Chapter 35: The First

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"Donor, it's time for breakfast." The two little monks put two large plates of vegetarian food in front of the three of them, and one of the little monks said respectfully: "The three donors forgive the sins, our Shaolin Temple is Zen, only vegetarian, the meals are simpler, please don't care." ”

The little monk is really not modest, in addition to a large pot of gruel, there is only a plate of salted and pickled dried radish and a plate of bean sprouts boiled tofu on the two large plates. However, although the meal is simple, it is supreme delicious for the hungry Lu Da Fatzi, Xiao Erlang and Shang Wanyan. At that moment, the fat man Lu first served a bowl of rice porridge to Shang Wanyan, and then served a bowl but didn't give it to himself, and begged for a spoon to feed the seriously injured Xiao Erlang, so moved that Xiao Erlang was crying, "Young master, the little one is not hungry, you eat first...... Woo...... The small oneself can eat ....... ”

"Don't be wordy, you were injured in order to block the bullet for me, and you let me eat it myself, do you want your young master to be struck by lightning?" Lu Da Fat was also direct, and directly pointed out Xiao Erlang's sinister intentions.

After that, Lu Da Fat Man insisted on feeding the rice porridge into Xiao Erlang's mouth, Xiao Erlang ate it with tears in his eyes, and tears rolled down his face. Shang Wanzhen turned a blind eye to the rare moving scene created by Lu Da Fat, just gulped down the porridge and ate vegetables, after a bowl of rice porridge was eaten, Shang Wanyan put down the chopsticks, snatched the porridge bowl and spoon from Lu Da Fatty's hand, and also fed Xiao Erlang with porridge, and said coldly to Lu Da Fatty: "You eat quickly, the sound of the stomach growling is so noisy that I can't even close my eyes." ”

"Little girl, she still refuses to forgive." The fat man smiled and quickly picked up the dishes and chopsticks and ate them quickly. Sanhai bowl of rice porridge belly, when the stomach was hungry and a little comforted, the door of the incense room was pushed open again, and a little monk came in, saying that the abbot Zhitong master had been invited, and Lu Da Fat Man ate people with soft mouths, and hurriedly explained to Shang Wanzhen and Xiao Erlang to let them rest in the room, and he quickly put down the rice bowl and followed the little monk to the abbot's meditation room to meet.

The abbot Zen room of Putian Shaolin Temple is located in the back garden, when crossing the back garden road, Lu Da Fat Man saw that there were many people wearing common people's clothes outside the back garden gate practicing martial arts, and he couldn't help but feel a little strange in his heart, and casually asked the little monk who led the way: "Little master, are those people outside all lay disciples of your temple?" ”

"Yes, they are all our lay disciples, there are more than 200 people, more than the monks in the temple." The little monk replied honestly.

"In that case, why didn't they show up last night?" The big fat man Lu asked curiously, "Even if the lay disciples don't live in the temple and there was such a big commotion last night, they should come to see the situation, right?" ”

Hearing Lu Da Fat's words, the little monk's face turned pale, showing a panicked expression, Lu Da Fat Man observed his words, and thanked Nan Shaolin for saving his life, and hurriedly said: "Little master, they must be living in other mountains, and they only come to Shaolin Temple at dawn in the morning, so they didn't have time to come over last night, right?" ”

"Yes, yes, the donor is right, that's it." The little monk breathed a sigh of relief, hurriedly quickened his pace and led the big fat man Lu to the door of a monk's room, opened the door and greeted: "Donor, please come in, my abbot is waiting in the room." ”

Lu Da Fat walked into the door and saw two old monks and a middle-aged scribe sitting in the room, one of the two old monks was Zhiheng who treated Xiao Erlang's injuries last night, and the other was a little older, presumably Elder Zhitong, the abbot of Shaolin Temple in Putian. And the middle-aged scribe was in his thirties, dressed as a Confucian in a green robe and robe, with upright facial features and a kind expression, which made people feel close. Lu Da Fat didn't dare to slack off, so he knelt down on his knees in front of the abbot of Zhitong who was sitting in the center, kowtowed and said: "Lu Yifeng, who was born late, thank the abbot for saving his life." ”

