【Tana】

I think of my mother again, and when I think of my mother when I am hungry, it is something that I am used to again and again. No family, no brothers, among the dozen or so children huddled here, there is not even a single person I can get close to, like them, I am an orphan, but I came here much later, perhaps, because of my mother, I came here later than I remember.

I remember very late, and when my mother was there, she would bring me a steamed bun every day, and eat a bite of steamed buns, or a bite of meat. My mother always stared at me with loving eyes until I had finished eating, and ate nothing left of what she had brought back, and then she laughed and laughed, and sang beautiful songs that I could not understand no matter how I listened to them. In her arms, I was warm, happy, and different from Archie.

It feels so good to be in my mother's arms, she is always smiling, even when I was bullied by Archie and them, she just laughed and pulled Archie and them away. She's a very nice person, even in this house that doesn't count as a house, she's a likable being. Her hands can turn bunches of hay into straw mats, can distinguish poisonous and non-poisonous wild vegetables from the ground, can boil what is brought back from outside into a small pot of fragrant porridge, and can make this dilapidated house our first home, our real home.

I remember that when she first came, she had a high fever, and she collapsed at the door with red cheeks, and kept muttering a word she didn't understand.

Archie disagrees with bringing her back, saying that there is no need for someone here who can't bring anything back.

I stopped him and screamed and said that she couldn't bring anything back, she was just sick, and when she got better, she would come back with food.

Archie said that she was a sick person, and she had a terrible contagious disease, so she was driven out by others, and there could not be a single patient left here.

I said that she was not sick, she was just fainting from hunger, and that she would get better after two days of porridge, and I also said that I could give her my porridge and she would get better soon.

Archie said that she was a woman and that there was no need for a woman here.

I said, Gege is also a woman, and she stays here too.

Archie was furious, and he said that if I insisted on keeping her, he would drive me away.

I said, I'll go, as long as he asks me to take care of her, she and I will go and never come back.

Archie got even angrier, and he grabbed me by the hair and asked me to confess to him.

I kicked him, and I bit him the arm.

I've never fought anyone like this, even the most domineering of Gege. I closed my eyes in fear, but I could still clearly feel Archie being bitten out of blood.

Archie is the older brother to all of us, and he is the eldest of our dozen children.

Perhaps even he thought it was new for me to rebel against him, and after finally seeing the two deep rows of teeth marks on the back of his hand that I had bitten out, he suddenly pushed me aside.

I hit my head on a big rock, the stone we used to sleep on at that time, which didn't hurt very much at the time, and now, the sharp pain seemed to make me faint.

He still seemed to be angry, and pressed on me and hit me desperately.

I could still hear Gege's screams, but in the direction of the sound, I couldn't see anyone's face.

I couldn't see, and though I could hear anyone without hindrance, I really couldn't see it.

Gege's screams seemed to get louder, and I clutched her hand, my untrimmed nails digging deep into her flesh, but I couldn't see it.

I could hear Archie's heavy sound hitting me, and I could feel the pain seeping into my bone marrow, but I couldn't see it.

The dog said, stop fighting, she can't see. He probably heard my muttering, or maybe he saw my eyes struggling in a daze.

Archie stopped, gasping for air, but when he finally understood the unpronounced sentence from the dog's mouth, he pulled me up at once.

I don't know what he's doing, he seems to be washing my eyes with the only precious coarse salt we have and bringing it to me, stinging and stinging, but still not visible.

I heard Gege's crying, and if she wasn't giggling, she was always the first to cry.

I heard Archie cursing and the sound of him kicking hard at the rock.

But I still can't see it.

I know the rules here, I know, it's time for me to leave.

Archie had already told each of us when he came here that you would not be welcome if you could not support yourself.

Everyone can only bring back a small amount of food every day, and it is hard to imagine what one more person means to everyone.

Everyone was silent, and even if we all left one day, the rule would still be here.

It's cruel, but it's the best way to let other people live without any burdens.

There will be no vote, although Archie said that there would have been people who voted for the decision to leave or stay for that person a long time ago, but that was a long way off.

At that time, around the fire we were all in the mood to listen to Archie's stories, but ironically, now it is our turn to become such a story.

Aren't you curious? Or is it because I already know how the story ends?

I got to my feet, a little groggily, and found a stick solid enough to support me as I walked to the door.

