Am I a coward? Am I a coward?

Right! I'm a coward! I'm a coward! So what? Who isn't timid? Who is not timid when confronted with a powerful enemy? Knowing that his strength is not as good as others, who is not timid?! Is there one in 10,000 people like Li Gang? I'm just an ordinary person, like all ordinary people, I don't want to be rich and rich, I just want to live a safe life, is this wrong? Is there something wrong with that? If that's wrong, it's not me, it's the world!

What if I'm a coward? Am I not good enough? Jiqian Erzhou was hell on earth before I came, and heaven on earth after I came, I killed the mountain bandits, set up a no-shot bell, and implemented the method of casting non-ejection, so that the atmosphere of Jiqian Erzhou was clear, and millions of living beings could live and work in peace and contentment, Yonghe Town is now the richest and most peaceful place in the entire Jiangnan South Road, this is my political achievement! If it weren't for me, when Yue Fei led the army here more than ten years later, I don't know how many people would die!

Am I not good enough? Am I, the pacification envoy, and I, the Zhizhou, not competent enough?! Have I ever embezzled money? Has there ever been malfeasance? Did I do something unconscionable? Did I do something outrageous? All I do is good! All good things! I have countless living people, how many people I have food and clothing, how many people I have given land and houses, they have set up shrines for me in their own homes, hung my portraits in their homes, and treated me like a god, have I done a bad job? Isn't it good?!

Who are you to rebuke me and mock me? You said! Where do you say I'm wrong?! Where did I go wrong!? Did I write the wrong words? Did I draw wrong? Did I make a mistake? Am I wrong in connecting three yuan? I'm already famous, am I wrong? Am I wrong? Do you say that the eyes of the people are bright? Are they the most impartial judges? Since yes, then why are you still saying I'm wrong?

What's wrong with being cowardly!? Who says I can't be timid? Did I make a mistake because I was cowardly? Am I derelict in my duties because of my cowardice? Am I angry because of my cowardice? Timidity is a right that everyone should have! In this life, who has never been cowardly! Who doesn't?!

Yue turned over and roared hoarsely, grabbed his head, grabbed it tightly, he couldn't see who was talking to him, he didn't know who was talking to him, but he clearly heard that kind of mocking voice, that was mockery, that was Chiguoguo's mockery, looking down on, contemptuous, contempt......

"Doesn't that mean you're running away? No one knows the future better than you, no one knows better than you where this country and this nation will go because of this matter, you know, you know everything back and forth, but you don't say anything, you don't do anything, you just intend to be a spectator, watching the tragic death of your compatriots, watching your country fall, watching your nation degenerate, aren't you wrong? ”

"I'm not a hero! It's not something I'm supposed to do! I can't save them! Is it my fault that they have come to this point? Am I responsible for all this? Or am I dominating it all? I asked Zhao Ji to unite with the Jurchens? I asked Zhang Ying to commit suicide? I let the Planter be defeated? I made Pharmacist Guo surrender? Am I responsible for all this? You tell me! Did I cause all this?!

Even if I say it, so what? Will they listen to me? Will do what I say? If I let them let go of the hands and feet of the army, they will let go? If I ask them to unite the Liao State against the Jurchens, they will comply? I asked Zhao Ji not to toss Hua Shigang, and he would listen to me? If I ask him to kill the six thieves, he will listen to me?! If I ask the Jurchens to hand over the Sixteen Prefectures of Yanyun, they will listen to me? I told the Jurchens not to go south, and they would listen to me?

What did you take me for? Long Aotian? Zhao Ritian? Liu Shuxian? Or is it Li Killing God?!

I'm nobody! I am myself! I'm Yue Flip!

I am an eighteen-year-old young man, in modern times, I am just a college student, I am just an ordinary person, in the Great Song Dynasty, I may be a slightly stronger official than ordinary people, but I still belong to the ranks of ordinary people, what do you take me for? Superheroes? Superman? Is a breath a tornado or a wave of a hand is a magnitude 10 earthquake? They bear their own sins! The thief has done so many evils, does he still have to reverse black and white at this point?! Do I have to bear all this?!

I don't care who you are, I tell you, I won't go north, I won't save them, I won't turn the tide, I won't be a hero, I can't be a hero, the Jurchens have 100,000 iron horsemen, I only have 30,000 foot soldiers, they have 500,000 horses, I only have 1,000, they have strong combat power and reinforcements, I only have myself, do you think if I go north, there will be reinforcements to save me? Come and fight with me? You're thinking too much, too much! Those bastards didn't come to drag me back and sell me, thank God, and expect them to save me?

