I used to think that I was a time-traveler, from one world to another, compared to everyone in this time and space, there is a distance between us in time and space, which is an insurmountable distance, so I can ignore all the lives here, because I have nothing to do with them, my parents, my wife and children, my friends, are all fake, all of them are fake, and if I lose my blood love, there is not much room left for these relatives who are not relatives, so I have never accepted them from the bottom of my heart.

Yue He, Yue Ma, Yue Fei, I never really accepted them, I regarded them as passers-by, I regarded them as a part of my life, I was done, it was gone, I had suffered too many injuries, I was afraid of these injuries, I was afraid of the pain of losing my loved ones, I tried once, no, twice, and then I swore that I would never try this pain again.

I closed my heart tightly, I don't want to taste such pain again, I don't want to be so painful that I can't help myself, I even have the idea of death, I think, I seek, I frantically look for such a way, and then I find, why do feelings arise? Because there are too many entanglements, every moment and every minute and every second experienced together, it has become a support strip that supports the inextricable threads of feelings, and nothing can completely destroy these.

I don't want this, I don't want this! I'm afraid of this, I'm afraid of this, I'm afraid of being invaded by such pain again, once is enough to kill me, twice is enough to make me fall into hell, I don't want a third time, I don't want a third time anyway!

I retreat, I run away, I cringe, just because I don't want anything, I feel that if I don't want to, if I don't accept it, I won't be hurt in one way or another, I know, I may be lying to myself, but even so, it is okay for me to live in a false world, as long as there is no harm in this world, no pain, even if you tell me that it is just a dream, I am willing to sleep forever and never wake up.

The biggest weakness of human beings is feelings, because the feelings generated by bonds, the thicker they are, the more painful they are after loss, there is no pain that can compare to this pain, I am afraid, I am really afraid, so I choose not to have bonds, I choose to avoid these, whoever wants to have a bond with me, I will avoid him, who wants to go further with me, I also avoid him, as long as I can avoid him, I can no longer be bound by these bonds, I will not feel pain, even if it is a complete loss.

Because I never had.

Then I found out that I was wrong, I was very wrong, I asked God more than once, why did I have to borrow the corpse to return to the Great Song Dynasty after I died, why didn't I die simply, but a bowl of Meng Po soup on the bridge made me forget everything in this world, if God really exists, I really want to ask him, why, why let me live so painfully, what is the meaning of my life?

I looked around and saw the constant invasion of the thick darkness of despair, I could not see hope, I could not see the light, I could not see anything that would give me hope, I only saw the despair that pervaded this land, before the end of the world, this land was still sleeping, still dreaming, I could not see anything worthy of my hope.

The end is coming, this land is full of the tide of escape and escape, they go south without accident, go south vigorously, go south without any cause and doubt, they just want to live, only think about their everything, from the emperor to the commoners, they just want to escape, just want to live.

Then, I saw a ray of light, I saw Li Gang unswerving, I saw Uncle Zhang fighting north at night, I saw the Western Army bravely going to the country, and I saw soldiers dying for the country! I hear their unyielding roar! I see their indomitable form! I saw their unyielding fight! I behold their indomitable souls!

Then, I suddenly felt, as if for a moment, a voice in my heart told me that I could not go on like this, that I should rise up and resist, carry the banner of resistance, and call on those who still have courage in this country to resist together, I don't know why this voice came about, but at that moment, I was almost about to do it.

I realized that I have two selves in my heart, they have been fighting, they have been fighting, they have been telling me their opinions over and over again, they have been asking me to obey their will, are they me, or am I me? Or are we all me?

I had no time to think about these questions, for I became more and more frightened, more and more panicked, and felt more and more that the end had come, that the Jin army had gone south, that the Song army had been defeated, that Tokyo had been besieged, that the imperial family had been destroyed, and that the nation had been humiliated...... Am I okay with all this? I think it's okay, because I'm not a Song person at all, I'm not a person from this era, I'm not a person from this world, I'm just a bystander, a traveler......

But...... But......

