Confucianism attaches great importance to marriage, and in Confucius's view, the marriage of a man and a woman is a good marriage between two surnames, a union made in heaven, and the foundation of social harmony. Marriage is also the beginning of being an ethical person. Before marriage, boys were called handsome guys, and girls were called beautiful women; When getting married, the boy is called the groom, and the girl is called the bride, which means that from today onwards, you will be a good boy and a good girl again. The bride and groom have many responsibilities, such as responsibility, ethics, morality, and so on.

In Confucius's Family Sayings, a husband can divorce his wife in one of the following seven situations. Of course, in that era of male superiority and inferiority, a wife could not divorce her husband. (1) disobedience to parents; (2) have no children; (3) ** Failure to abide by women's morals; (4) jealousy; (5) have a disability; (6) gibberish to sow discord; (7) Stealing property. These seven points, sorted out, are probably three aspects: (1) a woman's character is problematic; (2) There is something wrong with the woman's body; (3) A woman cannot have children, or fails to have sons. Of course, as future generations, we should look at this statement from the perspective of understanding, and we do not need to evaluate its good or bad, after all, the times are different. In fact, what Confucius mentioned is not far from our current life, for example, the divorce of husband and wife is due to fertility problems, because of the style of men and women, and because the husband and wife cannot reach an agreement on life.

According to Confucius's Family Sayings, Confucius said that there are three situations in which a husband cannot abandon his wife: (1) A man wants to abandon his wife, and his wife is unwilling to leave, although some people are willing to marry her, but after the divorce, the woman has nowhere to return and is unwilling to marry immediately. As the saying goes, a husband and wife are blessed for a hundred days, and in this case, the husband cannot abandon his wife. (2) A wife who has been mourning with her husband for three years cannot be abandoned. Confucius valued filial piety and emphasized the first choice of filial piety, how could a daughter-in-law who had such in-laws in her heart abandon it? (3) When the husband is poor, he marries a wife, and when he is rich, he cannot divorce his wife. This is very understandable, and it is also the same truth until now, when a man has no money, a woman is willing to entrust her life to him; When a man is rich, he should take more care of his wife.

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When Confucius was twenty years old, he had a son of his own. At that time, Confucius served as a petty official in charge of the warehouse, but he was more appreciated by Lu Zhaogong. Lu Zhaogong sent someone to send a big carp to congratulate him. Confucius was honored to be personally gifted by the monarch, so he named his son Kong Li, the word Boyu. When Confucius was thirty years old, he laid a solid foundation in the fields of learning, life, and politics, and gained a foothold in society, so he said: Stand at thirty. "Standing at 30" is not starting a family at the age of 30, it can be understood as having a relatively clear knowledge and understanding of the society and oneself, and forming an independent personality. For example, if we lose all the people we can rely on and still be able to live well in this society, this is what "Thirty and Standing" is trying to say.

2. Walkers have no borders

When Confucius was thirty-five years old, there was a civil strife in the state of Lu, when the monarch of the state of Lu, Lu Zhaogong, was defeated and fled to the state of Qi, and Confucius also ran to the state of Qi with his disciples. The monarch of Qi at that time was Qi Jinggong. Confucius, as a retainer of Gao Zhaozi, the prime minister of Qi State, once talked with Qi Jinggong about the way to govern the country, and Confucius said eight words: "Monarchs and ministers, fathers, sons, sons." This means that the king will walk in the way of kings, and the courtiers will walk in the way of ministers, and the father will walk in the way of the father, and the children will walk in the way of the son. In the current language, it means that to be an emperor should be an emperor, to be a courtier should be a courtier, to be a father should be a father, and to be a son should be a son.

Qi Jinggong had a strong and heroic heart to govern the country, and naturally praised Confucius's statement. Later, he often had long talks with Confucius, hoping to get more ways to govern the country from Confucius. Confucius was a guest in the state of Qi and had no official position, so Qi Jinggong wanted to give him a fief. Once, Qi Jinggong inadvertently told Yan Ying his thoughts, but was strongly opposed by Yan Ying. Yan Ying assisted Qi Jinggong's father, Qi Linggong, and Qi Jinggong's elder brother Qi Zhuanggong, and when he came to him, he was already a veteran of the Three Dynasties. Yan Ying was a far-sighted man and a diplomatist who was first-class at the time. He was simple, quick-witted and outspoken. If Yan Ying doesn't want to do something, Qi Jinggong must listen to his opinions.

Yan Ying is Yan Zi, and we will not be strangers to him, because there is a text in the primary school textbook called "Yan Zi Makes Chu". Yan Zi is short in stature, but he is full of essence all over his body. As the patriarch of the Three Dynasties of Qi, Yan Zi's way of governing the country, the art of persuasion, and his personal cultivation are all worthy of learning from future generations. In the way of governing the country, Yan Zi also promoted benevolent government and called on the monarch to love the people. He is diligent, honest in politics, innocent, coarse tea and light food, and coarse clothes and cloth. This is by no means Yan Zi's pretense, he is down-to-earth, and he has been like this all his life, which shows the high level of Yan Zi's realm.

Needless to say, Yan Zi's art of persuasion is needless to say, whether it is a strong admonition, a tactful meandering admonition, or a seductive admonition, he has mastered it extremely well, highlighting his outstanding political wisdom. His language is characteristic, sometimes sharp, sometimes subtle and deep, sometimes solemn and serious, sometimes humorous and funny. He can use the most appropriate way of speaking in different situations to achieve the best results. The monarchs all understand that Yan Zi is for the good of the country, and everyone understands that long live, whatever he says is what it is! Save his strength, let him bully other monarchs, and don't let his old man get angry anymore. The monarch understood that Yan Zi's hard work was high, so he naturally respected him very much.

Once Qi Jinggong went to Yan Zi's house as a guest, and saw an old and ugly woman busy working there, and when he inquired, he found out that this was Yan Zi's wife. Qi Jinggong said: I didn't expect your wife to be old and ugly, I have a daughter, young and beautiful, let her marry you! Qi Jinggong can say such a thing, which shows how good their relationship is. After hearing this, Yan Zi's expression did not change, but said: My wife is old and ugly, but we have lived for most of our lives and are used to it; She was also very beautiful when she was young, and if I can accept her young and beautiful, I can naturally accept her old pearl yellow. Let's think about it, 2,500 years ago, men were inferior to women, and men could have wives and concubines, not to mention that Yan Zi was a high-ranking official at the level of a doctor, which was the style of a pillar of a country!

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Yan Zi denied Confucius in four aspects, and also denied Confucianism, he didn't want Qi Jinggong to give Confucius a fief, said: Confucian scholars are good at distinguishing right from wrong with words, and it is difficult for the law to restrain them, they are the destroyers of the law, and they will spread and have endless troubles; Confucian scholars are arrogant and capricious, and it is difficult for the monarch to control them, and it is difficult for them to become loyal subjects of the monarch; The Confucian etiquette system consumes huge manpower and material resources, and is extremely cumbersome, making it difficult to apply in reality. Confucian scholars lobbied for official positions and lacked loyalty to the state. Yan Zi's few words progressed layer by layer, basically sealing Confucius.

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