Since they didn't eat breakfast, the 9th Company entered the stage of exhaustion, sweating, sensory and perceptual ability declined, and the brain was blank from time to time during the attack. Cheng Yukun not only didn't eat breakfast, but also didn't eat compressed dry food, he entered the state earlier than the soldiers. The real secret of his ability to forget about hunger, artillery fire, minefields, and perseverance in climbing upwards lies in the fact that he has formed a clear belief in his mind. He only needed to take the 9th Company to the No. 1 Ridge and bring it to the 632 Highland area, and he would have completed all the tasks. He did not understand that the above belief was the result of a decrease in judgment caused by hunger, which in turn had enabled him to view artillery fire, minefields, and even hunger in his belly more indifferently than ever before. His series of ideas are: death is connected with war, and if the 9th Company does not fight, of course he will not die; Since he would not die, it was impossible for him to be harmed by the artillery fire in front of him, the minefields, the hunger in his belly. This kind of thinking is ridiculous in the eyes of ordinary people, but it is very natural in Cheng Yukun's heart. The whole reduction in his intellectual activity also caused him to instinctively take the compressed dry food from Ulant and gnaw it on at some point. He didn't realize he was eating compressed dry food; Since then, he has not stopped eating compressed dry food. It was by relying on this subconscious state of chewing and eating that he had the physical strength and energy, and climbed the No. 1 Ridge Mountain Beam in front of the whole company.

As soon as the cool breeze blew on the mountain beam, Cheng Yukun's sense and perception ability recovered most of it. The 7th and 8th companies had left, leaving only a foot signal corpsman from the battalion headquarters standing on the ridge of the hill waiting for them. Seeing him staggering up, the signal corpsman hurriedly took a few steps forward and raised his hand to salute: "Report to Company Commander Cheng, the battalion commander asked me to stay and convey his words: The deputy regiment commander ordered you not to delay after the company came up, move forward immediately, and speed up to catch up with the team in front!" ”

The Soviet Gaoping dual-purpose machine gun on the No. 3 peak of Xilian Mountain was firing ferociously at the large hillside south of the No. 1 Mountains; The team of the 8th Company had made a great leap downward. Cheng Yukun clearly realized that a more difficult journey was still ahead! The first to follow him to the line were not the 1st and 2nd platoons, but the 3rd platoon, which was originally at the end of the marching sequence. Cheng Yukun immediately ordered Shang Yujun: "3rd Platoon Commander, now your platoon is the sharp knife platoon, quickly follow the 8th Company!" Pass backwards at the same time to speed up the march in 1 row and 2 rows! ”

Compared with before departure, Shang Yujun's face was paler; Because of severe dehydration, the edges and corners of his face also protruded. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, but immediately carried out Cheng Yukun's order.

When Shang Yujun rushed down the No. 1 Lingnan slope with 3 rows, Liang Tenghui was just supported by Zhang Wei to walk up the mountain beam, and his face looked in a trance. Cheng Yukun was angry again: Look at this trainer, he hasn't reached his destination yet, he has to wait alone! He didn't think about it, so he shouted in a complaining voice: "Instructor, what did you do later?" Why didn't the 1st and 2nd rows keep up?! ”

Liang Tenghui didn't answer him, only reflexively raised his eyelids at him. Liang Tenghui didn't eat in the morning, his stomach was empty, he used to be a lawyer, he always sat in the office, his physical fitness was worse than Cheng Yukun, and he shook after walking for a long time. Zhang Wei also asked him to eat dry food at the beginning, but he only chewed indiscriminately twice, and his stomach became cramping, so he had to stop eating. Leung Teng-fai felt that he had nothing to do with the war before he set out, and when he was surrounded by artillery fire and minefields, he gained a metaphysical sense of security; This state of affairs did not prevent him from fulfilling his duties on the way, and when a shell seriously wounded a soldier of the 1st platoon, he was able to arrange quite clearly to carry the wounded down on a stretcher. Further up, this mental state of separation of body and mind combined with the prostration caused by physical exhaustion, making him a person in a trance, relying on the strong Zhang Wei to carry him step by step onto the No. 1 Ridge Mountain Beam. Cheng Yukun's words still woke him up, making his half-unconscious, half-numb consciousness understand that he had arrived on the mountain beam. But then I glanced at the 632 highlands area in the southeast, and dimly thought that the road was still far away, the Soviet troops on Xilian Mountain were shooting wildly at their inevitable path, and the Grim Reaper was still soaring under this sky with black and terrible wings, and Liang Tenghui's true self was unwilling to return to reality, and it left this war and its own body! Cheng Yukun finally didn't hear him say anything, but was surprised to see that he didn't stop on the mountain beam under Zhang Wei's support, and followed the 3rd row down the Nandapo slope!