"Lord Lu Shi doesn't have to be polite, please get up." The abbot of Zhitong was also very kind, and personally got up to pick up the big fat man Lu, and asked the fat man to move a chair to the big fat man, and then asked: "Dare to ask where the master Lu Shi is at home and what kind of livelihood he does?" From whence, to where? Last night, why did those Guangdong officers and soldiers chase you down? ”

"This ......." Lu Da Fat Man was a little hesitant, and he didn't know whether he should tell the truth to the abbot of Southern Shaolin - unlike the honest Northern Shaolin, Southern Shaolin is a well-known anti-Qing restoration base in history, and the various anti-Qing and Ming restoration forces in the south are inextricably linked, which has been mentioned in later movies and television, and Lu Da Fat is the lackey of the super Han Annihilation of Wu Sangui's Western election official, and Shang Wanzhen is the biological daughter of another super Han Annihilation Shang Kexi, in the case of not knowing the specific situation, Of course, Lu Da Fat didn't dare to honestly explain these sensitive identities casually.

"Mr. Lu, listening to your accent, it should be from the central Yunnan area (central Yunnan), right?" Seeing that the fat man hesitated, the middle-aged scribe suddenly smiled and asked, speaking with an authentic Fujian accent.

"This gentleman is smart, and he is indeed from Dali, Yunnan." Fat Lu hesitated again, and decided that it was better not to explain it completely, and said vaguely: "I am a Dali merchant, selling jade to Guangzhou, and selling tea from Guangzhou to the capital to sell. Yesterday evening arrived at the junction of Putian and Quanzhou, the gang of strongmen suddenly killed, robbed and killed, and tried to snatch the newlywed wife of the next, killed many servants below, and escaped from the scene with his wife and servant Xiao Erlang, the gangsters chased closely, and in the darkness we did not distinguish between the east and the west, the north and the south, so we fled to the Shaolin Temple in a daze, and then the masters came to the rescue. ”

"It's as simple as that?" The two old monks present and the middle-aged scribe were not stupid, and they immediately heard that the fat man Lu was not completely telling the truth. At that moment, Elder Zhiheng said quite unhappily: "Master Lu, in order to save your husband and wife and servants in our Shaolin Temple, we directly clashed with the officers and soldiers of Guangdong, and you are still talking so secretively, isn't it a bit too much?" ”

"Lord Lu, Lao Wei and the others are not asking about your situation, not to covet anything from the donor." The abbot of Zhitong also said: "It's just that the conflict between our Shaolin Temple and the officers and soldiers of Guangdong is not trivial, if we don't figure out the ins and outs of the matter, we are only afraid of endless trouble in the future, so please also ask the donor to speak bluntly, don't hide it." ”

"It's ......." Lu Da Fat Man hesitated even more, and after thinking for a while, Lu Da Fat Man arched his hand and said: "Two masters, please forgive me, there is indeed something to hide below, and it is really inconvenient to tell the truth." But please rest assured that as long as the three of them go to Fuzhou, or go to the Putian government and get in touch with the local government, then the conflict between the Shaolin Temple and the officers and soldiers of Guangdong will not only not cause any trouble, but on the contrary, they will definitely be rewarded by the imperial court and the local government. ”

The two old monks and the middle-aged scribe glanced at each other and exchanged glances, and then the middle-aged scribe coughed and said, "So, Mr. Lu should be a member of the public family?" Since Mr. Lu is a member of the public family, and he is doing fair and righteous things, why not tell the truth and live up to the Shaolin Temple for Mr. ”

The middle-aged scribe moved out of the Shaolin Temple for his life-saving grace, and Lu Da Fat suddenly felt that he was a little uninteresting, and he was sorry for the Shaolin monks who worked hard to save him. But it's still the same sentence, because the identity of Lu Da Fatzi's Western Election Officer and Shang Wanyan's identity as the county lord of Nanwangfu are too sensitive, before finding out whether Nan Shaolin is the base camp of the anti-Qing Dynasty and the restoration of the Ming Dynasty recorded by later generations, Lu Da Fatzi really does not dare to take the liberty of telling the truth - in case Nan Shaolin is really the base camp of the anti-Qing Dynasty and the restoration of the Ming Dynasty, and there are still some radicals among them, then no one dares to guarantee whether the Lu Da Fat Man and Shang Wanhuan can leave the South Shaolin Temple alive.

