。 In fact, no matter how hot the tea is, it can't match Su Xue's heartache, those words are indeed good for her. But it should never come out of this man's mouth, and when it comes out of his mouth, it is like a sharp blade. The stab on her already weak heart was the pain she couldn't bear" Su Xue pulled her hand angrily and held it silently. She couldn't move, and said bitterly: "You want me to marry." Don't be here to be confused, don't touch me! She struggled hard, but she couldn't grasp it with one hand, so she had to stretch out her other hand and wrap her around at once. Su Xue seemed to have been immobilized, and she couldn't move all of a sudden, she let Shen Mo hold her, and muttered, "Why do you say that kind of thing, do you want to say that kind of thing?" Tears finally flowed silently. Fell on the shoulders of silence.

Shen sighed silently and whispered in her ear, "You know, I'm not that mind. Su Xue didn't speak, Famo sighed again, gently helped her up, looked at her pear blossom with rain face, and said softly: "I really just feel sorry for you, I don't want to see you suffer like this anymore." As he spoke, he slowly took out his handkerchief and gently wiped her tears and said, "I don't want to push you out, in fact, I have already said that as long as you want, you can do anything" After a pause, he said: "But." Why do you hide your heart so deeply, so that I can't see clearly, I can't guess, I don't know what you think, what you want, how to be happy? This is also what Shen Mo has always wanted to ask her. Woman, why are you so hard to understand.

Listening to the silent soft voice, Su Xue's stiff body finally softened, but she cried more and more recklessly.

Seeing that she still couldn't speak, Shen Moran sighed and said slowly: "I also said that although I can't give you Ming Media is marrying, I can always take care of you for a lifetime" You don't have to worry about my family, Ruohan I will go and say, within three days, I will carry a sedan chair to pick you up. Of course, he will not forget his promise to Ruohan, and he doesn't want to break his promise at all. I'm afraid I won't be able to hold my head up for the rest of my life.

But when a man makes a mistake, he must be held responsible. When he met Su Xue, Shen Mo went out of Suzhou with the honor of six yuan, and foiled the conspiracy of the nine families with his backhand, and managed Suzhou City into a monolith, all of which were only his horse heads. At that time, he had not experienced the trough of the past few years, and his life was proud, and the whole person was a little fluttering, thinking that he relied on his mental ability. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to control everything, wake up and take control of the world from now on, get drunk and lie on the knees of beautiful women, and do whatever you want? It was in this somewhat complacent state that he met Su Xue, the legendary famous prostitute in Jiangnan. Meeting is more famous, her beauty and charm are irresistible to men. What's even better is that she seems to be playing an emotional game with him in the posture of inviting you to disperse.

At that time, he was silent, he was no longer a Lu man who didn't know the taste of meat, he was used to all kinds of banquets of wealthy businessmen and nobles, and played with many happy women, he believed that he could "live among a hundred flowers." The leaves do not stick to the body. , so I didn't hesitate to start a rivalry with her. The reason for this. In addition to catching Lu Ji, it is more about seeking excitement.

Later, Lu Ji was caught, but the game was not over" Su Xue still treated him like a part. still maintain the previous posture, it seems that there is a meaning of continuing to play; At that time in the silent heart. Gradually, it changed, but he didn't notice it, and he still enjoyed it. At that time, he didn't know that once the emotional game started, it was not something that could be stopped if he wanted to."

Gradually, whether it is said that it is a long-term love, or that it is said that he can't help it, he has such a woman in his heart. It was from then on that the silent heart began to be entangled, and he found that he couldn't be ruthless with this woman, and his courage in officialdom. In her place, he became powerless, he couldn't refuse Su Xue's request, and even thought about her often. Only then did I know that under the brocade of flowers, there are also dangerous traps, and sooner or later, after meeting someone, they will fall into it. I can't extricate myself, and I'm covered in it.

But he can't forget his promise to "never marry a woman again, he doesn't intend to live up to his wife, and he doesn't keep his word, so he wants to take the opportunity of leaving Suzhou to break off this relationship, but Su Xue chose to come to Beijing with him."

was actually unhappy about Su Xue's choice, because Su Xue told him that she followed him to Beijing for the sake of her brother's future, not because she had any feelings for him.

Shen Mo believed it at the time, he felt that he was being used and was angry, "Actually, think about it in hindsight." This kind of anger is more about using the topic to play, so that you can strengthen your confidence, not cross the minefield, and do not have to break your promises. So he began to distance himself from her. It wasn't until he helped Su Zhijian successfully pass the examination that he felt worthy of Su Xue, so he proposed again to send her back to Jiangnan and arrange her future life.

But Su Xue did not accept his arrangement, but stayed in Beijing City, but did not pester him, but became a musician in the palace, had a stable life, and had a strong backer, it seems that as she said, people don't have to be in pairs, and they can live well by themselves.