Ever since witnessing what was happening on the edge of the forest during the Soviet bombardment in the early morning, Shang Yujun had never been freed from the overwhelming darkness and fear that suddenly broke into his mind at that moment. “…… Die...... Yes. Amid the sound of shells and explosions in the woods, he curled up in the depths of the cave, staring at the small piece of the cave wall in front of him indifferently, and felt for a long time the terrible shiver like a cold snake crawling up the vertebral groove and wrapping around his neck and throat, and his consciousness was completely frozen, and only the thought above that made him extremely frightened; He already understood what was happening in the forest, but he didn't understand, especially not that death would be such a naked and completely unprepared form. It seems that death should not be so sudden, turning a living person into a crater of smoke like a thin veil, it should not be so simple...... Yes, it shouldn't be that simple!

"Die. …… What kind of thing is it? It's the same as everything I know in the past, interpreting its concepts, theories, poems, music, paintings...... It's all different. …… Death is simply an unpredictable, sudden, and unexpected fact. …… Death is the end of everything, not only the end of all metaphysical and soul-like existence of thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc., but also the destruction of ** in the first place. ”

The flow of consciousness flowed, and when he got here, it was clogged again, as if someone wanted him to appreciate more carefully the heavy connotation unique to the word "destruction". The cold snake moved around his throat, tightening his neck tighter and tighter; The darkness in front of him gradually faded, Shang Yujun raised his head and looked out of the cave, the darkness did not completely dissipate, it turned into a gray-black curtain, shrouded in all the scenery as far as the eye could see, so that the heaven and earth, mountains, rivers, plants and trees under the artillery fire all had an unusually terrifying tone. As if to understand the full meaning of the word "destruction", his gaze once again subconsciously fell to the shell crater outside the forest below. He still didn't see it, all he saw was a few bushes burning along the edge of the pit. The sight of the branches of the bush being black, and the flames that were devouring the branches and leaves, made his heart thrive, and he suddenly felt more terrible than the scene of death he had just experienced.

"What's going on here? …… Yes, one thing happened. Because of that crater, all those black flames, I suddenly couldn't understand anything. …… I lost my ability to understand war and death. "Consciousness flowed again, and clogged again; It's smooth again, it's clogged again.

He encounters something he simply can't understand: death...... It terrified him. Is this shameful? No. …… Life is what every grass is infinitely longing for, otherwise whenever the cold winter goes and early spring comes, they will not hurriedly and joyfully unfold the little greenery that has been treasured and nurtured in their hearts, they will not let their flowers bloom in the most beautiful season of life, and they will not sprinkle the seeds to the ends of the earth when the autumn wind is bleak. …… Death is not willing for an ant, so the corpse of the ant will also show a painful and ugly posture after death. …… Man is the spirit of all things, his living space and thinking space are so vast, cognitive ability can even reach his own unpredictable realm, every new day, every new landscape - a mountain, a river, a forest and even a fallen leaf, a drop of water illuminated by the sun, can bring joy and happiness to his life, all year round, he can expect to get the joy that other creatures can hardly get, in order to make himself happy, man has created so many achievements of civilization that are enough to reflect the beauty of natureAs soon as man learned to stand, he began his voyage to conquer the universe. …… In order to enjoy life, people also make great efforts to control aging and prevent themselves from dying prematurely. …… People have an astonishing number of things than ants, but they only have one life like ants, so death is particularly terrible and pity for people.

But man also creates war.

He continued to think about it, but his consciousness was clogged here, and he was confronted with something dark and terrible that he didn't understand.

Life is what people desire; Death is hated by the people; But people use war to kill others and themselves. …… Men who created science, invented machines, and wrote magnificent poems should not be so intellectually inferior. …… But they still have to use war to solve many problems. There can be no deeper, more reasonable, and more powerful reason for this, a reason that is both sad and helpless. …… His thinking returned to rigorous logical deduction; He realized that he had just begun to shake off the disorder and chaos that the crater had brought to him, and that he was getting closer to understanding the essence of war and the death it brought to soldiers. But he couldn't continue to think about it. Half an hour after the Soviet shelling, the whole battalion had received the order to run. Ulant called him out of the cave and conveyed the company commander's order to take the 3rd platoon to assemble outside the forest. Shang Yujun mechanically carried out the company commander's order, and the inner problem was not solved, on the contrary, it was given a new sense of urgency and heaviness because the company was about to set off to fight.

"You probably didn't figure it out before you fell!" He thought.

Shang Yujun stood on the side of the assembled team and shook his head, trying to wake up from this never-ending dream-like thought, but he saw the sun through the forest: the sun was also black, and in the center was a black blazing flame; Beneath the sun were the heavens and the earth, the mountains, the grass and trees that he was familiar with, all of them all black, or without exception, a thin black veil like a light mist!

With these feelings and thoughts, he experienced everything that happened after the assembly of the whole company: attending the officers' meeting and listening to Cheng Yukun convey the instructions of the deputy regiment commander; Organize pre-departure combat inspections in the back platoon; Then stand in line and wait for the moment to go. He did all this passively, absent-mindedly, and the pressing problem in his heart prevented him from really turning his attention to the outside world, but what was happening outside the world prevented him from continuing to think deeply. He didn't hear Zhang Zhongliang's cry, and it wasn't until Cheng Yukun ran over and yelled at Zhang Zhongliang and him that he woke up, but he didn't hear what Cheng Yukun said. At this moment, there was only one simple thought that suddenly surged into his heart: What is this nasty guy shouting? Let him get out of the way! At the thought of this, a vicious thought came to his lips without a teacher.

