Xie Jinyuan fell ill, and in front of all the soldiers, he fell headlong on the hard ground in the morning during the platoon training.

When he was forcibly sent to the hospital and lay down in the hospital ward, Xie Jinyuan, who had been frowning tightly, suddenly smiled.

On the hospital bed next to him, the person who was staring at him quietly with a pair of bright eyes was not Lei Zhen who hadn't seen him for a month?! No wonder that the lovely nurse lady secretly reminded him to be careful of this "weird" patient when she was admitted to the ward.

Even if Lei Zhen's whole body was covered with bandages, even if he could only lie on the bed honestly, but in his body, there was an indescribable fierceness, and it exuded a dangerous aura that was enough to make any stranger retreat. I believe that any normal person who lives in the same room with a wild surname all over his body, and is stared at directly by a pair of green eyes every day without any disguise, will feel uncomfortable and restless, right?

Xie Jinyuan greeted with a smile: "I'm sorry, I've been thinking about visiting you in the hospital, but I can't help myself." I didn't expect that I was sick, but I fulfilled this wish, and it was a bit of a blessing to lose my horse. It looks like you're recovering pretty well, and you're probably almost out of bed. ”

Lei Zhen's eyes fell on Xie Jinyuan's thigh, he was silent for a moment, and said, "But you look very bad." ”

Xie Jinyuan's right leg was pierced by a Type 38 rifle bullet, and this kind of surgery did not even need to be done to remove the bullet, and he was lucky not to have a gunshot wound to the bone, as long as he could get proper treatment and recuperate, he would soon be healed. But a month has passed, the injury on Xie Jinyuan's right leg looks more serious than a month ago, and through the newly changed bandages, Lei Zhen can clearly smell the smell of blood coming out of Xie Jinyuan's right leg that was injured by a bullet. And Xie Jinyuan's face was full of exhaustion, and even the blazing brilliance in his eyes seemed to have dimmed a lot.

Before Xie Jinyuan could speak, the door of the ward was knocked open. Looking at Ling Weicheng, who was covered in sweat, his clothes were covered with dust, and his eyes were full of anxious tears, Xie Jinyuan's face showed a deep apology. It was he who ignored the dissuasion of the doctor and Ling Weicheng and had to leave the hospital and live in a lonely camp with all his subordinates. It was he who insisted on leading everyone every morning and after their special flag-raising ceremony facing the east, the strict parade practice began.

As long as he looked at the dirt on Ling Weicheng's body and the abrasions on her palms that could not be concealed, Xie Jinyuan knew that Ling Weicheng must have been so anxious that his heart beat fast and his legs were weak, and he didn't know how many times he fell to the ground. And the sad and anxious tears in Ling Weicheng's eyes silently reminded Xie Jinyuan that he is not only a soldier, but also a husband and father, he not only has the obligation to protect his family and defend the country, but also has the duty to protect his wife and children, so that they can live happily and happily.

Asking himself, Xie Jinyuan admitted that he may be a good soldier, but he is definitely not a good husband, let alone a good father.

Ling Weicheng stood in front of the door of the ward like that, not knowing how long she had been standing, until the complaints, apprehensions, and even anger in her eyes were replaced by tenderness and concern. Until the end, a thousand words turned into a normal whisper: "Does it hurt?" ”

All the expressions on Xie Jinyuan's face froze, and after a long time, he barely managed to squeeze out a smile and said softly: "It's okay, those boys are just making too much of a fuss." I just felt that my whole body was soft and weak, and I thought that maybe I was really tired, so I had a good meal, and then I covered my head and slept well, and I was alive again. ”

Ling Weicheng nodded, she walked to Xie Jinyuan's hospital bed, took out a sweat-soaked handkerchief from her pocket, helped Xie Jinyuan wipe off the cold sweat floating on her forehead, and said softly: "I'll go back and prepare your hospitalized things first, and then entrust Huzi and the girl to Ruifu to find someone to take care of, and when everything is done, before six o'clock in the evening, I will rush back." ”