"Report to the abbot." When the fat man was hesitating, a young monk came in outside the door, clasped his hands and said: "Abbot, outside the temple gate, there is a person who claims to be Fu Honglie, the prefect of Chaozhou, Guangdong, and escorts General Yang Guotai Yang, who entered the temple last night to make trouble, saying that he came to apologize, and he wants to apologize to the abbot and the monks of the temple in person last night. ”

"Master Fu Honglie?" The abbot of Zhitong raised his eyebrows, and said with some joy: "This Master Fu is a well-known Qing official in Guangdong, who loves the people like a son and is not afraid of power, and has done countless good things for the people. Now that he has come to visit in person, the old man should personally go to the temple gate to greet him. ”

"Master Zhitong, you can't go to see this Fu Honglie." Lu Da Fat Man panicked, and hurriedly said: "We were chased and killed by Guangdong officers and soldiers, and the mastermind behind the scenes is likely to be this Fu Honglie, who is actually an out-and-out hypocrite." ”

"Amitabha, Lord Lu Shi, Master Fu is an honest official, famous, and everyone knows, why did Lord Lu Shi slander him?" Abbot Zhitong asked displeased.

"Master Abbot, that Fu Honglie is really a hypocrite, a true man!" Lu Da Fat Man was so anxious that he was sweating profusely, and said anxiously: "I don't know if he is a good official or not, I only know that he is the house slave of Kong Youde, the king of Dingnan, a real hardcore Han Jian, insidious and cunning, Master Abbot, if you are deceived by his hypocrisy, you will definitely suffer a big loss." ”

"Oh, since Lord Lu Shi commented on Master Fu like this, can Lord Lu Shi come up with real evidence to make Lao Wei believe it?" Abbot Zhitong asked with a smile.

Lu Da Fat was speechless, Lu Da Fatty's hypocritical judgment of Fu Honglie was all based on the analysis of clues, and there was no real evidence, so naturally it could not be proved. The abbot of Zhitong over there smiled slightly, stood up and said, "Okay, since Lord Lu Shi has a bad impression of Master Fu, then please wait here for a while, and the old man will come when he goes." Senior Brother Zhiheng, Mr. Chen, are you interested in going out with Lao Wei to meet Master Fu? ”

"The little monk is very happy." Master Zhiheng clasped his palms together and also stood up. The middle-aged scribe over there also stood up and said with a smile: "I have long admired the name of Fu Honglie and Fu Qingtian, it is better to meet than to be famous, of course I want to meet him." ”

"Okay, let's all go together." Abbot Zhitong nodded, and said to Lu Da Fat: "Lu Shizhu sits for a while, Lao Wei will come when he goes, and when he comes back, I hope that Lu Shizhu will tell the truth about being chased and killed by officers and soldiers last night, although Shaolin Temple is turned into a Buddhist gate, but he does not want to violate the king's law." ”

"Shit! said that Northern Shaolin did not dare to violate the royal law, I believe that if you Southern Shaolin were all honest monks who were willing to be enslaved by the Tartars, there would not be so many Manchu Tartars burning Southern Shaolin's movies and television in the future! The fat man muttered in his heart. And the three abbots of Zhitong no longer paid attention to Lu Da Fat and went out together.

After fidgeting in the meditation room for a while, the more Lu Da Fat Man pondered, the more he felt that something was wrong, and the more he calculated, the more he felt that the situation was not good, and he couldn't help but stand up, planning to go out to see the situation, but he didn't think that as soon as he arrived at the door, two muscular monks immediately flashed out next to the door, and said together: "Lord Lu, the abbot's decree, please wait here for a while, the abbot will go back when he goes, and there are important things to discuss with the donor." ”

"Oops! Abbot Zhitong really became suspicious of me, and if he knew it, he shouldn't have scrupled so much about telling the truth. The fat man Lu complained bitterly in his heart, and hurriedly said: "Two masters, I just went to see the situation of my wife and servants, and I will come back immediately." ”

"Donors can rest assured that they are all doing well." A monk said, "Please wait a little longer, our abbot will be back soon." ”

"Then can you go and invite Master Zhiheng here, I have something to tell him." Lu Da Fat made up his mind and was ready to tell all the truth to Master Zhiheng, who treated Xiao Erlang's injuries last night - with Master Zhiheng's kind attitude of saving people, I believe that even if he knew these truths, things would take a turn for the better.