"Wait," my hand was grabbed, the large, powerful palm, which was Archie's feeling.

"You can't go!" Archie's tone trembled a little as if he was angry.

The bear's rough voice seemed to have asthma: "My food counts as your share." ”

Sugarbill said, "You can do my laundry." ”

Archie glared at him, "Count me in." ”

Gege had already taken my other hand and shook it around pleadingly: "Don't go. ”

Even licorice, who was out of breath with a constant cough, said the first sentence of the day: "I have something to eat,"

I didn't want to go, but I couldn't help but go, because I could hear the hungry sound of the woman lying on the ground.

Once again, there was dead silence in the room. Two people have two mouths.

Even if all of us here brought back twice as much food as usual, because she wasn't a child anymore, she was a woman.

I could even hear Archie gritting his teeth, "Stay,"

It's very light, but it can still be heard clearly in everyone's ears.

I tried to make my cheeks stiffen and smile at Archie, but he walked away from the spot and I couldn't find him again.

The dog's heartbeat was especially loud at this time, and I could even imagine the look on his hesitant face, he had always been the one who liked food the most, although I could clearly see how his stomach reacted to the food in the pot while I could still see what he looked like.

"Stay," his voice was released in an instant, from the empty stomach, from the hungry stomach, and from his mouth wide open as if it were a toothache.

"Stay," Gege's voice seemed sharper than ever.

I could feel the bear staring at me silently, taking the stick I had used as a crutch, and breaking into three knots in an instant as the last bit of moisture that had been fully dried and still retained to support the pliable outer skin, "Stay,"

Sugarbilled Duck's heart must have been worse than killing him, but he finally said, "Stay, remember to wash me two clothes." ”

Again, I had to stop. I don't know if there will still be visible tears in my eyes that I can't see, but I know that I am crying, and little by little drops of warm liquid like rain flow down my cheeks and into my mouth, it is the taste of home.

We've been together all night long ago, but now, for the first time, I feel that they are still my most precious family.

Perhaps the previous owner of the house had made it his home, and after it became like this, no one would have seen it as a home again, but now it was a home again.

Suddenly there was something warm in my hand, familiar patterns drawn on familiar shapes, and a familiar notch near the edge of me.

It was my bowl, and in the bowl, it was my familiar scent.

It's just that the temperature left on the bowl is so warm, so different-

Divider-

There is another bowl placed on the cyan stone platform.

It was the bowl of the woman who was still unconscious. I rubbed each one so carefully that the familiar seemed to be able to point out the gaps of various sizes on them.

And the woman's bowl was as smooth as jade without the slightest nick or scar, just like her face.

I've been at home for three whole days, and for three days I've done everything I can do, but the only thing I can do is rubbing the bowls and changing a towel soaked in cold water for the woman with a slightly hot forehead. I wanted to go out with Archie, just like we used to, but there was no room for compromise in his tone: "No! You can't go out, and, what if she's left here alone in case you're gone? She's a woman! ”

I sat down silently, I almost forgot that she was a woman, and that she was a very beautiful woman, and that everyone knew it was dangerous to keep such a woman here, and Archie must have thought so, and he insisted that I stay with her, and told me never to go out.

At that time, the streets were very chaotic, and every day you could hear the cries of women, the shouting and scolding of soldiers, and the sound of things being broken. I do not know. I wasn't interested in this kind of gossip before, but now I don't think it has anything to do with me.

The woman finally woke up, perhaps because she hadn't eaten for a long time, and her voice seemed to be weaker than me: "Where is this?" ”

I don't know exactly where our home is. All I know is that after going out from here and walking a long, long way north, I will see an old man with a good temper, and he will give me the most food every time.

After a while, she calmed down and said, "I want to drink water." ”

I took her bowl down the bluestone steps and carefully filled it with water, but I tripped over a stone and fell heavily to the ground.

Luckily, the bowl didn't break, but the woman screamed for some reason.

"You're hurt!" Her voice was so good, not so much frightened as pity and distress.

I carefully placed the water in front of her, winked at her, and smiled, "I'm fine." ”

But her hand still refused to let go and pulled me over, I could feel the stinging pain of the cold water washing the wound, and before I could react, the burning wound was taken into her cold lips.