Seeing that Ling Weicheng finished saying these words, turned around and was about to walk out of the ward, Xie Jinyuan suddenly called softly: "Weicheng." ”

Xie Jinyuan said softly: "I have followed me for so many years, I don't know how much I have suffered, how tired I have suffered, and I haven't had a good day, it is me Xie Jinyuan who is sorry for you and didn't take good care of the three of you." Now we are detained in the place where the birds don't, which is equivalent to being exiled, and I don't know when the British will let them go. ”

Looking at his wife, who was standing in front of the door of the ward, her whole body trembling slightly, Xie Jinyuan said in a low voice: "Weicheng, you take the two children back to your hometown in Guangdong, and leave now." We still have at least a dozen acres of thin fields in our hometown, guarding these fields, maybe it's a little hard, but at least you don't have to follow me here to be afraid. ”

Speaking of this, Xie Jinyuan closed his eyes, and he said word by word: "Weicheng, if you really blame me, if you can't forgive me, just when I Xie Jinyuan is dead, give the child to their grandfather and grandmother, and marry a man who can honestly care about you while I am young!" In that case, I will definitely not blame you, only happy for you! ”

The door of the ward was gently closed by Ling Weicheng, and a series of hurried footsteps continued to be transmitted in the long corridor outside the door. The painful and suppressed choking faintly reached Xie Jinyuan's ears through the wooden door that was not too heavy. Through the glass window in front of the ward, quietly looking at his wife who was covering her face with her hands and crying and rushed out of the hospital gate, Xie Jinyuan was really stupid.

"She's a good woman," Lei Zhen looked at Xie Jinyuan steadily, and suddenly asked, "I don't understand, you obviously care about her very much, why do you have to get rid of her?" ”

"I met Wei Cheng in the school, when I was just a boy who had just come out of the countryside, but she didn't dislike me and insisted on dating me despite her family's opposition. Every day at noon, I hid alone in the grove behind the campus, nibbling on my mother's corn tortillas, and she stayed with me in the grove every day after she found out, and she used the spoon in her hand to stuff the vegetables in her lunch box into my mouth. She's the kind of girl who cares about me without hurting my self-esteem. Such a touching feeling, I Xie Jinyuan will never forget it in my life. It was in that grove that I secretly swore to myself that if Wei Cheng really married me and followed me, I would definitely let her live a good life, even if I let myself die, I would never let people deceive her! ”

For the first time, Lei Zhen saw a few incomprehensible gentleness in Xie Jinyuan's eyes, and at this time, Xie Jinyuan probably thought of the grove behind the school again, and thought of the girl with a gentle face and a small spoon in her hand, right?

Xie Jinyuan said in a low voice: "Look at my current situation, to be honest, I am beautiful enough now." Every day, tens of thousands of people come to our lonely camp to see me and listen to my teachings. I heard that a week ago, two famous playwrights, Mr. Tian Han and Mr. Chen Baichen, joined hands to create and rehearse the stage play 'Eight Hundred Heroes' in just over 20 days, and it was officially performed three days ago. I was praised as a hero of the world, and even Yang Huimin, who risked his life to give us the national flag, was also vividly depicted. Now the Nationalist Axe has not only promoted me, but also awarded me a Blue Sky and White Medal, and the more than 300 soldiers we have stationed in Jiaozhou are known as 'a splendid pearl on this isolated island in Shanghai'! ”

"It looks like we're glamorous enough, but we're being detained by the British authorities, and no one can say when we'll be able to leave. Now that the Battle of Nanjing is on the bow and is about to break out, our Supreme Leader, in the Battle of Shanghai, put his hope on the intervention and mediation of the British and American countries, and in the Battle of Nanjing, the reason why the old man wants to resist desperately seems to be planning to support it for a certain time, first waiting for the reinforcements from Yunnan to arrive, and then putting his greatest hope on the intervention of the Soviet Union. Under such circumstances, our political axe is really cautious in the international arena, and how can it be possible for such a small army as ours to risk offending 'friendly countries' and negotiate with the British political axe?! ”

A trace of sympathy slowly rose in Lei Zhen's eyes, although he couldn't understand and couldn't understand a lot of things Xie Jinyuan said, even a lot of words, but now he gradually understood that behind Xie Jinyuan's scenery, he was burdened with too heavy helplessness. What is the difference between a combat hero whose freedom is restricted and can no longer gallop on the battlefield, and a tiger locked in a cage and an eagle with wings tied?!

