles at the moment, you liked this conversation we had." Like all of this, it's happening. At the same time, it is in the past. ”

You say, "I just want to sit next to you as your friend and make you feel that you are not alone in such a low time." That's it. “

(g)

Your words hit me strongly. It has been penetrating the deepest part of my heart.

I lowered my head and fiddled with the key rope of the locker. There is a small fish made of red silk thread on it. It was jumping and jumping between my fingers.

You look at the little fish for a moment.

You say, "Heart, have you ever thrown a stone into the water?" ”

I look at you and say, "Throw." ”

You say, "If a stone is thrown into the water, will there be ripples on the surface of the water?" ”

I said, "Yes." It is bound to appear. ”

You say, "It's the same with our heart lake, if there are stones thrown in, it will ripple, there will be turmoil." This is the law of nature. This is nature, this is normal. ”

You say, "Xinxin, you have encountered something in the canyon of the source of the stream that makes you sad, and your heart has fluctuated because of it. Then the fluctuations of your heart affect your grades. It's a natural thing. Nothing is out of the ordinary. ”

You took the key rope out of my hand. You casually turn it into a small complex knot in two clicks. You buckled the little knot in front of my eyes and shook it a little.

You say, "I want to see you able to enjoy this sparkling process of the lake of your heart." Don't get depressed and depressed about a normal process. ”

You say, "When you're able to enjoy the process, you're naturally free from its siege." ”

Your hand moves slightly. The little knot, which was very complicated, fell apart at once. Miraculously, the keyrope turned into a straight line again.

That day, you did it too fast. So, I didn't see the unbuckling process clearly.

You say, "Heart, all the psychological pain in the world, in fact, in the final analysis, is a problem: we don't want to accept that things happen this way and that, we don't want to accept it as it is, we don't want to accept it as it happens." ”

You say, "Heart, you don't have to worry about its existence in this bad state, it will pass by itself." Have you ever seen a ripple that won't calm down? It rippled for a while, and then it stopped. Until then, we all need to accept and endure. “

(viii)

The technical guide in your training diary that day, you wrote: "Failure, or pain, is not a problem. ”

You then write, "Not knowing how to deal with failure, and suffering, is the problem. ”

(ix)

I raised my gun and aimed. I pulled the trigger. I heard the sound of bullets whizzing out of the chamber. I didn't have to look to know that it hit the very center of the target.

I kept pulling the trigger, knowing as if I were a mirror, and one bullet after another hit the black dot in the center.

The bull's-eye pierced by the bullet seemed to be a black plum blossom.

Director Wang looked at the target paper and was so shocked that his jaw was about to fall.

He looks at you: "What did you talk to her about yesterday?" How do you do it? “

You laugh a little, and you say, "We only sat on the steps for a while, watched the beautiful sunset, and listened to the treetops swaying in the wind for a while." ”

You say, "I didn't do anything." ”

You say, "She did it all herself." “

Director Wang looked at me.

I said, "I see." The guide is right. The real target to be knocked down is cowardice and powerlessness in the heart. The target, which is inside. Not outside. (To be continued.) )