Nangong Qiu was lying on the bed with his eyes open and waiting for him. It seems that this time there was no crying.

Shen Ruoyu walked up to her and said apologetically:

"You should go to bed early, you're too tired of waiting for me."

Nangong Qiu looked at him and asked softly, "Have you seen that Jiaoyun Niang?" ”

Shen Ruoyu hesitated for a moment and said honestly: "Yes, I saw it." However, don't worry, I'm going to find Jing Yuluo, not her. ”

Of course, he couldn't tell Qiu'er that I accidentally saw her ** - now that's enough to drive Qiu'er crazy.

She muttered, "Sooner or later, one day, I will have to enter the Qinglou, and at that time, you can remember me." ”

Shen Ruoyu said: "Qiu'er, don't say that, I know I'm sorry for you, but I really can't help it; I'm a man, you can't let me live like a woman, every day and night is just a child's affection, nothing is going on, if I were that kind of person, you wouldn't look down on me. ”

"So, you have a high-ranking official, and I have also become the envy of Mrs. Shen, and our family is covered with a brilliant aura all over our bodies," Nangong Qiu said lightly, "The price behind all this is that I can't see you day and night, and if I do, it's only a matter of time." No matter when and where, everything you do comes first, putting me last. I want you to be good, I want you to be a big husband and a big hero; And that's my price. Now, I can't figure out what I want. ”

Shen Ruoyu hugged her tightly, feeling very sad: "Qiu'er, these are also my prices, you think I don't want to stay with you every day, just like when I was in Wudang Mountain." But at that time, we were both young, you were just a child, I didn't know how I should spend my life, I didn't have a goal. But now it's different, I finally found my own way, since I came to this world, I should be a big husband in a dignified way, I should do my best and make some real contributions, which is the responsibility that everyone has to bear in their lives. ”

Nangong Qiu said: "If there are few, I also have a goal; Before I met you, my goal was to leave the mountains and see the outside world. After meeting you, my goal is you, and it has always been just you. I also want to fight for my goal with all my might, but now I find that I and yours are in conflict, conflicting; If either of us wants to achieve our dreams, we have to sacrifice the dreams of the other party. Isn't that so? ”

"No, Qiu'er, no;" Shen Ruoyu kissed her gently, and her heart was suddenly full of sourness. "I can't accompany you, but we are not separated, you are my wife, I will never leave you in my life, I will not think about the second woman; I make you endure loneliness and loneliness, and I myself endure it, but I believe that it is not forever, one day everything will pass, you should also believe in me, I have the ability to achieve my ideals, this day will come soon, I can put down all my burdens and stay by your side wholeheartedly. ”

"Aren't you going to think about a second woman?" Nangong Qiu asked lightly, "At least, you are thinking about your mother all the time." ”

Shen Ruoxiao was slightly stunned. "Yes, but - it's not the same thing, how could I not want to be my own mother? Could it be that when you are with me, you never miss your grandfather or uncle? ”

"I really don't think about my uncle very much," Nangong Qiu said, "but I often think about my grandfather, especially recently, when you come home less and less, I miss my grandfather more and more, and I think about Wudang Mountain." I want to go home, I want to go back to Wudang Mountain, back to the time when I sat with you in the Valley of Joy and watched the moon......"

She didn't say anything, the two cheeks fell into it aggrievedly, Shen Ruoyu felt that she must be about to cry, but he was surprised to find that she actually held back her tears and didn't cry.

This made Shen Ruoyu even more distressed. He hugged her tightly and said:

"Qiu'er, if you are sad, you can cry, since when did you learn to endure tears? The Qiu'er I love shouldn't be like this, cry when you want to cry, laugh when you want to laugh, when did you become so sentimental and gloomy? Is it all because of me? Did I make you what you are now? But—when you didn't see me, when you didn't see me, weren't you happier than you are now? You play the piano and read every day, and your life is full and happy, why do you feel lonely with me? You can play the piano and read every day, right? ”