"Our political axe is cautious, and we don't dare to offend these 'friends' at all, but I won't be polite."

Xie Jinyuan replied in a low voice: "I hate our group of people to the core, and in just one month, four or five groups of expatriates from this country have gone to our military camp to make trouble, and there are even ronins with explosives bags in their arms, shouting Long live the emperor, trying to rush into the barracks and die with their brothers. Over the course of a month, the military kept protesting to the Ministry of Industry and Bureau, clamoring for the British to extradite our 'war criminals' to the Hongkou Concession to be "tried" by them. In the face of this situation, if it were not for the fact that our group of 'heroes of the world' were so famous that the Ministry of Industry and the Bureau had to take into account the reactions of the people from all walks of life in Shanghai, we might have already become prisoners of our own ranks. ”

Lei Zhen frowned slightly, it was only at this time that he knew that the situation Xie Jinyuan was facing had reached this kind of situation of nine deaths!

Xie Jinyuan Huo Ran turned his head, he stared at Lei Zhen, at this time his voice was hoarse, "Lei Zhen, you say, at this time, how can I still let my wife and children stay in the lonely camp to face our unpredictable dangers?" ”

Lei Zhen was silent for a moment, and said in a deep voice: "Run, if you have the chance, you will run away with everyone!" ”

"Do you think I still have a chance to escape?"

Xie Jinyuan's face was full of bitter smiles, "We have been draped with so many halos and called so many heroes, do you think we can still be outright deserters under the gaze of the national public?" Have you ever seen a commander who wears the Blue Sky and White Medal on his chest, and without receiving an order from his superiors, he takes all his subordinates and abandons his position for his own safety? Not only you, but a few days ago, a group of patriotic gentry from Shanghai, after finding me, proposed that I lead all my subordinates to abscond in batches in disguise, regroup after leaving the concession, and return to the main army. To be honest, I was really moved at the time, but I could only tell them that I, Xie Jinyuan, walked into this barracks with my subordinates in a dignified manner, and I had to take them out in a dignified manner! How, does it sound like I'm glorious, noble, and great? ”

"In order to express my nobility, to express my determination, I even wrote a motto and hung it in my house."

Facing Lei Zhen's calm gaze, Xie Jinyuan chanted his motto word by word: "Cultivate the righteousness of heaven and earth, and make the ancient and modern perfect!" ”

This is really a very imposing vow, and it makes people feel like they are looking up to the mountains. However, who can hear the thick bitterness hidden behind these two sentences?!

Xie Jinyuan has come to this point, and he must not simply look at everything from the perspective of a soldier. He has been honored, expected, and deliberately promoted by the national political axe to create the title of "hero of the world", so he is stuck in this Jedi, and he can no longer struggle, but can only passively wait for the final judgment of the god of fate on him and more than 300 subordinates.

If this is the price that must be paid to become a "hero", Lei Zhen will never ask for it!

"Heroes. Hero! Hero? ”

Savoring the word over and over in his mouth, Xie Jinyuan suddenly asked, "Lei Zhen, do you know what a real hero is?!" ”

Lei Zhen shook his head, in his heart, heroes are sometimes, and they can really be equated with fools.

