Zhao Yuyang and I were drinking together, no one was talking, and we were each drinking.

It's almost twelve o'clock, and Chang'an County is still lively.

Downstairs is still bustling with men and women.

A little beggar begged at everyone who passed by, and he nodded his head and smiled exaggeratedly, his eyes rolling wildly, as if he were glancing at me.

There are no stars in the sky, and there is no moon, as if this county is the only one in this world.

I can't help but think that there are stars too, but they are blocked by the clouds.

The moon is on the far side of the earth, and it will not rise until tomorrow, but it will be hidden by the sun's light.

"The Head of the Oiran" is still very lively. Hey, it's past midnight, but the whole restaurant is still bustling.

At this time, dozens of cars drove up with their lights on, full of the roar of car engines, and they blocked the entrance of the hotel, blocking half the street. Hundreds of horsemen also rushed over, full of neighing horses, and they surrounded the entire neighborhood.

Damn, what's the situation, you're going to kill me?

Zhao Yuyang's eyes were glaring, his eyes were red. He said to his subordinates, "What's the situation? ”

Dozens of forbidden soldiers immediately leaned nervously together, and some of the forbidden soldiers were scattered on the open ground in the hotel.

The door of the convoy opened, and Jin Yuguang, the head of the household department, and Yang Mingyang, the head of the law department, walked down first. They glanced at us and walked over to a table on the other side. The table and the people at the table next to it hurried downstairs in amusement.

The door of the convoy opened again, and Dongfang Mingyue, Dongfang Yongbai, Pu Qinghong, Li Hongsi, and Zhu Mengzi walked down in turn.

Dongfang Mingyue ran over: "We just finished a meeting!" What are you two doing here? Haha, what are you doing with it? ”

Park Qinghong also came over: "Put down your guns!" We're all friends, so what? ”

Tang Emperor Li Hongsi walked over: "Isn't this Zhao Yuyang, the crown prince of the Han Dynasty?" How do you have time to drink here? ”

Zhao Yuyang was a little at a loss, and said: "I persuaded Liu Xingchao not to rebel, not to be the emperor, I still ......"

Li Hongsi: "Hey, it's all in the past, don't mention it again." ”

I asked them, "What are you doing here?" ”

Dongfang Yongbai said: "The imperial court held a meeting just now. Just after the meeting, everyone had a meal in Chang'an. ”

Me: "What? ”

Dongfang Yongbai: "You'll know tomorrow." ”

Dongfang Mingyue said to me, "Haha! You're a big deal! We're all discussing, how did you survive the last 10 months in prison? Everyone quarreled for a long time. My second brother said that you survived by eating human flesh. ”

Dongfang Yongbai: "Nonsense! When did I say that! ”

Dongfang Mingyue: "Okay! Do you dare to say you didn't say it? ”

Dongfang Yongbai: "I said 'maybe'!" Do you know what 'maybe' means? Possible! ”

Dongfang Mingyue: "I remember that you clearly said 'yes'." ”

They were arguing.

Dongfang Mingyue asked me: "Tell me quickly, what's so interesting about the Royal Prison?" What have you been doing for the past 10 months? ”

-

-

I'm tired of it.

I'm tired of this boring, miserable world.

Damn, something came to me that I thought I'd never want to think about.

Seventeen years ago, when I was ten years old, I committed suicide by putting a rope around my neck and hanging it on the beam of a small temple at the entrance of the village, only to be saved by an old beggar who happened to come to steal something.

Please note that this time it was not when I threatened Zhao Sanye with suicide at the age of fourteen and asked him to give me a letter of introduction, but that I really committed suicide.

I deliberately chose it late at night, at the entrance of a deserted village. Damn, I forgot why! Maybe it's falling out of love, or seeing a neighbor commit suicide and wanting to try, or not wanting to grow up, or thinking about the true meaning of life...... Damn, I don't know why I killed myself. If I really knew why I wanted to kill myself, I'm afraid I'd kill myself right now.

Of course, I'm not talking about suicide, but about what happens after suicide.

People tease me: "Hey, hanged guy!" How do you feel when you're going to die? ”

I said, "I feel chills all over my body, I don't feel anything at all." Oh, no, it's not that I get cold, it's that when someone touches me, I feel someone else's hand feel cold. ”

It's true, I really feel that way.