"This one does." The two monks nodded together, and one of the monks turned around and shouted, "Come on, go and report to Uncle Zhiheng." ”

"Yes." A monk flashed out from behind the corridor, and he agreed to leave. Seeing this scene, Lu Da Fat Man couldn't help but be startled again, and then he realized that Abbot Zhitong was already very wary of him, and even sent several groups of people to stare at him.

Fidgeting in the room for a long time, there was finally a sound of footsteps outside the courtyard, but the footsteps were very dense, it seemed that there were quite a lot of people, Lu Da Fat quickly rushed to the door to take a look, and sure enough, he saw a large group of people entering this backyard, there are monks and laymen, there are men and women, but the monks and lay disciples of Shaolin Temple are still the majority, among which Zhitong and Zhiheng are the two brothers and the middle-aged scribe before, of course, including them, and the person standing next to them is none other than Fu Honglie, the prefect of Chaozhou, and Yang Guotai, the general.

"My lord, Fat Lu is really here!" Seeing Lu Da Fat Man appear in the door, Yang Guotai immediately jumped three feet high, his face full of joy.

"Bold dog thief Lu Yifeng, that's really here!" Fu Honglie also roared, Jun's face was full of serious looks, and he shouted angrily with righteous words: "You dog thief, you dare to covet the beauty of Xiao Gege of Pingnan Wangfu, try to rob her and humiliate her, and poison and kill countless innocent Guangdong soldiers, do you know the guilt?" ”

"I humiliated Shang Wanyan, and poisoned countless innocent Guangdong soldiers in the sea?" Although Lu Da Fat Man is extremely talented in scheming and intrigue, he is still a little tender, and he was beaten by Fu Honglie, who is old in the officialdom, and he was immediately a little flustered!

"Master Abbot, this is this dog thief!" Seeing that the fat man Lu was shocked by his own backbeating, Fu Honglie was secretly happy in his heart, and hurriedly turned to the abbot of Zhitong and said, "Master Abbot, thank you for helping the lower official get this dog thief!" This dog thief is the Western Election Official Lu Yifeng that the lower official told you before, and Wu Sangui, the prince of Pingxi, didn't know where he looked away, and actually appointed such a wolf-hearted silver thief as the official of the imperial court! After the lower officials get this thief, they must go to the court and impeach Wu Sangui, the king of Pingxi, for the crime of unknown employment! ”

"It turned out to be a Western Election Officer! Wu Sangui's lackey! "How bad Wu Sangui's reputation is, I believe there is no need to be wordy, so after Fu Honglie broke Lu Da Fatty's identity as a Western Election Official, the audience immediately resounded with exclamations and angry cheers, and many people directly glared at Lu Da Fat - if it weren't for the presence of Fu Honglie, a Qing Dynasty official, these people would definitely pounce on us immediately and tear our poor Han annihilation lackey Lu Da Fat to pieces!

"You talk nonsense!" The big fat man finally came back to his senses, and he was furious and ready to refute, but at this time, he ............

"This dead fat man is indeed the Western Election Officer, I can testify to it!" A woman screamed. Immediately afterwards, Lu Da Fatty's old acquaintance Fang De, Miao Cuihua and Fang Shiyu's family of three squeezed into the circle, Miao Cuihua pointed at Lu Da Fatty, and shouted with her eyebrows upside down: "Master Abbot, the little girl can testify, the little girl's family once heard the dog thief's dog leg in Guangzhou say that he is the official of the Western Election, or what Qujing Zhi County!" I didn't think this dog thief was here! ”

Thanks to Wu Sangui's blessing, whether the Western Election Officials in this year are clean officials or dirty officials, their reputation is generally stinky, and now the Fang De family, who have a deep relationship with the South Shaolin Temple, came forward to testify, and there was an angry roar when the scene was neutral, "Dog official, what a bold man, dare to come to our South Shaolin to defile the Buddha Gate?" "Kill him! Kill this dog officer! "Kill him, kill this lackey of Wu Sangui's dog Han Jian!"

"Everyone, everyone, it's true that I'm the official of the Western Election, but I haven't done anything evil." Lu Da Fat Man was anxious, and hurriedly waved his hands to explain, but under the excitement of the crowd, Lu Da Fatman's slight voice was naturally drowned in the vast sea of the people's war all of a sudden.