"You don't want to do this" Even though I can't see it, I can know how dirty I am, messy clothes, messy hair, not even my face is clean for a day, and when I can see, I can see that people look at us not only with disdain, but also with disgust

But she was still sucking at my wounds, even though she was a person with no strength at all, a person who had been hungry for at least three days, a person who had been weak enough to stand up just a moment ago. I don't know why her hand has so much strength, I don't know why I can't break free of her hand, I don't know if it's a faint desire in my heart or whatever, but I still hope she can stop and let me get away from her.

The burning pain of the wound gradually disappeared, a tickling touch hung down on my lap, it was her hair, I trembled and stretched out my hand, as if the struggle had used up all my strength, I wanted to touch the strand of hair, I wanted to follow the strand to find her face, but I didn't dare to do it.

The sound of something tearing up, and then something wrapped around my knees. As if the pain had just burst out at this moment, I suddenly cried out as her slender fingers tightened hard, and in her anxious voice, my cry was so sharp and crazy: "I don't need others to care about me, you go, you go!" ”

But she held me tightly in her arms as if she was going to hold me for the rest of her life. It was so close, I could smell the faint fragrance of her body, and the nice smell of soap. I knew she was clean, not only her face, but also her hair, and her clothes, and every time I thought of her, I was ashamed of myself.

She suddenly began to sing, in a low, soft tone in a strangely reassuring key, I don't know the name of the song, I had never even heard it, but she sang so shallowly, like she was coaxing me like a wounded child. Until I fell asleep.

When I woke up again, she had moved back a large urn big enough to fit me and Archie and Gege all in it. I don't know exactly how she managed to get that big urn back, but when I asked about her, I could feel her smiling.

She boiled the water with firewood, brought it to a temperature that was neither cold nor hot, and, gently, put me in.

I smelled the nice honey locust again, I smelled the familiar aroma of her again, and I was anxious to crawl out of the urn, but she only said two words to me: "Don't move!" ”

It was still that nice voice, and I could feel that if I had to struggle, she would be angry. She's like a mother who bathes her naughty children, a mother who I've forgotten what she looks like.

"From now on, you can call me mother," there was a hint of unmistakable majesty in her soft voice.

I pouted disdainfully, "I don't have a mother." ”

"Mother is my name," her voice said without hesitation as I shouted out loud.

"I just don't have a mother," I was still working on what little I had left, and she just thought about it before making a concession: "You can call me anything." ”

That's how easily she gained my trust.

In the same way, she gained the trust of others.

I almost hated her because of it.

She must have gotten some of my most hated clothes from somewhere and combed my hair for a long time.

I even thought viciously that if I accidentally touched the fire before I put them on, then I wouldn't have to wear the last thing I wanted to wear.

I even fantasized that if my hair could grow longer and mess more, would the comb be broken?

But I was still at the mercy of her like a wooden doll for a long time, and it made me feel a kind of bad time.

"We're back," and sure enough, the moment he pushed the door open, Archie's familiar voice seemed to be stuck in the tip of his throat, and even the last word was barely audible. I already felt that he saw me, and I was pretty sure that it was because he saw me that he was so out of shape.

"I'm back!" Gege's voice was always so energetic, but today it was a little too energetic, her voice was not a greeting but a scream. I don't know why she always ran to me and threw herself into my arms when she was the second to enter the door before, and why she was so abnormal this time, but I knew that it must be inseparable from some kind of change that happened to me.

Gege almost knocked me to the ground with a sudden rush of action.

"Be careful!" Archie's voice was full of the same worry as usual, but this time I always sounded a little weird, and he stepped back away from my hand before I grabbed his arm with the agility of holding the two of us together.

He stepped away, and I looked in disbelief in the direction where his footsteps had stopped, which he had never done before, and I think my face must have been full of consternation.

"You're a potato?" Another familiar voice sounded close at hand, and the man breathed a sigh of relief after receiving my nod in reply, "Sure enough, it's you, I thought I was wrong," Sugarbill's words puzzled me.

"We thought you had suddenly become a girl," the bear's words made me fall into the abyss at once, "Woman? Am I a woman? ”

I don't even know how to react, maybe doing nothing is the best option, right?