It seems that the two have finally retreated to the position of good friends and can live a life without incident. Although many times he thought of her, his silent heart would throb, but he knew that it was for him. In fact, it is the best state, so you don't have to break your promise, bring family uneasiness, and you don't have to feel guilty about this confidant, it's really a daughter-in-law and a New Year, and the good things let him take it all. 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

Now Shen Mo no longer participates in the glamorous banquets, and no longer shows his charm everywhere. Provoke some other woman. Just like Xu Wei said, he "washed all the lead and showed a plain posture", completely bidding farewell to the Chinese clothes and delicacies he once loved. Wearing cloth clothes, eating vegetarian vegetables, and even growing vegetables and flowers by himself, he lived an ascetic-like life. It is also this kind of life of washing the heart, abstinence, self-sufficiency, and self-cultivation that allowed him to regain the peace of his family. can deal with the open and secret battles in the officialdom without any worries.

But how could he not know that while he was comfortable, it was likely that several women were uncomfortable. Under the appearance of his pure heart and lust, he is only self-deceiving and not thinking about Ruohan's mood; Su Xue's mood; Even Rou Niang's mood, anyway, she only plays herself and doesn't make trouble, so she can live comfortably as someone else.

Of course, he has a reason to cover himself, the yamen is too busy, and there are too many socials in the officialdom. The pressure of the court bureau is too great, and so on, although he can get the forgiveness of the woman who loves him, it can't hide his selfishness.

"Actually, the person I love the most is not anyone. It's myself. Silence daily three provinces. This has long been realized.

But today. After seeing Su Xue's current situation with his own eyes. He just woke up from the state of self-deception, the beauty he imagined could only set off the cruelty of reality, Su Xue was not as strong as she showed, and life was not as peaceful as she described.

Yes, as a well-known musician, Su Xue has too many admirers, and she was originally discouraged by her cold attitude. But King Yu has become the de facto East Palace, and she is a close friend of Li Niangniang, and her status has risen with the tide. Let many restless guys. I started to dig out my mind, and I wanted to kill two birds with one stone.

There are too few women in this era. Including the power to refuse, Su Xue is a weak woman, and when everyone thinks she should get married, she can't support it for long. But Shen Mo knows that she is such a stubborn woman and never changes her opinions, "Such a person is most likely to feel the cruelty of reality, and suffers painfully in reality and persistence."

I saw her liver and intestines broken. Shen Mo finally woke up, from the day he planned to start this emotional game, he was already destined to not be able to give the other party a future love, no matter how beautiful, romantic, and touching the process was, there was only one ending, and that was a tragic ending. No exceptions.

If time could be turned back, he would never play such a game. But there is no regret medicine in the world, what you do is what you do, and what you do is what you are wrong. The consequences are already in front of him, if he is selfish enough to let the woman bear everything, but he pretends that nothing happened, then he is not an early person at all.

No, it should be said. It's not human at all, people can't be so selfish.

"I should bear the consequences of my own infliction. Shen Mo finally overcame his obscene selfishness, and he finally understood that it was his own promise to Ruohan, how to face her, how to repent, how to apologize, it was all his own business, but it had nothing to do with Su Xue; She can't be punished for the rest of her life because of his mistakes.

This is actually not the first time Shen Mo has said that I can marry you, but as smart as Su Xue, how could he not hear it, last time it was with a hateful temptation, without the slightest sincerity, but this time it was different, he had indeed made up his mind to face everything.

Su Xue smiled, broke into a smile, like a daffodil blooming with dew, shining all over the room when it landed, and returned to the earth in spring.

Shen Mo smiled as well. Just behind that smile. It's also a good hiding of deep worries.

Su Xue seemed to be unconscious, hugged Shen Mo's shoulders tightly for the first time, and smiled happily: "So that's how it feels." ”

"What does it feel?" Shen Mo asked softly.

Su Xue shook her head. He said, "Don't speak."

The silent hand hung in mid-air for a few moments. It ended up falling on her hair and caressing it gently

Make move.

"Hold me tight," Su Xue said as she closed her eyes.

Shen Mo hugged her, contrary to Su Xue's intoxicated appearance, his brows furrowed slightly.

"When you hold me" Su Xue could naturally feel his stiffness, and said with some resentment: "Can you not think of others?" ”

Shen Moqiang smiled: "Okay." ”

"Don't leave tonight," Su Xue said as she sniffed his breath deeply.

"Don't be in a hurry at this time," Shen paused, and then said, "Wait for the door."

"You'll never see me again. Su Xue Road.

After a long time, he let out a low voice from his throat: "Okay"

The red candle is shining high, and there are two figures in the window. Closer and closer, gradually becoming one.

11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

When I woke up silently, the sun outside was already high, and I saw the light blue tent embroidered with daffodils, and when I touched the brocade quilt on my body, there was still the faint fragrance of Su Xue on it, but I didn't see the shadow of Yiren.

He whispered Su Xue's name a few times. But he didn't get a response, and he felt a chill again, it turned out that the warm cage had already been extinguished, and the net was about to get up, but he saw a letter next to the pillow.

Shen Mo sighed in his heart, and knew that something bad had happened, so he quickly picked up the light blue envelope, and pulled out the letter inside. “※

"When Shen Lang saw this letter, the concubine body had disappeared into the sea of people, please forgive me for saying goodbye, but please don't look for me again, because leaving you is what I have always wanted to do the most.