People asked, "Hey, hanged guy!" When you were going to die, did you see your mother? ”

I said, "See, I see her waving at me and touching my face." I also saw my grandparents, grandparents. ”

, I'm lying. I didn't see anything, but people said that, and I followed them. It wasn't until fifteen years later when I read the Senate's "Interrogation" that I understood the principle that people would always say what they were told to say, which is called psychological suggestion.

People say, "Hey, hanged guy!" When you were about to die, did you see heaven? ”

I said, "I see." I saw a bright light, a gate, an old man beckoning to me, and there was a lot of good food in it. ”

, I'm still lying. Because I've heard before about this that people see any light or an old man when they're dying. It wasn't until fifteen years later that I read the Senate's "Mnemonics" and understood this principle. The Senate often used this method to transplant false memories to others, and the legendary cult learned this method without a teacher.

People say, "Hey, hanged guy!" When you were about to die, did you regret it? ”

I said, "Regret it! I did it wrong, I'm sorry for my dad, I'm sorry...... Belch...... Uh......"

I didn't say it later, because I was my father's relative. Of course, that's also a lie. I'm a 10-year-old kid who knows what a fart! Whoever regrets it will not say regret, and whoever says regrets will not regret it. It took me many years to figure this out.

People say, "Hey, hanged guy!" When you're going to die, you ......"

My dad is here. He scolded those people. People scattered.

Me: "Dad, why are you scolding, people just care about me and love me." ”

Dad: "Forget about it." You haven't hanged yourself. Do you understand? ”

I nodded and said, "Understood." "Of course, my mom still doesn't understand what that means.

Many years later, I understood. I understand it every year, and it gets more and more every year.

I remember one day, when my eyes were very dazzling, and the bees were buzzing next to me, I was standing in the shed next to the public toilet, and a few questions suddenly appeared in my head:

Who am I? Where am I from? Where am I going?

I am me. I come from me. I'm going to be me.

It doesn't matter who I am, what matters is who I think I am. It doesn't matter where I'm from, it doesn't matter what I've done, it's where I feel I've come from and what I feel I've done. And most importantly: I'm going where I want to go.

So, I forgot everything. That day, I saw that the chirping birds were cute, the stinking dung buckets were cute, and even the sneering villagers were cute—because, even if they weren't cute, it wouldn't be my business. I think my sad background, my unbearable past, is also cute, because I don't admit that they are mine.

I'm going to be in control of my destiny.

-

-

I said to Dongfang Mingyue, "What are you talking about?" I haven't heard of anything underground. ”

Dongfang Mingyue: "You have been imprisoned in the royal prison for ten months!" No one makes it out alive, and I've never heard of anyone coming out alive for so many years. ”

Me: "When?" I don't remember anything about the Royal Prison. ”

Dongfang Mingyue's eyes widened, looking at me, and then at the others who were equally surprised, and said, "Dongfang Ju!" Are you sick again? ”

I said, "What Oriental Horse?" Who are you talking to? My name is Chen Ju, the only descendant of the Chen family in Qicheng, Shandong, my father's name is Zhang Liangjun, and my mother's name is Chen Qinghua - I follow my mother's surname. ”

Dongfang Mingyue: "Are you sick?" ”

I said, "Miss! Why do you ask a question that doesn't exist? Look at the shape of my mouth: I-never-been-been-emperor-home-prison-prison——! In fact, I haven't even heard of the Royal Prison. ”

I said to Dongfang Yongbai and the others, "I haven't been to the Royal Prison. Isn't it? ”

The men looked at each other.

Dongfang Yongbai said: "Yes! I testify. Orient...... Well, Chen Ju has been staying on the ground well. ”

Dongfang Mingyue said to his second brother: "Are you stupid too? You just kept saying that you said he ate human flesh down there! ”

Dongfang Yongbai: "Nonsense! When did I say that? I've never mentioned anything like a 'royal prison' or a human flesh. Oh yes, what is the Royal Prison? ”

Li Hongsi persuaded Dongfang Mingyue: "Hey! Whatever is a big thing, the past is over. ”

Dongfang Mingyue: "Okay, you all dare to lie to me!" ”

Me: "Do you remember that you lied to me in Jiangnan?" ”

Dongfang Mingyue's face changed color, glanced at Pu Qinghong, and said, "Get out!" You two eunuchs drink your own stuffy wine!" ”

She took the people to another table quite far away, and Dongfang Yongbai asked me to go, but I politely declined.

They were there talking and laughing.

Zhao Yuyang and I are drinking sullen wine here.