Zong Ze is a hero, then he was angry, Li Gang was a hero, then he was tired to death, Yue Fei was a hero, and then he was unjustly killed, and now I have to fill in my Yue Tuo is a hero, and then he was abandoned by his colleagues outside Tokyo, and died in a tragic battle, isn't it? Isn't it? I'm telling you! I won't! Why do you want me to be a hero, why do I want to die, why do I die instead of them? You tell me, am I damned? Should I die? What a mistake I made! What iniquity have you done? You want me to die?! ”

"You don't deserve to die, but if you just want to live, then you're no different from dead, Li Gang deserves to die? Does Zong Ze deserve to die? Does Yue Fei deserve to die? ”

"They don't deserve to die, but if they are willing to die, am I going to die? Why?! Why! ”

"Because you know all this, you are the only person in this era, this world, this world, this time and space who knows all this, no one knows except you, you know all this, of course you also know how to prevent it from happening, you just don't want to, don't dare, don't want to give up your life to dedicate to everyone, indeed, you have no obligation to give, but only you can do all this."

"What can I do? What do you think I can do? Fighting with the Golden Soldiers? 30,000 to destroy them 300,000? After killing Yan Zongwang, after Yan Zongbi, he took the Northern Expedition to recover the sixteen states of Yanyun, and then cut down Yan Wu to buy and destroy the Jin Kingdom? Why don't you go and ask Huo Quai, ask Wei Qing, ask Cao Cao, ask Guan Yu, ask Zhang Liao, ask Chen Qingzhi, ask Liu Yu, you ask them, give them such conditions and such enemies, can they do it? And then you think I'm stronger than them, don't you? ”

"It's true that they may not be able to do it, and you are not necessarily weaker than them, but there is only one point, I must say, although they may not be able to do it, but they dare, they dare to fight to the death, and you, don't dare."

Yue Fan was silent for a long, long time before he spoke: "Yes, so, they are heroes, I'm not, I can't turn the tide, so I don't have the courage to die, but so what, is God destined for me to die?" I died once, and after I woke up, I found that I had come to the Great Song, and then I had to die again, is there another chance to wake up? ”

"I don't know, no one knows, I just know, what's right and what's wrong."

Yue lowered his head and sneered: "Right? Wrong? Hehehe, are you a child? Children are right and wrong, and when they grow up, they have to learn to distinguish everything in the world by pros and cons, right? I am an adult, it is good for me to live, and it is not good for me to die, so I choose to live, I will not die. ”

"You are yourself, you are not anyone, no one can dictate your mind, how you act, is your own business, how you look at everything in the world, is your own business, I only know right and wrong, I don't know the pros and cons, and I also know that in the hearts of those heroes, right and wrong and pros and cons are the same, so they will die generously, and you, no, maybe one day you will understand all this, I hope it is not too late."

Yue Flip raised his head and looked at the roof of his room, there was no other sound in his ears, he sat slumped in his chair, like a wasted man, like a poor worm, sad, ridiculous, lamentable......

Uncle Zhang dotted his bags at night, since Yue Chuan shouted at him three days ago that sentence "Without my warrant, you can't mobilize a single soldier", he was completely dead to Yue Tuo, he only felt that he and Zhang Ying were blind, looking at the wrong person, he also felt that Yue Flip would be the pillar of the country, and would impassionedly take 30,000 elites north to Tokyo to fight the humiliation of the country, but his hopeful waiting was only exchanged for that roar, as well as his own physical discomfort, need to recuperate, and the main force is suppressing bandits, difficult to pull out the excuse.

Zhang Shuye didn't want to fight for power and profit with Yue Tuo, there was no point at this time, and there was not enough time, he needed enough time to recruit troops, he received a summons from the imperial court, so that he led the elite soldiers of the six roads in Jiangnan to the north of Qinwang, of course, including the Yue Flip Department of the South Jiangnan Road, before Yue Flip, his summoning order for the five ways to pacify the envoy was sunk into the sea, Yue Flip was his last hope, and the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment, he knew that in the whole Jiangnan, Yue Flip's Jizhou soldiers were the most elite.

He took his two sons, left Jiangnan South Road in the starry night, left Jizhou, left Luling City, he went to the place where he started, where by the sea, many Jian'er, he wanted to be there, with his own prestige to recruit troops and horses, build an army, go north to King Qin, he didn't know if he had time to gather the army, he didn't know if he arrived with the army, what he saw was a pile of ruins.

He hated Yue Zhuan, hated him deeply, and wanted to slash him!

But he couldn't do it, of course he couldn't do it, the elite warriors around Yue Flip stared at him deadly, protecting Yue Flip, Yue Flip just watched Uncle Zhang leave with a cold eye, completely broke with Uncle Zhang, the national disaster was at the head, Uncle Zhang did not fight with Yue Turn, but accelerated the pace of King Qin in the north, of course, after Zhao Huan issued King Qin's order, there were still many troops marching towards Tokyo, he believed that there would not be only one army of his own army to Tokyo, the world is so big, there will still be loyal people!

There will definitely be!