"Don't be surprised by my straightforwardness, because if you say goodbye today, you and I will never see each other, and the concubine can finally vomit her heart and no longer hide it. The reason why I left was not for fear of destroying your family, in fact, whether it was your wife or concubine, I didn't know anything well, and it was impossible for me to sacrifice myself for their feelings, I couldn't be so noble; The reason I left. It's just because I can't pass this level.

"When I met Lang Jun at the beginning, I was forced to do it because of the lives of my younger siblings, so I had to bend my mind and serve him; When it was resolved, the concubine apologized for her younger siblings. But he can't afford to make it grow up safely and become a family, so he can only take refuge in adults.

It also caused you to do a few tricks, all because of the concubine.

It can be said that the purpose of the concubine's approach to the adult is to use it, and the same will be true for a long time afterward. The concubine originally planned that as long as her younger siblings were good, she would let the adults take what she wanted, but I didn't have a psychological burden, because my identity was a prostitute. No matter how noble the dress is, it will still be sold in the end. Instead of selling yourself to a wicked old man, why not sell to a handsome, dashing, high-ranking champion? At that time, the concubine was ready to meet your Mrs. Yin for a while.

"But maybe I was too immature, and I missed the first shot, and not only did I not fascinate the adults. But he fell incorrigibly into it. I never knew that there were men in the world who could make me think about tea and dinner, and my soul haunted me, before I met an adult. Although the concubine is in a prosperous state, she is surrounded by the grass of the pond and the canopy of Sizhu, and her heart is full of loneliness. Playing the piano makes the sound of a resentful crane; Looking up at the sky, but seeing Guihong flying away, I just hate not to follow it and leave this dirty world forever. "But I don't know when, the concubine has a root, and that root is on Lang Jun, as long as I can be with you in everything, I no longer feel cold, I am willing to sing for Lang Jun, cry for Lang Jun, laugh for Lang Jun, and do everything for Lang Jun.

But no matter how pretentious the concubine is, she can't hide her dirtiness, and I'm not qualified to fall in love with you, because I'm using adults to make profits for myself. If I have no feelings for adults, I will trade skin and flesh, which is also the original intention of the concubine; But I'm no longer the original self, so I can't sell myself to you, because,,I fell in love with Lang Jun.

be

"Love is not a sale, and a sale cannot be love. If I really follow you, then everything that has passed between you and me will become a flesh and skin transaction, and I don't want to become a prostitute in front of you, so I can only give you nothing. Forgive me for my contradictions, but I am such a person, and I will not change until I die."

again

"But I really don't want to leave you, so I have found a job in the palace, and I really hope to see you often, and talk to you, and I will be satisfied. Who knows that the tree wants to be quiet and the wind does not stop, this wish is a luxury, not only you don't come to the door for several months, but there are a lot of wild bees and butterflies, so I can't bear to be disturbed, ask the princess for help. Li Niangniang also persuaded me to marry early, and told me that she was her mother's brother. Only then did the concubine know that she was a lone woman. The children of the powerful in Kyoto are so helpless that they have long had the intention of going. "It's just that I have always had regrets, and I haven't let my sweetheart move, it's really a big failure in the life of a concubine, but today I made a mistake and my long-cherished wish was fulfilled, so I have no hatred, and when will I not go? Since then, he has traveled in the mountains and forests, or boated in the North Underworld, tuned the piano, read the Golden Sutra, and was at ease, without worry, and Lang Jun also cherished himself, no need to worry. It's better to forget about each other's concubine Xue'er in the rivers and lakes

Silent heart twitched and hurt, tears had already wet his cheeks, and he muttered, "Silly woman." The paper is full of absurd words, but the last sentence reveals the stuffing "small."

The so-called "it is better to forget each other in the rivers and lakes" is from "Zhuangzi", the original words are "spring tears, fish and land, each other with wet, each other with foam, it is better to forget each other in the rivers and lakes." It means that the two fish were trapped in a small depression after the spring had dried up, unable to move, and as soon as they turned around, they grazed the pain in their respective bodies. For Xiaoyu, instead of supporting each other and surviving their lives, it is better to let each other enjoy a free and happy life in the river."

She's just a stupid woman after all. I didn't want to see my sweetheart bear the infamy of injustice and destroy his peaceful life, so I left these pretending to be strong words to reassure him, "Are you telling me to be at ease for the rest of my life" Shen Mo muttered, pushed open the door as he spoke, and asked Sanchi outside: "When did Miss Su leave?" ”

"Gone early in the morning". Sanchi said with an ambiguous smile on his face: "She said that the princess has piano lessons, and said that adults are tired, so let you sleep more." ”

"What are you eating?" Silent said with a dark face: "Li Niangniang is now revolving around the prince all day long. How can I learn the piano? ”

"Ah," said Sanchi, opening his mouth wide, "she won't be,"

"Don't follow me yet!" Shen Mo kicked him and said, "Let Zhu Shisan also help find it." ”

But after looking for a day, there was no trace, and Su Xue was really gone. "One by one...... One

It's been delayed for so long to send it, but you can't blame me, I'm scolded all over my head, I have to think about it,