"Heroes can be reckless in origin, can have an enviable background, or can be criminals, thieves, and liars, and in their hands, they can have no real power. But they can use their own charm to unite everyone around them. In the face of an unpredictable future, in the face of the biggest dilemma, when groping forward in the dark, the hero must exude a confident light, guide himself and everyone around him who believes in him, find the right direction, and walk out of a successful road! If you can't do this, you definitely don't qualify as a hero! ”

Speaking of this, Xie Jinyuan smiled, "Now I am already a 'hero of the world', so I must be confident, so I must be strong and impeccable in the face of difficulties, so that everyone around me thinks that I am a person who can be trusted and can be followed with confidence in any situation." Even if I've been trapped by the aura of 'hero' and can't struggle anymore, I have to force a smile. Obviously, the injury on my leg is getting worse and worse, and I have to show up on time at six o'clock every morning, regardless of the wind or rain, blow the assembly whistle, and lead my subordinates to practice together. But do you know that when I finally couldn't support my body anymore this morning, and fell to the ground, I felt a glimmer of irrepressible happiness in my heart...... I finally fell ill, and I could finally stop paying attention to the problems that were giving me headaches that were already beyond my scope to solve, and lay in my comfortable room, hugging a warm quilt, and sleeping well and enjoying the rare silence. ”

Lei Zhen let out a long sullen breath, and there was already a faint sympathy in his eyes when he looked at Xie Jinyuan.

Suddenly, Lei Zhen had a realization in his heart, the age difference between him and Xie Jinyuan was almost doubled, whether it was in terms of knowledge, experience, conversation, understanding of life or military warfare, they were by no means on the same level. But Xie Jinyuan opened his heart to him, isn't it because Xie Jinyuan has become a hero, and heroes must not show weakness in the face of people who believe in themselves and trust themselves, let alone hesitate? !

Heroes are also human beings, and they need the understanding of others, and they can't help but find someone to talk to. Lei Zhen, the only person who has nothing to do with Xie Jinyuan, has become the most inappropriate person to talk to, but on the contrary, the most suitable person to confide in.

After saying these words, Xie Jinyuan gently exhaled a sullen breath in his chest as if he had removed a boulder from his body. Feeling a burst of irrepressible fatigue and sleepiness constantly rushing into his brain, his eyelids became heavier and heavier, and he didn't know when, Xie Jinyuan fell asleep. Only Lei Zhen was left with a pair of black and shiny eyes, looking at the ceiling above his head, thinking silently about something.

The ward finally fell into the usual silence, until it was already dark and even the scene outside the window began to become hazy, Ling Weicheng returned to the ward with a backpack on his back, covered in dust and exhaustion.

She silently spread out a straw mat in a corner of the ward, plus a thin blanket and a soldier's back, and made the most humble resting place for herself. Then in front of Xie Jinyuan and Lei Zhen, she actually took out a pot and some condiments from her backpack.

"I've already said hello to the master in the hospital cafeteria," Ling Weicheng looked at Xie Jinyuan, who had slept and was already in much better spirits, and said softly: "I help them do odd jobs in the kitchen every day, and they borrow me the stove in the kitchen." The food in the canteen is very expensive, the taste is not good, and the nutrition is not guaranteed, so I should cook for you every day. ”

Without waiting for Xie Jinyuan to answer, Ling Weicheng put a few books, a stack of letter paper, a few pens, and a piece of chess, plus a few catties of fruit that she didn't know where she found it, on the bedside table in Xie Jinyuan's hand, and then walked out of the ward with the pot...... She should go to the hospital's cafeteria to help, and then prepare dinner for Xie Jinyuan and Lei Zhen.

Staring at Ling Weicheng's disappearing direction, after a long time, Xie Jinyuan barely turned around, he suddenly squeezed out a smile at Lei Zhen, and said, "It seems that the two of us will be nesting in this ward for quite a long time, can you play chess?" ”

"I'm only going to play 'wolves eat sheep.'"

"Wolves eat sheep?" Xie Jinyuan recalled that when he was in the countryside, he and his friends used a dozen small stones, plus the crossing lines drawn on the soil with tree branches, and put out the simplest chess, he couldn't help laughing, "In this world, there are not only wolves and sheep, but the real chess game will not be so simple." Someone once said that the chess game is the battlefield, and the people sitting on both sides of the chessboard are the two commanders who are strategizing. The rules are simple, and I'm sure you'll learn it as soon as you learn it. ”

Xie Jinyuan moved a chair and sat on the side of Lei Zhen's bed, and when he poured out all the chess pieces in the box, Lei Zhen couldn't help frowning. Don't say it's the rules of chess, Lei Zhen doesn't know any of the words on these chess pieces.

