The 36th Ma Zhong Lu Bu punched the coalition kindergarten
As always, every time something was discussed, the princes of all roads bowed their heads.
Cao Cao swept the audience, got up and said: "Dong Zhuotun's soldiers are in a tiger prison, intercepting the middle of our princes, and half of today's troops are facing the enemy." ”
So Yuan Shao divided Wang Kuang, Qiao Mao, Bao Xin, Yuan Yi, Sun Rong, Zhang Yang, Tao Qian, Gongsun Zhan, and Liu Bei to meet the enemy at Tiger Pass. And Cao Cao led the army back and forth to rescue. The princes of the Nine Roads raised their own troops, and Hanoi guarded Wang Kuang and led the troops first. And Na Lu Bu took three thousand iron horsemen and galloped to meet him.
General Wang Kuang formed a formation, looked at the horse, and saw Lu Bu out of the battle!
I saw Lu Bu wearing a purple and gold crown with three-pronged hair, a Xichuan red brocade and a hundred flowers robe on his body, a beast-faced head-swallowing chain armor, a delicate lion belt around his waist, a bow and arrow, a halberd in his hand, and a red rabbit horse sitting down!
Wang Kuang said left and right: "Sure enough, it is - the red rabbit among the people, and the Lu Bu among the horses!"
The generals were embarrassed and dared not poke it.
Wang Kuang saw that there was silence around him, so he asked, "Who dares to fight?" If he wins, then Lu Bu'er's crotch plaything will belong to whom! ”
I saw an excited flash behind him, and he shot out with a gun. Wang Kuang regarded it as a famous general in Hanoi - Fang Yue.
Fang Yue stopped in front of Lu Bu: "Nima, you can think you are handsome."
I heard Lu Bu suddenly interject: "Ahhhh Then Fang Yue felt a little cold rush to his eyes, and after seeing that it was the Fang Tian Painting Halberd in Lu Bu's hand, his head had already been strung with a gourd!
Lu Bu maintained a chic posture, turned around and shouted to the soldiers behind him: "Hurry up and invite a painter!" Such a free and easy shape, you must leave a painting to remember! For a while, the morale of Lu Bu's whole army was high, and the applause was overwhelming!
Wang Kuang only knew that Fang Yue was dead, but he saw that Lu Bu was determined to stay where he was, and he couldn't understand the other party's routine for a long time, so the two armies were in a stalemate for several hours
Suddenly, an old man in the formation of Lu Bu's army put away his brush and shouted: "General! Draw - good - ! ”
As soon as Lu Bu heard that he had finally finished painting, he raised his right hand, and cut Fang Yue in half with the sharp side of Fang Tian's halberd, and then shouted at Wang Kuang's army opposite: "I'm coming!" The land is your boss, and your life is yours! Go home and collect your clothes! "Shout, the halberd rushes straight over!
When Wang Kuang's army saw that Fang Yue was split in half, they shouted:
"Oops! Bloody! ”
"Oops! Don't look at it under 18 years old! ”
"Oops! The intestines are hanging on the ground! ”
"Oops! That perverted murderer rushed over! ”
"Oops!"
"Oops! Run! ”
"Oops! Collect your clothes! ”
Wang Kuang was defeated and scattered in all directions. Lu Bu rushed to kill, as if entering a no-man's land. Fortunately, Qiao Mao and Yuan Yi both arrived to save Wang Kuang, and Lu Bufang retreated. The princes of the three roads, each folded some men and horses, and retreated thirty miles to the village.
Wang Kuang stumbled into the tent, like a psychopath, chattering endlessly, everyone asked each other before he spoke!
"Nima! Lu Bu is a pervert! A halberd explodes a chrysanthemum! A halberd explodes a chrysanthemum! A halberd explodes a chrysanthemum! There is wood, there is ah! There is wood! And most importantly, he'll also make a calculation! After killing my Fang Yue, it must have taken a lot of effort, so I rested in place like a mountain, and I didn't dare to fight at all! With such a strong combat power, I am afraid that no one can beat it! Wang Kuang actually cried out loud!
