The mysterious book made me nervous, so I continued to wander around the Royal Library, flipping through the pages - I read whatever was weirdest.

So I knew all kinds of strange things.

And,, it's all the truth of history.

Because, these are the history of the imperial court.

Specifically, it is the "history" that the royal departments write for their own departments - they do not lie to themselves.

This is the grievances and grievances of countless departments of the imperial court.

You see, they are not only fighting in the Ming Dynasty, but also fighting for countless years before the Ming Dynasty.

Like what:

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Battle of the Tofu Division.

In a certain dynasty in the past, there was a great ministry: the Tofu Ministry.

It believes that the truth of the world lies in tofu.

Later it split – the sweet tofu department, the salty tofu department.

People north of the Yangtze River think that tofu should be salty, and people south of the Yangtze River think that tofu should be sweet.

The two sides are at odds, because it is about people's way of life, which is the dignity of human beings, and people must not be offended.

The two sides fought for their ideals, and the result was a decades-long war.

Later the emperor ended the war because he liked spicy tofu, so it was decreed that the tofu had to be spicy.

This is the "Battle of Tofu", and the King James History Book only states the emperor's ruling on Tofu, and does not mention that war, but the forbidden book is clearly written.

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Battle of the eyelids.

It was a terrible world war.

The war almost destroyed people's faith.

The original people were innocent and perfect, and they believed that the world was innocent and perfect.

This axiom leads to an inevitable conclusion: "man is perfect", "imperfect man should not exist", and "destroy all imperfect man", so under the emperor's order, people kill the disabled, the mentally handicapped, the albino, the yellow-haired, the hairy, and the black-skinned.

In the end, people began to kill single eyelids, because how beautiful the double eyelids are, how ugly the single eyelids are.

There were so many people with single eyelids that they accounted for almost a fraction, so the war also lasted for many years.

Later one day, the emperor gave birth to a crown prince with a single eyelid!

How is this possible?!

The emperor has double eyelids, and the queen also has double eyelids, how can she give birth to a single eyelid, could it be that the queen cuckolded the emperor?

The imperial court repeatedly investigated for a long time, and even invited Sichuan people to administer justice.

The Sichuanese people said angrily: "Damn! Have you ever heard of the concept of 'dominant gene' or 'recessive gene'?! The emperor is a mixed gene, and the queen is also a mixed gene, and any kind of child they can have! ”

The emperor liked his son too much, so he issued an edict: a single eyelid is the most beautiful.

The war is over.

The consequence of this war is that people generally regard a single eyelid as beautiful – at least on the surface.

After reading the records of the forbidden history, it dawned on me why people have to say that ugly single eyelids are the most beautiful.

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The hardest thing to tell right from wrong is the battle of the survival department.

The battle of the Ministry of Survival is the ultimate truth of the world.

Axiom 1: "Human survival must be reproduced" inevitably introduces "everyone must have more children", this is the mission of the Ministry of Survival: let every subject have more children, and infanticide must be punished - for example, killing one must have two.

Axiom 2: "Population is exponentially growing" will inevitably lead to "population will inevitably overflow", and it will inevitably launch "the overflowing population must be executed", this is the mission of the Second Ministry of Survival - to kill all the excess population and ensure the survival of mankind.

One day many years ago, maybe hundreds of years ago, maybe thousands of years ago, maybe tens of thousands of years ago, maybe millions or tens of millions of years, hundreds of millions of years ago, the Imperial Household Department calculated that the population of the empire had reached a certain limit (this is a value pointed out by the emperor, because he is the emperor, so the value he said is the correct value, how could the emperor be wrong?). From that day on, the Second Ministry of Survival replaced the Ministry of Survival to ensure the survival of mankind, and from the early hours of that year, all excess pregnant women and babies were to be executed.

It happened to be twelve o'clock at midnight on December 31, and a pregnant woman gave birth to a child.

The midwives of the empire recorded the time of the event: 0:00 on the first day of January.

The Second Survival Department that received the information executed the child and the mother, because if one more child is born, the child continues to have children, that is an endless number of children, how can there be so many resources in the world, this will inevitably lead to the demise of the empire!

The survival department was angry, it was obviously twenty-four o'clock on December 31, and it was not zero o'clock on January 1!

If there is one less child, the children and grandchildren of the child will not be born, that is, endless children, so that the empire will not be finished?

The two divisions mobilized their respective armies and fought a protracted war.

The matter was reported to the emperor, and the wise emperor thought about it for a long time, and suddenly found that time has no meaning: he can't understand the meaning of the moment, then the time composed of the moment is meaningless, the space is meaningless, the things are meaningless, the language is meaningless, the thought is meaningless, life is meaningless, and life is meaningless.

The Emperor shot himself in the head and died.

The war continued between the two armies, with millions of casualties and tens of millions of civilians.

In the end, the Forbidden Army got angry and sent bombers to blow the two armies to ashes.

The war ended.

Later, the new emperor issued a new law: it was forbidden to be born at zero o'clock, and all those born at zero o'clock were executed.

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In addition, there are also the battle of the Ministry of Witchcraft, the battle of the Ministry of Supervision, the battle of the Ministry of Officials, the battle of the Ministry of Legislation, the battle of the Ministry of Science, the battle of the Ministry of Skin Color, the battle of the Ministry of Household Registration, the battle of the Ministry of Statistics, the battle of the Ministry of Fiction, the battle of the Ministry of Truth, the battle of the Ministry of Prisons, and the battle of the Psychiatric Hospital......

Damn it!

It is a miracle that human beings have survived until now!