Xie Jinyuan picked out the two pieces of "general" and "handsome" from the chess pieces, and said: "Our two chess pieces represent you and me as the two supreme commanders on the battlefield, of course, you can also see them as heroes on the two battlefields who can lead everyone to success." They are the most important souls on the battlefield, and no matter what the cost, they must protect their commanders. Because no matter what kind of partial victories you achieve on the battlefield, once the commander is eliminated, you will be completely wiped out and cleared from this battlefield. ”

"These two heroes of ours have their own limitations."

Xie Jinyuan stretched out his hand and pointed to the small space at the bottom of their respective chessboards, and said, "They can only move within this limited area, and they must not cross the boundary." In order to protect them, we also have two 'soldiers', on this chessboard, playing the role of personal bodyguards, these two 'soldiers' are limited by heroes, so they can only operate in this small area. The ultimate meaning of their existence is to use their lives to protect the boss from the enemy's attack. ”

Lei Zhen's brows furrowed again, he looked at the two chess pieces of "general" and "handsome" that Xie Jinyuan had placed on the chessboard, facing each other from afar, and then looked at the two "soldiers" who were tightly guarding the general, and after a while, he suddenly said: "I don't like such heroes!" ”

"Do you think that they all have to hide behind, can't charge into battle, can't kill the enemy in person, and have to be closely protected, without a bit of manhood, they don't deserve to be heroes at all, right?"

Seeing Lei Zhen nodding vigorously, Xie Jinyuan smiled, he really smiled.

Xie Jinyuan turned back from the bedside table, found paper and pen, in the middle of the letter, first drew a small circle, and then around this circle, he kept drawing larger and larger circles, until the last circle, the top reached the edge of this letter.

"Before I explain this picture I made, I want to ask you a question." Xie Jinyuan stared at Lei Zhen, his eyes flashed with a deep tunnel, with the light of wisdom, he smiled and asked, "Do you think that in this world, there are many people who are not afraid of death, or are there many people who are afraid of death?" ”

"I don't know if there are many people who are not afraid of death." Lei Zhen said calmly: "At least I'm afraid of death." ”

"Yes, staying away from danger and avoiding death is the original surname of living beings. If we were not afraid of death, or even liked death, we creatures like 'humans' would have been extinct a long time ago. Xie Jinyuan said: "But have you noticed that the subordinates I brought are all very brave and seem to be not afraid of death?" In the same way, is our opponent, the soldier also very brave, very brave and not afraid of death? ”

Lei Zhen nodded, the soldiers led by Xie Jinyuan, just by virtue of the fact that they held on to the Sixing Warehouse and even regarded the battlefield as their own grave, it can be determined that they are indeed not afraid of death. And no matter who you are, who meets the soldiers on the battlefield in a narrow way, how many people are not shocked by the murderous aura on their bodies and the madness of becoming benevolent if they don't succeed?!

"It is said that the soldiers are not afraid of death, and that is the result of their social system and long-term education. After the Meiji Restoration, the emperor's power has been hollowed out, but it still has a strong appeal in the hearts of the general public. In their eyes, allegiance to the emperor was their greatest honor. It was with this foundation, coupled with the inculcation and baptism of the bushido spirit, that a consensus was finally formed in the army that "defeat is unforgivable." In such an environment, personal emotions become insignificant, others are not afraid of death, insist on not retreating on the battlefield, although death does not surrender, then even if someone wants to surrender, wants to be afraid of death, wants to drop the weapon in his hand and escapes, there is no chance, can only be in the baptism of blood and war, let themselves become as crazy as a beast! ”

"On the contrary, if everyone is about to collapse on the battlefield, and they start to run around before they have fired a few shots, even if there are a considerable number of people in this army, who have a strong battle **, and want to fight to the death with the enemy, they will be involuntarily swept into the torrent of escape, and eventually all the courage and will will be wiped out little by little in this torrent."

