Over the years, whether it was his personality or status, Nikolai had long been accustomed to not revealing his emotions. There are no pop-up windows on the net, and he is expressionless and insists on drinking this untimely night tea with the attendants who have been accompanying him, and then Voyeikov and Nilov come to see him.

At last, when it was all over, there was not a trace of anger on his face, like a dead man, his eyes, cheeks, and lips were incapacitated, yes, in the middle of the night, he was old, much older.

At last, the people noticed his strangeness, and they all stepped out of his carriage, and Nikolai entered his bedroom, and almost as soon as he entered it, his mood was immediately lightened: there was no light in the bedroom, and there was no need to light it, and the courtier had already thought of doing it.

Usually, Nikolai would light the lamp himself whenever he wanted to. But today, the courtiers ordered it in advance, did he feel the need to do this, or did he understand the Tsar's feelings?

So in this "safe private space", Nikolai immediately entered this warm and hazy environment, and saw only the blue light of the magic lamp, the gently dancing spear-like sparks, and the ever-mysterious face of Jesus, a combination of stern and merciful. The Savior holds the Bible that has been opened for people in one hand, and although it is open, all people can read and grasp is the small print on it.

In the end, Nikolai casually closed the door, completely separating himself from everyone, from everyone, leaving only himself and him.

At this time, Nikolai, who was alone in the bedroom, had a very complicated mood, he felt happiness and pain at the same time, and he wanted to completely relax and cry well.

He was in a very complicated mood, and finally at the moment of closing, he sat down on his bed as if he had been cut off, and fell sideways with one elbow propped forward, and really cried, like a child who had been greatly wronged.

Everything he could not say to anyone; everything that failed to materialize; Everything that had not had time to be corrected - all of this was now vented through crying.

Alex is the only one in the world who can understand him. Although he is blamed for perfection, he is sometimes blamed. But the only one who knew him best was the Messiah, Jesus.

We can't guess the Savior, but He understands us right away. It is understood as if a person has been dissected, and in every way - what has been done, what has been thought, and even what has been neglected. Because of this moment of full understanding, you will feel like a child. It's a weakling, but someone cares for you.

Right next to God, the abdicated tsar cried and cried. All the grievances that have not been spit out; the pain that arises from one's own clumsiness; All sorrows that have nowhere to be discharged; And all his fears were vented, and his mood was lightened.

When he wept bitterly, when he knelt before the icon again to pray. Nikolai's mood was lighter.

The floor trembled under his knees. He didn't even notice when the train was moving.

After a while, after the prayer was over, Nikolai cried less violently. Suddenly, it was as if a cold whirlwind blew over and hit the walls of the carriages on both sides. Did the wind blow from outside the carriage, or from inside him? Is this wind the day of judgment, or the end of the world? The stinging, icy blow made Nikolai shiver. Then the wind blew over. But this was repeated several times.

Could it be that the demon has escaped?

The demon is refusing to pray.

Nicholas, as the Tsar of the Russian Empire and also the supreme religious leader, knew many prayers. There are a lot of things he can memorize. There are prayers of supplication and thanksgiving. He's quietly reciting a lot now. In this rhythmic repetition, he pondered certain phrases, but inadvertently passed by others, and his mood became calmer and calmer as he prayed continuously. He felt relieved in God's presence. Because he understands. Everything is as it should be, and it is up to God's will to decide. God's plan doesn't require you to suffer too much. …,

When his heart was full of prayers, but the thoughts that had not been prayed for began to come back to him, his heart was calm, and then completely calm, which was a sign that the prayer was over.

When the prayer was over, Nikolai stood up again, sat down on the bed, and listened attentively to the even crash of the wheels. how many times he traveled along the railroad by car; How many times he read to the sound of this wonderful crash; How many times have I woken up from my slumber with this voice; How many times did he stare out the window and take notes.

But he just didn't have a premonition that it was on the train, on the special train on which he had taken countless times, that he would end his imperial career, not because of death. It's weird, the order should be to end life first. But you see, the emperor's career is over, but he survives.

Why is that?......

He sat there, not lying down, not undressing, unaware that the night was dark. He turned sideways at the magic lamp, and with the shaking of the train, accompanied by the gentle crashing sound, all kinds of thoughts rushed into his mind. A voice sounded, as if his enemies were there gloating:

"Your Majesty, all the struggles for you are in vain."

But how can you say that?

The struggle, even the struggle that had not yet begun, became impossible. Because everything is tightly tangled and cannot be rearranged.

