When I was very young, I always loved to dream.

In my dream, I turned into a phoenix soaring for nine days, leading and singing, all birds trembled under my feet, and all the people bowed to me. What a wonderful thing that is.

Since it's a dream, there is always a time to wake up, and every time I wake up from a dream, I look at the willow-waisted room outside the city, and I only feel that my whole body is empty, and the dream is too real. It's frighteningly real.

Therefore, I have an inexplicable emotion for the night, joy and a faint fear.

Yes, fear, for my father used to tell me that the unknown is the most terrible thing. Obviously, that dream was a powerful unknown for me, who was only five years old, and almost made me desperate.

It was a very strange feeling, because I seemed to be a phoenix in the sky, looking down on the people. But suddenly, it turned into a sparrow in the ground, crying mournfully, looking at the phoenix like a king, despising itself.

So, who am I?

※※※ "One day, Ling Ai will be transformed into a phoenix that soars for nine days." ”

In the autumn of the year when I was five years old, a monk met me in Rene and said to my father in a serious manner. The father didn't say anything, just laughed.

That's me, not as dark as other people's skin, on the contrary, there is a layer of white light flowing from skin to skin.

Like water.

Later, I realized that if I was to use pink makeup to describe me at that time, it must be very appropriate.

Of course, my father would not believe the words of this monk, he was the younger brother of the current head of the Nanban Pa family, and he was almost cocooned by this kind of compliment.

Another reason is that the Nanban people hate monks, and this is not about anything else, only about war.

"Donor, the monks don't speak." Seeing that his father didn't believe him, the monk made a gesture and continued.

The father looked at him, still smiling. My father rarely laughed, and he was generally serious. When I was only five years old, I only remembered him laughing once. The next day, a general died.

He has a lot of power in his hands, so he laughs and makes people scared, although I am not very afraid of him.

The monk finally left listlessly, and the smile on his face grew stronger as his father looked at his back. He suddenly turned his head and said to me, "Niu Niu, do you want to become a phoenix?" ”

"Becoming a phoenix?" I muttered along with his words. The word phoenix, for me who was only five years old, was too familiar to me.

Just because of that dream.

"Yes, turn into a phoenix!" My father looked at me and nodded heavily. It seems to be making some kind of determination.

"Of course." I gently stroked my bangs on my forehead and replied softly.

Since dreams are all done like that, there is always a reason for it. I thought about it, looking at the blue sky outside the courtyard, the heat inside is always hot, like a stove, and there is no spring, summer, autumn and winter in my impression.

Actually, when I was five years old, I didn't know spring, summer, autumn and winter.

When did you have the concept of the four seasons?

I guess that's a memory I only had after my father sent me to Asasho-tei on the outskirts of Kyoto.

There, for my dreams, is the beginning and the end.

※※※ In the seventh year of Emperor Shengping of the Han Dynasty, after my father's repeated admonitions, I had a phoenix dream and became the daughter of a merchant in Kyoto. Then he knelt at the foot of the pine pavilion.

It was winter, and I never thought the air could be so cold. Soon after the snow, straight popsicles hung from under the eaves.

I looked at the gray cornices, and for the first time I was nostalgic for life in Genet.

"People go to high places, and water flows to low places." Six-year-old me, of course, didn't know what that meant. I guess he taught me this sentence. However, the water doesn't really want to flow down, like this popsicle. It would rather hang on the eaves and let the cold wind blow strongly, but also hold on to the last hope.

"Alas, get up, son!"

It was his voice, calm and magnetic.

I looked up, and his tall shadow covered the eaves, the popsicles, like a mountain.

"Please take it in, master!"

Although I had long thought about saying this, I never thought that I could say it so expectantly and so religiously. Perhaps, this master is at least much taller and more handsome than the imaginary one.

Yes, it was handsome, even though he was wearing a Taoist robe.

"Get up!" He sighed again, then held out his hand to himself.

I stretched out my small, cold red hand and put it in his big hand. His hands were white and slender, and I looked up and saw only a pair of caring eyes through the gap in his palm. There is also a tightly pursed mouth, which has clear water chestnut angles.

"Child, are you sure you want to stay in Cangsong Pavilion?"

"Yes."

"What is the purpose of your coming to Cangsong Pavilion?"

Objective? I looked up and looked at him a little blankly. Looking at his kind appearance, I really couldn't bear to lie to him. "I'm here to become a phoenix."

If you say that, you shouldn't lie to him.

He laughed, perhaps pleased with my innocent answer. He squeezed one of my small hands. I was willingly pulled by him and walked towards the top of the mountain.

His hands, warm and generous.

※※※ "Momo, have you done your homework today?" ”

He's calling my name.

My real name is actually Pamoli. A very beautiful name, jasmine, is a small flower commonly planted in our Nanban, white, beautiful. However, my father told me that my current name is Limopa.

Li Mopa is Li Mopa, he shouts "Momo" like this every day. I am also content. I put down the book and said yes softly. Then he stared blankly at the bronze mirror opposite.

The mirror was very smooth, and the whole mirror was like grease that had just been dug up. The lubrication has a faint yellow tinge. Inside is a face. Although I don't know very well, I can still see that this face is delicate and lovely, and it is appropriate to be disgusted and happy.

There is no time in the mountains, Shengping is seventeen years, I am sixteen years old, but he is as young as ever.