"As for the troops I lead, frankly speaking, if they are allowed to choose independently, I am afraid that the vast majority of people will not follow me into the Sixing Warehouse."

Xie Jinyuan stretched out his hand and pointed to the core circle he had drawn on the letterhead, and said in a deep voice: "In a unit, the supreme commander is their soul, and the commander's thoughts and consciousness determine the team spirit and cultural heritage of his own army and team. If the commander is brave and has strong willpower, then under his leadership and command, the whole army will become strong. It's like an old folk saying, under the leadership of a lion, even a group of sheep can defeat a group of lions led by a sheep. ”

Xie Jinyuan emphasized: "A person is only an individual in the group, and sooner or later he will be affected and changed by the atmosphere of the group. As long as this commander keeps emphasizing that sacrificing his life for the country and the people is great, glorious, and an unavoidable duty of soldiers, even if they are still afraid of death, even if they are still unwilling in their hearts, but under the influence of the group, when necessary, they will still withstand the enemy's machine-gun strafing and heavy artillery repeated bombardment, and keep rushing forward. When they give up hope of survival and start fighting with their lives and death, they are veterans who really see through life and death. And these veterans will not only teach the survival skills on the battlefield to those soldiers who are newly added to the army, but also pass on the philosophy of life that they have understood to each recruit. This is what we often say, the soul of a soldier! ”

Lei Zhen nodded repeatedly, and his breathing suddenly became a little rapid. Because Lei Zhen suddenly found that in front of this chessboard that had not yet been placed, in the circles drawn by hand on the letterhead, and in the seemingly casual chatting exchanges, Xie Jinyuan seemed to have unfolded a great field in front of his eyes that Lei Zhen had never touched before, but indeed had terrifying power!

Although Xie Jinyuan has tried his best to speak it in an easy-to-understand manner, the difference in culture and experience between the two people is destined to make Lei Zhen barely understand Sancheng, but just this Sancheng has made Lei Zhen's eyes slowly light up with a fire-like light.

"But do you know why I drew so many circles on this piece of paper?"

Of course Lei Zhen didn't know.

"I am a regiment commander, there is a battalion commander under me, there is a company commander under the battalion commander, there is a platoon commander under the company commander, there is a squad leader under the platoon commander, and the squad leader's subordinates are the grassroots and the real group that forms the atmosphere of the whole team...... Ordinary soldiers. ”

Xie Jinyuan said indifferently: "This kind of hierarchy in the army is to allow us, the commanders, to free our hands and minds, and leave the tedious things to the people below to do. It is precisely because of this hierarchical division that we, the commanders, have a considerable distance from the soldiers below. This distance is fatal, because it often prevents our directives and spirits from reaching and carrying out smoothly. ”

"You take a closer look at these circles I have drawn," Xie Jinyuan held up the letter paper, stretched out his hand and pointed to the circle, the layers of lone lines, and said in a deep voice: "This picture represents the influence of me, as a commander, on the grassroots soldiers." The most influenced by me is the battalion commander under me, followed by the company commander, as the official position continues to decrease, the number continues to increase, my influence will continue to weaken because of the distance. In other words, the further we go, the weaker our team cohesion will be. ”

"...... in this case"

Facing Lei Zhen's eyes that were getting brighter and brighter, Xie Jinyuan said casually: "I want to establish a command system with the same values, I want to influence the battalion commander and company commander myself, they will influence the platoon commander and squad leader below, and finally the squad leader will influence every soldier under him." As long as such a channel is established, this army of ours will form an inseparable and indestructible whole! ”

Reaching out and tapping at the chess piece engraved with the word "will" on the chessboard, Xie Jinyuan asked with a smile: "Now do you still think that they are very hateful and annoying because they can't charge into battle in person?" ”

(To be continued)