Why do I have heartache? Why am I crying? Why am I so entangled? Why do I have the urge to rush out and fight to the death? Can anyone tell me why? I'm obviously not from the Song Dynasty, I'm obviously not from this world, I'm just a traveler from an unknown place, I don't know if this stop is the focus or the next stop, or if there is no end at all......

So why do I want to fight to the death? Is it just, just my delusion?

I really...... It's true...... It's really okay to turn a blind eye to all of this...... Can you really watch Shenzhou Lu Shen sink...... Is it really possible to watch this endless tragedy happen again without doing anything?

Everybody's looking at me, everybody's looking at me, I know what they mean, I know what I mean, so I said to the people around me, I just want you guys to live, I just want everybody to live, I can't bring you glory, but at least, I can keep you all alive! I can keep you all alive! Isn't life the most precious thing a person has?!

And then they told me.

"Rokuro, life is not the most important thing for the last general."

"If life is the most important thing, then the last general will not come here at all and follow Rokuro."

"Rokuro's intention is to understand, but if the husband lives for a lifetime, there will always be something more important than his life to pursue."

"If you just live for your life, then the books you read below should be wrong."

"When a husband lives in the world, he should always have some ideas and goals that are more important than his life, and for this goal, the last general followed Rokuro."

"If you were afraid of death, the last general would not have followed Rokuro south to fight Fang La."

"I really regret my life below, but I think that in this world, there are always some things that can make you give up your life."

"If the last general's life can be exchanged for the lives of thousands of people, it is too worthwhile, not to mention that the last general will die fighting for the country, not a life of prolonging life."

"Life is indeed very important, but the last general thinks that in this world, there are always things that are more important than life, and if it is for these things, then it is not a pity to lose one's life."

"Fighting to the death, throwing pen to paper, if it is just to live better, it is too despicable to be below."

"Although I am afraid of death, I am even more afraid of the death of the nest."

"If you go here, you will definitely die, but you can leave your name in history and live for a hundred years, and you will die without regrets."

"The sword in the hands of the last general does not only exist to save his life."

"Blood-stained battlefield, horse leather shroud, this is the long-cherished wish of the last general for many years, especially on the battlefield of fighting for the country!"

I'm not afraid of death! I am afraid of dying in obscurity! I am afraid of death!

If you die, you must be vigorous, and you must be magnificent! Let all living beings in heaven and earth know why we are dying! Let everyone know that we are dying in battle, and none of us are cowards! We are all heroes! Even if the whole world is fleeing south, and we still have to go upstream, to the north, to the north to pursue the ideals in our hearts, and to strengthen the beliefs in our hearts, this is definitely not comparable to the lives of mere people!

Although we cherish our lives, we also know when to spare our lives and when not to spare our lives, and in this life, if we are for the country, we will have nothing to fear! If you can die for the country and die for the righteousness, although you will die nine times, we will never regret it!

If you go, you will die! Die face north! Die for the country!

A room of people clenched their fists and saluted Yue Flip, at that moment, the sun shone on the earth, the whole room was bright, and the light that came in from nowhere shone on Yue Flip's body, warm, seemed to dispel all the coldness on Yue Flip's body and heart, and each of their faces was full of unchangeable firmness and courage, and together with the sunshine, completely dispelled the last haze entrenched in Yue Flip's heart.

How many years have you not enjoyed the sun like this?

The smell of sunshine, do I remember? The smell of sunshine, is that so?

The light and hope I longed for, is that it?

Is that the warmth I'm looking for?

Master, is that what you are after?

Saburo, is the same for what you are after?

Is that what I have been pursuing, that little longing that I have never understood, that fatal longing, that is?

Even if I die, even if I lose my second life, even if I lose what I cherish most, even if I face my most feared enemy, even if I face everything I fear the most, can I no longer be afraid? Even if all the people are dead and I am the only one left, can I continue to fight until I die?

I understand.

Looking at the throbbing brilliance in his palm, Yue Flip held it tightly! Let it melt into your own flesh!