"You didn't do anything evil? Then why do you want to annihilate the little Gege of the prince of Pingnan?! Yang Guotai, who was instructed by Fu Honglie, also jumped out, and pulled out a man from his side, shouting: "Liang Shang, you tell the masters, what evil did this fat man Lu do?" ”

"Masters, disciples of Buddhism, my name is Liang Shang, and I am the guard of the Pingnan Palace." Liang Shang, who was placed by Shang Zhixiao's side of Shang Wanyan, took out the waist card of Pingnan Palace, first showed everyone to prove his identity, and then pointed at Lu Fatzi and shouted wildly: "I testify, I saw with my own eyes that this Fat Lu took advantage of the opportunity to accompany Xiao Gege of Pingnan Wangfu to Beijing, brutally annihilated Xiao Gege, who was less than sixteen years old, and threatened Xiao Gege not to publicize!" At the same time, in order to possess Xiao Gege for a long time, and in order to covet the gold, silver and jewelry that the prince of Pingnan paid tribute to the imperial court, this dog thief colluded with Li Tianzhi, a rebel general of the Pingnan Palace, and killed more than 200 innocent Guangdong soldiers by poisoning! Now the corpses of those soldiers are still in the corpse wilderness in the Fengting area on the border between Putian and Quanzhou! If you don't believe it, go and see for yourself! ”

"Brute! What a real brute! ”

"Kill him! Kill this dog thief! ”

"Kill him! Kill this silver thief! ”

Although there are many loopholes and contradictions in Fu Honglie, Yang Guotai and Liang Shang's words, it is still that sentence, the reputation of Wu Sangui and the Western Election Official is too stinky, and Fu Honglie, who is good at concealment, has an excellent reputation. So after Liang Shang finished talking about Lu Fatzi's fabricated charges, the Shaolin monks and lay disciples in the courtyard were completely furious, scrambling to scold, and many people even rolled up their sleeves and clenched their fists, ready to cut Lu Fatzi, a Han annihilation lackey and silver thief, with a thousand knives!

"Hehe, it seems that I not only have to learn from the teacher, but also learn more from opponents like Fu Honglie." In the face of the excited and murderous Shaolin monks, our Fat Man Lu not only did not continue to panic, but calmed down unexpectedly, and muttered in his heart: "Sometimes, the situation that seems to be lost may not necessarily be lost, as long as I am like Fu Honglie, I am good at taking advantage of various favorable conditions and the psychology of everyone, and I can still redeem the defeat and turn defeat into victory!" In this case, I must be calm, I must be calm, only by being calm, can I have the opportunity and the way to turn the situation around! ”

"Dog thief Lu Yifeng, you have done a lot of evil, your retribution has arrived today!" Yang Guotai, who had received Fu Honglie's guidance and hints again, jumped out and angrily grabbed the waist knife of the guards next to him - just now he was guilty of his own guilt, so he didn't have a weapon on his body, and shouted frantically: "Lao Tzu is fighting for this general today, and he wants to avenge those Guangdong brothers who were killed by you, and take his life!" ”

Roaring, Yang Guotai and his body pounced, ready to kill Lu Fatzi and kill him, not giving Fat Lu the slightest chance to turn the tables............

"Haha! Hahahaha! Facing Yang Guotai swinging his knife and approaching, Fat Lu did not dodge or dodge - it was useless to dodge, but raised his back to the sky and laughed. Sure enough, Lu Da Fat's confident appearance really made the few calm people present suspicious.

"General Yang, please wait!" The middle-aged scribe before grabbed Yang Guotai's arm and said with a smile: "General, move slowly, Master Abbot can't just listen to your side of the story, besides, Xiao Gege of Pingnan Wangfu is also in the temple, so I still invite her to come and confront her face to face." ”

"It's useless to confront you! Xiao Gege has been defiled by him, a little girl under the age of sixteen, will she admit such a thing to her face? Yang Guotai yelled and tried to break free from the middle-aged scribe's hand, but found that the scribe's seemingly weak right hand was like an iron tong, struggling to break free.

"Master Abbot, who is this gentleman ......?" Fu Honglie frowned and asked Abbot Zhitong.