"Don't say that," the voice that seemed to be laughing wasn't far away, "she's always been a girl." ”

I could feel myself almost fainting, and I could already feel that some people had fainted, and I could hear Dasha shouting in the loudest voice I'd ever heard, "You said she's a woman?!" ”

"It's a girl," the dog receptively retorted as quickly as he did, but added as if jokingly, "but her breasts are the smallest of any girl I've ever seen, and it's normal not to have noticed it before." ”

I don't even know what kind of expression I'm supposed to put on my face.

"You're telling the truth!" Gege immediately reached out her favorite bully hand and grabbed me on the chest, and at the same time, a low exclamation came from the right, and it seemed that the woman had also fallen into her clutches.

"You little girl!" Her voice seemed to be angry, but was that softness that was about to melt people really what she looked like when she was angry? I really doubt it.

Immediately I heard Gege screaming: "I'm not a little girl, I'm Gege!" ”

"It's about to be revealed!" This time, there was a sudden hint of evil in his voice.

As if to annotate her words, Gege immediately exclaimed, "My clothes! I don't want to be looked down upon by Archie! You let go of me! ”

Then there was a much louder sound of water than when I fell in, and Gege was a little nervous, but more excited.

"Turn your heads, close your eyes, and don't peek!" Although she is the youngest of us, she is always very sensitive in such a place, so she must be really a Gege, right? I was suddenly a little curious about her background, and now that I think about it, I didn't even ask her at all.

"Don't worry, they'll be leaving soon," the woman commanded cooperatively, "you guys go cook!" Also, don't peek at Gege! Otherwise, I won't give you food! ”

Just that last sound made the little girl smile when her legs couldn't reach the bottom of the urn, and I even heard her grinning and calling the woman's sister.

Now that I think about it, her plain face doesn't look like a married woman at all, and I suddenly remembered what she said, it turned out that she was really called Niang.

My ears were full of the sound of Gege and her frolicking in the water, although I didn't want to, but I was pulled over by Gege with the surname Ren and the woman who deliberately indulged her, because I couldn't see Gege, so she put Gege in my arms, and then without warning, put the two of us into the water together.

Gege laughed. Although I still couldn't see the joy of her little face that had been stained with charcoal ash, I knew that at that moment, she finally had all the joy that a six-year-old child could have.

When it was finally time to dress Gege, even though she was reluctantly carried out by me, she still rubbed around my soaked body, as if she wanted to get back the lost joy of playing in the water.

I smelled the scent of the woman again, and she took Gege from my arms like a dutiful mother, and changed her into a new outfit as it had been for me.

I could hear Gege's exclamations of delight, followed by her giggles. Gege is a very laughing girl, and no matter what time it is, she is the one who likes beautiful clothes the most, and she also likes clean clothes the most, even in summer, she refuses to sleep on the cool bluestone floor.

"Archie, hurry up and undress!" While scratching Gege's itch, the woman pointed to the water, "Which of you washes first?" ”

Archie, who is usually the most daring, refused to be the first to take off his clothes at this time, listening to his awkward voice like a girl, I suddenly felt a little curious: "Archie should be a girl too, right?" ”

It was late after everything was tidied up, and I didn't know if I could see the lights outside through the tiny hole in the window, but I knew that everyone here whose faces were lit by the campfire was happy.

The woman finally served herself a bowl of porridge and suddenly asked a question, "Isn't it too inappropriate to call her a girl like that?" ”

I was stunned for a moment, and although I didn't realize that there was anything wrong, Gege next to me immediately shouted, "Yes, yes, girls should have girls' names - why don't you call them Gege like me?" ”

I laughed dumbly, this little girl, if two people are called by the same name, who can tell who is who is the two of us after being called?

Archie, who had been silent since he came back, suddenly spoke: "It's called Apple." ”

Gege immediately objected, "Don't, it's better to be called Taotao." ”

Archie said sullenly, "It's called Apple." There was no emotion in his voice, but I heard something strange about it, staring at me as if it were watching me admit it.

I opened my mouth, squeezed out a stiff smile, and said word by word, "My name is Apple." ”

Immediately there were screams of dissatisfaction behind him, as well as the laughter of everyone, among them, only the woman's voice was soft, so good. I could feel her gaze staring at me all the time.

From then on, there was an extra girl named Apple in that room.

From then on, I was no longer an ugly potato, but a unique green apple. (To be continued.) )