"Company commander, he's hungry!" He said loudly at Cheng Yukun, his eyes becoming bright and sharp. The effect of this sentence was really good, the surrounding soldiers laughed, and Cheng Yukun thought that he had been greatly insulted, shouted something at him, and walked away angrily!

Then something else happened, but he didn't think it had anything to do with him, but he never returned to the ice of logical thinking that seemed to be about to find an answer soon.

Then the company set out. The sun, the earth, and the mountains were still black and lifeless, but there was a greater sense of urgency. A path, also covered with the black veil of death, staggered to the Great Mountain Beam of the No. 1 Ridge. His attention returned to the unresolved problem in his mind.

"War and death. …… It's a question I don't understand, but one I have to understand," he thought, as a cannonball flew from the direction of Mount Helian and landed high on the hillside with a roar, and he instinctively ducked backwards, not heeding the stones under his feet, and sat down. After the smoke cleared, he saw several soldiers in the 2nd row in front of him looking at him with sneering eyes, as if to say: Look at a shell that scares you! Shang Yujun suddenly felt hot on his face again.

“…… Do they really think of me like that? …… They must have thought I was afraid of death! …… But don't they have the slightest fear of death? He thought, and his heart trembled again, and it suddenly occurred to him that if no one else was afraid of death, his fear might be contemptible and disgraceful. It took more than ten minutes for another shell to roar, and before it could hit the ground, he saw several soldiers who had just laughed at him lying on the ground screaming and lying on the ground, not getting up for a long time.

“…… No, they are also afraid of death. He thought, feeling better that he had been tormented by shame, "In that case, why did they laugh at me just now?" …… What is the difference between them and mine? ”

Another cannonball flew in, and he fell to the ground again, and there was a sudden excitement in his life.

He stood up again; Step by step, I climbed to the No. 1 Ridge Mountain. War was incomprehensible to him, and death was what he feared, but this mechanical climbing seemed to have nothing to do with either directly, but only with another professional duty which had now become his life instinct, with the habit of obedience which it conferred upon him and which he had gradually developed. As a result of this path, from time to time shells flew in, his inner attention had to be partially shifted to the outside world, and the fear of death in the outside world also partially neutralized his inner attention to the problem of death; However, he could not completely abandon his attention to death, and could not help but think about the metaphysical reasons for war and his own death.

This is how Shang Yujun was the first to climb the No. 1 Ridge Mountain Beam with 3 platoons over 1 platoon and 2 platoons: his "metaphysical" fear of war and death prevented him from feeling the fear of death in the outside world wholeheartedly, and his reaction to the latter fear was insensitive and sluggish, and many times others felt that he should lie down quickly, but he continued to climb up the ridge as if he did not feel it, and then his behavior became calm and heroic in the eyes of the soldiers of the whole platoon; Before the start of the Soviet shelling, he took a blind eye to the whole platoon to eat dry food in violation of the regulations, and when he set off, the soldiers in the 3rd platoon had a little more "capital" in their stomachs than the soldiers in the 1st platoon and the 2nd platoon, and this "capital" showed its effect at the juncture; Shang Yujun himself abided by the company's regulations, and when he ate compressed dry food in advance, he was the first to enter the state of dizziness, weakness in his legs, and reduced feeling and consciousness; At this time, Gong Wenxuan, the eighth squad leader, and Lu Liwei, the seventh squad leader, successively fulfilled the promise they made to him before going to bed last night, they did not let him "lose face", took turns to support him, and walked up step by step, and finally reached the big mountain beam that seemed to be too high to climb before.

Standing on the ridge line with both feet, he noticed that the company commander had also completed the climb to the No. 1 ridge almost at the same time. Shang Yujun's consciousness returned to reality: Cheng Yukun didn't let them stay on the mountain beam line for a while, so he ordered the 3rd platoon to turn into a sharp knife platoon and go down to Nandapo to catch up with the team of the 8th Company!

The majestic peaks of Xilian Mountain slammed Shang Yujun's eyes head-on, and like everything he saw today, they were covered with a terrifying black veil of death. The fear in his heart returned, so Cheng Yukun saw a fleeting hesitation on his bloodless face. But the force of obedience given to him by the sense of professional responsibility, which had become another part of the instinct of life, was once again acting on his will, and Cheng Yukun's order was immediately carried out.

Shang Yujun didn't expect that the problem in his heart that had not been solved at the level of logical thinking was temporarily solved due to a discovery in the later trip.

In the first ten minutes, the Gaoping dual-purpose machine gun on the No. 3 peak of Xilian Mountain was still chasing the 8th Company and 3rd Platoon in front, and did not pay attention to them; However, this good fortune did not last long, and when they moved forward a little closer to the team of the 8th Company and 3rd Platoon, the Gaoping dual-purpose machine gun left the target in front of them and turned the muzzle of the gun towards them!

"Knock Knock Knock ——!" The first short shot hit the grass in front of him, and Shang Yujun quickly fell to his stomach, and his spirit was highly perked up and alerted by this series of terrifying sounds.

(To be continued)