For Nikolai, who was only 49 years old, he was completely healthy and seemed to be full of energy, but surprisingly, at this time he did not feel any strength to fight for the throne......

You can't fight for everything, and you can't fight anytime and anywhere. It is much more important for the rapprochement and goodwill of the whole population to be formed in Russia. It seems to be in the way - he, because of him, has never been at peace. Well, he'll leave now. He made all the concessions so as not to provoke a domestic strife.

As long as Russia can be kept.

In fact, Nikolai never aspired to power, and even this Tsar was not what he wanted, and even after learning of his father's death, he was also terrified about the throne he was about to inherit, because it was not what he wanted, and if he could, he would rather give up the throne to someone else. But......

Now, when it is time to really give up this throne and give it to someone else. Why are you so distressed? Isn't that a relief?

I abdicated for the sake of the future of Russia, for the sake of ...... As long as Russia can be kept! It was the right decision.

We'll see what happens to them. Their...... What will happen. May God bless them, even though Nikolai did not find any better among them than the unsuccessful ministers he appointed.

Of all the Duma chairmen who have met the tsar, let's put it this way. In addition to Khomyakov, Guchkov was once the most popular in the heart of the tsar: he loved Russia, there is no doubt about it, he was a smart man, and he was an outstanding talent. Guchkov's first appearance was during the Russo-Japanese War. Both Nikolai and Alex fell in love with him. At that time, they received him very warmly and had a long conversation. There was no premonition that he would become such a vicious enemy.

This is a shameless person.

He couldn't wait to see his confused and helpless appearance today, and wanted to take pleasure in it.

Look at his arrogant teacher-like demeanor, and say: Go and pray!

These words came from the mouth of a man who had forgotten how to pray. He's still an Old Churchman......

In fact, over the years, Nikolai has had many opportunities to take revenge on him, but there has been no revenge.

But now, Nikolai is still grateful to him. After all, let him go to the base camp. But Nikolai wanted to go to Tsarskoye Village more. It's back to his family, and at this time, he urgently needs to enlist Alex's support! But there were still things he needed to solve at that time, and he also needed strength and courage. Now, as soon as he abdicated, there was no struggle and no task. After twenty-two years of responsibility, he was not used to carrying a heavy burden on his shoulders. I can't believe it's so easy. …,

In his mind, the pointer that marked the direction had changed.

Family. Two parliamentarians assured their safety. Now, besides with his family, who else can Nikolai spend his life with? As for the base camp, he will never see his base camp again. He can only say goodbye to the base camp now, before his uncle Nikolasha arrives, and spend the last few days with this enlarged, brave family.

What a catastrophe: there was a time when Nikolai dreamed and loved only one destiny - not only to be a tsar, but also to be a commander-in-chief, the leader of the army. the godfather of all military men; He did not want to take part in the Russo-Japanese War, nor was he sure when the war with Germany would begin, but he tried his best to seize the supreme command, and finally took it from Nikolasha, but all this was ultimately for one purpose - to return it to him once again.

It's fate!

In the depths of his heart, Nikolai has always loved the military very much! In his eyes, he felt that he was such a soldier! He often put himself in the position of these brave, unpretentious, and intelligent people. Isn't he also devoted to his family? But if God sets before him two destinies of life, and one must be chosen: either marry Alex and have the family and Alexey today, but never wear a military uniform. Either be a soldier, a general, even just a colonel, or even, whatever military rank, but never get married.

There is no doubt that he will choose the latter as well.

The will of a man, the courage to die for the sake of freedom, the challenge of death in accordance with the spirit of a soldier - this is the highest spirit that Nikolai has always admired. This spirit will give the dying person a sense of otherworldly lightness.

Really, he needs to go to the base camp now, like he needs to breathe, or he will die instantly.

He has been a tsar for 22 years, and how many brave and excellent officers he has met and seen at military parades and banquets during inspections and exercises! Taken together, these people are enough to make up a people worthy of his leadership.

So where are they all now?

Where did they gleefully chant "Ula"?

Where did they draw their sabers and swear to God?

Why didn't their team come to his back?

Why didn't he come to defend his throne?

There are many people who have died, many people have died, may God accept them, but there are still many people who are still alive!

But now, when their tsar was forced to abdicate, where were they?

All fled and hid; Some stayed in the trenches, observing with binoculars, and some lay in hospitals. Everyone hid, but the five commanders-in-chief were highlighted. None of them reached out to help, and all five of them urged him to abdicate - step aside!