Everyone was anxious, and the soldiers rushed in: "Lu Bu greets the families of all the adults at the door, and also greets the eighteenth generation of the ancestors of all the adults by the way!" ”
Who can endure such arrogant behavior? The princes of the Nine Roads got on their horses together. The army was divided into nine teams and was distributed in Takaoka. Looking at Lu Bu's cluster of military horses from afar, he saw the embroidered flag beckoning, and he had already rushed to the battle!
Zhang Yang, the party guard, glanced at the general Mu Shun!
Mu Shun knelt down and begged for mercy: "Brother, you know, if I show off my legs with this bit of fancy boxing, I will also engage in women from good families!" That perverted murderer is not legally responsible for murder, how can I fight! It's just that Mu Shun didn't finish speaking, but he felt that there was a cold and sharp feeling at his neck, and he looked at it intently, Zhang Yang was already forced by a sharp sword!
"Lord, the young general thought about it again and again, and felt that Lu Butu had his appearance! Let's see how I get up and down with my hands and take down that little pussy! I saw that Mu Shun instantly looked righteous, patted his weapon and got on the horse to prepare for battle!
The man's back looks like this forever, but who knows that in front of him are tearful and shy flower faces?
At this moment, Mu Shun commemorated his whole family - that father, that mother, there, that daughter, that big house, second room, third room, fourth room, and rhubarb on the hotbed!
After that, go out and fight with guns!
But as soon as this Mu Shun arrived in front of Lu Bu, he was blown up by a halberd and his weak face was blown!
The real soldiers of the coalition army shouted one after another:
"Oops! Poked the mark! ”
"Oops! Bleeding! ”
"Oops! Dead! ”
"Oops! I don't know how to feel it! ”
"Oops! The top floor is up! ”
"Oops! Keep in line downstairs! ”
Beihai Taishou Kong Rong saw that the morale of the army was damaged, and immediately ordered the general Wu Anguo to make the hammer fly out.
Kong Rong said to the surrounding princes: "My family's Anguo name is domineering!" Wu Anguo, Wu Anguo, force can stabilize the country! ”
Gongsun Chan squinted and replied, "Are you a fool of everyone?" Your second-class general has only more than 300 troops, and your sister is about the same! ”
While he was talking, he saw Lu Bu swinging his halberd and cutting off An Youmei's wrist, only to see An Youmei abandon the hammer and walk away. Kong Rong saw that his little friend had suffered a big loss, so he hurriedly went out with the soldiers of the Ninth Route Army to save An Youmei. Lu Bu retreated again because there were too many enemy troops.
The princes returned to the village to discuss.
Cao Cao said to everyone: "Lu Bu is brave and invincible, but he can meet the princes of the Eighteen Roads to discuss good policies. If Lu Bu is captured, Dong Zhuo will be punished. ”
At this time, Liu Bei rushed in: "Report! Lu Bufu led troops to challenge. Said that he wanted to blow everyone's chrysanthemum alone! ”
Zhang Han hurriedly pulled Liu Bei to his side: "Big brother! What are you responsible for this kind of soy sauce retribution? You're an uncle! Anyway, he is also a member of the coalition this time, and it is too bad to lose his identity to do so! ”
Liu Bei blinked: "But since the start of the fight, I haven't done anything, don't you think it's boring?" ”
Zhang Han: "" was speechless, so he was ready to turn around and say a few words to Guan Guan and Feifei, so as to persuade Liu Bei not to lose his identity like this again.
"I'm a grass! How can you two eat hot pot! Zhang Han roared angrily.