Nangong Qiu said: "When there is no you, that kind of happiness is just a blank, because I don't understand how beautiful and satisfying it feels when two lovers with the same heart play the piano together, read books together, and look at the moon together." After having you, I suddenly realized that my original self was not actually a complete person, you were my other half who had been lost for many years, and now I finally found you, I can no longer be separated from you, and I can no longer bear to return to the ignorant and crippled state of the past. So now, playing the piano and reading alone has become a complete pain for me, and there is no good meaning anymore. Isn't that how you love me? Don't you feel this way, don't you think I'm your other half, and with me, you're a complete person? ”

Shen Ruoyu hesitated for a long time, and said softly: "Qiu'er, you don't know, for men, it is actually easier to feel the kind of incompleteness and incompleteness you said. But the other half we need, the one I longt for, is not only the union of two people, soul and heart, but also the union of **. ”

Nangong Qiu muttered: "Aren't we all of these?" ”

She didn't understand; Shen Ruoyu didn't dare to continue, and said more clearly. He had been tortured out of his body in Yuchun Tower, and now, Qiu'er was softly attached to his arms, but he felt terrified, extremely frightened. If this continues, he should be the one who will cry.

There was so much estrangement and estrangement between them, and he felt that half of the reason was that he was too busy to be with her; The other half is that he has not been able to break through this last step, so that she understands that the joy and resonance that two lovers can share together is not only spiritual.

The feelings of the fusion of spirit and flesh will be completely real, thoroughly solid, and deeply dependent, and can never be separated from each other again.

He sighed softly: "Qiu'er, today is the nineteenth day of July; In less than a month, it's your birthday, and it's been a year since we left Wudang Mountain. ”

Nangong Qiu raised his head; She had just thought of it.

"A year?" She muttered, "What a year......

Shen Ruoxiao said: "Wait until the Mid-Autumn Festival on August 15, I will ask the Son of Heaven for leave, even if something big happens in the court, I will definitely accompany you at home all day, not going anywhere, playing with you during the day, having dinner together at night, and then taking you to the Qinhuai River to see the moon." ”

"Really?" Nangong Qiu couldn't believe this sudden beautiful promise, and asked incredulously.

Shen Ruoyu kissed her eyes: "Of course it's true, what I said will never be reversed, and there will be no change in the slightest." Even if the Yan army fought the river on that day, I will never leave you. After you marry me, this is your first birthday, and I must give it to you. ”

Nangong Qiu was still not sure, and asked cautiously, "A word is a certainty?" ”

Shen Ruoyu said resolutely: "A gentleman's word, the horse is difficult to chase." ”

Nangong Qiu finally smiled, but this smile made Shen Ruoyu extremely distressed. She hugged him tightly and said softly:

"Great, one day, I am also content, and I can know that I am still the most important thing in your heart. Ruoxiao, I love you so much. ”

Shen Ruoyu said: "Silly girl, you are so easy to satisfy." Do you want a gift? ”

Nangong Qiu said: "I want you to stay at home with me every day, but I know it's impossible." ”

Shen Ruoyu said: "Qiu'er, do you remember that sentence "Queqiao Immortal"? ”

"Queqiao Immortal?" Nangong Qiu was stunned for a moment.

"'If the love between the two is long, how can it be in the morning and twilight?' Shen Ruoyu groaned softly. He said: "If I neglect you in order to be busy with my goals, I want you to know that in my heart, it is true that the dream I am pursuing is higher than everything else. But other than that, there is no second person, a second thing higher than you, including myself. Whoever is in line with you, I can sacrifice for you. ”

"That is, you can also sacrifice me for your dreams?"

Shen Ruoyu hesitated. "Qiu'er, you have to have confidence in me, you also have to have confidence in our future, I believe that I will successfully realize my pursuit, one day I will prove to you that you did not wait for me in vain, everything you have paid for me has been rewarded, I am a person worthy of your love and pride."

Nangong Qiu said softly: "You are already here, Ruoxiao, I love you more every day than yesterday, and I am becoming more and more unable to extricate myself." ”

Shen Ruoyu said: "Tell me what gift you want?" If I can do it, if you want my finger, I'll chop it off for you. ”

"I want to," Nangong Qiu said lightly, "I want your index finger, are you willing to do it?" ”

Shen Ruoyu was stunned. "Do you really want to?" He asked, somewhat incredulous.