"He is my new master, his name is Chen Jinnan!" Fang Shiyu next to him stood up and said to the middle-aged scribe Chen Jinnan with a smirk: "Master, my mother just said, this fat man Lu is a big villain, I'll go and take him down, by the way, please see how my kung fu is?" ”

"This little man, this Lu Yifeng is the number one dog thief in the world, everyone will be punished!" Yang Guotai, who couldn't break Chen Jinnan's wrist, took the opportunity to shout: "You don't need to take it, just hack him to death with a knife!" ”

"Hehe, hehehehe......!" At this time, the fat man suddenly laughed again, and suddenly asked loudly: "Xiaguan dares to ask the abbot master, the people brought by Fu Honglie are all here now, right?" Are there any hidden outside the temple? ”

"The donor asks what is this?" Abbot Zhitong was taken aback, and hurriedly raised his hand to stop the monks from shouting.

"Zhen Gaogang, a group of streams and mountains through the ages." Lu Da Fat said lightly: "The door faces the sea, and the three rivers flow together for ten thousand years." ”

"What did you say?" Fu Honglie, Yang Guotai and others were confused, and said that the big fat man Lu was already frightened.

Most of the Shaolin monks present widened their eyes and looked at Lu Da Fat Man in disbelief. And Abbot Zhitong, Chen Jinnan and the others changed their faces greatly, and they were so nervous that they even stopped breathing. After calming down a little, Chen Jinnan asked in a deep voice, "How much do you know?" ”

"Worship the sky as the father, worship the earth as the mother, say as the brother, the moon as the sister, and worship the five ancestors and the ancestor Wan Yunlong as the whole god of the Hong family." Lu Da Fat made a fluent incision and asked rhetorically: "The one who burned the six pillars of incense, the people brought by the dog man and Fu Honglie, are you sure that you will take them all?" ”

Chen Jinnan tried to calm down his emotions, exchanged a look with the abbot of Zhitong next to him, and the right hand that grabbed Yang Guotai's wrist suddenly flipped his hand, Yang Guotai only felt a huge force hit him, and immediately bent down involuntarily, and the steel knife in his hand also fell to the ground. Over there, Master Zhiheng also backhanded Fu Honglie's right hand, kicked him in the crook of his knee, kicked him to his knees, and held him down.

"Heavenly Father and Mother Earth, oppose the Qing Dynasty and restore sight!" Lu Da Fat shouted: "Let's do it together, take down all the lackeys brought by the dog man Fu Honglie!" ”

"Do as he says, take it all!" Chen Jinnan subconsciously drank and added--The secrets of the Heaven and Earth Society, which had just been established the night before yesterday, had already been heard by Fu Honglie and others, and unless Chen Jinnan was stupid, of course he would not let these people go.

"What? What do you do? In the midst of the screams, the Southern Shaolin monks and lay disciples in the courtyard moved together, and pounced on Fu Honglie and his party who were caught off guard like wolves. In an instant, the courtyard was full of fists and feet and the sound of ** collision, and there were scenes of Southern Shaolin monks capturing Fu Honglie's subordinates everywhere.

"Huh." In the sneer, Fat Lu strode forward, walked to Fu Honglie, who was personally held down by Master Zhiheng, raised his fat fist, and punched Fu Honglie's nose hard, causing Fu Honglie's face to bloom, tears, snot and nosebleeds flowing together.

"Dog man! You probably never dreamed of it! Lu Da Fat Man pointed at the panicked Fu Honglie, and shouted in a tone that was a hundred times more righteous than Fu Honglie's righteous words: "To tell you the truth, Lao Tzu is actually also a righteous man who opposes the Qing Dynasty and restores the Ming Dynasty!" The forbearance just now is just waiting for an opportunity to wipe you and your lackeys away! Dog Hanji, your time of death has arrived! ”

Roaring, Lu Da Fat Man flew up a fat leg again, and hit the soft meat under Fu Honglie's crotch with a heavy yin foot, Fu Honglie, the accomplice of the Mites Qing who brutally suppressed the rebellion of the three feudatories in history, and the executioner of the Han Dynasty who killed countless anti-Qing soldiers of the Chinese nation, screamed like a pig, foaming at the mouth and fainting on the spot! It is extremely glorious to become the number one annihilator of the Qing Dynasty, and the great annihilation giant who has plagued countless loyal and good generals of the Qing Dynasty and countless loyal ministers and good generals of the Qing Dynasty - Lu Da Fat Man! The first scourge object!