He no longer felt bitter that the Cadets, revolutionaries, the people of the cities and the local self-government, and the upper classes hated him. Because in turn, he didn't pay attention to them.

But these closest people - high-ranking military officers.

These should be the most defended...... But in the end, what did they do?

The thought of what they had done, this unprecedented betrayal and the blow that came with it, really made him lose his soul. It's more sad.

Tears choked his throat again, and finally burst out of his eyes.

Finally, while tears were sliding down, Nikolai remembered his diary. No matter what happens, even on the day of the defeat in the Tsushima Strait. He didn't interrupt the diary either.

The parchment-covered diary remained in its place, and in the open desk drawer, Nikolai could easily touch it with his eyes closed. A lamp should be lit, even if it's a bedside lamp. But even now his eyes can't withstand the blow.

At this time, we arrived at a small station, and the curtained train stopped in silence, as if it were in the dark. …,

Nikolai opened the journal to the place where the bookmarks were kept, and tried to get as close as possible to the magic lamp. He tried to see the meaning of the words at the end of the diary and at the end of the day: he—agreed. Also, a draft of the abdication edict was sent from the base camp.

That's it. He held out his left hand to hold the open journal. In the light of the magic lamp, he wrote with a tap fountain pen. With his eyes, he could only see the pages of the notebook, and the words were mainly written from memory.

"In the evening Guchkov and Shuligin came from Petrograd, I held talks with them and handed them the revised and signed edict. Left Pskov at one o'clock in the morning with a heavy heart. ”

That's all Nikolai wrote in his diary today. Neither one's own sorrow nor one's own prayers can be retracted from paper. And it doesn't make any sense either.

Finally, he closed the journal. But. The presence of the commanders-in-chief of those fronts and their letters meant betrayal, betrayal of their oath. The telegram that betrayed Nikolai's trust in them suddenly came to his mind like a piece of cotton full of poison, and this thing came so suddenly!

Their betrayal is so incomprehensible, so infuriating.

So he opened the journal again and added another line:

"All around me is betrayal and cowardice,"

He wanted to end again, but it didn't end, and the main sentence was:

“…… and deception. ”

Yes, they betrayed the oath, betrayed him, betrayed Russia! Finally, after venting his frustration and anger on paper, Nikolai calmed down again, and then he lay down on the bed, and his clothes were not taken off.

You can't sit all night.

Thinking about it, Nikolai began to undress. And when he was undressing, he remembered his royal brother Misha, which was still unprecedented, the first time! There were so many things tonight that his mind couldn't fit them, so much so that Misha didn't think of them, everyone thought of them, but they didn't think of Misha.

He is probably in the Hermitage now. It was there that the crown of the Russian Empire flew in the dark night sky, it was God's will. If you don't explain anything to him and don't show your attitude, maybe you will make him wonder.

Obviously, it was necessary to find a station to send a telegram.

Ah, Misha! My dear, lovely, dear brother at first, and a man of considerable courage, I know that for me you have some meaning, but everything is wrong in this marriage,-

At this point, it occurred to him that he had no approval of the similarities between him and this younger brother, when he married the Chinese lady! It seems that this is fate!

But what happened to the princess now?

Oh yes, his princess is now in China, thinking that Russia is vying for more aid.

There have been many differences with him, but they can be forgotten. But I can't forget to apologize: without prior notice, without even saying hello, I passed the throne to him. Send him a telegram tomorrow.

Thinking so in his heart, he made up his mind and took the matter out of his mind. However, the bitter longing for his mother spread in his heart. Yes, when we are helpless in our misfortunes, who will be above us?

Who will be beside us?

Perhaps, in the face of the impending long-term separation, the least hope for one person is to see each other. Tomorrow send her a telegram, and say:

"Please come to my lonely son, who has been abandoned by everyone......"

At this moment, when the words of the telegram came to his mind, Nikolai felt that he was a young, not very strong, and not yet strong child.

At this time, he was still lying there, although it was late at night, although he had never had a good rest in the past few days, but now, he still did not have a trace of sleepiness.

Maybe some more miracles will happen?

The god of hope that God will send to save all people?

And at this time, when this thought flashed through Nikolai's mind, everything on the train was shaking, everything was crashing into each other.

After this reflection and obedience to God's will, Nikolai gradually got rid of these sad and painful thoughts.

These thoughts slowly faded away, and everything in the world returned to balance.

In this world, a new life will begin tomorrow......