(35) Funeral

Parents have just died, the filial son wants to take off the auspicious crown, expose the bun and the silk wrapped in the bun, barefoot, the hem of the deep coat placket on the belt, the hands alternately beat the chest and cry, that kind of sad mood, that kind of painful mood, is really like a burn, can not drink a little water, can not eat a mouthful of food, for three days without a fire, so the neighbors have to boil some porridge for him to drink. Because of the infinite sorrow in his heart, his face is haggard and described as withered; Because I don't want to live, I don't want to eat or drink, and I don't pay attention to anything.

Three days after his death, he held a great gathering. When a dead person is placed on a bed, it is called a corpse, and when it is put in a coffin, it is called a coffin. Every time the corpse is moved, every time the coffin is lifted, the filial son has to cry and stomp his feet to his heart's content. That kind of extremely sad mood, that kind of painful mood, sad and depressed, reached the point where it was about to explode, so the filial son exposed his left arm, stomped his feet and cried bitterly, so as to calm his emotions and vent his frustration. It is not fitting for a woman to bare her left arm, so she opens the front of her coat, beats her chest with both hands, and stomps on the ground with both feet, as if building a wall, which is very sad. Therefore, it is said: beating the chest and stomping the feet, crying bitterly, making a painful voice, and bidding farewell to the dead with a sad mood. The remains of the deceased are sent to the cemetery for burial, and the souls of the deceased are welcomed back and settled.

When the filial son was going to the cemetery for funeral, his eyes looked ahead, showing an anxious expression, as if he was chasing a dead relative and couldn't catch up. When he returned crying after the funeral, the filial son's expression was hesitant, as if there was something on his mind that had not been resolved. Therefore, on the way to the funeral, the filial son cried like a young child who longed for his parents; On the way back after the funeral, he hesitated as if he was worried that the gods of his relatives would not be able to come back with him. full of worries and never finished, when I returned home, I pushed the door to see, but I couldn't see the shadow of my predecessors; When I went to the hall and looked at it again, I still couldn't see the shadow of my relatives; When I went into the living room of my relatives and looked again, I still couldn't see the shadow of my relatives.

In this way, the relatives are truly dead, gone, and can never see each other again. So crying and howling, beating your chest and stomping your feet, you have to vent the sorrow in your heart to the fullest, only in this way can you feel better in your heart. Infinite melancholy, infinite sadness, infinite trance, infinite sighing, what else can be done except sadness and sorrow! Offering sacrifices in the Jongmyo and sacrificing relatives as ghosts and gods is just hoping that the souls of their relatives will be able to come back. After burying his relatives in the tomb, the filial son returned home from the cemetery, and did not dare to enter his bedroom to live, but lived in a simple house, because the relatives who died of grief were still in the wilderness; Sleeping on the grass and using clods of earth as pillows, it is because of grief that the relatives who died are still buried in the soil. Therefore, when I think of it, I cry without time, serve mourning for three years, worry about labor, and think about it day and night, which reflects the willingness of the filial son, and it is also the true expression of people's feelings.

Someone asked, "Why is it that a person is buried three days after death?" The answer is: When the filial son had just passed away his parents, he was sad in his heart, and he couldn't accept it ideologically, so he lay on the corpse and cried bitterly, as if he could cry his parents alive. Therefore, the reason why the burial is done three days later is to wait for the resurrection of the deceased. If he does not come back to life after three days, it means that there is no hope of resurrection, and the belief of filial piety in looking forward to the resurrection of his parents has gradually shaken; And within these three days, the planning of funeral expenses and the preparation of funeral clothes can also be ready; Relatives from afar can also come. Therefore, the saint made a decision based on this situation, and made it a ritual to be buried three days after death.

Someone asked: What is the reason why you can't show your left arm while wearing a crown? The answer is: the crown is the most noble thing, and a person cannot wear a crown when he is naked, otherwise it will be a desecration of the crown, so he specially made to replace the crown. In this way, the bald do not have to wear a free man, the hunchbacked man does not have to bare his left arm, and the lame man does not have to stomp his feet when he cries, but this does not mean that these people are not sad in their hearts, but that they are suffering and cannot fulfill these rituals. Therefore, the funeral is only about sorrow. The woman wept and mourned, beating her chest and being sad; The man weeps and mourns, prostrates to the ground, and does not pay attention to his appearance: these are all expressions of extreme sorrow.