Nangong Qiu looked at him calmly. "The county lord of Changning told me that men have always been honey-bellied, and the mountains and seas that they say are sweet words, and there is not a word to be believed, even you yourself have never believed it, but you still say it to deceive us. Now it seems that she was right; Even you do, let alone other men. ”

Shen Ruoyu was extremely remorseful, why didn't he use his brain just now, and used his fingers as bargaining chips without thinking. He said:

"Qiu'er, the county lord of Changning is only twelve years old, she has never been in contact with a few men at all, what does she know? It's just listening to the complaints of some palace maids and outsiders, and it's just parroting. You're eighteen years old, and you're married, you should have your own opinions, why should you listen to her? - You wait, I'll chop off my index finger for you now. ”

He stood up, walked to the table, turned on the light, raised his left hand, and placed his index finger on the edge of the table. Then, he untied the autumn wind, put it on the table, and drew his long sword at once.

Nangong Qiu panicked, and jumped up and hugged him: "Ruoxiao, I'm talking about playing, I don't want your fingers!" Don't do anything stupid! ”

Shen Ruoyu said resolutely: "No, Qiu'er, since you have opened your mouth, since I have promised you, I must do it." I can't let a finger break your trust and confidence in me. ”

He raised his sword, and Nangong Qiuwa cried loudly, grabbed his arm tightly, and shouted:

"Kill me, kill me, I'm a villain, I'm a bastard, I don't even believe you, I just listen to other people's words, doubt you, test you. Why are you so stupid? Why don't you want to think about what I want your fingers for? Do you want me to hold it every day, thinking that I have made such an unreasonable request to you, and done such a cruel thing, that I will regret it for the rest of my life? Don't do it, don't do this, you might as well cut my sword straight at me. I beg you, I beg you......"

Shen Ruoyu was silent for a long time, and finally put down the autumn wind and retracted it into the sheath. Nangong Qiu breathed a sigh of relief, and his body immediately collapsed. Shen Ruoyu hurriedly picked her up, returned to the bedside and sat down, and listened to her crying and crying:

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's all my fault, why should I doubt you, I'm not human......"

Shen Ruoliao was not sad in her heart. From the beginning to the end, he never had the slightest thought of cutting off his index finger. But since he made a promise without thinking, he could not tolerate himself becoming a person who did not believe in his words and had a different heart in front of his lover. Of course, he had learned his lesson, and in fact he should have learned enough lessons to remind himself that he must think twice before making a promise. It is a difficult and lengthy process for a person to build trust in oneself in the hearts of others; But if you want to destroy your reputation, it is a blink of an eye, and it only takes a small thing, an unintentional quick word, and it can be easily completed.

So, he deceived her, and in his memory, it seemed that this was really the first time he deceived her, completely out of helplessness, because he really loved her and could not tolerate himself hurting her, nor was he willing to lose her trust and lose her heart. He pretended to fulfill his promise, pretended to cut off his index finger, and pretended to be so realistic. He succeeded easily, she believed, he maintained his prestige in her heart, cemented her love and faith. However, the essence of this matter from beginning to end is only one sentence: he deceived her. To put it bluntly, he still couldn't bear his fingers, he kept saying that she was the second in his heart, second only to his career, and he could sacrifice everything else for her; However, he was reluctant to put his fingers on his fingers.

Shen Ruoliao only felt that his whole body was trembling with his heart, because of hatred and shame, because of guilt and fear. He hugged Nangong Qiu tightly in his arms, and he couldn't say a word for a long time, and he didn't dare to let go.

Then, slowly, he regained his self-control, kissed her tears, and said softly:

"My little moon, what do you want? I'm going to give you something you've been longing for for a long time. However, don't say you're going to lose weight. ”

Nangong Qiu sighed slightly: "You can't give what I want; I can only rely on myself, but I don't have the ability. ”

"What do you want?" Shen Ruoyu asked, "In this world, there is nothing that a woman wants that is not given by a man; You shouldn't think about relying on yourself, you have the right to ask me. ”

Nangong Qiu said sadly: "I want a child. If not, what can you do? I've been married to you for half a year, and I don't have any hint of pregnancy. I think I really can't have children. But I really want a baby, I want to have you a baby. ”

Shen Ruoyu was silent for a moment, staring at her without saying a word.

Then, he said softly, "Qiu'er, I'll give it to you now." ”