Feifei raised his head, stuffed a piece of cooked meat into his mouth and sang: "Oops, it's a hot pot, I love to eat it!" (Please press the chicken wings~ I love to eat and hum for a while) Guan Guan handed a chicken wing to Liu Bei: "But you keep eating every day!" ”
Liu Bei took a big bite and sang along: "I'm afraid that if it is exploded, I won't have a chance to eat!" ”
The trio chorus: "So now I'm going to eat desperately!" Ah, desperately eating! ”
Zhang Han: "Damn, I haven't said such dirty swear words since the beginning of the novel!" You forced me! Fatal scissor legs oops! Before Zhang Han could use his stunt, he was kicked away by a person next to him, and the pain flew to the side. Everyone looked at it, and it turned out to be the white horse general Gongsun Zhan!
"Get out of the way, boy!" Gongsun Zhan glanced at Zhang Han, who had become a "big" character on the ground, and continued: "Then Lu Bu is invincible in the world? I've had countless traitors in Saibei, no! I have killed countless enemies, but I have not seen a real opponent, and I will take the life of the dog of the person with the surname! Then he went out of the tent with his weapons to meet the battle!
Lu Bu scolded so much that his mouth was dry, and his stomach was hungry! So he ordered the kitchen to bring noodles to eat, but when he saw that someone finally came out to fight, he was overjoyed, and the chopsticks stirred into the bowl for a while, and he actually circled all the noodles and stuffed them into his mouth at one time!
Gongsun Chan was shocked, turned his head and shouted to the princes: "It's really amazing! Amazing chopsticks! ”
Zhang Han covered his buttocks and scolded: "Sister Shenni! I can be okay too! ”
Lu Bu ate the noodles in the bowl, and beat them out!
Gongsun Chan was shocked again, turned his head and shouted to the princes again: "It's really amazing! Proud of the style! ”
The princes: "To fight or not?" Get back if you don't fight! ”
Gongsun Zan saw that he couldn't delay, so he yelled and rushed towards Lu Bu!
When Lu Bu saw that the war had finally started, his whole body was so excited that it was difficult to attach, and he came up! I saw that the halberd painted by Fang Tian in his hand straightened into a spear, piercing the heart of Gongsun Zhan's eyebrows!
But after all, Gongsun Chan is also a famous general who has experienced a hundred battles, and he knows that the opponent's three-plate axe is powerful, and this first move must not be eaten hard! So he hurriedly flicked the reins of the horse in his hand, and turned the direction, and Lu Bu hit the air!
Seeing this, Gongsun Zan hurriedly turned around and took Lu Bu with a silver spear in his hand!
Seeing that he was about to succeed, he felt that he was holding people in the air, and he couldn't move! Looking at it intently, it turned out that Lu Bu actually held Gongsun Zhan's silver spear with one hand, and it had become a stalemate at this moment!
Lu Bu yelled: "Ha! ~~!! ”
Zhang Han said in the crowd: "Small universe! That's a small universe! "All the princes were frightened by Zhang Han. At this time, someone had quietly left the crowd and was ready to save the child who was holding the silver spear!
Lu Bu roared, Gongsun Zhan saw that his eyes were bloodshot, and knew that the other party was indeed good at martial arts, and his strength was infinite, if he continued to fight, sooner or later he would be defeated, so he hurriedly prepared to retreat, but the silver spear in his hand was held by Lu Bu at the moment, and he couldn't move at all!
Cao Cao exclaimed, "Oh my God! General Gongsun is holding a silver spear, I'm afraid I can't get out! It's just that the words are not finished, but when he saw Gongsun Zhan lose the silver gun, he ran away, shouting: "General Lu! This gun is for your mother! Don't be polite with me! "Everyone was extremely embarrassed when they saw it!
How could Lu Bu's 100% win rate ever be lost? Although it's just a simple matchmaking battle now, if you're careless now, how will you play in the future qualifying? So Lu Bu rushed to the red rabbit horse, and the horse traveled thousands of miles a day and flew away like the wind. It's time to catch up!
Zhang Han shouted with his hands and mouth: "Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, B, A!" ”
Xuande asked strangely, "Is the Great Compassion Curse of Brother Cool so peculiar?" ”
Zhang Han roared: "I'm helping General Gongsun transfer 30 lives, okay!" ”