Someone asked, "Why do boys wear it too?" He answered, "It is not the thing worn by the crowned boy." "Etiquette" says: The boy does not serve the people who have the relatives of the clan, only the boy who presides over the family affairs on behalf of the father serves the clansmen. When a boy presides over the family affairs on behalf of his father, he must serve the clansmen who have relatives who practice hemp, and he must wear a mourning cane, and even have to wear a mourning cane.

Someone asked, "What is the mourning rod made of?" He replied, "It is made of bamboo, and it is made of paulownia wood." No matter what it's made of, its role is the same. So for his father he used a straight rod, and the straight rod was made of bamboo; For the mother, he used a cutting rod, which was made of paulownia wood.

Someone asked: Why does a filial son wear a mourning rod during his mourning? He replied: The filial son often weeps because of the death of his parents. Countless people have served three years of mourning with hard work and diligence, and their bodies are sick and their constitution is very weak, and they need to use a rod to support their sick bodies. If the father was alive, he would not dare to carry the mourning rod for his mother, because His Holiness was still alive. The filial son does not carry a mourning rod in the hall, because the hall is the place where the Venerable One is located, and it needs to be avoided. Filial sons should not walk briskly in the hall to show that they are not in a hurry, otherwise it will easily cause their father's sadness. These are the sincerity of filial piety, the true expression of human feelings, and reasonable and reasonable routines, not falling from the sky, nor emerging from the ground, but human feelings should be like this!

*********

(36) Serve the question

When talking about the subordinate clothes, the "Great Biography" chapter once said: Some should have changed to heavier mourning clothes when they wore lighter mourning clothes. For example, the king's concubine only wears a crown on his biological mother, and wears mourning clothes made of small gong cloth, and he takes them off immediately after the burial; And the wife of the concubine has to serve the concubine's biological mother for a year. Some should have followed the heavier mourning clothes and changed to lighter mourning clothes, for example, the wife has been wearing a heavy dress for her parents for a year; And the husband only takes Shao Ma for his parents-in-law, which is light.

For example, the king's concubine does not mourn his distant brother, but the wife of the king's concubine mourns for the distant brother of the concubine. Some should have followed the wearing of filial piety clothes but did not need to follow the wearing of filial piety clothes, for example, the monarch's concubine and his wife's parents, if he is a son-in-law, he can serve Shaoma March, but because he is a son-in-law, he has changed from having clothes to not serving.

The ancient book also says: If the mother is abandoned by the father, the son must mourn for the stepmother's family; If the mother dies, then mourn for the mother's family. Whoever has already mourned for his mother's family will no longer mourn for his stepmother's family.

Originally served three years of mourning, and has passed the sacrifice of Xiaoxiang, it is time to change into a lighter mourning clothes, at this time I encountered the mourning of the period of relatives, and this period of relatives has also been buried, in this case the mourning dress is to tie the waist of the three years of mourning should be changed to a lighter mourning clothes when the kudzu belt, the head is wearing the period of the mourning of the Ge Sutra, wearing the filial piety clothes is a lighter merit. If the funeral is a great funeral, it should be handled accordingly. If the funeral is a small funeral, then there is no need to change the original filial piety.

After three years of mourning, after the burial, it has been turned into a hemp belt for a kudzu belt, and this thing has encountered a great funeral of more than a great achievement, in order to express the mourning for the later mourning, it is necessary to turn the leather belt of the previous mourning into a hemp belt again. After three years of mourning, after arriving in Xiaoxiang, he encountered the funeral of Xiaogong. In this way, when it is necessary to wear exemptions for the mourning of small merits, it is necessary to wear the ornaments of mourning clothes for small merits. The funeral of Xiaogong has been completed, and there is no need to wear it anymore, so the ornaments will also be removed. For small funerals, when the funeral is collected, anyone who needs to wear ornaments must wear ornaments for it, and remove it when they don't need to wear scriptures.